Turbulence - 5. Chapter 5

Surfacing
Late Saturday Night, June 12th

Denver and Claire kept up a cheerful patter together, although internally Denver was anything but up-beat. While doing his part to keep the conversation going with Claire, his mind became preoccupied as he poured over the events at the warehouse. It would've been unreasonable to expect the Freshie Party to go any better than it did. Daniel and the other freshies had been overwhelmed by the mass of older teenagers, who were thrilled to be celebrating the start of summer and their new status as kings and queens of the school. Four years had not changed the character of the party, and Denver realized it could easily have been him in slave chains all over again.

Denver shook his head slightly in irritation--it was a 'no-win' situation. If they had skipped the party, then in September Daniel would've faced a freshie court sentence for ducking out of this first party of the year. And if the consequence admittedly was something of a joke, it still would've left him unprepared for the fall Freshie Dance. . . or the dangerous corners of Riverview High.

I had no choice. . . taking him to the warehouse was the right thing to do.

In reality, Denver should've been satisfied with how things had gone. The little guy had faced up to the seniors and shown them that he could be a 'good sport' and that he knew his 'place' in the order of things. Pissing off Troy had been a mistake, but Daniel earned back points dealing with Nolan. In a way it was sad that all those seniors who had been on their knees in grade nine, only wanted to know they were not alone. The cycle of hazing simply fed off itself year by year: never getting any worse, but certainly not getting any better.

Mark had caustically criticized Denver's decision to take Daniel to the party. And in a wildly uncharacteristic moment of unity, Denver's former girlfriend Beth had agreed with Mark. The three had argued over it together during Denver's break from kitchen duties at the Brass Lantern. Beth disliked anything to do with freshies and Mark argued that the move was just going to single the fourteen-year old out for more abuse later. People would take advantage of how obliging the boy was, how eager to please and how much he wanted to be part of the in-crowd.

"He'll do anything the older kids ask him to do," Mark had warned. "He'll do anything you tell him to do."

That's when Denver stopped arguing with them--he knew better. Besides, he knew exactly what Mark was really concerned about.

Denver recalled his own grade nine experience--his was more like the boy named Chris--they both had taken a stand and pushed back. But all of their defiance had done neither of them any good. Denver's senior had been one of the worst imaginable, and took delight in tormenting the young freshie. The only thing Denver's pride had earned him was a year of abuse from the circle who surrounded Justin.

Denver checked Daniel out via the rearview mirror. A smudge of dried semen or peach fuzz on Daniel's upper lip caught the light momentarily. The boy sucked his lower lip in, and while Denver laughed and quipped with Claire in the seat beside him, his cock was a painful bulge trapped uncomfortably between his thigh and the seat belt.

Mandy had been the source of most of the chatter coming from the back seat, but Denver didn't know if this was their usual pattern or not. Mandy leaned forward to ask Claire a question about somebody she had met. This launched them into a whole new conversation. Another time or place, Denver might've been interested in the way Mandy was skillfully mining Claire for information. Denver could imagine Mandy double-checking details, sorting and filing social facts. Girls awed him the way they kept all this at their finger tips. The two girls sounded like they were studying for a mid-term exam. Inevitably, Denver tuned them out the way guys always do.

He glanced in the mirror again. The city lights illuminated Daniel's face and his eyes sparkled in the occasional brilliance of a passing car. When Denver glanced back a second time he caught Daniel studying the curve of Mandy's slender figure. Daniel caught his glance then looked out the window. Denver wasn't sure how the boy was handling things--they hadn't spoken since they left the party.

Daniel was actually thinking about Denver; he sat looking out the window, stressing over his senior's reaction to his decision regarding Chris. Daniel knew that when Denver was a freshman, he had resisted the pressure to be a slave to the seniors, and apparently had taken a beating for his stand. Daniel held his ground with Troy, but he caved in with Chris. What could Denver possibly think of him down on his knees for Chris?

Just another kid too scared to do the right thing.

Denver kept looking at the boy in the mirror. . .searching. . . all the while feeling empty inside.

Where was the understanding the young freshman had felt at the table, when Denver squeezed his leg to let him know everything was cool. . . that he'd done the right thing? Daniel didn't think that he could face Denver's disappointment; he glanced at Mandy crowding into the middle of the bench. He had touched and kissed so many boys and girls at the party, he'd lost count. He jacked Chris' cock and some girl had sucked his dick. And now, he was aroused by the sight of Mandy's tits.

There was some comfort in that.

Mark's party planning had not stretched to the point of keeping the driveway clear for the BMW. Denver slowed at the house and then had to cruise down the street looking for an open spot. Daniel walked beside Mandy, distracted from his thoughts by the need to accompany her to the door. She kept close to Claire, prepared for the worst.

“Hey Mandy. . . relax. . . this is not the Freshie Party anymore,” Denver reassured the nervous girl.

She flashed him a smile. Denver glanced at Daniel walking beside her, hands thrust in his pockets. Like Mandy, he looked like he was a bundle of nerves. Denver wished he had not let this after-party go ahead. He felt like he needed time alone with the kid.

It immediately became apparent that Denver's party was certainly not as wild as the Freshie Party. People called out when Denver appeared and he had to focus on his guests. Mark gave him a searching look which he discouraged with a slight shake of his head. Mandy was impressed with Denver's house. She asked if she could wash up and Amanda drew her down the hall toward Denver's room.

Mark pushed his questions about Daniel and Denver aside and put his arms around Daniel. “Welcome back kid. I'm glad to see you survived the Party.”

When Daniel ventured out onto the deck, he found forty or fifty people scattered in happy clumps around the pool drinking, chattering and laughing. It was a younger crowd--there were not very many seniors or freshies. Without talking to anyone, Daniel strolled over to the pool, kicked off his shoes, pulled his shirt off and dove in. The silence below relaxed him and the water felt good against his skin. Daniel imagined the warm water washing his face clean. He surfaced at a quiet edge of the pool and looked around at the party. He still felt out of it, but there was warmth in the voices. . . soon he would join them. He looked around for Mandy, but didn't see her.

Denver circulated quickly to greet the various people Mark had invited. Inevitably he also inspected and took inventory of the house. Crowded parties in his dad's home made Denver nervous. When he returned to his boyfriend by the pool he brushed a hand against Mark's back in a reassuring gesture. Denver was unconscious of Mark's anxiety. He watched Daniel drifting around the pool by himself.

“Christ. He looks sad.” Denver took a long pull at a bottle of beer and stared at Daniel bleakly. “I'd better go talk to him.”

Mark broke in to stop him. “Look. . . I know I have not been there for you about this. It's too crazy right now. Wait till later when we get rid of everyone. . . I'll check on him now.”

Denver met Mark's eyes.

“Don't worry, I won't drown him out there.” Mark's throat tightened for a second when he read the warmth in Denver's eyes. He broke his lover's rule by leaning in to kiss him on the neck and whisper softly in his ear. “Of course I can't promise I won't seduce him either. . . ”

Denver took a look at Daniel bobbing out in the water before turning his attention to a freshie crying on Amanda's shoulder.

Mark grabbed a fresh bottle of iced vodka out of the freezer by the bar. He walked to the edge of the pool and captured Daniel's attention by dramatically stepping into the water fully clothed. He went under and when he surfaced to sweep the dark hair out of his eyes he caught Daniel watching him with a half smile. With all the drama he could muster he waded through the water toward Daniel's side holding the icy bottle above the water. He slipped the cap into his pocket and took a short pull from the bottle. He handed it to Daniel.

“Drink”

Daniel took a sip and started to pass it back.

“No, I said drink.”

Daniel took a longer pull at the bottle and then held onto it. Mark wasn't sure what to say. He just stayed near the boy watching him. How did Denver think he was going to help this kid? Doesn't Denver realize he's attracted to this grade nine? Mark considered his own relationship with Denver--he needed Denver because he liked someone strong and Denver did it for him. Denver had a lot of presence and strength. From the first time Mark had met Denver he had been drawn to the way the older boy could take care of him. Daniel was already following Denver around like a puppy.

How long will it be before Denver realizes he can have this kid?

The need to be alone with Denver, away from everyone else's demands, coupled with his lover's continual discomfort with sharing their relationship openly, hit Mark like a wave.

“Are the parties always like this here?” Daniel took another drink and bobbed in a circle.

Mark noted his slender and inviting body as he turned around. Mark found himself drawn to his bright eyes and rich lips. He barely knew the boy but he saw some of Denver's traits in him. Daniel would find his way to the center of any crowd. He was another golden child confused by anyone who did not automatically like him. Denver's voice suddenly rose above the murmur around the pool deck and reached Mark's ears.

At least Denver understood how he had managed to burn away his popularity in the last half a year.

“Actually Denver rarely has parties. . . He's doing this for me.”

Daniel looked at him questioningly. Mark gestured for the bottle and took a drink.

“Denver knows I like the crowds and he wanted me to keep my mind off of you.”

For half a year Mark stood beside Denver and listened as his boyfriend argue his way out of every important social circle in the school. All Denver's strident condemnation of freshie hazing and then bang, he had suddenly decided get a freshie of his own.

Someone to protect. . .

Mark drained a little more vodka after replying, what a joke. They were boyfriends. That meant Denver put up with Mark's friends and cleaned him up when he had had too much, and it meant Mark put up with Denver's crusade, his inconvenient bisexuality, the ex-girlfriend who always seemed to be around, and now this delectable kid, this sudden rival for his lover. The only thing that kept Mark going was the private Denver who nobody else knew--his passionate lover.

“That's honest.”

“Denver thinks he is big on honesty.” Mark took another pull at the bottle and smiled before handing it back to Daniel. “Denver is Batman trying to right an ancient wrong. Welcome to the bat cave. . .” Mark explained cryptically. Then someone caught his attention.

“Look!" he pointed. “I think she's looking for you.”

Mandy had come out of the house wearing an over-sized t-shirt and some shorts Amanda had located somewhere. Mark though her pretty enough in an under-developed sort of way. Standing in the patio lighting she seemed oddly familiar to Mark, but he could not make the connection.

“Yeah, thanks for the drink.” Daniel passed the bottle back to Mark and started to swim to the edge of the pool. “Catch you later!”

Mark stayed on the other side of the pool and watched Daniel draw himself out of the water. The wet jeans clung to the boy's hips and thighs. “. . . And you're fucking Robin,” he muttered to himself.

The girl came up to Daniel and they sat together on the edge. Mark did not know how to deal with Denver about this. He had enough trouble dealing with Denver's half-in, half-out of the closet attitude toward their relationship. Mark started to take another pull at the bottle when he was pulled under by a wave of friends sent into the water by Denver. They pulled him off in an excited jumble of talk and laughter. Denver watched the worry lift from Marks brow as he was drawn back into the party's center. He glanced at Daniel and Mandy sitting by the pool side, then over to the girl who had been crying smiling now at Amanda and Amber who had gathered a circle of girls together.

The wizard works his magic and the world is made whole, he thought to himself. Feeling depressed, he grabbed a bottle of his dad's best scotch and went into the living room to sit in the darkness.

Daniel and Mandy paddled their feet in the pool for awhile, content to not really say anything. Being together without a crowd of friends, or at least one other person was a new experience for them. When it came to Mandy, Daniel was used to taking a back seat to Greg.

Mandy finally spoke. “Denver seems nice.”

“Yes”

“This is some house.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do you think we could have a drink?”

“Sure.” Daniel gazed across the pool and tried to think of something that would break the awkwardness they both felt. Mandy gave him a little push and he looked at her startled.

“Daniel, go get me a drink!”

“Oh!” he got up and headed to the bar, but paused and turned back. “What would you like?” He'd never seen her drink before. He had a sudden image of her mom bludgeoning him with her stick while a tipsy Mandy swayed in the background.

“Anything will do.”

Daniel rummaged around the bar guessing at what Mandy would like. Finally he grabbed two beers and headed back to her. They sipped the bottles for a while. Daniel felt happy just sitting next to her listening to her voice. Your loss Greg, he thought to himself.

“That was a kinky party wasn't it?” she said.

“Yes”

“Claire kept me away from most of it.”

“Good”

“Did you see Arlo?”

Daniel shook his head. “I didn't think Arlo was there. Did he get bought by a senior?”

“Not yesterday. I didn't see him. I'm sorry you got pushed around by that guy. Are you okay?”

Daniel took a drink before he answered, “It was no big deal. I'm fine.”

Daniel found himself wondering what compromises Mandy had made during the evening. He also wondered how long it would take for someone to tell Mandy about what he had done.

Mandy looked at Daniel. Guys talk like that. Greg broke an arm playing football in the park and two days later made out like he never noticed. A drunken and excited Sandra had stumbled up to her just to tell her that she had seen Daniel giving Chris a blow job. She might just as well have hit Mandy in the stomach. When Sandra laughed, Mandy was so angry she could have slapped her. Daniel smiled at her and she smiled back wondering what Daniel was thinking. She had never seen so much violence or sex; the Freshie Party had been an education. The grade twelve girls had been just as frightening as the hulking boys. She was not so young and inexperienced that she didn't realize that Daniel could be a target too. She couldn't imagine how he could do such a thing. The homosexual jokes in class were not funny anymore. She wanted Daniel to kiss her here in the moonlight. She wanted to know he was okay. She wanted to know that he did not like boys more than her.

Amber walked over and invited them to meet some of the other people at the party. They were drawn into the group and soon forgot the tension of being alone together. Claire had an infectious laugh and many wicked stories to share about Riverview High. The older teenagers shared memories from the last year which helped the new grade nines feel like there was something beyond the Freshie Party they might look forward to. Someone prompted Mark to replay some of the funnier lines from a play he had done. Mandy catalogued names and relationships, happy to be sitting by Daniel's side and intensely conscious of his naked torso. In the saner atmosphere of the pool-side party it was easier just to pretend Daniel had never touched another boy. It was easier to pretend she had not kissed and touched the other girls.

Daniel was feeling high when a uniform appeared from around the house. The scene might have been funny if he had not at that moment been passing a fresh beer to Mandy. Mark looked over at him, pointed a finger at his frozen face, and burst into stifled laughter behind his hand. Like most boys in Mandy's circle Daniel played it straight with her mom. But now he appeared as the punk who got her daughter drunk. Mandy's police officer mom handled it with grace--she kept the smile off her face. Daniel's discomfort was cute.

Not the little sixth grader I once knew. . .

As he sat pretending he wasn't holding a beer she took in his new height and the strength coming through his young face. The next few years would transform these kids. While Mandy and Claire gathered their things together she stood surveying the crowd. Mark made a quick recovery and filled the silence with polite, if vaguely foolish, questions about her shift. Daniel stayed frozen in his place until Mandy came back and told him to call her. He nodded one eye on her mother. He was sorry to see Mandy go. He was glad she had been there to share his first high school party. It gave them a connection the other guys didn't share.

Mandy's mom exited with a final caution to everyone about having a safe ride home.

The group looked around at each other and burst out laughing. They teased Daniel for a bit while he protested the dire situation he faced. From that point on, the party started to quiet down. Mark had hit the vodka bottle harder than he normally did so it was up to Amanda to push people out the door while Amber helped Mark to a bed. Denver was holed up in the living room. The girls weren't sure leaving Daniel with Denver was a good idea. Amanda surveyed the mess around the pool area and decided she was not up to the challenge. She put her arms around Daniel and gave him a hug.

“Go talk to Denver for god's sake!” She gave him a kiss and went out to get Amber.

Daniel stood looking toward the living room and listening to the sounds of the night. People had left towels and bottles everywhere. He started working his way around the pool picking up the mess. When he started cleaning off the bar counter he knew that he was just getting desperate. It had been a long day and longer night and he was tired, drunk and discouraged, but he felt like he couldn't see the sun rise without knowing where he stood with Denver. He dropped the cloth and turned to the dark living room.

He found Denver stretched on the couch with a half-full bottle of scotch next to him. Daniel put the bottle on the coffee table. The beer was making his head spin and he needed to sleep. He sat down on the carpet next to Denver and leaned his head against his senior's hip. Denver had been avoiding him since the Freshie Party and Daniel didn't know how to make things right. He closed his eyes to try and clear his head. He brushed against Denver's leg and he felt the lanky twelfth-grader stir.

Daniel looked up when he heard Denver mumble “Daniel?” He dropped his head onto the older boy's knees.

Denver roused himself and looked down at his freshie. The house was quiet.

“Oh God I'm sooo sorry I screwed up!” he heard Daniel mumble.

“What?” Denver tried to clear his head so that he could understand.

“I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I'm sorry I let you down.”

Denver realized what he was talking about.

“God no Daniel! You did what you had to do!”

Daniel looked up at him with tears of frustration staining his face.

Denver stared at him perplexed. “Did you think I was mad at you?”

Daniel's watery eyes answered for him. He lifted a hand and brushed the boy's face.

“Look Daniel, you were dealing with a lot of shit. . . I threw you at all those other kids and let you do that with that kid.”

Denver knew the worst of it was he had been turned on by it all. Daniel kissing the other boys; his lips covered in that boy's cream as the orgasm erupted on his mouth. God help him he was drawn to Daniel's vulnerability. Denver knew he had issues. Daniel put a hand on Denver's leg.

“I know you didn't want me to back down.” Daniel buried his face in Denver's jeans.

The feel of Denver's touch in his hair was a comfort, but the words reassured him more.

“Daniel. . . I don't want you to be a hero, I want you to survive. . . I said you would have to do things.” Daniel thought about that for a moment. “All those seniors watching will back off now. Some will think you've done enough now.” Daniel picked at Denver's jeans while he listened. “What you did tonight. . . it's okay you know. . . it was just something you had to do.”

Coming to terms with yourself
Sunday morning

It was barely light when Daniel surfaced from a heavy sleep free of dreams. His neck was stiff. He must have passed out next to Denver on the carpet. Daniel slipped away from Denver and looked down at his friend's relaxed face thinking of their brief conversation before he had drifted off. His mouth was dry and his head and neck ached. He went to the kitchen, put his mouth under a tap, and sucked up water. Then he scrounged for some juice in the fridge, which he carried out onto the patio. The sun had not cleared the hedge yet, but it would be a clear day again. The hot tub was still churning away, left on all night. Daniel's jeans were still damp from his late night swim and they reminded him of the party. He stripped and dipped into the warm water.

The water felt good. He closed his eyes and felt his muscles relax. He let his arms float free in the waves of bubbles and felt the jets working on his body. His balls and penis seemed to float with the current as well. Nice. There was a hot tub at his apartment building, but it was not much fun to sit in the water with the old men and women. Occasionally he and his friends tried to take it over. The other residents would chase them away with stares of disapproval.

Daniel dunked his head a few times to drive the headache away. He slipped back to the kitchen for more juice and a slice of pizza sitting out on the counter. He took them both back to the sauna. The cool morning air helped immensely. Once back in the tub, Daniel rubbed himself and thought of the party. Friday morning seemed farther away than ever.

What was I doing? he wondered if he had changed. Am I gay?

Daniel had always been curious about what other guys looked like; it was embarrassing to him to think about it, but he always thought he just wanted to compare his body to others. Now he was uncomfortable about all his wrestling matches with Arlo late at night in their skivies.

Shit, I can't be gay!

Friday night with Amber had felt so good! He'd been more than a little turned on by some of the girls dressed like tramps at the party. If he was honest, he'd admit the grade twelve's had nailed some of those outfits. Last night in the moonlight he wanted to take Mandy off to the bedroom and show her what he had learned the night before. Well getting caught in bed with Mandy would have topped getting caught by Hagar the Horrible giving her beer.

His biggest concern was he had to admit he felt turned on touching Chris's cock. Something indescribable had drawn him into it, like he wanted to find out what it would be like. It reminded him of the time he found his mother's vibrator. He had just turned fourteen and despite the talk about dildos among his friends it took him a while to realize what it was. Later, after he had seen some gay porn, he tried sticking the vibrator up himself. It hurt, which surprised him because the guys in the pictures seemed to be enjoying themselves. As far as that went, Daniel still didn't know how the guys in the pictures got the cock so far down their throats. He would probably have choked on Chris's fourteen-year old cock. What would he have done if it had been some seventeen-year cock in his mouth?

He thought of Denver, and then the boy in chains. . .

Disturbed by those thoughts, he brushed them away and returned to dreaming of the girls in tight pants. God! The high school girl who had given him a blow job, that alone made the shit at the party worthwhile. It had all made sense while he watched her swallow his cock. It was all a test to prove he was ready for high school. Chris did not understand. Daniel concluded he was grateful that Denver had taken the time to let him be part of it all.

He tried to recall what Denver had said to him the night before. The words were lost, but at least the senior didn't seem upset at him. What was it--only eight days since he had walked into the art room and learned what being a freshie really meant? The last two days had almost drowned him. He'd passed through so much that he wasn't sure how to handle his mom and friends anymore.

Daniel felt like he was drifting off so he pulled himself out of the hot tub and lay down on a chair. The air felt cool as he drowsed.

He could not keep his thoughts on Mandy and the other girls from the party. He kept coming back to Chris and that boy in the underwear and chains. Cum on his face…

Daniel's mom had taken him to the beach when he was eight. She had let him set up his pails and his grandpa's old trowel near her in the sand. She lay near him responding to his occasional conversation in a relaxed voice. Daniel was constructing a massive castle with future developments defined by blue-prints traced in sandy rills. He kept her awake with an equally elaborate history of the castle and its occupants. Any time she caught him in an inconsistency she challenged him--he would reconstruct his stories to suit. Daniel was too absorbed to notice the family settle down close to them. The small children disappeared down to the water and seemed to be no threat to his project. His mother suddenly scooped him up, outraging his eight-year-old manhood. Worse yet, she wouldn't say anything to him. Somewhere on the ride home Daniel realized the trowel had been left behind; he threw one of his rare tantrums, made that much worse by his usually reasonable mother's stony silence. After some harsh words to his mother, Daniel scurried to his room and flopped down on the floor. Something that day just didn't seem right. . . Daniel felt hollow inside.

Denver woke with a start and sat up. He cursed himself for sulking in the living room all night. The freshie party had brought back strong memories he didn't handle well. The pressure from Mark didn't help either. Denver followed Daniel's path and headed toward the kitchen. He grabbed some water and detoured to his bathroom for some pain-killers. As he crossed his room he registered Mark sprawled on the bed. He guessed Mark was still out of it because he didn't respond when Denver dropped the bottle of aspirin in the sink. Denver popped a heavy dosage into his mouth and sluiced it down with more water. He felt like hell and decided to sweat it out with a run.

Denver pushed himself, taking the punishment of the hang-over, feeling the sweat break out. He ran frequently these days. He rarely drank anymore--he disliked being drunk--he hated running even more. The regular route took him into a long winding park that snaked through his neighborhood. He would run down to the other end of the park past the elementary school and down to the houses of his childhood friends where they perched on the bluffs above the river. Then he would run back home. His breath was ragged and he had to discipline his pace; push for a rhythm. Closing on the school he found himself settling in and his body complained less.

Where was Daniel?

Denver had forgotten to check on him before he left the house. He vaguely remembered speaking to the boy during the night. He didn't recall what was said.

Denver made the turn and headed back toward the house. This summer was going to be a problem. His job did not impress his dad, but it was going to take up most of his afternoons and evenings. His dad wanted him to fly out to Hong Kong for a week. If he was going to be of any use to Daniel over the summer he needed to find out if Daniel had any enemies, or if any of Denver's enemies planned to use the kid as a weapon against him. Denver paused to lean against a tree and heave up the water and aspirin. Feeling a little better, he started running again.

He decided to keep some distance from his freshie. When he met Daniel it was easy to play the game and have a little fun at the boy's expense. But the more time he spent with the kid, he discovered he couldn't make this work. Daniel was tapping into something he hadn't been aware of and did not really understand. At the end of the park, Denver slowed to a walk and circled while he cooled off. Finally, he flopped down in the grass and gazed up into the clear sky. Denver found the kid attractive. It was hard not to respond to Daniel's grace. But there was something more--they had both found something in the other they needed.

He's my little brother.

Denver's mom had split when he was nine. She showed only marginal interest in her son. Denver had watched his friends abusing their younger brothers. He supposed that if you lived on top of someone, it's easy to get on each other's nerves. Well they could all complain but Denver just envied them. When his friends talked about the hassles of traveling with their families, Denver thought about the long lonely flights he had taken to meet his dad (or mom). When they bitched about having to share, Denver thought about living on his own for weeks ever since he was fifteen. Was it a coincidence he chose a boy who was also an only child?

When Denver got back to the house he checked around for Daniel. Mark had turned over--he didn't respond when Denver sat beside him. Denver reached across and gently brushed his lover's hair aside. Mark had been a good companion. He was Denver's first real long term relationship. Denver kissed him gently on his chest. Mark had burned himself out with worry in the last week; Denver left him to float up at his own pace. He stripped and slipped on some shorts. When he passed back though the kitchen, he caught sight of Daniel stretched out on the deck.

Denver shed his shorts and sat in the hot tub, arranging himself so that he could gaze at Daniel's face. Denver admired the length of the boy--he was well proportioned and still very lightly muscled. Denver lingered on the curve of Daniel's relaxed buttocks and then drifted up the gentle slope of his back. The boy's body hair was still only a sketch of his future maturity. His young manhood was buried beneath him in the cushion. Denver picked up the empty juice glass, filled it from the tub and flung the water at Daniel's naked back. Daniel slowly became alert, lifted himself up on his arms, and adjusted his eyes to the morning sun.

“Denver?”

“Come on over here and join me.”

Daniel got up slowly and sat on the edge of the hot tub. Denver reached over and pulled him into the water beside him. Denver looked him over.

“So how are we feeling today?”

“Fine”

“No really Daniel, you had a rough time last night and I want you to talk to me about it.”

Daniel struggled with this for a minute and Denver let the silence drag out. Daniel struggled to find the right words to explain what he had done. . . and what he had been willing to do.

“Those assholes sure fucked me.”

Denver thought about that for a moment and replied, “No they didn't, but they might the next time.”

That took Daniel back a bit. It wasn't the reassurance he had been looking for. He felt a wave of anger.

“Do you mean it's gonna get worse?”

Denver backed down a little. “I think it won't. But it's a long way till June 1st of next year. . . and it's easy to get into trouble.”

How to explain that almost everyone gets bored with the freshie hazing very quickly? Most freshies go day by day oblivious to the whole thing. Sometimes, however, the year continues as a nightmare and traditional bullying becomes sadism. Denver had been there and he didn't want Daniel to follow.

“You're sorry you did oral sex with that other kid.” Denver made it a statement, not a question. “You wish you had let me paddle you instead.”

“Yes.”

Daniel immediately realized that it sounded like he had a problem with boys on boys and he didn't want Denver to think he despised him for being with Mark. He did not tell Denver he had not really blown Chris; it just seemed that such a revelation might complicate the situation. Chris's cum had covered his lips, he had tasted another boy's semen, so maybe it didn't matter anyway. He tried harder to put his feelings into words.

“It's not the. . . sucking; it's being made to do it. I mean it's not like Chris and I were, you know, like you and Mark”

“Gay?”

“Maybe; but I mean we aren't friends like that.”

Daniel hoped he understood; he didn't want Denver angry at him. He was also not ready to voice his new fears about himself.

“So why did you do it then? I knew you would have taken the beating. . . or am I wrong?”

Daniel shook his head and glanced up at Denver. “Well that would have been embarrassing, but I knew you wouldn't hurt me.” He paused, thinking about the question. Besides. . . I was really getting into it. Well he did not want to say that, even to Denver. “I didn't want to see Chris get hurt, I guess. Doing. . . that. . . didn't seem like such a big deal at the time. I mean--holy shit!--it was going on all over the place. It's just the freshie thing to do isn't it? You're just a rookie being hazed by the veterans. . . I've been there before.”

Daniel had gotten caught up in the game. In the light of day, Daniel realized he didn't know how he was going to handle his friends about it though.

He asked cautiously, “do you like sucking cock, Denver?”

Denver smiled briefly. “A thrill's a thrill Daniel, even in paradise.”

This allusion was too obscure for Daniel and he looked questioningly at Denver, forcing him to elaborate.

Denver coughed like the sex Ed teacher. “When a man or woman loves a man, he or she will do many things to pleasure his or her companion--”

“Yeah, I get that part Denver.” He let the question drop.

“Daniel. . . now that you mention it. . . I do like sucking cock.” He grabbed Daniel playfully by the waist and dragged the naked boy onto his lap and gave him a hug. “Shall I show you?”

Daniel struggled briefly in his arms and then relaxed. “Better you than Chris.”

They let the idea hang in the balance for awhile.

Denver pushed Daniel into the middle of the hot tub and Daniel settled on the opposite side, and as they continued to talk Daniel kicked at Denver. Denver sparred with him until they both settled into a pedaling motion, each foot balanced on the bottom of the other's feet. The contact was reassuring to them both.

“What are you doing this summer Daniel?”

“Not much. My mom wants to take me to the mountains for a week and I go to camp for two weeks. I guess nothing much else after that.” It sounded like kid stuff as soon as he said it. He wished he could've come up with something a little more mature, like Outward Bound or driving tanks or something.

“Camp is cool.” Denver sounded like he actually meant it, then cautiously asked, “Is the camp close by?”

“No. It's on Lake Superior. I guess it sounds lame, but the canoe trips and sailing are fun. . . I like that. . .” Daniel had been going to the same YMCA camp for four years and he was actually pumped each summer when it was time to go back. It was a private world he didn't share with any of his school friends.

“No! It sounds like a good time!”

And it did; especially the part about it being a comfortable distance away.

That takes care of part of the summer at least, Denver thought. “You need to keep in touch freshie.”

"Like this?" Daniel launched himself across the tub and Denver pushed him away playfully.

Daniel tried another attack and got dunked as a result. He was feeling better. Denver never made him feel dumb.

“So what are you doing for the summer?”

“Well. . . I have a job.” Denver had been working in the kitchen of a local restaurant. His dad couldn't understand why he didn't get something that would look better on his resume. “I might take a short trip too." Like to China, Denver avoided talking about his globe trotting, it always seemed like bragging.

Another bout of Daniel's playfulness, and Denver was getting the idea why older brothers ended up crushing younger brothers.

“Daniel cut it out! I'm your senior for god's sake!”

He grabbed Daniel's wrists to stop him from tickling and twisted him over for a couple of swats on the ass. Daniel tried a head lock but Denver just walked over to the pool and dropped him in. Daniel surfaced and clung to the side of the pool. Denver reached down and gave Daniel a hand out.

“You better wash up so I can get you home. Use the pool house.”

He watched the boy as he walked away. Denver dressed and went back inside the house. He lay down next to Mark and kissed him gently to wake him up.

“Hey sleepyhead, how ya doing?”

Mark opened his eyes. “I feel like shit.” He rolled over.

“I'm taking the kid home. Do you want to join us?”

Mark shook his head. Denver gave him another kiss and left him alone with his misery.

---------------------

Denver had met Karl Goessel four years earlier in Karl's back alley. Karl's afternoon had been slow for a change. The Brass Lantern was enjoying something of a recovery thanks to the combination of Karl's cooking and the business community's attraction to age and authenticity. Situated in the corner of the Heywood Block, a heritage property anchoring one of the few green spaces in the downtown core, the old restaurant had been discovered by BoBo businessmen and bureaucrats. They were attracted to the restaurant's well preserved wood and understated decor. The ambiance was due to the fact that Karl had drifted through four decades without any impulse to modernize his father's business. During the long quiet years when the trade barely kept the doors open Karl became a fair carpenter, puttering around the sunny dining room removing the signs of decay.

The business began its rise to local popularity ten years ago with the gentrification of the old business block and Karl's decision that he could no longer afford a cook. Karl had to simplify the menu considerably, but he also turned out to be a good cook. A generation of health inspectors claimed he had the cleanest kitchen in the city. His basic menu and simple specials were well received along with the pleasure of dining in natural sun light. Karl hired a string of civil employees to make the businessmen happy. In the 90's Karl bought a couple computers; they made sense to some part of his old German mind. He found room for a pair in one corner of the lunch counter and tapped the potential of a new generation of customers. A corner nook provided couches and over-stuffed chairs around a gas fireplace he installed himself. In his spare time he hunted down brass fixtures and eclectic furniture to improve his place.

He left the polite dinner conversation to his staff.

Regular patrons noticed two things about him: he never had to hear their names twice and his food was always good. Karl was as solid as his business. He looked more like an old butcher than a chef. Businessmen hashing out details over a meal would nudge each other as Karl shuffled by, frowning and muttering about the latest item on his repair list, only to be distracted by some urchin at the computer with a snag Karl could invariably solve with a slow heavily accented explanation. Customers would point with satisfaction at their contributions on his menu. He was always willing to stop and listen politely to a suggestion. The next time the customer came in, he or she might be invited to try it. If it met with approval, the menu would change. More often than not the suggestion would never be mentioned again. Anyone who asked would receive a terse reply, “Didn't make it right.” His older customers knew that meant he didn't like it.

One fall day four years ago, Karl stepped out to clean up his garbage cans. When he reached the cans he was startled by a sudden clatter, which upon closer inspection revealed a tall slender boy in a ripped shirt, cowering behind the red dumpster. Karl took in the cut above the boy's eyebrow, the bloody nose and bruised mouth. About to speak to the boy, Karl was distracted by the sound of four high school boys noisily upturning garbage cans down the alley. The boy appeared ready to bolt, so Karl calmly gestured for him to stay still. There was fright in his eyes, but also a burning anger. The older boys turned back when they saw the old man fussing around with the cans. Karl looked down at the boy, face buried in his arms, and invited him to come into the kitchen for awhile.

Denver accepted his invitation and sat in the corner of the kitchen watching Karl slowly shuffle around. Denver thought of him as an old bear. After awhile, Karl suggested Denver clean himself up in the back room. Karl made a sandwich and left it while he turned to his washing. Denver came back and taking the hint ate the sandwich. When Karl stepped away to handle an order Denver took over at the sink.

The two worked silently for half an hour. Karl approved of the pains the tall fourteen-year-old took to clean the pots and pans. The boy continued to busy himself. Denver noted how often the old man washed his hands and cleaned the work spaces. As time went on he began to mark the locations where Karl stored his equipment. Denver began returning things to their respective places after they had been cleaned. Occasionally, he gestured that he didn't know where to put something. Karl would point with a knife or spoon.

Finally Karl suggested Denver sit down. Denver sat reluctantly and watched as Karl took out a bottle of Canadian Whisky and two shot glasses. Denver watched as the old man poured two full glasses. He pushed a glass toward Denver and took a drink.

“My name is Karl.”

Denver took a cautious sip. “I'm Denver.” Denver finished his drink and took it to the sink--he took it as a cue to leave.

“You be okay?” Karl asked.

Denver paused at the back door and looked solemnly back at the heavy-set old man.

“I think so” he answered as honestly as he could. “Thank you.” Then he slipped away.

Karl was not surprised when the boy slipped back into his restaurant the next day and resumed his place at the sink. Karl accepted his return without comment. As time went on Karl expanded the range of the boy's activities in the kitchen. After exploring the curious old restaurant, Denver chose to stay in the back. He didn't come every day, some days he came with fresh bruises. He never talked about it and Karl didn't ask. Karl was cautious enough to ask a younger employee's opinion about the source of the abuse. The girl had explained that Denver was a freshie, which generated some more questions. Satisfied it wasn't a family thing, Karl let it drop. If older boys stepped into the restaurant asking after Denver, Karl would say “he ain't here” in a stony voice.

In October, Denver stopped coming for two weeks and Karl felt unsettled. When the boy reappeared with a cast on his arm and a bad limp, Karl moved around the restaurant like the wrath of God and the staff and regular costumers avoided him. A few months later he added a new set of regulars when Denver brought his father in for coffee. When Denver finished grade nine Karl offered him a job. When Denver's dad was out of town Denver became a bit of a fixture working on his homework in the back room or out on the couch near the fire when things were not busy.

Karl was content with that.

---------------------------------

It was still only 10:30 when Karl looked up from his paper to watch Denver bring Daniel into the Brass Lantern. Denver introduced the boy. Daniel took a polite interest in Karl and the old man weighed the boy in his mind. Karl had the two sit while they ate something. Karl just listened as he prepared for the small Sunday crowd. Karl was running things by himself for awhile, so when Daniel was done he took the dishes to the kitchen and washed up while Denver helped Karl handle the growing Sunday lunch crowd. Karl noted Daniel at the sink, a shorter version of the Denver he remembered. He didn't think Denver's young friend was as careful as Denver had been.

“You clean those good now, okay?”

Daniel glanced at the old man and nodded. Karl was very different from his grandfather; but his grandfather possessed the same no nonsense approach to work. The two boys helped around for a bit till the rest of the staff arrived and then Denver took Daniel home.

“I've got to work the whole week, but we'll connect before the weekend.”

Denver reminded Daniel to use his cell if necessary. He paused then warned the boy that he needed to be prepared for another party in two weeks. Denver saw Daniel deflate a little at the prospect. Daniel reminded Denver to phone him, and then got out of the car. Denver watched him bounce to the security doors and sketch a quick wave back at the car.

Daniel had to beg off lunch from his mother and placate her by changing into fresh clothes. She catalogued a list of people attempting to make contact with him and then forced him into a chair for a comprehensive explanation of his evening and night with Denver. Amidst the turmoil of the party and the recovery of the morning Daniel had developed a strategy for dealing with this moment. He allowed the roughing-up from Troy into the story, described a few humiliating outfits for her benefit, catalogued the friends he had seen and amused her with getting caught giving Mandy a beer in front of her mother (that was going to come out anyway).

The rest was far too intense and personal to share with a mom, no matter how cool she was.

Heather Murrell was impressed with her son's ability to create a Disney version of his evening. She omitted to tell him that her own evening had included a hysteria-driven drive down to the party site and an hour spent hovering at the fringe of the party while Hagar Cole consoled her. She had only left when Mandy's mother had promised to phone her with an update when Daniel surfaced from the party. Finding Denver's car was not a problem for Hagar. Heather hadn't slept till she heard he had reappeared not particularly worse for wear and was headed for Denver's.

How do you tell your fourteen-year-old son he was the product of rape at a freshie party?

She smiled at her boy--this time she was the parent and she knew it would be her role to pick up the pieces.

“Just remember if you can't handle things you can always come to me.” She couldn't avoid the hint of fear that entered her voice. “Promise me you'll let me help if things get bad. . .”

Daniel felt an impulse to tell her more, but fourteen-year-olds just don't tell their mothers about much, let alone that they jacked a guy's cock the night before.

He left her with a few more words of reassurance. “Denver's cool mom; he keeps me out of trouble.” He gave her a hug to end the conversation and disappeared into his room.

In the evening Daniel decided to test the jungle telegraph and find out what people were saying about the freshie party.

Boner-69 says:
You lucky bastard how was the party?

Spank the monkey says:
It wasn't much fun

Boner-69 says:
i wish i had a senior

Spank the monkey says:
denver said you get one later

Boner-69 says:
exellent we can go to the parties together

Spank the monkey says:
you dont want to be there. the seniors are shits

Spank the monkey says:
they just want to screw around and make you do stuff. a lot of gay stuff

Boner-69 says:
so what at least you get to party all i did was watch tv all nite

Butterfly says:
Don't you boys know how to type and spell?

Boner-69 says:
its not a english class

BOYTOY_537 says:
hey arlo you missd all the fun while you were jacking off in your room

Boner-69 says:
bend over I saved some for you.

BOYTOY_537 says:
shannon sucked me dry last night man my balls hurt

Boner-69 says:
right where she probably kicked you

BOYTOY_537 says:
she said i was hot

Boner-69 says:
you dip shit, your brother probably begged her to waste her time on you

BOYTOY_537 says:
Fuck you i hope you get someone who makes you suck cock like your gay bum-buddy.

Spank the monkey says:
fuck off Simon

BOYTOY_537 says:
chris said you did it
Spank the monkey says:
fuck you it wasnt like that you saw what it was like

Butterfly says:
They made him and you know it.

Daniel closed the connection. He felt sick that Mandy knew what he had done. He paced up and down his room then reached for a box on his desk and threw it at the wall. When his mom came into the room she found him lying on the bed crying. He wouldn't talk to her.

Daniel heard his cell phone ring but he ignored it. The apartment phone rang and his mother said it was Mandy.

“I don't want to talk to her.”

His mother looked at him for a moment and went back to the phone. She returned and sat on the bed. She reached out and started to rub Daniel's back. Daniel turned his head away. She wasn't sure what she should say.

“Daniel, you're dealing with things you don't want to share with me. I'm not sure it's the right decision, but I've known you a long time and you usually make the right choices. If you treat others with respect then you shouldn't feel bad about yourself.” She kissed his head and slipped away. She heard nothing from Daniel for the next hour.

It wasn't that surprising to Heather when the buzzer announced the arrival of Hagar and Mandy Cole. The two mothers took some wine out onto the porch and Mandy marched into Daniel's room.

Mandy sat on the bed next to Daniel. He rolled over, realized who it was and rolled away.

“Daniel! Talk to me please. I was there, remember?” Daniel was silent. “Daniel, we're friends.”

Daniel sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees. His eyes were red.

“It's okay.” She touched his arm and felt the tension.

“I'm not gay!” Daniel blurted out. “And I'm not scared of them either.”

“I am. And I don't want you to get hurt.” Daniel glanced at her and looked away again. “Daniel, its only Freshie Year.” She had never seen Daniel this upset or defensive.

“Christ, everyone will be talking about it now.” Daniel was sure it killed any chance he might have with Mandy. He looked at her as if a giant chasm had opened between them; he searched desperately in his mind for some way to regain his place with her.

“Sure; and they will be talking about what everyone else did too. A lot of people did things they didn't want to do.”

Daniel knew that, but he didn't want to be one of them.

“I'm afraid they will think I liked it,” he finally confessed.

“So what if you did? You would still be my friend. Isn't Denver gay? And his friend Mark? They seem nice.”

She knew she wasn't being honest. Looking at him, sitting so close to him on the bed, touching his arm, she suddenly realized she liked him better than any boy she had ever known. She didn't want him to want boys.

“Denver is bisexual.” It seemed important to make that distinction, but he still felt trapped in this new role as Mandy's nice gay friend--Will to her Grace. “It's not like that with me. . ." He suddenly felt glad she had come over. “Thanks Mandy.”

She smiled at him and Daniel was conscious of her closeness. Thinking about guys, kissing them, it was nothing but a distraction caused by all the freshie games.

They talked a while longer about the summer. Mandy explained what Claire had told her about the summer parties. Daniel was desperate to kiss her. He was afraid it would spoil the friendship she had offered him. Finally Mandy drew him out of his room and they sat together on the balcony until it was time to go. When they had left Daniel felt drained. As he headed back to his room his mom remarked that Mandy was a good friend.

----------------------------

Amber came to him slowly, her dark air framing her grave face. She lay next to him and he felt her smooth leg and stroked it. She lay on top of him, her soft breasts forming hot cushions pressed against his smooth chest. His cock's sensitive head brushing against Amber's thigh tingled and throbbed. They kissed and her slippery lips slid over his and her tongue slipped in to taste his. When she lifted her body off his chest he reached up to cup her small firm breasts in his hands, marveling at the size of the erect nipples. She moved to kiss his chest and her head slipped down to his aching groin. He watched the sinuous curve of her body molding into his hip, her long blond hair spread over his stomach as she slipped his member into her mouth. He felt her slender hip with his hand. As she traveled over his cock and balls with her lips he let his hand slide between her thighs and up to the damp heat between them. . . The scrotum was soft supple against the side of his thumb. He pushed the mobile testicles up against the base of Chris' hard penis. . . He rolled him over onto his back and straddled Mandy's head while she continued to lick him. He buried his face in the musky crotch tasting the cock. It swelled large between his lips making it difficult to draw it deep into his mouth. His nose was full of heavy male musk and the earthy smell of his lover's damp body. He felt his mouth widen and lips stretch to consume the cock head. His hands ran over the hair thick along the heavily muscled thighs. His mouth filled with the mucus flavor of Denver's cum as he released his own orgasm into Denver's mouth. Satisfied, he slid off of the older boy.

Daniel woke in the early dawn and felt the stain on his belly. He reached down and pulled his fingers back slick with cum. He drew the scent in and then licked a little off his hands. It was sticky between his fingers. He threw off the light cover and sat up. Pulling off his underwear he mopped the spill from his belly and walked to the bathroom. He'd do a load in the morning so that she wouldn't notice. He played with the tip of his penis for a few moments, squeezing a drop of cum from the shaft, and then washed his groin and belly with a hot wash cloth. The damp heat felt good against his tender organ. He looked at himself in the mirror again and pondered the dream.

He went out onto the balcony and sat back in the chair he had occupied just three days and a lifetime of experience before.