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    Freddyness
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Inside - 2. The doors

As I lay, comfy in my bed,

Slowly penetrateing in to repose,

On door closes out of reach

Another opens ventral bound.

 

The matt noir door,

Locked fast with rusted chains,

While the other a shimmering onyx gate way,

Lays open and delightfully cordial / pleasurable.

 

Everynight I stare at,

Its beautiful gleam,

And ponder on whats exclusively within,

Maybe a golden crown?

 

No, that is sheepheaded of course,

But sitting in here,

Really does make you wonder,

why it exists?

 

Thoes doors in my mind,

One open,

One closed,

Chapters of my life perhaps?

Copyright © 2011 Freddyness; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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Though there were some editing needed, I did think you captured the lure of the unknown well with just few words. It is the door we all once open.

 

And the 'sheephead', that rose from the poem quite powerfully. I think most people are sheep if not all.

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I agree with Maria that it needs some editing, but the 'soul' of the poem and the essence of the theme was there thumbsupsmileyanim.gif

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On 04/22/2011 04:51 AM, jian_sierra said:
I agree with Maria that it needs some editing, but the 'soul' of the poem and the essence of the theme was there thumbsupsmileyanim.gif
Yeah some of the poem I just couldn't find a more expressive word for it so :/
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Hey Freddy girl, yeah editting blah , but cool work very cool MORE! MORE ! lOVE mARK :wub:

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You took the words straight from my head, and twisted them nasty. Honesty your poem bothered me, bur it wasn't a bad thing :P

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