Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
A Hero in the Hallways - 3. Chapter 3
Part three: Wait
Chapter Nine
He ran away from me. I ran after him but I couldn't reach him. He just ran faster. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. "Michael!” I yelled. He disappeared.
"Come’ John. Come for me," he yelled, somewhere ahead.
I was out of breath and I was sweating. I began to cough and doubled over. From behind, somebody grabbed me.
"Got ya," the person said.
"No!" I screamed.
"John! Wake up. Wake up." I wake to see Mel standing before me. She looks worried. "John, how long have you been having nightmares?"
"I haven't. This one seemed so real. I was chasing Michael, but he got away from me. Then somebody grabbed me from behind and said ‘gotcha.’"
Mel sits next to me. "I looked at your book. Why did you stop at the part where Charlie hit you?"
"I had to take a break. It's exhausting. All the information needs to be processed in my mind."
"Like Craig?"
"Yeah, Like Craig." I want to see him. I need to apologize to him.” I always push him away. He used to call every day, but I never answered the phone. Maybe he was just trying to be there for me.
"Well John, that is going take a lot from you."
"He's mad at me, isn't he?"
"No. Well, let's just say he's a little disappointed in you."
"I was such a jerk to him. I guess I'd be mad also."
"No honey, he's not mad. When you had your accident he was at the hospital for days until they let him see you. When he saw that you didn't remember him his heart broke. He went away for a while. He called you every day, and sent you letters, but you never answered him. When he got back he just wasn't the same, you see. He was like a totally different person. He wouldn't talk to any of us. Meghan had to literally break down his door to get him to speak."
"I did this."
"Honey, trust me, he doesn't blame you. He understands. He just needs to believe you’re there for him too."
I am overwhelmed. Every day I learn something new; a new tidbit of information that throws my whole life out of whack. Hearing about Craig makes me feel guilty. I know deep down I had done this.
"Do you think they like Italian food? It's the only thing I know how to make well."
"They?" I ask.
"Yeah. Meghan is bringing her boyfriend. You know, you introduced them."
"Who is her boyfriend?"
"His name is Aaron."
"And how do I know him?" I ask as she smiles.
"I need to go to the store for some stuff you don't have. Like food. Do you know where the closest market is?" she completely avoiding my question. She does that quite often.
"You don't have to leave just order it from the store. They deliver."
"God, you are lazy. I never asked you to come with me, just where the store is."
"It's two blocks south. Just ask Randy to point you in that direction."
"Wow, what a gentleman."
"I just don't feel like going out."
"It's alright John. I was just teasing ya."
After Mel leaves, the dream drifts into my thoughts again. It felt so real. I knew that voice. "Gotcha," It repeats over and over in my mind. How do I know that voice?
The phone rings, and knocks me out of my thoughts.
"Hello." No one answers. I just heard hard breathing on the other end. "Who is this?" Again no one answers. This happened at least once a week.
I hung up and dialed my parents’ number. The phone rings three times before my father picks up.
"Hello."
"Hi dad; it's John."
"Hey, I just saw you on the television. Mom taped it. You were great."
"Thanks dad. Um, I have a question to ask you," I said, in hopes that he can give me an answer.
"Go ahead, John."
"Do you know Craig's phone number?" He's quiet for a while. When he finally does speak he asks me a question himself.
"John, are you sure you are ready for that?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well he's been through a lot. I think that maybe you should wait. Listen, I know that's the last thing you want to hear, but trust me son. You’d do good to wait."
My father is somebody I can always trust. I know that whatever he said was right. " I guess you’re right, dad."
"You know, we are always here for you. Remember that."
"I know dad, thanks," I said. I want to talk to Craig more than anything and all I find is another wall blocking me.
"Hey, how’s your new book coming along?"
"To tell you the truth, I haven't written in a while," I tell him.
"Oh well, that's OK. I think you have a lot on your plate right now. Just ride it out and then go back; things will pour out of your mind."
"Thanks dad."
"You’re welcome. Do you want to talk to mom?"
"No, that's OK. I'll call tomorrow. I have to fix up the place a little."
"I'll see ya," he said before hung up. The phone rang again.
"Hello."
"Hi john," said a cold voice on the other end.
"Who is this?"
"Don't you know?"
"How would I know who this is?" I answer nervously as her voice scares me. I had heard from another author that he had been stalked by a fan.
"You said you started to read the book. I saw you on TV. You said that."
"Who is this?"
"Oh, don't act like you don't know me John! I know you know me. Be careful; I might just come back and get you again. You ruined my life twice, John. It won't happen again."
"Helene?"
"Oh, now you know me."
"You are crazy!" I yelled.
"Yeah, that's what they say," she says, seemingly amused.
"Helene, you need help. Don't call here anymore."
"John, I am close. Just a matter of time before. . .," I never got to hear her finish. Mel disconnected my phone. I didn't even hear her come in.
"She can’t do anything John. Don't worry about her."
"I wonder how she got my number.”
“She must have found it on the Internet," she says, handing me a grocery bag. "I mean, she's known to be very informed."
"That's scary."
"Hey, why don't you go read and I'll fix dinner." I walk away with a chilling thought: What if she really can get to me?
Chapter Ten
From Hallway Hero
You know, you are never really sure what you can do, until you are tested. I thought about that when I saw him on the ground, asking me to stop. When he hit me everything I had been holding inside concentrated and exploded. He only hit me once before I went at it; punch after punch until he went down. When he asked me to stop, I got angrier. Every time I hit him I tasted revenge.
"John, stop, please," he yelled.
"No!" I yelled before I kicked him. "You want to fucking hit me."
"John, please stop; I'm sorry," he said, trying to move away. There were a few students watching and I could see the principal heading our way with a security guard.
"Fuck you!" I yelled, louder this time, before I kicked him again. I walked away and headed out of the school.
I was angry. I wanted to kill him. I was angry with myself. I had never been that angry in my life. I got into my car and drove to the cliff. My cell phone was ringing, but I didn't answer it. Right as I arrived at the cliff, my cell rang again. It was Megan, but I didn't want to talk to her. I walked over and stood on the ledge. This place was my sanity.
"Hey," Craig said from behind me.
I turned towards him and broke down in his arms. "I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it." He just held me tighter and let me cry.
"I know John, its OK; I'm here."
The next day at school I was escorted to the principals office. I saw Charlie sitting outside. He had a black eye and several cuts on his face, along with a split lip. He looked like shit. He scowled at me.
"What, you want more?"
"Fuck you, John," he yelled back before the security guard pulled me into the principals office.
The principal was mad, and I could tell by the look on his face that his anger was directed straight at me. "John I do not know what to do with you. What did you promise me?"
I just stared at him.
"You promised me that you wouldn't fight again. I can’t have that in my school, John. I have to suspend you. I wouldn't have done it, because it was provoked, but you left the school and that's an automatic suspension. John, I really thought you were better than that. I am disappointed."
To hear my boyfriend’s father say that about me hurt. I guess I let my pain get the better of me.
"Now leave, and don't come back until next week."
I glared at Charlie as I left his office. I hated him. I visualized my hands around his neck, strangling him.
I spent the next week at home. My parents had decided that I couldn't leave the house. Craig wasn't allowed to come over, because he was also suspended. Meghan brought my homework to me everyday after school.
My father took me outside one afternoon after dinner. He wanted to talk. I was nervous because my father never did this.
"John, don't tell your mother, but I am proud of you. I thought that, just because you were gay, you couldn't defend yourself. I was afraid you would be hurt. When your school called me to tell me you had been in a fight, I was afraid. I was ready to go bust some heads, but when I heard what you did, I was ready to cheer. I'm glad that you are a man, and I am glad that you are my son."
"Aw dad, you’re going to make me cry."
"Well, maybe three quarters of a man," he said, then laughed as he hugged me.
"Hey."
"You’re my boy and, from what I hear, Craig can also throw a mean punch. I guess I really don't have to worry about you," he said, and then we walked back inside. I loved my parents, and things like what my father just said made me feel like one of the luckiest guys on earth.
My mother just smiled at me when she saw me getting along with my father, like she knew I was lucky to have them. My parents were great weren't they? I wondered how they got so cool.
On the second day of my suspension Mel came to my door. She nervously waited until I opened the door. "Oh John," she said, reaching for me. She stopped when she realized she didn't have that privilege anymore.
"What do you want, Mel?"
"I came to talk."
I really didn't want to talk to her but something told me that I should.
"Why? Mel, we aren't friends anymore and I don't think we can be." I stopped when I saw Michael, outside, sitting on the hood of his car crying."
"What happened?"
"I was suspended," she said uncomfortably.
"Why?"
"I tried to kill Helene."
I smiled at the thought of Mel trying to choke Helene. As much as I hated them, I had to admit that they were trying to be my friends again. "Come in, Mel," I looked at Michael and signaled him to come in too.
"So why did you try to kill Helene?"
"She told Charlie about you and that guy."
My face turned red. Helene had gone too far. "His name is Craig."
"We just wanted to know if you were OK," Michael added.
"I'm alright. I can fend for myself."
"John, we wanted to apologize. We want things to be the way they were."
"I accept your apology, but I don't think I," I stopped when I saw Michael about to cry again, and Mel looked like she was about to break also. I started to cry, and through my tears I squeezed out, "I miss you, I really do, but I cant."
Mel walked out the door. Michael just stood there looking at me. "You can't do this John. Mel is lost. She blames herself for what you went through. She cries herself to sleep at night because she knows what you have to deal with."
"Michael I can't. If I do, I lose," I said, a little surprised at the honesty.
"If you do, you gain friends. You gain friends who would stand by you; friends that you will never lose again. We need you John. She needs you."
To tell you the truth, I needed them. They were real friends, but the fact that they betrayed me for selfish reasons still stung in my mind. Would I have done the same thing if I was forced to do it? I probably would have, but the fact that they tried to make things right spoke for the type of friends they are.
"Wait here a moment," I said, as I headed out of the house. I ran down the street where I saw Mel walking. "Mel, wait up," I yelled but she just kept on walking. I ran up until I caught up to her.
"Mel, I'm sorry."
She looked at me for a long time. "John, I am poor. I'm poor. Helene told everyone because I wouldn't help her break you and Craig up."
"It's alright, Mel, It's okay," I said hugging her.
"No John, It's not. You don't understand. I have nothing. I don't even have a house. Helene made sure of that. They kicked us out, and my mother left town with some guy and left me here alone."
I wanted to go and kill Helene. "Mel, you can stay with me. Does Michael know?"
"No, he doesn't. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. He doesn't know anything."
"You know, Mel, you have to let him in."
She nodded, and we walked back hand in hand. "He really likes you. I can see it in his eyes, and I know you like him back." They gave each other the same Gaze Craig and I gave each other.
She smiled "I like him John; I think I'm in love with him but, with everything that's been going on, I just couldn't do anything."
"It's alright now, Mel. Let’s go tell Michael."
My parents were furious about the situation and notified the cops about Mel's mother. They set her up in one of the guest rooms, and welcomed her with open arms like she was their daughter. They were awesome.
My relationship with Craig couldn't be better. Deep inside I felt that, without him, I was not complete. I needed to do one more thing to make it right.
I opened the door to his office. He was on the phone, but he motioned me to sit. I waited patiently and nervously for him to finish.
"So John, what can I do for you," he said coldly, while reading the papers he picked up from the desk.
"I need to speak with you about some things."
He stopped reading and looked at me. "Go ahead."
"I want to apologize for breaking that promise. I need to feel that you are I are OK, sir, and not just because you are my principal. I want to think of you as a friend and as family. You see, you brought Craig back into my life and I want to thank you for that."
He walked around his desk and hugged me. "John, we are good. I already think of you as family. Craig never smiled before you guys got together. He was afraid of being himself, because of what that school did to him. John, I'm glad you're in his life because, when you are with him, he is himself. He needs you John."
"I know, sir." He smiled at me, and I smiled back; it felt good. We were square, and it made my relationship with Craig valid.
Craig and I spent several afternoons at the cliff just enjoying watching the waves hit the rocks. He still counted the time in-between wave crashes.
"Do you think we'll last for ever?" Craig asked me.
"I don't know. I just hope we enjoy the time we do spend together."
He seemed to take what I said to heart, and we sat in silence as the sun set. The drive home was also silent, and we kissed as we reached my house.
"Someday we'll be old, and I hope we'll still be together. I hope you love me as much as I love you."
"You know I love you. Someday that might change but, at this moment, that isn't likely," I said. He nodded and then he kissed me again. I smiled as he drove away. Life was perfect. Little did I know, at that time, that Helene was brewing her most vicious plot.
Michael and Mel got closer and saw each other more and more as the weeks flew by. Craig and I were inseparable again. Megan was like a pillar of strength between all of us. She and Mel also got close.
The school situation was getting tougher for all of us. The dream team now had their hands full tormenting us all except Eddie. He seemed to hold back when they all yelled at us. They even started on Meghan. Michael seemed to take it the hardest, and not just about himself. Every time they would taunt Mel about being poor, he got angry. I would try to calm him down, but it was of no use. Eventually he broke.
He started skipping school and just avoiding everyone, and that took a toll on all of us. Mel didn't know what to do. He would go out of his way to avoid her the most. We would go days without talking. Mel always came home crying. I tried to confront him about it, but he said he was fine.
It came to the point where we just didn't see him anywhere but in school. I wondered if Helene had something to do with him being like this. I saw him sitting alone, by a tree, at lunch.
"Michael," I called out as I approached him.
"Hey," he answered back.
"How have you been?"
He didn't answer.
I was getting annoyed. "You know, for somebody that used guilt to get me to be their friend again, you are not doing a good job of keeping up your end."
"And what is that supposed to be, a joke John? You don't know anything."
"How could I know if you don't tell me?"
"I like her John, but I can't date her. My parents know, John. Helene made sure they knew she was poor. They don't want me near someone like that."
"What about the punk kids in your band? You hang around with them don't you?"
"No, John, I dropped out of the band."
"Then tell me Michael. Make me understand. Tell me."
He nodded as tears left his eyes. "John, I'm sick. I'm dying."
The world stopped. My heart gave out. "How long have you known?"
"A couple of weeks. I want to be there for her John. I need to be." I walked over to him and gave him a huge hug. "I don't want her to suffer over me, John. I don't want her to be in pain."
It could never get better could it? We could never win.
Chapter Eleven
From Hallway Hero
“I walk through the school, careless. I don't care anymore. Nothing matters. I am going to lose my best friend. I am losing a brother. Helene couldn't be happier. She got what she wanted. I’ve lost everything at her hands. It’s gotten so bad that people have stopped making fun of me. I am now considered one of the invisible kids. Nobody notices me. Few even consider me to be alive. In some ways, I am not alive. Not without you." I read the letter to myself before I put it in his locker.
Craig had left me. Helene made sure of that. It was the final step she had to take. She had exacted her revenge. I am now nothing compared to her. She won, and I lost. I understood that, and I began to believe that I deserved it.
Between Michael and Mel I felt like a third wheel. I felt like I was stealing the little time they had left. Who was I to do that? I took comfort from my parents. They were very supportive, and even offered to switch me to another school district.
I looked at his locker one last time before I walked away. I won’t see him again. Helene had ambushed me. She sent Charlie to kiss me, as I was waiting for Craig at the end of the school day. He saw us, and broke up with me. He was so heartbroken I couldn't face him myself.
I walked out to the car where my parents were waiting. I was going to start at a new school the next town over. Nobody at school was informed except Mr. Peterson. Mel and Michael were the only people who knew. I saw Craig as we drove away. He saw me, and then turned away.
"Don't worry honey, he'll come back," my mother said. I couldn't find comfort in her words. "I'm sure deep down he knows it's not your fault."
"I never told him about Dominick," I said to myself.
I was in a new world; in a new state of mind. I made new friends easily at my new school. I was popular once again. This time, however, I didn't hide my true self from anyone. They knew. I made sure of that. I, however, was now a cold person. I could not care less about other people and what they thought of me.
I was never happy, and I very rarely showed emotion that would suggest that I was even approachable. I guess you could say I sort of grew up; I survived Helene. I survived her malicious acts of deceit and revenge. She had won and completely erased my miserable existence from her life
I made friends with David. We shared several classes. We became good friends. He was relentless about getting me to open up. I just couldn't; it was in the past and I had to keep it there.
I got to know his girlfriend, too. Her name was Sheryl. We always hung out together. I told them nothing. As far as they were concerned, I was just this quiet gay kid who had little to say. They tried endlessly to hook me up with some people, but I was too gun shy to date.
"You know, one day you will find a guy that will have you head over heals, and what then?" David asked. "Are you going to let him get away?" If he only knew.
"I'm just not in that state of mind," I said hoping he would change the subject.
"Well, when you think you are ready, let me know. I know a few guys that are ready to jump on your head, so to speak."
Great. Now he was making me blush. At least he tried. Sheryl wasn't as discreet. She always made sure I talked to the other kids in class. She dragged me around like a rag doll, from class to class, making sure I knew all the cute guys.
"John, if you don't meet them then they will never know you exist," she said as I protested.
"I don't want to date any of these guys, Sheryl!"
'Nonsense. Everybody wants a hot date," she said, dragging me to the next guy.
I went to a party that David threw at his house. I was quickly handed a cup of beer when I walked through the front door.
"Here, John, you need this more than I do. Say hello to some people and please, for the life of me, have some fun tonight," David said, pulling me into the house. "Hey everyone, this is my good friend Jonathan. Say hello to him and make him feel at home. If you see his cup empty, please fill it," he yelled to everybody in his house.
The house wasn't that big; I noticed when I tried to hide. He didn't have everything I had, but that never stopped him from having a good time. His friends all greeted me, one by one. I struck up a conversation with some kid I had met before, and watched as some other kids tried to play a game of drunken twister. I was enjoying myself. These people didn't come with the pretentious bullshit that the kids from my town came with; they were just having fun.
I was sitting on a couch, a little buzzed, when some kid came and sat next to me. "Do you remember me?" he said, handing me another cup of beer.
I looked closely at his face, but I didn’t recognize him. "No. Am I supposed to?"
"We used to be friends, a couple of years ago. I was dropped from the pack because I was friends with some of the skater kids. I moved here about a year ago. It's Aaron, John."
I knew who he was. He was, at one time, a close friend.
"Aaron! Wow, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you."
"Yeah, people never recognize you when you get better looking," he said jokingly. "But seriously, what brings you to good ole Dave's house?"
"Well, that is a long story, one that I'm not sure I'm ready to share."
"They don't know, do they?"
I nodded. "I'm not sure how to tell them. I'm happy here. I can't change that, not now."
"I understand more than you know. Trust me. I used to think that life only consisted of what I wore, what I drove, and who I talked to. That was until I met the new love of my life, skate boarding. Here life is different. I don't have to go out of town to skateboard."
"I like it here," I said looking down at my cup.
"But?" He added.
"I miss them."
"Look at those people out there. They all look happy, don't they?" I nodded. "Deep inside, some of them have real problems. Some of them are shit poor, but they fit in the group because they are truly good people."
"I never understood that before."
"At Lake Side there is nothing to understand. That will never change. They need to feel better than other people to give value to their miserable lives. Do you know why they kicked me out? Or should I say why Eddie kicked me out?"
"Because you skated with the skaters."
"Yeah, that was the piece of gossip they used. But it's not the reason they kicked me out. Eddie kicked me out because I was going to tell people that he tried to rape me. He waited for me in the locker room after practice. He was in the showers when I went in. He waited until I was done and then came up behind me. He tackled me, and then tried to get on me. I felt his dick near my ass and I panicked. I knew what he wanted. I somehow managed to turn over and I kneed him in the balls. I ran away."
"Oh my God, did you tell anyone?"
"No. I was too afraid. I ran home in my towel. I went straight to my room. I just lay in bed and cried myself to sleep. The next time I went to school they had spread that rumor. I no longer belonged. I was erased."
I told him my story. He listened. I told him about Meatball and her cousin. I told him about Mel and Michael. I even told him about Craig and me. He just listened intently as I talked. I had never told anyone the complete story. At some point David and Sheryl came in and sat by me as I told him my story. I started to cry when I began to speak of Craig. Sheryl held me as I told them about how long I waited for him and how I lost him.
"God, I'm sorry Dave. I didn't mean to ruin your party," I said, a little embarrassed.
"John, honestly, I'm glad you felt you could tell us about your life."
They all smiled and waved to me as Aaron walked me to my car. "Hey John, listen, if you ever need anybody to talk to call me, I'll always be here?" he said handing me a piece of paper with his phone number in it. "I mean it. I'd like to be a good friend to you again."
"I will, Aaron, I will," I said, before I got in my car. I waved at him and drove away. It felt as If a huge weight had been lifted of my shoulders. I had told them everything, and they had understood me. They didn't walk away; they stayed and listened.
I came to realize a few things at this new school. The first is that people can be nice. I came here thinking people were going to hate me, that they were going to treat me the same way people treated me at the other school. They didn't. The second thing I learned is that there is always something unexpected around the corner. Every day, here, something surprised me. Sometimes there are good things; sometime there are bad things.
Aaron and I got real close. He and I were inseparable while at school. Our friendship was easy. We knew where we both stood, and we didn't need to hide anything from each another. You could say that it was boring, but I preferred it that way.
Winter was coming. The nights were getting longer. I liked it that way. I love the snow. When I was younger Craig and I would spend the day sledding or having snow fights.
Aaron invited me to go up to his cabin. He had invited a few of the kids from school, including Dave and Sheryl. Aaron and I started a fire as everyone started to arrive. Sheryl made hot chocolate for all of us.
"Let’s play Truth or Dare," Aaron shouted, as we all crowded around the fire.
"Who wants to go first?" I asked.
Dave sighed, and volunteered. "Truth or dare?" Aaron asked.
"Truth," Dave answered.
"Is it true that you have a crush on John?" I began to blush, and he turned pale. "NO! I mean I don't have a crush on John," he yelled back rather quickly. "It's your turn now Aaron. Truth or dare?" he said forcedly."
"I choose dare."
"Okay, I dare you to run out in the cold, naked, and roll around in the snow."
Aaron quickly stood up and took off his shirt, pants and shoes. He ran out the door. We followed him. "Here, I almost forgot these," he said, handing me his boxer shorts. I, however, wasn't paying attention to the shorts but to the massive thing between his legs. He got down on the snow and began to roll. I was transfixed by his dick as he turned his body left and right; left and right, left and right.
"John, like what you see?" Sheryl whispered into my ear.
"Uh huh," I mumbled back, as I began to drool.
Aaron ran back in, snatching his boxers from my hand. He quickly dressed and we resumed the game. Sheryl ended up admitting to having had sex in her parents’ car, and I ended up eating three raw eggs that made another appearance as I threw them up.
'That's the last time I pick dare over truth," I said, as Aaron held my head up over the toilet.
"Come on, where’s your sense of fun?"
"I think it went down with the flush."
"Listen, I have to go to the store and get some stuff. Do you want to come with me?"
"Sure, I could use the fresh air."
As I got in his car I noticed some apprehension coming from him. He nervously got in the car. He looked at me and quickly turned away. "Aaron, is there something wrong?" I asked. He turned to me, then leaned in close and kissed me.
"I’ve never kissed a guy before," Aaron said to me as we finished. "I mean, not that I didn't want to, but I just couldn't until I met you," he said to me, as I woke up from the dream I was having.
"I can’t believe you fell asleep in the car. That must have been a good dream," He said.
"What? Why?"
"Because you have a massive hard on between your legs," he said, as we pulled into the driveway. "Hey why don't you take a minute to get adjusted and then come in, OK?"
I walked up to the door and heard whispering. Somebody said my name. I heard Sheryl say "Shut up, he's right outside." I didn't like this. They were talking about me. I burst through the door ready to bust some heads.
"Surprise!" They all yelled at me. I was totally lost for words.
"Happy birthday, John," said Sheryl as she hugged and kissed me.
"Happy birthday John," a familiar voice said from behind me. I turned to see who it was. It was Craig.
- 2
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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