Trying to... - 5. Trying to Remember

The first thing I feel as I come to is something tickling the underside of my belly. It is a funny realisation as can’t quite see around me, but can feel what is going on. It is a very unnerving sensation, I know who I was, who I still am, I just hadn’t ever realised I could be aware of my surroundings.

If you look in the dashboard, you’ll see my identification. I can almost feel it present there. An unfamiliar sensation, like someone wiping me down, someone I wasn’t familiar with makes me very uncomfortable; almost want to cringe away.

I remember the soft gentle touch of my owner, remember the first time she wiped me down; even before she had a chance to drive me, just because. The people handling me are rough, strong, but careful. I cannot move even if I want to anyway.

‘Hurry up! They’re waiting for her outside.’ A loud voice from somewhere hurry the ministrations of the people around me. Amidst a flurry of activities, with people checking whether all my tyres are screwed on tight, if the fuel tank lid is closed, and if the spare tyre in the boot had been inflated, a boy slides in the driver seat.

Is he my new owner? Did my Mel not want me anymore?

Although I am sad, I have to agree that my luck isn’t all that bad if this boy is my new driver. His touch seems filled with love as he runs gentle fingers all over the dashboard; checking to see if everything is in order. He even refastens the steering wheel cover, maybe it looked a little undone to him, who knows!

He drives me at a very slow speed and I give in to the hum of the engine.

He stops all too soon and hops out of the car, longingly touching the door handle one last time.

‘Goodbye little one,’ he whispers before stepping away.

Little one?

‘Wow! She does look beautiful in Silver. What do you think, Will?’

That voice... It is... familiar somehow.

Someone opens the door and adjusts the driver’s seat pushing it back to accommodate a taller person.

‘Yes it does,’ another voice, another unfamiliar touch: almost cold; I feel someone getting in from the passenger side. ‘Let’s get going, Scott! What the hell are you doing?’

Scott?

‘Relax, Will. I just want to make sure everything is fine. She was almost crushed less than a month back, remember?’ Scott goes around me, checking little bits of things, adjusting the side mirrors, wiping off almost a non-existent fleck of dust from the rear window. By the time he finally slides in to seat and fires up my engine, the other guy, Will, is bouncing his knee in impatience.

‘Let’s get you home, bud!’ Scott whispers and I within moments I can feel the asphalt against my tyres.

... think you can love me and leave me to die...

‘Jeeeesus!’ Will slaps the controls to the radio and twists the volume knob almost painfully.

‘Go easy, will you?’ Scott reaches over and gently smacks his hand away from it, switching the radio off properly.

‘They were listening to a rock station? At that volume? No wonder they crashed!’

‘She didn’t crash, Will, she was run over. You know that very well,’ Scott takes a deep breath. ‘Look can we not talk about it; I am still getting over it.’

‘Sure, but why are you taking the car back to her? Wouldn’t it just be too painful for her? I mean...’

‘Maybe,’ Scott cuts him off. ‘Look, she just lost her voice, not her hearing and neither her mind. She said she wants her car back and she will have it; she’s had this car since she was seventeen. I can understand the sentiment.’

Lost her voice? Who? What’s going on?

‘Will she ever be able to... you know, talk?’ It’s the first time I hear some sort of compassion in Will’s voice. I was seriously beginning to dislike him.

‘No,’ Scott chokes up. ‘When she was flung forwards, the glass injured her throat. Doctors say she is lucky that she is still alive, that the glass cut her larynx and not her artery. I...’

‘Shhhh, it’s okay Scott. It will be better, soon.’

‘Mel was the only one that was hurt so bad that day, how is that fair?’ I can hear the tears in Scott’s voice. But, I can’t dwell on that...

Mel was injured, I got into an accident and she was hurt. And she still wants me back! Could anyone blame me for loving such a person so much?

‘Anyway, she said she wants her baby Silver now.’ Scott chuckles softly, gently running his fingers across the window frame. ‘So, here we are, as good as new again.’

‘Is she home now?’

‘Nope, she will stay with me till she finds a better place to live in. Somewhere closer.’

He pulls into a multi storey car park and I am almost dizzy at the sharp turns.

‘Look, there she is!’ Scott exclaims, a definite smile in his voice.

‘Just as crazy as her older brother!’ Will mutters, his voice lacking any trace of humour.

If I thought Scott’s touch was gentle, if I had felt like he loved me, it was nothing compared to when I felt a pair of eager, soft hands touch over my hood. Mel! Scott has yet to turn of the engine, and I know that Mel’s hands were feeling the heat, it cannot be comfortable, but there was no indication of it as I felt her going around me, making sure what she saw was real.

I have never felt anything stronger than the love I feel for her now, now when she is sitting on the driver’s seat that seems like it has been designed for her; her forehead resting on the steering wheel, as she kisses me. I was home.

Tell me if this idea works... Hope a few questions are answered.