Turbulence - 13. Chapter 13

To Daniel the restroom had the familiarity of nine years attending a comfortable old elementary school. The sickly green tiles trimmed with a forest green border must have been fixed in place when his grandfather was young. Half-eaten disinfectant cakes fought a losing battle with the ambient smells of fresh urine. Daniel glanced at a student washing his hands at the sink then studiously ignored him as he hitched his book bag higher on his shoulder and moved over to the urinal. The water splashing against the sink added an even harsher quality to the austere surroundings.

Back at his apartment, Daniel huddled naked beside the toilet. One hand rested lightly on the chrome lever. The taste of bile was strong and the force of his first evacuation had left a dull ache behind his eyes. His gorge rose a second time and he bent back over the polluted water and heaved. The effort cost him and he voiced a small cry of complaint before dropping his head onto the reassuring firmness of the seat.

He suppresses the mild anxiety that comes with exposing yourself to others. Peeing in public, the urine always flows like amber. Voices come and go and then Daniel is suddenly conscious of the handsome boy who has moved directly beside him. There are other urinals here and the boy -- the young man -- with a moustache towering above him, has violated basic principles. At first Daniel feels only the usual discomfort of a male having his personal space invaded at a vulnerable moment. Eye contact is not a good idea so Daniel studies the rusty discolouration in the urinal. His mind produces an image of a dumb wildebeest at the watering hole, unaware that a crocodile is ready to surge out of the water, grab its exposed jugular, and drag its shocked body into the murky depths. Daniel smiles at the ridiculous idea as he carefully shakes off and turns away from the young man beside him. He pushes thoughts of the young man away. Daniel feels the anticipation of sharing an hour's English class with Mandy. He will not let himself think of the annoying tenth grader from lunch.

"Do you mind? I'm going to be late for class." Daniel attempts to make his exit, but as soon as he gains his feet he is pushed back toward the urinals. Strong arms strip his book bag away and fling it toward the sinks and he is locked in the grip of the tall youth behind him.

"Daniel, are you okay in there?" Daniel lifted his head and swallowed past the acid burn in the back of his throat.

"I'm fine" It came out softly.

"What?" His mother's voice was sharp. Daniel drew a deep breath.

"I'm fine. It's okay." He managed to control the trembling in his voice. He drew a hand over his clammy face.

"If you don't feel well you shouldn't go out tonight. Just phone Denver and tell him. I'm sure he will understand." Daniel could hear his mother's concern and her suggestion drove him to his feet. Tonight was important. Daniel needed to see Denver badly. He wrapped his arms around his chest as he trembled.

"I'm fine. "I'm just going to take a shower."

"Well maybe you should come home after the dance. You didn't look good when you arrived home this afternoon."

Daniel shook his head and closed his eyes. It was almost more than he could bear trying to maintain his calm. A wave of panic washed over him, which set him trembling even harder. He suppressed it for a moment and drew a deep breath before answering. When he spoke his voice was light and he managed a convincing laugh. "Jeez mom I just have a bit of the runs for gosh sake. Can't a guy have some privacy? I'm fine, really. I'll be okay at Denver's." He had talked her into it earlier and he was not about to be swayed by her now. "You said it would be okay, mom."

There was a pause and then to Daniel's relief she gave in. Alone again the trembling returned. Daniel took a long look at himself in the mirror and turned to the shower. The hot water felt good. Daniel stood beneath the pounding jets, head bowed, hoping the water might cleanse him.

"Hey, stop it! Let go!" Daniel glances toward the doors but the one teenager is leaning on the jam. It comes to Daniel that nobody will interrupt what is going to happen. "What the fuck is wrong with you guys?"

Daniel fires a right hook up into Frank's face and as the stunned senior falls away he swivels into a perfect fighting stance and drives a hard heel into Jake's groin forcing the agonized seventeen-year-old back into a dirty urinal. The boy at the door slips away in humiliated silence.

Only this did not happen....

Daniel tilted his head back into the water and opened his mouth to catch the hot stream. God, oh God, he lamented, what do I do? There was no pleasure in the traceries of water crossing his body. Daniel spit the water out of his mouth. The memory burned in him and for a moment Daniel hated himself; but in the core of his fourteen-year-old soul where his grandfather held counsel something said "No!"

He listened to the echo reverberate within the confines of the bathroom. "Fucking assholes" he added. That felt better, only the feeling did not last and Daniel was overwhelmed by despair once again. He fell back against the tiles and slowly slipped down the wall. The water dropped like rain and Daniel, naked and oh so vulnerable, folded his legs up to his chin. Daniel wept like he had not wept since he stood beside his grandfather's grave.

Jake's hand slides to Daniel's hip and Daniel makes a move. He twists away and elbows Jake below his ribs. It is a solid contact but Jake shrugs it off and wraps his arms around Daniel in a bear hug that forces the air from him. When Frank moves forward Daniel begins kicking at him. The three struggle for a bit but with his feet in the air Daniel has no leverage and he cannot break the iron grip digging into his solar plexus. Jake swings him easily away from Frank and in a few steps has Daniel at the sinks. Daniel's shirt and t-shirt betray him when Jake pulls them over his head denying him the use of his arms. He ends his fight bent over a sink, arms pulled painfully behind his back. His head is mashed into the wall and his jaw grazes the chrome faucets. The corner of the sink jams against the base of his cock and he knows he is exposed. Daniel is a strong boy but Jake and Frank have the advantage. There seems nothing left to do but beg. Daniel's voice comes out high and desperate now. "Please don't!" Now he knows what they have in mind. He can feel Jake's cock nestled between his exposed cheeks. Even in the nightmare images of Arlo's rape it was never this way. The memory of the dry vibrator adds to his fright. "Don't do it please, come on, just let me go." There are hands touching him and muscles ripple up and down Daniel's stomach. "Please. . ." he finally whispers and the tears mingle with the mucus on his lips.

He has a thought after Jake reluctantly leaves him that the third and perhaps fourth boy will come for their turn. He stands in the stall listening for a long while. Finally he stoops to retrieve his shirts and carefully moves back out into the restroom. His pants remain where he dropped them and his boxers lie beside his book bag. Daniel puts the boxers on, but when he lifts his jeans he stops. He pulls his phone from his pocket and moves slowly back into the stall where he has been violated. Behind the closed door he considers first his mother's phone number and then Denver's. His fingers shake uncontrollably as he tries to punch Denver's number into the phone. Tears resume and he is silently sobbing. The fingers will not work and he has no idea what he wants to say. Daniel sinks to the floor beside the toilet defeated again. The useless phone is clutched tightly in his hand as he cries.

That is how Simon found him.

High school is scene for a gang assault. Six arrested, including 2 juveniles
Riverside Journal, September 11th

Six people, including a 14-year-old and a 15-year-old, have been arrested and charged with a gang assault on a youth that occurred at the Riverview High School, a police spokesperson said yesterday. City police on duty yesterday refused to provide details, saying that only the chief could speak about the arrests. But an officer at the City Jail confirmed that four 17-year-olds were being held on felony assault charges stemming from a fight at the high school Friday afternoon. It was not clear yesterday how many students from the high school were involved in the fight. But a police source said the attackers came to the school from North High School looking for a specific teenager who had been involved in an incident earlier in the week.

Gabriel Eleda, 17, of River Heights, was charged with second-degree gang assault, false impersonation, third-degree criminal trespass and disorderly conduct. Joel Gurrier and Jeffrey Jeanty, both 17 and of River Heights, along with Stephan Alexis, 17, of the Cathedral District, were charged with second-degree assault, a deputy said. Also arrested was a 14-year-old male, who was charged with second-degree attempted gang assault, and a 15-year-old male, charged with third-degree assault. The four older youths were sent to the city Jail, pending further action. The 14-year-old and the 15-year-old were apparently released to the custody of their parents.

The parents of the victim issued a statement calling for closer surveillance in the school and a stronger gang intervention program. School district officials could not be reached for comment yesterday.

Recovery
Friday night, September 10th

Daniel rubbed his hands down his thighs, forcing the fabric away from his crotch. He glanced at Denver as they drove back to the school for the dance. He was not sure he could face the school again. He did not even bother to ask what the dance was going to be like. Daniel had not mentioned the incident to Denver yet. The memory made him flush. His right hand curled into a tight fist. He studied it for a moment and then forced his fingers to relax. He glanced back at Denver and tried to frame the words that would let him confess his humiliation. What would be the point? Denver could do nothing to change it now. Daniel hated this feeling of helplessness. He felt betrayed by the four seniors. He felt stupid. He reasoned that this is how Arlo must have felt during that first week of the summer. He could not fathom how Arlo had found the strength to tell him.

Denver left Daniel to his silence. Something heavy hung over his young friend; something Daniel's usual resilience could not handle. Denver knew the dance might be hard on his freshie. Denver consoled himself that this would be the last party they had to attend. He was not sure why they were even going to the party. It just seemed the easiest way to find closure for Daniel's 'freshie obligations' chapter. They were friends now. Each had found something he needed in the other. They had moved beyond the freshie-senior hazing to the mentorship the school had intended. The twenty-five minutes together everyday was a pleasure to Denver and a welcome break from the pressure of his own classwork.

Denver pulled into a gas station to fill the Echo. Daniel pulled himself out of the passenger door and came to lean against the car close beside him. Denver smiled, drawing a wan smile from his young friend. As Denver watched the pump a car load of people pulled in next to them. Two boys in his class piled out, their freshies shouting excitedly after them from the back seat. One, a classmate of Denver's, banged on the hood of the Echo and shot Denver a friendly finger before following the other into the convenience store. Daniel jumped at the noise and moved closer to Denver. Denver caught his sudden movement.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I guess I'm a little out of it." Daniel responded.

Denver studied the boy as he seemed to gather himself together and force a smile. "Did your day go okay?"

Daniel shrugged and turned away. He leaned on the roof of the small car and watched the teenagers in the convenience store trying to buy a six-pack. Daniel was not sure if going to all these parties had really been necessary. After a week it was clear to him that half the students in his class never attended freshie activities. They made Arlo join a litter cleanup at a local park -- how the fuck was that comparable? That seemed like nothing compared to the agony Daniel had gone through so far. He felt singled out for attention and resented it. He was a target and once again he suspected Denver was the reason. Daniel buried the thought quickly and turned back to watch as his friend pulled the receipt from the pump. Denver smiled at him and Daniel shivered. Jake and Denver, the line between the two handsome seniors blurred momentarily.

One last freshie party, Daniel thought.

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Denver pocketed the stupid coin they collected at the door and somebody checked their names off a list. It seemed a simple thing and Daniel was given a similar coin to keep in his pocket. Denver explained the coin would keep him out of trouble for the next week while the rest of the freshies who had missed the parties were dealt with. Daniel shrugged and put the coin away. He doubted that the coin would help him. No ninth grader could experience the horrors he had faced in his first week. He tried to stay close to Denver as they moved through the hallway.

They drifted into the gym where there was already a fair crowd dancing to a passable band. The dance was not as crowded as Daniel thought it would be. The school had confined the dance to two thirds of the massive gym. The collapsible bleachers along one side were opened up about fifteen rows to provide some seating and a fine view of the battle of the coming bands. Throughout the week, Daniel had seen the posters advertising the different bands invited to perform. Mandy had met some of the musicians and he had listened nervously to her enthusiastic report of their audition tapes. Despite his misgivings and foul mood, Daniel was drawn to the music and the hope he might escape the bitter memories for a time.

Denver watched him wander into the thickest clump. Denver felt like he was chaperoning his kid brother at his first dance. He watched Daniel slowly enter the swirling mass of ninth grade boys and girls. The ninth graders didn't dance, they simply stood fidgeting together, as if charged with the energy circulating between them. The young girls who were desperate to dance formed pairs, while the shy boys watched in shifting packs. Occasionally a girl would coax a boy away from his mates and they would dance for a few minutes. But shyness or the silent press of the others would prove overwhelming, and before long the self-conscious boy would fade back into the safety of the group. Denver kept Daniel in the corner of his eye and stood with classmates. It was easier to stand and watch people rather than shout over the band.

Freak dancing

Daniel watched as Helen and Alice dragged a reluctant Chow onto the dance floor. Alice had made a shy attempt to entice Daniel to dance, but he buried his fists deeper into his pants pockets and rejected her with an apologetic smile. He actually felt glad to be left alone. The effort of talking with Chow and the other boys left him drained. Someone bumped his shoulder to get his attention and he cocked his head as if to listen to the remark. With a shrug, he mumbled a similarly inaudible reply and lapsed back into his own thoughts.

You should have been mine.

Daniel caught his breath and spun around expecting Jake to be right behind him. His heart was thumping when he realized it was just his imagination. Daniel studied the shifting crowd nearby. For all he knew, the senior might be there watching him right now. Daniel sought out Denver's tall figure frozen where they had parted. Denver was illuminated by random strobe lights and the muddy impression left by strings of Christmas lights looped along the walls of the stark gym. The shadows lent Denver a darker, more sinister cast. There was little reassurance in the angular planes of his lean face. The satanic lighting seemed to emphasize the similarity between the two seniors. Daniel's afternoon nausea returned but with it came some of the excitement he had felt pinned to the toilet stall by Jake's probing hands. Denver had strong hands too. . .

Daniel tried to push it all away again.

Mandy was out there somewhere. Daniel started to scan the crowd of largely unfamiliar faces; a few caught his attention. Amber Klein was dancing with Greg. Daniel paused to watch their gyrations. She met his eyes and paused a beat before melting closer to Greg's chest. Daniel turned away and wandered deeper into the crowd. He felt certain she should be there. After circling the gym once, Daniel realized with a start that he made the mistake of looking for the wrong person. Mandy had waves of golden hair framing glistening eyes and a fascinating smile. Mandy had soft curves and long legs. He should have been looking for someone else -- someone more Helen-like.

He saw her almost immediately in a sack-like top and thick glasses. Her hair was pulled back in a disciplined braid. Her disguise seemed to have made little difference. A small crowd of attentive admirers surrounded her. Daniel's stomach fluttered and he cursed the strange self-consciousness he now felt in her presence. His anxiety eased when she caught sight of him and waved. He moved forward stiffly.

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The band ended its set with a quiet song. Denver searched out his freshie in the mass of Tommy Hilfiger clones milling around like a flock of brightly colored birds. Daniel and Mandy had connected at some point when Denver wasn't paying attention. They were dancing together stiffly. Denver sighed. He could read their body language from ten meters away. Mandy wanted Daniel to relax and hold her close. It seemed a wonder that they were dancing in each other's arms. She appeared to be leading him because every time she moved in, he would move back. Daniel seemed stiff and tense for some reason. Denver frowned. In fact, Daniel looked so uncomfortable Denver concluded Mandy might conclude the boy was not interested in her. The two ninth graders broke apart quickly after the dance and Denver watched as the girl was immediately distracted by three boys hovering nearby. A shy Daniel observed the excited exchange for a moment before turning away.

Denver raised a hand to catch Daniel's attention. When Daniel had joined him, he steered Daniel over to the bleachers for a conference. Apparently Daniel had promised Mandy that he would come back for another dance. Senior and freshman sat on a bench, stretched their legs out, and let their shoulders come together.

Daniel felt good after his dance with Mandy. When he was with Mandy he could forget he was a freshie. Nothing had happened in the bathroom. Jake did not matter. Nevertheless, he flinched when Denver leaned into his ear in a guesture that sadly reminded him of Jake. Daniel tried to concentrate on Denver's words and not the fluttering in his groin.

"Daniel. . . can't you see she likes you? You're so uptight out there she's gonna think you're not interested."

Daniel knew he was nervous with Mandy, but he hoped it did not appear obvious. "I thought I was just respecting her space." he replied defensively.

Denver snorted in amusement. "You were not respecting that girl's space at Nicole's. . . you were all over her."

This confused Daniel and he gave his senior a puzzled look. He did not remember much about the previous summer house party. All Daniel remembered was the lingering effects of some dope he must have had and a monster hangover that kept him sober in the weeks since the party. Between the unsavory task of cleaning puke off his bedroom carpet the next the morning and Denver's lecturing him about a fight which mystified him, Daniel had not even objected to his mother's grounding.

"She's not going to break if you touch her. She needs to know how you feel."

Denver's words added to Daniel's depression and he retreated into himself. Daniel was barely conscious of Simon when he sat down beside him.

"Simon, where's your senior?"

Denver's words brought Daniel back. He was not ready to face Simon, so he leaned forward and buried his face in his arms.

"Don't ask. Can I hang close to you Denver? I think I see a few guys I pissed off." There was an unexpected catch in Simon's voice.

"I guess. I'm trying to talk Daniel into making a play on Mandy."

Daniel tried to ignore the comment. It unsettled him. He raised his head and stared at the shifting crowd. Despite his best efforts he could taste the bitterness of the two boys from the afternoon. It made him feel unworthy of Mandy.

"Well, of course he should. She's the most patient girl I've ever seen." Simon gave Daniel a searching glance then quietly questioned his friend. "Are you doing okay dude?"

Daniel's face burned as he watched the crowd. Simon jogged his arm to get his attention. Daniel looked his friend in the eyes. He did not know how to deal with the memory of the restroom or the look in Simon's eyes when he saw him huddled by the toilet. He hated Simon for knowing how weak he was. He wished Simon would leave him in peace.

As if to answer his silent request, the wiry boy fell sideways on the bench beside him and as a startled Daniel watched, slithered under the risers and into the blackness beyond. Daniel glanced at Denver and then back at the spot Simon had occupied. He sighed and returned to his thoughts. The crowd had thinned on the dance floor and Mandy had vanished. Was she patiently waiting for him as Simon suggested? Daniel's usual confidence vanished when he thought about her. He was beset by monsters and he was an unlikely hero for a girl of Mandy's caliber to embrace. He was not clever enough by far. There seemed no way to avoid getting sucked down into the deep. He thought of the boys who had pulled her away from him at the end of the song. He thought of Jake's power and the siren call of Denver.

Someone pulled urgently at his shirt. When Daniel turned around Simon was squirming back through the bench. Daniel shifted closer to Denver to let his friend through and felt his senior's hand briefly squeeze his thigh. Simon tumbled onto the gym floor and ended on his back staring up at Daniel. "Jeez Daniel, look under there!"

Daniel twisted down and followed Simon's gaze. Peering into the dark cavern he caught the shadowy image of Arlo locked in a frenzied embrace with another ninth grade boy. Daniel started up quickly and met Simon's eyes for a beat. He turned away to look across the seething ocean of teenagers to where he hoped Mandy was still fending off potential rivals. Daniel's depression crashed down on him again. The school restroom had stripped the joy that was his due for making the team. He hated being at the dance. He did not know what to do about the feelings Jake had generated or why they connected so strongly to Denver. Daniel's whirling thoughts came back to Arlo making out under the bleachers. He clung desperately to the dream of a loyal Mandy waiting for his return. Suddenly Daniel wanted to get it over with. He slumped back down between his two friends. As they sat together in the ensuing silence, Daniel resolved to make his move on Mandy. Denver and Simon watched as he silently rose and headed back to the dance floor.

She came back as she said she would. Mandy stood alone momentarily, adrift in the crowd spinning slowly as if to find him. Daniel ignored the alarms shrieking in his head and walked slowly toward her. She saw him coming and he hesitated when another boy came up to ask her to dance. She shook her head with a smile and turned back to watch Daniel as he resumed his approach. He saw right through the ugly glasses to her bright eyes and he wanted to be with her very badly. He needed to burn away all his humiliations with a kiss from her lips. He ignored the words forming on her lips, took her hands and kissed her self-consciously. He broke the connection quickly and gathered a deep breath to control his voice. "I like you Mandy. . . we've been, well. . . friends for a long time. . . I know you miss Greg, or. . . I don't know, you're really cool. . . I know you have lots of guy friends now but, I mean, ah. . . will you be my girl?" The whole monologue sounded terrible to him; this moment of glory had turned into a shambles. He tried but could not summon a cooler way to express himself. He had taken a daring leap from the plane; now he felt like he was heading for the ground at terminal velocity. He studied her liquid eyes in terror. She did not make him wait.

"Yes Daniel, I will."

Daniel's heart sang as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. He glided back up into the air in triumph. They were dancing together before the music had even started.

Denver smiled to himself and ignored Simon's rabbit punch to his shoulder.

"Well Denver, I thought your Freshie was a faggot like you."

Denver glanced up at Troy.

"Well he is Troy. I'm punishing him by making him dance with that ugly girl there. If he doesn't kiss her and hold her close he knows I will beat him later with my belt."

Troy sat down beside Denver. "You are so full of shit." Troy paused a moment as they both contemplated the two freshies melting into each other's bodies. "I'm sorry Denver. I don't like what you have become, but you were right about me and the girl." They sat quietly for a few moments and Denver gave him a nudge with his shoulder to let him know he accepted the apology. "So have you nailed the kid yet?"

Denver did not dignify that with an answer. "Peace, Troy."

"Yeah, well maybe a truce; you start dating a chick again and then we'll hang out together. Till then you're just on probation."

"That'll do pig, that'll do."

Troy couldn't help laughing before moving on. At least it's a start. Denver returned to watching Daniel and Mandy dance. They were lost in each other in a way that Denver could not share with Mark in public. So little tolerance. He tried not to let it depress him.

"Oh God, they're coming this way! What should I do?" Simon sounded scared.

Denver saw a familiar gang parting the crowd. A group of their ninth grade wannabes trailed after them.

"Slide under the bleachers." Denver suggested.

"I'd rather not. I'll get raped down there."

The gang was getting closer. Denver reached around and grabbed the skinny little kid and hauled him onto his lap. "Hug me like I'm your mama pint-size." Simon snuggled up to him and buried his face in Denver's neck. Denver put his hand lightly on Simon's neck and played with his shaggy hair as the gang wandered past.

"Bastard, if you get a hard-on, I'll snap it in half like a twig. . . Oh jeez, I can't believe I'm doing this after all the times I teased Daniel. . . Are they gone yet?"

Denver imagined it was Daniel in his lap as he watched the real thing lost in his girlfriend's arms. "No, they're standing right behind you. Whoops, they're turning around. You better kiss me."

"Fuck!" Simon gave him a light kiss on the cheek. Denver was tempted to give the kid a French kiss, but decided he had taken it far enough.

Simon caught wind of the charade and whispered in his ear. "They're not here anymore, are they?"

"No, they went out into the hallway awhile ago."

Simon leaned back and grabbed Denver's shirt in two fists. "You evil fag," he responded gently, narrowing his eyes at Denver.

"This is an ugly side of you. . . I like it. . ."

Simon stayed on his lap and Denver realized that this boy was a little like Daniel. The grade nines really craved attention. Simon was no different, just another lonely boy.

"What did you do to piss them off?" Denver balanced Simon's boney butt on his knees. He even bounced him a little.

"I got jumped leaving the school and kneed the fucker in the sack."

Denver got serious. "That's a problem. The kid is going to have to take you out or he won't get his colors. You can't stay clear of him forever. The longer you put it off the harder it's going to be. He might only want to push you around a little now, but if you don't let him close, he'll bust a cap."

"We shall see." Simon got off Denver and sat for a moment. "Daniel's a pretty boy, It's not going very well for him. You should have made him ugly like Mandy." They watched the two freshies dance on the edge of the crowd. "The bastards leave me alone because I don't look like much." Simon thought about it sadly. "I used to envy him because everyone wanted his attention." The last of Simon's envy had burned away when he found Daniel shattered on the restroom floor.

Denver gave Simon a pat on the leg. "Don't put yourself down Simon. You can be my boy-toy if you like."

Simon knew he was joking and he never even fantasized about such things, but somehow Denver's words cheered him up.

"I'll take a rain check."

Clair loomed out of the dark with a wrathful expression on her face. "Denver, what are you thinking about? If Daniel gets any closer to her they will be fucking on the dance floor. Someone's going to see my freshie and start wondering why Daniel is getting a hard on with a girl who is supposed to be unattractive."

Denver looked at the young lovers and thought Clair might be right. "Simon, would you go out there and throw some water on them?" He watched Simon talk to the pair. After that, Simon latched onto Troy's freshie and started dancing with her while Daniel and Mandy walked back to their seniors hand in hand.

"Mandy Cole! You are forgetting your motivation. Shy ugly girls don't dance with hot boys. You were supposed to be dancing with the other girls, not freak dancing with Daniel." She said it like it was a joke, but Denver could hear the concern in her voice. Clair was a lot like him. She had become attached to her freshie. He felt sorry for her. The beauty queens in grade twelve ignored her. Mandy made her feel good. Denver eyed Daniel and realized there was no way the boy could contain his triumph. He was not going to be able to keep his hands off Mandy so Denver decided to move on.

Daniel was forced to follow sullenly after his senior. When they reached the hallway he cheered up a little and stopped Denver to thank him for the prod. It almost did not matter what might happen to him at the dance now. He was glad he had come. For awhile even unforgiving bathrooms could be forgotten.

Dark corners

Karen watched Daniel grabbing a drink with the big twelfth grader. She was surprised to see him and felt a flash of annoyance at herself. Perhaps she had allowed herself to be caught up in some phoney little adolescent drama. There was no sign of what she had assumed to be a teenage crisis transpiring in the afternoon. Daniel was animated and appeared to dance on his toes as he talked to his senior. She never would've guessed him as the type of student who played you. Even if Daniel was not that type -- and something whispered to her strongly that the handsome boy was genuine -- he was just as likely to be a young adolescent prone to drama.

"There is an example of why we turned all that freshie day nonsense into a mentorship program. Do you remember that boy over there?" John pointed to Daniel. Karen nodded. "That's his mentor with him. Daniel came to us with a 92% grade point average. His mentor is an honors student too. I think they are well matched." Karen thought it was more important that the older boy didn't abuse Daniel, but then it led her to wondering who might have.

"It's not like you planned that, John. They just found each other on that stupid web site." She watched Daniel bump into another twelfth grader. Karen watched Daniel drop to his knees and apparently apologize to the bigger boy. "I'd be more impressed if that kind of bullshit wasn't going on." John glanced away from the gang members being pushed out the door by three harassed security guards. Clearly something serious was brewing there. Hopefully the police were nearby.

"It's harmless." The boy from the hallway was rising from his feet. The boy looked no worse from his momentary groveling. Learning humility was not such a bad thing. He liked Karen for her compassion, but sometimes she failed to see the bigger picture. "Let's take a sweep around the gym."

Karen had always enjoyed dances and loud bands. The students might not believe it but she had been a bit of a party animal in her time. She did not find being the supervisor much fun though. What was fun to the student's was a headache to her. In the flashes of light she saw students making out above her in the bleachers. Mostly it was heterosexual, but she saw gay couples too. She tried hard to be tolerant of the inappropriate contact. One of the boys looked like Simon. He was accompanied by a thin girl. She was sitting on his lap and his hand was clearly up her top. "Don't we do something about all this?" She pointed at the bleachers.

John shrugged, "Where would we begin? We would simply have to do away with these dances completely." John ignored the amorous students and followed his nose toward a circle of smokers. Karen caught movement underneath the bleachers. Well that was hardly a safe place for students to fool around. She wandered to the end of the bleachers to see if she could figure out what was happening. It was too hard to see past the crowd of seniors and the collection of younger boys and girls who stared at her as if she was intruding. Karen had only been at Riverview two years and the upperclassmen were strangers to her. You could move people you worked with, students who knew you. Karen was reluctant to begin stumbling around in the strobing lights amongst the maze of metal struts. When John caught up to her they went back into the hallway.

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The dancing looked fun to the two boys, but they only stood watching. The dance floor seemed to be for straight couples and Arlo at least was not interested in dancing. Daniel had been on the dance floor with Mandy. Arlo still considered himself to be Daniel's best friend, but seeing Daniel and Mandy together left him feeling empty. The intimacy he shared with Daniel that one memorable afternoon haunted Arlo. He wanted it back. He had so much to give Daniel now that he had been with Donald. The heavy music aroused Arlo and he pulled Peter away from the mass of dancers. He needed some place where they could be alone.

Peter and Arlo had connected soon after they arrived at the Freshie Dance, and as neither of their seniors seemed inclined to spend time with them, they drifted away together. Arlo had met Peter at a summer party Quinton and Donald had taken him to -- one of the many unsanctioned parties they had attended. Quinton was always out for the beer; Donald was there for the likes of Arlo. Quinton took very little interest in Arlo and was more than happy to let Donald entertain the freshie. Arlo found Peter an eager if inexperienced partner when they first met.

The tangle of supports under the bleachers seemed a natural place for privacy, but they found they were not alone. Other couples grappled around them in the dark. The movement of people above his head occasionally blocked out the harsh strobe flashes, like they were performing in an old silent film and he was the star. Arlo was bold about his needs and he tried to encourage Peter to use him. But the tall thin boy would not fuck him under the bleachers where others might see. Donald would have jumped at the chance -- the thought sent a shiver through Arlo -- but the eleventh grader was not there. Arlo pressed himself close to Peter, wishing the boy would show some aggression, or at the very least some passion. Peter kissed readily enough. Peter kissed well but he was self conscious; too distracted by the noise and movement around. When Arlo drew Peter's hand close to cover his half-aroused cock the other boy would only give it a quick squeeze and move it to Arlo's hip. Peter's cock must have ached it felt so hard against Arlo's grinding hip.

Arlo needed more. Kissing Peter simply drew his attention to the emptiness behind his balls and his need for satisfaction. Arlo's mind drifted back to Donald. He needed Donald's hands on him here in the flickering dark. Donald would have taken him on the dusty floor surrounded by wide-eyed high school students. Well maybe not -- they had not gone so far as that. But Donald had stripped him to his briefs and commanded Arlo into a bedroom with a last leer at his friends. When they had returned to face the couples necking around the dark basement room, there had been no evidence of doubt in the surrounding faces. That strong memory finally made Arlo hard and he desperately wished Peter would at least thrust a hand down his pants so that he could feel some sense of being possessed.

Peter was simply too shy. Arlo liked to be taken hard, so if Peter would not take the initiative then Arlo would. He slid his fingers up Peter's shirt and let his palms press against Peter's damp flesh. His partner was sweating and when Arlo's fingers trailed through the trickles lingering along Peter's sides below his arm pits. He almost growled into Peter's mouth. The aroma of boy in heat was driving Arlo crazy. Worrying about the watching eyes made no sense to him. Finally, Arlo decided that if he could not coax Peter into driving his cock deep into his well-trained flesh then Arlo could at least consume Peter's one-eyed monster. He ignored Peter's muffled protest as he yanked down on the boy's loose-fitting jeans. Peter moaned a surrender to Arlo's need as his cock rose free of the fabric. Peter was ready for this. Arlo gave the shaft one hard tug that sent a shudder through his partner before dropping to his knees.

Peter grabbed a strut and held it tightly. His eyes darted toward the other couples. His pants clung tightly to his thighs. Arlo consumed Peter, driving the cock deep into his mouth. He tried to provide the force that the oblivious Peter seemed unwilling to offer. Peter was long and thick. It was a satisfying cock and the flavor of it leaked into Arlo's mouth. Arlo forced it deeper letting it choke him just so he could draw in the heavy sour musk rising from its furred root. Arlo worked the length of the cock appreciating its dimensions and the slick sensation of it as it lay along his nose when he paused to kiss the tight sack below. Always he returned to the shaft so that he could drive it far down his throat. Peter's thin thighs quivered in response to the ferocity of his partner's lips. Arlo finally got some satisfaction from the boy when close to his orgasm he finally clenched his fingers into Arlo's hair and started ramming his cock down Arlo's throat. Peter cursed softly and then a string of spunk filled Arlo's mouth before Arlo pulled away to witness the last ragged spurts eject from the still swollen crown. A jet stuck to the hair above Arlo's lip before he fell back on the tender head. It met a need, but not the primary need. Arlo's sphincter muscles spasmed as he imagined the jets he had consumed deep inside him. He craved the mixture of dread and anticipation that came before, and the satisfying ache that followed him home. He needed that still and Peter, a novice fumbling through his first experience of sex, just did not do it for him. Peter smelled good though and as the boy stood dazed from his orgasm, Arlo suckled on his fading cock deep in the moment. It was only an appetizer. Arlo still needed to be led. He still needed to be pressed down.

Peter pushed him away finally and when Arlo glanced up he giggled. Peter smiled at him before struggling to pull up his pants. A boy locked to the lips of a girl nearby caught his eye and Arlo's flagging erection returned. Arlo had an impulse to join the couple and taste the boy as the boy tasted the girl. The boy had been watching. Peter still stood beside him expectantly. Arlo knew they would connect again, but for now his interest in Peter faded. Arlo needed a different partner.

A strobe flashed as Arlo held onto a strut and looked around. His cock jumped a second time when he saw Daniel watching him. In the blackness that followed, Arlo wondered if Daniel might finally come to him. Two flashes later he realized the boy was not Daniel and disappointment washed over him. It was that dark-haired boy, Laine. Arlo avoided the gay boy in class, but here under the bleachers he gestured at Laine to come over. Laine seemed to pause and then turned away. Arlo watched him go. Arlo was conscious of his appearance and a need to escape Peter overwhelmed him. He worked his way through the frame and then pushed through the wall of seniors at the end of the bleachers. He needed the restroom.

The restroom was crowded which chattering teenagers. Arlo had to wait for an empty sink. When one came free he grabbed some paper towel and wiped his face as best he could. Someone came close to him and put a hand on his shoulder. The contact made him jump. He turned and stared at the boy Laine. There was sympathy and concern in Laine's eyes.

"Hey," Arlo simply uttered.

"Hey," Laine responded and then added softly, "I'm sorry."

Arlo turned a puzzled face toward Laine and absorbed his comment. Laine, Arlo realized, thought he had been forced to go under the bleachers by his indifferent Senior Quinton. Arlo responded with a shrug and a small smile. He studied the handsome boy standing before him with his fists jammed nervously in a faded pair of slacks. Arlo felt the pull of the shorter boy. He was conscious of the well formed face that echoed Daniel's; not twins really, more brother-like. The hair set them apart. It fascinated Arlo. The two boys seemed to share an athletic ease and while Arlo estimated Daniel topped Laine by at least two centimeters their slim bodies' mirrored fine proportions. Arlo studied Laine's face and lips that echoed Daniel's soft smile. Daniel's face was always open and confident. Laine had a wistful cast that reminded Arlo more of his own.

Still, Laine's piercing eyes and expressive mouth were unmistakably Daniel. Arlo had studied Daniel's mouth for years and perhaps more than anything else about Laine, that mouth attracted him and left him uncertain. They both possessed that damn confidence in their own self worth. Arlo knew what it was to doubt himself and be in the shadows. He had been in Daniel's shadow for years. He remembered Laine's lip curl into that confident smile that challenged their classmate earlier in the week. Laine, surrounded by strangers in class, smiling that grin he shared with Daniel, and casually pushing his long hair back -- What if I am? Arlo could relate to how Laine was not afraid to tell the world he was fine with that. Laine accepted that he was gay and he just did not get why that should be a problem.

Not much ever shook that damn confidence. Daniel -- out there somewhere freak-dancing with Mandy instead of here beside Arlo where he belonged -- might be confused by what he was feeling. But Arlo knew with the utter certainty of a jealous best friend that Daniel did not remotely considered the possibility that there was something wrong with him; Arlo was consumed by it. Arlo figured Daniel was just working his way through the mystery of who he was. When he did finally figure it out, he would end up just like Laine, demanding everyone to recognize his worth and frustrated if they did not. This was the kind of people they were.

Arlo suddenly smiled broadly at Laine. Daniel's mirror smiled back shyly now, but there was that animal strength in Laine that appealed to Arlo. Arlo warmed to Laine. If he could not have the golden lion prowling the dance floor with his golden lioness, there would be another member of the pride. If only Arlo could show this shy dark panther how to sink his claws and teeth into him. . . then Laine would be his.

Hurt the one you love

Daniel leaned against the wall and watched as Arlo emerged from the restroom; he was followed closely by an attractive boy who seemed hauntingly familiar. But Daniel was feeling out of sorts and didn't dwell on who the mystery boy might be. He was too busy pouting over Clair's refusal to let Mandy dance with him. He wanted to go back into the gym and dance his anger away like he did at the summer party. But he refused to battle Clair for a dance partner. Besides, he could tell Denver was ready to go. Daniel had no desire to resist Denver either, he was more than willing to live with Denver's decision to leave the party. Jake still haunted him, and the memory of what happened a mere eight hours earlier was driving him towards Denver anyway. Daniel needed to reach out and touch Denver right there in the crowded school hallway. He was groping for reassurance of some sort, but had no idea how he might find it. Perhaps he just wanted to know that his life was not about to spiral out of control.

When Denver stopped to talk to some teammates, Daniel risked striking out on his own to the restroom just vacated by Arlo. Inside, he found there were a few seniors by a sink. It was too late to turn back so he slipped into a convenient stall. Daniel hated restrooms. He had clearly spent one time too many in them. His hands trembled slightly as he opened his fly. The strong jet played against the side of the toilet. Each incidental splash threatened to draw attention to himself. When he was done, he leaned against the cool steel of the partition to pull himself together. It did not help. The smell of urine and male laughter drew him back into the afternoon nightmare. Daniel's mouth felt dry despite the water he had consumed.

Jake's hand holds him by the shoulder, thumb pressed into his throat as Jake bends to kiss Daniel's lips. The other hand cups Daniel's groin curling to hook his balls. Daniel wants to push him away, but instead his hands press against the cold steel.

His heart sank when he opened the stall door. The seniors had him boxed in with a ninth grade boy between them. Daniel did not know the boy, but he looked as scared as Daniel felt.

"Now that you're done playing with your wee-wee we found a little faggot for you to suck."

Daniel mutely shook his head and backed away into the stall. As the twelfth grade boys holding the other ninth grader watched, Daniel sank slowly to the floor beside the toilet. He drew his feet close and dropped his forehead onto his knees. The two boys contemplated him as his head shook slightly back and forth. "Hey, this kid doesn't know his place." Daniel began trembling. A hand snaked past his guard and grabbed his breast. At the sharp twist of the nipple Daniel cried out involuntarily. He fired out a foot that caught the senior just below the knee-cap. The youth retreated cursing. With tears streaming down his cheeks, Daniel glared at the boys once and then retreated back into his shell.

"Is there a problem with the little dude here guys?" Daniel heard Duncan 's voice. "You kid, what's your name?"

"Tyrell"

"Tyrell, your rod is getting cold. Zip it."

The other boy quickly pulled his pants up. Duncan turned to someone behind him and told him to find Denver. When he turned back to the ninth grader, he commented casually. "One of these guys your senior?" The other boy whispered a negative in a high voice. Daniel's eyes were drawn upward and he finally focused on the short fourteen-year-old shifting uncertainly between the tall youths. The boy's face mirrored Daniel's confusion and anxiety.

"Jet!" Duncan commanded. The boy weighed the possible threat of the two youths flanking him against the formidable support of the tall youth in a football jacket and opted for flight. Daniel turned his face to the partition as the freshie slipped silently out of the trap.

Denver entered the circle a moment later looking unhappy.

"This your kid?" Someone pointed at Daniel on the floor.

Daniel glanced quickly at Denver and buried his burning face in his arms again. He did not want Denver to see him like this. Even so, he felt an immense relief.

"He's giving us some 'tude, dude. Are you going to deal with him or are you going to step back and let us squeeze the little shit?"

The words brought Daniel's head back up with a start and he watched Denver stare each of the twelfth graders down in turn. Denver glanced at his freshie and Daniel saw the same unreasoning fury he had seen when Denver encountered Troy in Ashley Ball's furnace room. If Denver was not going to be reasonable about this, then the situation could really degenerate. The odds were not in Denver's favor either. Even if Duncan helped, Daniel thought it might be a difficult battle; Daniel felt a need to deflect Denver from his course.

"I'll take a punishment, sir."

His words broke the tension just as Denver was about to lace into the closest of the seniors. Daniel knew everyone's eyes were on him as he pulled himself off the ground heavily. Daniel stepped out of his refuge and dropped his pants. He waited patiently for Denver to come to his senses. After a visible struggle, Denver walked over to him and held him tight across the chest with his left hand. Daniel grabbed Denver's bicep with both hands as Denver wrapped a hand under his arm pit, then buried his face in Denver's arm as his senior spanked the thin cotton stretched across his buttocks. Daniel did not fight the blows and each one seemed to push him deeper into Denver.

Duncan gave him a wink when it was over, then turned to leave. The other seniors were satisfied too and left Denver and Daniel alone. Daniel didn't wait to be told to pull his pants up. As he buckled his belt Denver muttered "Let's get the hell outta here." They left the school in silence and walked back to the car through the September leaves.

Night moves
late Friday night

The incident in the restroom proved to be the final straw -- Denver decided that instead of Daniel spending the night at his place, he should take the freshie home. Beyond that, Denver was concerned that his own urges were being stretched beyond the breaking point. Seduced by the pounding rhythms of the band while witnessing Daniel's lithe body pressed against the girl. . . their awkward circular movements betrayed his senses. He found it hard to keep his resolve. The dark corners of the dance had affected him too. He felt overwhelmed while sitting on the bleachers, tempted by the voices in the shadows beneath him -- the redolence of young bodies in heat added fuel to his fire. Even Simon nestled in his lap had aroused him more than he cared to admit. . . His fingers gripped the steering wheel in a death grip. His mind replayed Daniel's vulnerability. All he wanted to do was fondle and kiss the boy. God help him, he wanted to nail Daniel so badly.

Denver ignored the exit for the bridge and pulled the Echo around the corner that would take them downtown. A series of traffic signals down the long street turned green ahead of him, offering a synchronized seal of approval that he was making the right decision. Denver pressed the pedal and the car smoothly accelerated to catch the next light.

Daniel had apppeared as a frightened puppy in the restroom, cowering and shaking like a leaf. The boy's odd retreat into himself worried Denver.

"Are you okay Daniel?"

Daniel's response was slow and listless. "Yeah, sure." Denver shot a surprised look at his young friend.

Daniel was adrift and miserable, he knew he must try to pull himself together. This was only the first week! Daniel watched the lights and tried to recover the joy he had felt when Mandy agreed to be his girlfriend. He reassured himself that everything would turn out okay. Indeed, things could have been much worse. His eyes followed the passing office buildings and storefronts. It suddenly came to Daniel that they were not on the road to Denver's house.

"Where are we going?" Daniel sounded confused.

"Your apartment."

"I thought we were going to your house."

"No. I think it's better if I take you home tonight. This was the last party we needed to go to and I'm sure you've had enough of this shit for awhile."

Daniel absorbed the explanation in silence. He had been looking forward to spending the night with Denver. Why did everything have to go wrong? It should have been a good day. All he wanted from the day was to make the football team, hold Mandy on the dance floor, and spend the night with Denver. He was fourteen, first string, and Mandy was finally his girl. So why were there tears in his eyes? It confused him. Denver's decision to cancel the sleepover panicked him; he tried to make sense of it.

"Are you mad at me Denver?"

Denver could not stand to see Daniel crying. "No Daniel, of course not. . . It's just that. . . I don't think it's a good idea right now. Frankly, I think we need to cool things off a bit."

"I'm sorry." Daniel twisted the knife in a little more; he wiped his eyes. "I'll shut up now."

Daniel sounded hopelessly heartbroken. They drove in silence until Denver swerved abruptly into a parking lot and jammed on the breaks, catching the boy off-guard. Daniel shrank against the passenger door and looked nervously across at his senior. Denver wrapped his arms around the wheel and put his head down. Daniel wilted in his seat. "I'm sorry," he repeated softly. He didn't know what else to say or how to break through to Denver. He put a hesitant hand on Denver's arm and felt the senior flinch. He withdrew his hand quickly to his lap. Nothing seemed to be working at all.

"You just don't get it," Denver finally admitted, raising his head from the wheel.

"Tell me what's wrong. What am I doing wrong?" Daniel pushed Denver hard -- he seemed driven to find the answer, unable to back off.

"Mark was right Daniel. School has barely started and I won't make it to Halloween. . ." Denver struggled with Daniel's glistening eyes. "It's not safe Daniel. I just have this feeling like I'm going to hurt you."

Daniel took his seat belt off. There was no room in the Echo, but that didn't keep Daniel from trying to move in closer. "Hurt me? Denver, how could you hurt me?"

Denver hesitated.

"Is it because you're tired of me? Because I failed to live up to your expectations?"

"No!" Denver was losing the battle with himself. Daniel was just not comprehending the gravity of the situation and it frightened Denver to have to put his fears into words. He was so afraid of losing the boy. From the moment he had seen the boy in the elementary school hallway, this moment of truth had become inevitable. Denver fought it off with all his might. "You're just a kid Daniel -- there are some things you don't understand. . . please don't push me." There was more than a hint of desperation in Denver's voice.

"I didn't think it was such a big deal. . ."

"Okay let me ask you -- why do you need to stay at my house tonight?"

Now it was Daniel's turn to struggle to find the right words. All he knew was that he needed his mentor. Then suddenly it became clear to Daniel what was really wrong. Frank and Jake had stolen something from him and he needed Denver's help to get it back.

"Please!"

They sat in heavy silence surrounded by used cars, each of them weighing the other in his mind. Finally Denver put the car in drive and turned around. Daniel thought about the heavy sadness that seemed to hang between them. It was just another thing Jake and Frank had snatched from him.

-----------------------

Daniel met Denver's dad. The conversation was thin, the way it always is with a friend's parents. Daniel and Denver sat obediently and talked about the little things that reassure a parent: Daniel's making the freshman football squad; his confusion with the seemingly endless corridors of Riverview High; how Denver had helped him through the mentorship program. Denver sat silently observing, letting the young teen control the evening for a change. Denver's father knew about Mark of course. There was acceptance, if not genuine enthusiasm, although Denver realized that Beth would have been the preference. Mr. Hawk at least provided a distraction for Daniel. The boy seemed to recover before Denver's eyes. Nevertheless, Denver and Daniel didn't linger; they went back to Denver's room and Daniel took a seat on the bed.

"Can we use the hot tub?" Daniel asked shyly; he had fond memories of the hot tub.

Denver nodded.

Daniel went out to the pool house to retrieve the swim suit he had come to think of as his own. He made his way onto the dark patio, determined and drunk with adrenalin. He turned on the jets and slipped into the tepid water, then splashed in the water while he waited for Denver. Daniel had been thinking about this moment for some time; he kept tripping over it in his dreams. The possibility that Denver might see him as something more than a ninth grader in need of protection, a freshie fawning over his senior, motivated his thoughts and actions. Daniel gave a critical examination of his smooth forearms, then lifted a nearly hairless leg above the surface of the water. He let his hand slide beneath the loose drawstring on his suit to first finger the ever emerging strands of pubic hair and then his flaccid penis. He teased the flesh for awhile, reassuring himself of its respectability, and then softly cupped tender balls agitated by the moving water and his growing anticipation. The turbulent water seemed to match his emotions. Daniel had decided there would be no rules tonight. His stomach churned with anticipation.

Denver moved a little slower. He came out and stood beside the hot tub. Daniel chose the nearest corner, his arms came out of the water and rested lazily on the tub's edge. Beneath the moving surface, Daniel slouched comfortably with opened legs. Denver unconsciously ran his fingers over the trail of hair below his navel as he considered Daniel's solemn yet wanting face. He dropped two towels on the edge of the tub and slowly joined his friend in the water. Denver wondered again what could possibly be so oppressing in this fourteen-year-old's mind. Daniel had shifted from being sullen to almost manic in the gym after his dance with Mandy. His euphoria had not dampened in the hallway. Then suddenly, the life had been sucked out of him once again. Denver had been shocked to see the boy huddled in the bathroom. Daniel had been so clearly driven to the edge, a fragile eggshell during the car ride home.

Denver felt very uncertain.

Denver chose the safety of the opposite side, but before he could offer resistance, Daniel drifted across the distance and floated onto his lap. The young teen bobbed a moment before settling straddled across Denver's lap in an unintended mimic of Simon. They were both conscious of the closeness of their groins. Daniel leaned forward and buried his face in Denver's neck, his hands sliding under Denver's arms until he held him in a gentle embrace. Denver ran his hands across Daniel's back then down to his hips and buttocks. Daniel's sudden flinch beneath his touch confused him.

"Is everything all right?" Denver whispered.

Daniel sat up and looked at the older boy. "Yes," but the answer was clearly no. The mixed signals continued as Daniel toyed dangerously with the strings of Denver's suit with busy fingers. The boy's short nails tickled Denver's tense abdomen. Denver was conscious of the small tugs that let him know when binding gave way.

"Hold on a second. . ." Denver diverted the boys wandering hand. "What happened to you today, Dan?"

Daniel paid not attention, he simply proceded in a different direction, brushing the strands of hair beginning to mat the center of Denver's chest. His other hand curled around the waistband dangerously close to Denver's twitching organ. Daniel shrugged silently before running splayed fingers over both pectorals. His eyes met Denver's for a moment before returning to the hard chest.

"I had a really good day. . . I made first string." Daniel's fingers rotated around Denver's nipples exploring the light sprouts of hair. It was a gesture reminiscent of Mark, but Denver was too caught up in the moment to address the similarity.

"Yes you did."

"Mandy said she would be my girlfriend."

"I remember when she told you that, you stud."

Denver detected the momentary spasm of pain as it crossed Daniel's face and then sank beneath the surface. "The first week was okay, you know?" Daniel met Denver's eyes briefly and the boy's bright eyes and vulnerable smile made Denver ache.

He's so goddamned beautiful! But he's hiding something. . .

Daniel shuttered his eyes and pushed his hands up to explore the cords along Denver's shoulders before running his palms down over the rollercoaster curves of Denver's biceps.

"Things were okay," the boy repeated softly.

"Then what happened?" Denver pressed him quietly.

Daniel moved his hands back to Denver's knees and arched his back. His young muscles tensed on Denver's thighs. Denver let his own fingers play across the perfect lines of Daniel's chest, rubbing the boy's nipples for a moment before cupping a hand to the side of Daniel's neck. Daniel's short hair tickled Denver's fingers. Daniel did not answer him, but he smiled softly at Denver's touch. Denver felt like heaven to him. Daniel squeezed his sphincter tight then released the pressure. Despite Denver's fingers on his neck and the thumb rubbing along his jaw-line, Daniel focused on a point deep inside his gut, an unfamiliar emptiness he had no idea how to fulfill. He wanted to strip the baggy suit off and let the roiling water tickle him.

"What's going on inside of you Dan?" Denver held him by the hips. "Or is this 'just a thrill'?"

Daniel reached between them and finally felt Denver's erect penis through the fabric. He shook his head in answer, and then cocked it to one side. The older boy offered something new. Denver fit neatly into a place in Daniel's lonely private life, the key to unlocking a closet door. Daniel reached a hand down to stroke Denver's heavy sack.

"I guess I'm just feeling horny tonight." He let go of Denver and put his hands on Denver's shoulder "Teach me to kiss Denver. You never taught me that."

Daniel really did not know how to kiss. Their first kiss was awkward. Denver instructed the boy to follow his lead. Denver kissed Daniel gently on the lips to savor their fullness, and then waited while the boy kissed him back. He continued with the lesson, sometimes on the lips but gradually searching out more sensitive places on Daniel's face and neck. By the time Daniel had added these new additions to his repertoire, the pair were adrift in the middle of the pool, their bodies locked together. Finally, Denver scooped Daniel up out of the water and set him on the edge of the tub. He began kissing Daniel's body as the steam rose away from him. Denver's touches became intimate, yet they satisfied the boy enough to absorb Denver's attention. Daniel could feel Denver's penis hard against his thigh as the older teen caressed his body.

"You are so young Daniel."

"Please stop saying that."

Denver paused, caught by the tension in Daniel's voice. "I will if you tell me what's wrong," he pressed the boy.

Daniel pushed him away and swung his legs out of the water. He threw Denver a look and stalked away from him. Denver watched him vanish into the house on light cat feet. I guess we'll leave it at that. Daniel was being unusually complex and the wise thing to do was to pull back and re-evaluate. They had already explored deeper into their feelings for each other than Denver could have ever expected. The kid was not being sensible. Denver sighed and followed Daniel into the house. It was turning out to be a less than sensible evening. Denver trailed Daniel to his bedroom. Daniel had shut himself in the bathroom so Denver took the opportunity to strip the wet suit off and jerk his jeans back on. His cock indicated it was not happy with the new plan and resisted being packed away. Denver hopped over to the bathroom door as he struggled with his zipper.

"Daniel, what's going on here? Are you mad at me or something? You've been off all night." Denver tried the door handle on a hunch it might be unlocked. It was, but there was resistance when he pushed against it. "Come on kid, you're killing me here." His plea was met with silence. Denver rested his head against the door and tried to ease the ache surrounding his heart. Just briefly, once before, he had seen Daniel like this -- at the Freshie Party in June. He had never seen him behave this way since. "Daniel Murrell, I know someone hurt you. Tell me it isn't me please. I just need to know you're all right. I. . ." Words like love come cheap and Denver was really not sure what he meant by that anyway. What were his feelings for Daniel and how did they compare to his passion for Mark? Denver spared a moment's thought for his boyfriend, who was out having what Mark called a 'Movie Night' with a group of his drama club friends. Mark was important but Daniel slipped neatly into some unresolved void in Denver's life.

Denver retreated to his bed; he sat staring at the bathroom door.

Jake's hand holds him by the shoulder, thumb pressed into his throat as Jake bends to kiss Daniel's lips. The other hand cups Daniel's groin curling to hook his aching balls. Daniel wants to push him away, but instead his hands press against the cold steel. The kiss lingers on as a free hand squeezes Daniel's limp cock and drifts upward to explore ridged muscles leading to Daniel's heaving chest. Jake's smell is strong and his cock still rubs against Daniel's sensitive skin leaving light trails. Jake's hand moves back down and slides around to the small of Daniel's back. Jake breaks the kiss and his hand darts up to his mouth. Then the fingers are back exploring Daniel's crevice, seeking entrance. Jakes mouth is back at Daniel's lips when his slick finger drives into him. Daniel moans a protest. The hooked finger pulls him upward onto the tips of his toes and Jake's muscled thigh presses Daniel's scrotum as a lifted knee slides between Daniel's slender thighs. Jake's finger probes the entrance to a new world and then pulls free. One hand pressed harder at Daniel's throat choking him and the other finds Daniel's engorged cock. Jake breaks the kiss and whispers into Daniel's ear "I could so do you and I bet you'd like it," Jake licks an ear, "maybe later eh?"

Daniel slammed his open palms onto the bathroom floor and then ground them into his eyes to wipe the tears away. Damn those fuckin' seniors, he silently cursed.

Denver waited with growing desperation for a sign. Finally the door pulled back. Daniel paused, his nude body framed in the open door. Denver drew a deep breath as he absorbed Daniel's beauty. Daniel's glistening eyes were slightly bruised from the tears and his lips seemed fuller from their passionate kissing. Daniel was fourteen. Daniel was outrageously perfect. Denver recalled how awkward he felt at fourteen. He had been all arms and legs attached to a pencil-thin frame and neck. Even now Denver felt like the statue of David, stretched all out of proportion. Daniel's young body had a symmetry that reminded Denver of Mark's. It was like both had traded height for perfect proportion. The end result was awe-inspiring.

"Denver?"

"Yes Daniel."

"What was it like?"

"What was 'what' like?"

"You know. . . your first time. . ."

"Well. . . you remember I told you that I was forced to do things with someone I didn't want to--"

"I need to be able to choose!" Daniel slammed a clenched fist into his chest, his body trembling. "It's my choice!"

Denver gasped at the startling resoluteness of the boy. "Yes Daniel. . . it is your choice, and I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that you had to do something with me."

Daniel furled his eyebrows, as if perplexed. "What do you mean, Denver?"

"Isn't this what this is all about? Me forcing you to do something you don't want to do?"

"No! This is what I want. . . this is how it's supposed to be. . . this is how I wanted it to be. . ."

Daniel dropped his head as he struggled with the incomprehensible feelings burning their way through him like a brush fire. Finally he lifted his head slightly to the side and looked askance at Denver, his eyes challenging Denver to accept his offer. Denver nodded his head slowly and reached out from where he sat on the edge of the bed. Daniel shifted in the muted light of the bedroom. Denver's throat tightened as Daniel inched towards him; he reached out and gently took Daniel's slender wrist, beckoning the boy to present himself. There was a shyness in Daniel's eyes, an uncertainty -- not of what might come -- but whether Denver would find him acceptable. The boy's tentative behavior surprised Denver and he thought, how can he not know this is what I want? Why isn't he filled with pride and confidence in the power of his body? The glances from people in the street , Amber wanting to have his body that night, this girl Mandy waiting patiently for him; how can this angel not feel the power he has and exploit it? Daniel finally smiled shyly at Denver with trust in his eyes. Denver remembered to smile back but his head shook slightly in wonder. It came to him that part of Daniel's beauty was that he did not see this power in himself. Denver would not be the one to take this purity from Daniel, so the words of praise failed to pass his lips. Instead he would let his hands praise Daniel's body.

Daniel was hard and his penis curved away from the soft halo of his abdominals in a graceful arch defying gravity. Denver was conscious of the invitation but concentrated on exploring Daniel's toned body. He placed his hands on Daniel's slender hips and encouraged the boy to rotate so he could enjoy his profile. Thumb and forefinger slid up the back of Daniel's calf until his palm softly cupped a firm cheek. Daniel's back seemed to arch perceptibly and the slight pelvis thrust tightened the flesh beneath Denver's hand. Denver brushed the boy's quivering blade softly with the palm of his other hand. Daniel responded with a sigh, thrusting his hips forward and crossing his arms over his chest. Denver rotated Daniel again and drank in the paired cheeks dimpled slightly with the tension in Daniel's muscles. He let his hands travel up Daniel's spare hips to the narrow of his waist. The purple stain of yesterday's hicky invited Denver's lips and he leaned in to kiss the soft globe. Daniel's breath caught and Denver could feel the shiver through his palms. Daniel's scent was alluring. The hot tub had washed the sweat from the boy. Beneath the chlorinated smell of the tub's mineral salts, Denver caught adolescent male musk. It created a perfume that drove all caution and thoughts of Mark from Denver's mind. Denver leaned his forehead against the hard curve of Daniel's back and allowed Daniel to wash over his senses. He could have buried his lips and tongue between the cleft before him.

Daniel was content to stand trapped by Denver's hands. There was assurance in the weight of Denver's head against his back and Denver's moist breath washing down him. Daniel cupped his sack with one hand as he fingered his hardness. He ached to be touched. Denver lifted his head and let his hands travel up Daniel's back exploring the young muscles. Denver bypassed the sharp blades to let his fingertips touch the soft down on Daniel's neck and then crossed the strong shoulders before sweeping delicately down the arms to take each hand. Daniel responded slightly to the grasp then turned back around to face Denver with a slight smile. He felt incredibly aroused. Denver smiled back before letting his eyes continue their journey down the flat planes of Daniel's body until they rested finally on the prominence of the boy's penis. Denver pulled Daniel the final distance and without a hesitation drew the yielding flesh deep into his mouth. Denver felt momentarily content with this one deep penetration and pulled back to enjoy the texture and taste of Daniel on his tongue and lips. It was the familiar paradox of hard and soft, bone sheathed in the softest chamois. Daniel's cock was a hard weapon that could be defeated by soft lips. Denver's saliva processed the ocean flavor of Daniel and found the taste of the boy's forbidden fruit maddeningly alluring. Denver was getting drunk on Daniel and could not resist another dip from the well. The boy, so new to it all, was unable to contain himself -- he came in a great trembling. It was a hard male urgency and the better-than-blood taste of Daniel's life filled Denver's mouth. Mark would have groaned out soft words with such a release but Daniel stood on shaky legs panting, his fingers digging into Denver's shoulders. Denver might have possessed Daniel longer but he reluctantly released him from his lips. They exchanged glances and again Denver's eyes were met with Daniel's uncertainty -- did I do okay? The gift of the boy's body was before Denver's eyes and on Denver's lips and yet, Daniel was unable to see it.

Denver pulled Daniel down on the the bed beside him and Daniel fell back, his legs draped over the edge, his penis still erect. Denver wanted Daniel back in his mouth or tight against his own hard organ. Instead, he let himself fall beside Daniel, propped on one arm, while his other hand explored the thin forests and extensive prairies on Daniel's skin. Denver smiled at the thought. Salty dew lay across the Daniel-landscape and Denver tongued the dry impression of his partner's navel. All the while, Daniel considered him silently.

"That was nice -- thank you," Denver voiced softly. This was met with a puzzled look and Denver smiled back at him. The age difference came to Denver, guided by the uncomfortable familiarity of Mark's prescient disapproval. Denver kissed Daniel lightly between his breasts. Denver accepted that Daniel was preoccupied with his own needs.

Daniel felt what Denver had given him. He was not conscious of what he had given Denver. Daniel was surprised at Denver's light kisses on his body. His loins still ached for something more but he felt shy. Denver had already done so much. Daniel admired Denver's powerful shoulders. He liked Denver's clean face with its light stubble. He studied the seventeen-year-old's face, freely forgiving the odd blemish as simply a token of his friend's virility. The strong hands felt comforting. Daniel wished they would go back to touching his groin. Will Denver try to enter me the way. . . Daniel relinquished this thought just as he had been trying to dismiss the memory of the school restroom all night; to have another possess you was wholly different than being taken. . . Denver seemed content to lie propped on his elbow beside the boy, occasionally touching.

Daniel did not want it to stop there; he sat up but held Denver back with a hand. He gave the senior a quick look to see if there was any objection before twisting to straddle Denver's legs and then wriggled backward as he pulled the jeans open and then off. In his haste, he failed to take into account the edge of the bed. The sudden inertia caused Daniel to promptly fall off Denver's knees and hit the floor hard on his rear. When he reappeared between Denver's legs he found Denver peering down his length with a look of curiosity. Daniel burned with humiliation; he felt so awkward. Such a stupid idiot! He avoided Denver's eyes and turned his focus to the point where Denver's powerful thighs met in a heavy sack. Daniel's cock jumped. He bit his lower lip and circled the older boy's ankles with his hands. He felt up Denver's hairy legs to the knees and then still carefully avoided Denver's face as he ran his hands along the powerful thighs. Denver did not tell him to stop, so he continued to move up back onto the bed and brought his hands together on Denver's fuzzy abdomen. He weaved around the objects of his fascination, as if requesting permission to explore. The tip of his ridged cock caught on the edge of the bed, another embarrassment. Denver obliged him by shifting further onto the bed and Daniel scrambled to follow him. When he was safely kneeling between the older boy's parted legs he dared a touch.

Denver was big. When Daniel scooped Denver's long cock up into his palm his own cock spasmed slightly and he felt it strain out to even greater lengths. He glanced down at himself and saw a clear drop hanging from his small mouth. Denver's cock grew heavier in his hand. It pulsed with life and fascinated Daniel. The two seniors in the restroom had envied his lips on their cocks. Denver had a lover in Mark, but Daniel chanced Denver's permission and tried a gentle kiss on the broad tip of Denver's crown. He was struck by the strong fresh smell of his older friend. He mindlessly dragged his nose and lips across Denver's musky flesh experiencing his first trouble-free exploration of another man. His tongue slipped out tentatively curious about the flavor. He felt a need for more contact and straddled one leg so that he could brush his groin against the warm surface of Denver's flesh. It was very hard to resist grinding his own cock against Denver. He tried to content himself with a light dusting of his tingling sack through Denver's leg hair. It only served to make him harder and he found his anus was clenching in an unfamiliar way. He was not aware of Denver's soft moans when he tried to wrap his lips around the shaft. Denver's smell was more pungent in Daniel's nostrils as he sucked on the large head. Jake had been bigger, less comfortable in his mouth. Denver was satisfying. Denver's hands caressed Daniel and the boy felt encouraged to continue. He wanted to taste Denver's semen -- the sensations and flavors of Denver were destined to be the last ones he possessed before he slipped away from the vast turbulence of this Friday.

Denver murmured something meaningless and hooked Daniel by the arm pits and attempted to draw Daniel off his throbbing cock. Daniel shook free and pushed his mouth back over the swollen head. Denver did not understand and Daniel was too ashamed to explain it to him. Daniel needed to wash Jake and Frank from his mouth. . and his mind. Denver's knee almost bucked Daniel off when his cock convulsed. Daniel's scrotum mashed against tense muscle as he braced himself against the bed, holding his lips to sealed in the tide of swirling saliva and semen. Denver's strong hands finally pulled him free and dragged him up into a ferocious kiss. Daniel's cock trailed up to Denver's slick groin and a second orgasm rocked them both. Strong hands pressed and molded Daniel's tensed globes. Daniel was not really conscious of the finger slipped into his firm ring until later. He lay atop Denver satiated, content to be held lightly in the security of Denver's arm. Denver's other hand cupped his opening and a finger lightly messaged him. He fell asleep content.

Memories
Saturday September 11th

Daniel woke before Denver and thought about the previous evening. He noticed that Denver had pulled the covers over them. Daniel tried to slip out of the bed without disturbing his partner, but when he came back from the bathroom, Denver was awake and watching him. Daniel recalled the kisses they had shared and felt a stirring in his groin.

"Are you sorry about last night?" Denver asked him.

This was an odd question -- not the open invitation to cuddle in bed that Daniel would have expected. He gave Denver a look of uncertainty, then became self-conscious of his own naked body and slipped beneath the covers. Denver watched him patiently as the young teen leaned against the headboard and pulled the blankets up to his chin. Daniel looked sideways at Denver, trying to gauge the older teen's mood.

"Sorry? Why would I be sorry? Are you?" Daniel once again sounded confused.

"A little." Denver pushed the bedding away, then glided into the bathroom.

Daniel lay back in the bed and rested his head on his arm. Denver's reply stung him and his pride was wounded. As far as he was concerned, the previous night had been perfect. Daniel fondled himself while he waited for Denver to return. He idly let his cock grow between his fingers. The touch brought Denver's late night attentions clearly to mind. When Daniel was hard, he moved his hand back behind his head.

Denver returned from the bathroom and noted the contours of Daniel's body beneath the duvet -- the pointed mountains of his feet, slender legs running parallel to the small erect mound at his crotch. Denver disciplined himself while he rummaged in a drawer and slipped on some boxers. He got back under the covers and turned to his young friend. Denver saw a tear trickle down the soft cheek he had happily ravaged hours earlier. Daniel looked so young in the morning light. Heather Murrell would be ruminating about her apartment, wondering how her boy was. Denver realized he had not kept faith with her and he was having trouble controlling himself even now. The boxers did little to help. His cock seemed conscious of the boy's smooth hip only centimeters away; it hardened in acquiescence.

His confession broke the silence between them. "It wasn't my plan to have sex with you. I'm not supposed to be doing this with you."

"Why not?"

"You're a freshman, Daniel." Denver groped for a tactful way to explain things to his young friend. "You know that seniors aren't supposed to get involved with freshmen."

"They're not?" Daniel repeated. He was certain some older boy like Carlos or Victor would be glad to date Mandy. And it wasn't like he and Denver were lovers; what happened between them was more akin to a ritual of male bonding.

"No, they're not. Only immature loser seniors go after freshmen like this."

Denver regretted the words as they slipped free. Harshly said, it made Daniel seem like less than an equal to him. Daniel would not appreciate hearing this; he did not like being reminded that he was just an immature kid. Daniel stared back at Denver like he was contemplating how to react. Denver had second thoughts about it too. Is he really too young for me? He recalled Daniel lying peacefully the night before and how he struggled with the almost irresistible need to penetrate the boy's warm body. Denver had pulled his finger free and teased himself with Daniel's odor. The desire to act had become almost unbearable. Now, he tried to chase the memory away as the boy lay sulking beside him. Don't put your hand on his rod, Denver commanded himself, before delivering his sermon.

"When two people get this close like we have. . . it has to be meaningful for both of us. Do you understand?" Denver reached over to touch Daniel's hair. "You have Mandy and all of high school ahead of you. I have Mark. You know we are together and we have. . ." Suddenly Denver stopped; he wasn't sure what to say. He was having a hard time even convincing himself.

Daniel smiled at his mentor wistfully -- it dawned on him that there was really nothing more he could expect. Daniel still questioned the vailidity of Denver's homosexual relationship with Mark. Deep down he hoped for some vague reunion with Beth. But either way, Daniel realized that he was the outsider who came between them. Besides, Denver had just explained the unwritten rule that twelfth graders did not mix with ninth graders, unless they were huge losers. . . and Denver was no loser. Arlo's Donald came to Daniel's mind.

Now there's a loser.

"I just didn't want to be like Arlo. . ."

"Arlo?"

"You know. . . my friend Arlo. There's lots of things that have happened to me Denver, that you don't know about," Daniel started. "Either that, or you did know and you just went along with it." Daniel threw Denver a reproachful look that made the older youth blanch. Daniel broke eye contact and stared back at the ceiling. "It's like you've been off in your own little world leaving me to cope with all this shit." Daniel tried to hold back but it was too late; he knew he was being unfair, but he couldn't stop himself. Denver had warned him things would be hard, that school would take up much of the senior's time and he might not always be available. Denver could not ignore his job at the Brass Lantern either. Deep down, Daniel knew his mentor was trying, but it didn't change the fact that it was unfair for Denver to write him off as an immature freshie. It certainly didn't matter to Jake and Frank. Daniel felt another tear drop down his cheek. Denver should not have dismissed him so easily.

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Daniel."

"Arlo's senior gave him to some asshole this summer and he raped him. Last night I saw him under the bleachers, going at it with some other guy. . . He doesn't know anything better Denver. Now he treats the guy who raped him like he's his boyfriend or something."

Denver closed his eyes, shamed by his own strong desires; he noted the touch of horror in Daniel's high voice. He remained silent, at a loss for words.

"I was jumped in the bathroom yesterday afternoon at school."

"Oh God Danny!" Denver put a hand gently on Daniel's chest. So this was what was bugging him! A flare of white-hot rage consumed the sorrow he felt for the boy.

"Yeah." A single word acknowledged the anguish Daniel felt. "You weren't there to stop it like you were last night. But all the time they touched me, and while he was. . . doing me. . . I could see you in my mind. I knew you would have taken them all on for me; like you were going to last night." Daniel's tears flowed again.

"What did they do? Do you know who they were Danny?" Denver's voice trembled with rage, his teeth grinding. "Did you get their names?"

Daniel thought of Jake and Frank briefly before replying with a slight shake of his head. "No. . . I mean I guess I might recognize them if I saw them."

"I can do something about this Daniel."

Daniel was startled by the look of determination in Denver's eyes -- he knew what his senior would do. But at the same time, he seemed hesitant. He measured the satisfaction of getting even with Jake against the sure knowledge that when Denver confronted Jake, Denver would learn everything that happened in that restroom. Daniel was not sure he could face that; he looked away from Denver. The image of Jake was too strong -- it frightened Daniel. The big senior would forever be a shadow on the special moments he shared with Denver, but he could not bring himself to completely admit to Denver what had transpired.

"It's nothing now. Nothing really."

"Danny. . ."

Daniel stopped him with a look and a quick smile to reassure his mentor that he was fine. "I'll try to remember who they were." The words seemed to placate Denver and he continued. "All the while it was happening, I told myself that later I could get back to you and the Brass Lantern. I could share what had happened and you would understand. I thought. . ." Daniel hesitated and bit into his lip. "All the while that senior was doing that to me, I thought. . . you would never treat me that way." Daniel looked back at the ceiling and sighed. "I knew you would be able to help me put things back together. You always make me feel good about myself."

Denver reached out to Daniel beneath the sheets and drew the boy in. "You make me feel good too Daniel. . . too good."

Denver's strong arms made him feel secure. Daniel might have purred like Mandy's tabby cat. He was not quite ready to let Denver slip away from him. He needed reassurance that their night together meant something more than the incident with Jake.

"Will you promise me you won't just think of me as some little freshie."

"I promise," Denver surrendered to the moment.

"Could we maybe add a few more good memories now before you take me home?"

"Such a demanding boy." In the early light they caressed each other. "It hasn't been all bad this week has it?" Denver hoped to chase away the painful images of Daniel's mysterious day.

"No."

Denver let Daniel explore his groin.

"Duncan told me you're getting off the line pretty fast. . . you're running your routes good."

"I guess."

"Swimming try-outs are next month."

"I don't think so. . . not this year anyway."

"You finally got Mandy."

"Till she falls for some older guy."

"Have a little faith kid." Daniel was more vulnerable than he ever could have thought. Denver recalled his own first romance and how badly it had ended. He tossed the covers aside, drinking in Daniel's sweet body. He traced the thin start of Daniel's pubic hair and stroked his rampant penis. "I have a good feeling about you two. But remember what I said to you before -- you never know what the future holds for you."

Daniel twisted around anticipating Denver's strong body. Not a small mouse before Daniel or a lazy robin -- he wanted his mate to be a more formidable prey. Because Daniel was not a tabby cat anymore. Clean limbed and graceful muscles rippling and tensing under the strong memory of a summer tan. Wild morning bed-head framed bright with eager eyes and curled lips. Deceptive teeth that had not yet thought to bite or nip threw an impish grin toward Denver's face. Between Daniel's slender thighs his perfect shaft jutted proudly above straining orbs. Not a pussy cat -- this was a young lion come to feast.

Denver could not help but smile. "Okay, but this is the last time Daniel. . . I have to work."

"We'll see," the boy responded.