Alex and Zach - 11. Chapter 11

Zach slowly rose, trying to keep from waking Alex as he crawled out of the bed. He glanced briefly at Alex and then stumbled through the dark towards the door. Alex opened his eyes, silently watching as Zach navigated in the dark. Alex sighed once Zach had left the room. This same scene had been going on for several days now and Alex was getting a little tired of it.

Alex sighed again as he remembered last Saturday. The night had been so special. It had been even more special since Zach had led the way. That had really surprised Alex. But it surprised Alex even more when a few hours after the two of them had drifted off to sleep Zach had quietly gotten out of bed and stumbled his way into the living room. Alex had waited a few minutes for Zach to return to bed thinking he had just gotten up to get a drink or something. After a few more minutes passed Alex realized Zach wasn’t returning to bed and he got up to find out what Zach was doing.

Alex had fumbled his way out of bed and silently padded his way into the living room. Once there, he found Zach sitting on the couch just staring straight at the walls, his expression one of deep concentration. "Zach? Are you Ok?" Alex asked quietly.

Zach jumped slightly at the sound of Alex’s voice. "Yeah," he answered quietly, distantly. "I just couldn’t sleep so I got up. I didn’t mean to wake you."

Alex crossed the room and reached down to rub Zach’s shoulders. At Alex’s touch Zach flinched slightly and started shivering. "You’re freezing out here. Why don’t you come back to bed? We can just talk for awhile."

Zach turned slightly and half-smiled at Alex. "No, you go ahead. There’s no reason for both of us to lose sleep. I’ll just sit out here and think for awhile."

Alex hesitated for a few seconds but finally gave up. "All right Zach. If you get sleepy come back to bed. Don’t worry about waking me up." Alex leaned down and kissed Zach’s forehead goodnight and couldn’t help noticing Zach’s slight flinch. Alex quietly padded back to their room knowing that Zach wouldn’t be returning to bed that night. Alex had remained awake a long time after returning to bed worrying over Zach.

And now it was nearly a week later and nothing had been resolved. Zach was still distant and quiet and seemed to almost be avoiding Alex. Alex was a little surprised that Zach was still sharing his bed with him, not that they were doing anything in it. And not that Zach was sleeping there. Zach always got up a few hours after they went to bed and went out to the living room to just stare at the walls. Alex wasn’t even sure if Zach was sleeping at all.

Alex stayed awake for the rest of the night trying to figure out what to do about Zach. Alex knew that Zach was struggling with the events of the previous Saturday, trying to get a grip on the changes it had wrought in his life. He just wished Zach would talk to him about it.

Finally the alarm clock went off and Alex rolled over turning it off and got up for the day. At least it was Thursday, only one more day till the weekend, and Zach would have to face him for two days since he wouldn’t have class or tutoring to run away to. Alex quickly showered and dressed and went out to the living room to greet Zach just to find that Zach had already left for the day.

"Damn!" Alex said quietly and then made his way into the kitchen to eat breakfast. Alex started laughing as soon as he got in there. Zach had remembered to set out his Captain Crunch for him and that little gesture melted away his irritation. Alex quickly scarfed down his cereal and rinsed out his bowl. Then he grabbed his books and headed out for the day.

Alex had plenty of time before his first class so he was walking at a very leisurely pace. His mind naturally drifted towards Zach as he walked towards the main campus. Alex had no idea how to break through to Zach this time and that was frustrating to the point that Alex wanted to howl. Why couldn’t Zach just open up to him? Why couldn’t Zach just talk to him about what was bothering him?

Alex noticed Cindy coming up behind him and stopped to wait for her to catch up. "Hey Alex!" Cindy said as she approached. "You’re getting an early start aren’t you?"

"Yeah," Alex answered. "I couldn’t sleep last night so I went ahead and got ready for the day. Zach was already gone so I didn’t have any reason to hang around the house either."

"It’s kinda early for Zach too," Cindy said thoughtfully. "I know his classes start earlier than yours, but I didn’t think his classes started this early."

"They don’t," Alex replied. "He left early to avoid me. He’s been doing it all week."

"I see," Cindy said slowly and thoughtfully. "What happened?"

Alex grimaced. "We, uh, we kinda took our relationship to the next level," Alex answered a little embarrassed.

Cindy smiled at Alex’s embarrassment. "So the two of you finally had sex. I take it everything didn’t go exactly as planned."

"No, we didn’t exactly have sex," Alex answered, blushing even more. "Um, we, uh, it was just, uh, oral."

Cindy laughed softly. "Well, that’s still sex Alex. It’s called oral sex you know. So Zach didn’t react well to it? He wasn’t ready yet?"

"No." Alex answered shaking his head in denial. "Zach was the one who initiated it. And it was really great! Um, I mean…shit! You know what I mean Cindy!" Alex blushed again. "And Zach seemed to really be into it too. But then Zach started pulling back later that same night. He didn’t even stay the night in bed with me. He got up and went out to the living room. And ever since then we’ll go to bed together, but then a couple hours later he’ll get up and go out to the living room."

Cindy smiled sympathetically at Alex. "Alex, you have to understand Zach. He’s just a little freaked right now. He’s beginning to realize that he needs you. And he’s never needed anyone before. Zach would never let himself need anyone before. And the fact that he loves you and needs you has got to be terrifying to him. He doesn’t know how to react to that. I’m actually a little surprised that he’s still sleeping in the same bed with you. I really would have expected him to withdraw further than that."

Alex sighed. "So what do I do now? I’ve been wracking my brains trying to figure out how to get him to talk to me about it and I’ve got nothing. How do I get Zach to come around?"

Cindy smiled again. "You keep on doing what you’ve been doing all along Alex. You ignore his pulling away and just treat him as if nothing is different. Eventually Zach will figure out that you’re not gonna run away. Actually, it probably wont take him that long. I’m guessing he’s already half way there since he’s stayed in your bed."

"I hope you’re right Cindy," Alex replied. "I don’t want to scare him and push him even farther away than he already is. Thanks for talking with me Cindy."

"Anytime Alex." Cindy hugged Alex in parting. "I’m always there for my two favorite guys! I’ll see ya later."

The rest of the day seemed to drag for Alex. He couldn’t concentrate in his classes. He tried to take notes and got totally lost. At one point, he even went to the wrong class. All he could think of was the problem with Zach.

Finally, classes were over and Alex headed back home. On the way, Alex decided he would take Cindy’s advice and just act like everything was normal while he was with Zach. After all, she had been right about everything else so far. She had known Zach a lot longer than he had.

Alex opened the door and saw Zach sitting on the couch reading. Deciding there was no time like the present to start with his plan, Alex assumed a smile. "Hey Zach," Alex said as he put down his books. "How was your day? Man! I got to take a piss!" Alex passed by Zach and paused and kissed him on the cheek before heading on towards the bathroom.

Alex could see Zach’s confusion but ignored it as he walked into the bathroom. "Have you thought about what you want for supper?" Alex asked Zach.

"Huh?" Zach replied, confused by Alex’s actions.

"I asked what do you want to eat for supper?" Alex said as he finished peeing. "I’m really hungry."

"Supper?" Zach asked. "What?" Zach still hadn’t caught up.

Alex stuck his head around the door smiling at Zach. "Supper. You know, that meal we eat in the evening. Shortly before we go to bed. Have you thought about what you want?"

"Uh…no," Zach replied still trying to comprehend what was happening.

Alex finished up in the bathroom and came back out into the living room. He stood behind Zach and rubbed his shoulders for a few minutes. "I suppose we could go to the dining hall, but I’m really not in the mood for that slop. And the thought of fast food doesn’t really get me all excited either."

Zach turned and looked at Alex for a few seconds, a confused look still on his face. Then a slow, shy smile spread across his face. "Why don’t I cook something?"

Alex stopped rubbing Zach’s shoulders in surprise. "You know how to cook?" he asked. "I didn’t know that. Do we even have anything to cook?"

Zach laughed at Alex. "No, we probably don’t. I’ll run to the store and pick up something."

"Let me grab a shower and I’ll go with you," Alex said.

"No," Zach answered. "I want to surprise you. Go grab your shower and then start your homework. I’ll be back in a bit and after we eat, I’ll help you with your homework." Zach kissed Alex. "Go shower. You reek!"

Alex started laughing and kissed Zach again before Zach could make it out the door. Zach started to turn to leave, paused, and then turned back and kissed Alex again, this time deeply and passionately causing Alex to catch his breath. Zach finally pulled away and grinned at Alex before heading out the door. Alex couldn’t believe how much of change had come over Zach in such a short time. Alex thought to himself that he would have to remember to do something nice for Cindy!

Alex headed towards the bathroom and quickly stripped to take a shower. As he pulled off his boxers, Alex’s erect dick slapped him in the stomach. Alex looked down at himself in amusement and his dick twitched again. "Geeze! It was just a kiss. Down boy!" Alex laughed at himself.

Alex jumped in the shower and started soaping himself down. Running the slippery soap over his body was doing nothing to lessen his state of arousal. In fact, his entire body was beginning to tingle as his hands ran over his wet skin. Alex began thinking once again about that final kiss Zach had given him before leaving and he felt his dick throb. Alex’s dick twitched once again as his fingers grazed along his shaft and his entire body shuddered. "Oh shit!" Alex groaned to himself.

Alex closed his eyes and wrapped his hand around his throbbing dick, slowly stroking the entire length while the warm water cascaded over his body. His other hand began roaming over his chest and stomach, slowly rubbing his super charged body. Alex could feel his balls trying to draw up on their chords and he dropped his hand down to massage them while he continued stroking his dick. Alex’s started stroking faster as he felt his orgasm building. With one final stroke, his body trembling, Alex began shooting long streaks across his stomach and chest.

Alex stood under the warm water for several more minutes, just letting it wash over him. Slowly, awareness returned and Alex opened his eyes shaking his head slightly. Alex grinned to himself and continued with his shower.

Alex finished up his shower and turned off the water. He got out of the shower, waving a little at the billowing clouds of steam and wrapped a towel around himself. Alex looked at himself in the mirror for a second or two, frowning a little at the total lack of facial hair. He quickly brushed his hair into some semblance of order and started towards the bedroom. As he was exiting the bathroom, the phone started ringing and Alex changed course to pick up the phone.

"Alex and Zach’s Dungeon of Horror," Alex answered. "Dungeon Master Alex speaking. How may I abuse you? Today’s special involves whips and chains."

"Alex," Cindy laughed on the other end. "You are such an idiot!"

"Hey Cindy!" Alex laughed back. "Are you sure you don’t want today’s special?"

"You certainly in a good mood!" Cindy replied.

"Yep!" Alex answered happily. "I took your advice about dealing with Zach and you wouldn’t believe how well it worked! I’m feeling so up right now it’s unbelievable!"

"Hmmm." Cindy laughed. "So you’re up huh? Well, I’m sure Zach will be glad to know everything is still functioning for you! Or did you not mean it that way?"

Alex started laughing really hard. "Well, yeah, I’m that way too!"

"Too much information Alex!" Cindy groaned.

"You asked!" Alex shot back. "So what’s going on?"

"Well, I actually called for Zach," Cindy answered still chuckling. "I wanted to see if he had time to help me with my statistics homework."

"Sorry Cindy," Alex answered. "Zach isn’t here. He’s at the grocery store picking up something to cook tonight."

"Zach is cooking for you?" Cindy asked, a hint of envy entering her voice. "That is so cool! I think I’m big time jealous."

"Yeah it is pretty cool," Alex answered. "I hope I can eat whatever he makes. I don’t want to hurt his feelings."

"Alex," Cindy replied. "Trust me. You’ll be able to eat whatever Zach makes. He’s a great cook. And I mean really, really good! Whatever he makes for you, it’s gonna be fantastic! I wasn’t kidding about being jealous."

"His cooking is really that good?" Alex asked surprised. "Wow!"

"Yeah," Cindy said. "I’ll leave you two alone tonight in case he wants to make it really special. I’ll get someone else to help me with my homework."

"Well," Alex hedged. "I don’t know if you need to go that far. I mean, yeah it’s gonna be special since he is cooking for me, but I don’t know if he is planning on making it intimate or anything. I mean, we just barely started acting normal again. Maybe I’ll just mention that you called but you said it was nothing important. That way, if he is keeping it casual he can call you. If he wants to make it special, he can call you tomorrow."

"Pretty sneaky there Alex," Cindy laughed. "I’ll let you go. You should go work on that being UP problem of yours before Zach gets back."

"Already did that too Cindy!" Alex laughed.

"Way more than I wanted to know!" Cindy laughed. "I’ll talk to you later."

"See ya Cindy," Alex answered. "And thanks!"

Alex hung up the phone and went to his bedroom to get dressed. While he was deciding what to wear, he heard Zach come home. "Hey! I’m home!" Zach yelled out to Alex. "You’re officially banished from the kitchen. I want to surprise you!"

Alex came back out into the living room pulling on a sweatshirt he knew Zach really liked. "You’re not even going to give me a hint?" Alex whined playfully. "I’m starving out here! What are we eating? What are we eating?"

Alex could hear Zach laughing from the kitchen and he was really tempted to peek and see what Zach was cooking, but he decided not to ruin the surprise. Instead, he sat down and started struggling with his homework. Shortly, Alex could smell the most delicious smells and his stomach began growling in anticipation. Alex tried to continue studying, but the scrumptious aromas kept distracting him.

After a few minutes Zach came walking into the living room carrying a sandwich and a glass of milk. Alex looked at the food for a second and then grinning looked at Zach, his eyes sparkling mischievously. "My surprise supper is a sandwich? Oh Zach, you shouldn’t have!"

Zach started laughing. "Dickhead!" he replied. "No, I thought I would be nice and bring you something to tide you over, but now I’m not so sure you deserve it." Zach was grinning as he pretended to turn back towards the kitchen, the food still in hand.

"No! Wait!" Alex yelled. "I’ll be good! I promise!" Alex jumped up and grabbed the sandwich out of Zach’s hand and took a large bite before Zach could grab it back. Zach laughed and went back into the kitchen to finish cooking.

After what seemed like forever, Zach came back into the living room. "It’s ready," Zach announced. "But I’m sure you want to wait a little since you just had a sandwich." Alex’s growling stomach answered for him as he got up and practically ran towards the kitchen. "Damn!" Zach laughed. "Guess you’re hungry after all."

Alex sat down at the table and Zach placed a large salad in front of him and then sat down across from him with his own salad. Alex started eating and was really surprised to find that he liked the salad. Normally he didn’t like lettuce, but the dressing was a sweet Italian and was very good. "Hey!" Alex said with his mouth half full. "This is really good. What brand of dressing is this?"

Zach smiled. "I made it myself," Zach announced, blushing slightly at Alex’s look of surprise. "It’s a pretty easy dressing to make."

"Wow!" Alex answered. "If the salad is this good, I can’t wait till the main course. I guess Cindy was right about your cooking."

"When did you talk to Cindy?" Zach asked a little confused.

"Oh shit Zach!" Alex exclaimed. "I forgot to tell you. Cindy called while you were at the store. She said it wasn’t anything important and that she’d get a hold of you later. That’s when I told her you were cooking and she told me you were really good."

Zach turned a little pink again at the compliment. "Oh," Zach replied. "I’ll give her a quick call. She probably just wants help with her homework. I’ll tell her to come on over." Zach got up and put some more salad in front of Alex and then picked up the phone. Alex continued eating happily, but had to admit to himself that he was a little disappointed that he wasn’t going to be able to keep Zach all to himself.

"Hey Cindy," Alex heard Zach greet Cindy. "Alex said you called." There was a slight pause. "Yeah, we’re eating right now." Another pause. "No, it’s no problem, we’ll be finished by the time you get over here anyway." Zach laughed for a second or two. "Sure, come on over. We’ll see ya in a bit." Zach hung up the phone and walked over towards the stove.

"I was right," Zach said. "Cindy wants help with her stats. Are you ready for the main course?"

Alex took a final bite finishing off his salad and shook his head vigorously. "Ysmph!" he attempted to reply with his mouth full. Alex swallowed hastily, grinning at Zach. "That was suppose to be yes!"

Zach grinned back at Alex and carried over two plates, placing one down in front of Alex. Alex stared in open-mouthed wonder at the food. Zach had made Fettuccini Alfredo with braised chicken breast meat diced on top. On the side of the plate were baby asparagus spears in a light butter sauce. The whole plate of food looked like it had been prepared by a chef for display in a fancy restaurant.

Alex looked at the food for a few moments, the aroma drifting up enticingly around him. He looked up at Zach, his expression stunned. "Wow!" he said again.

Zach smiled at Alex. "You’ve already said that." Zach turned a little pink again under Alex’s scrutiny. "Start eating already! You’re embarrassing me!"

Alex grinned at Zach and took a big bite of the food. "God this is good," Alex exclaimed taking another bite, hardly pausing to chew. Zach started laughing at the gusto with which Alex attacked his food. Alex paused eating long enough to grin at Zach again, and then started shoveling food into his mouth again. In a surprisingly short time Alex’s plate was empty.

"Do you want more?" Zach asked getting up. "I made enough for a small army so there’s plenty and we should even have leftovers."

Alex smiled in pleasure. "Yeah," he answered. "Have you ever known me to turn down food?"

Zach was laughing as he filled Alex’s plate again. "Just save a little bit of room for dessert."

Alex’s eyes brightened. "You made dessert too?" he asked eagerly. "What is it? What did you make? Where is it?"

Zach was laughing really hard at the eagerness in Alex’s voice and Alex turned a little pink in embarrassment. "It’s in the oven keeping warm," Zach answered. "I made an apple pie with a sweet crumb topping and I picked up some vanilla ice cream to go with it."

Alex’s eyes really lit up at that and his stomach growled noisily. Alex glanced down smiling ruefully at his stomach and then joined Zach in laughing. "How did you know apple pie is my favorite?" he asked.

"You’ve mentioned it a time or two," Zach answered smiling. "I figured you deserved a treat for putting up with me all week."

"You need to act like a jerk more often then, if I get apple pie for a reward," Alex said laughing, his eyes sparkling mischievously. Alex quickly finished his second plate of food and sat patiently waiting for the few seconds it took for Zach to catch up.

Zach started laughing as he watched Alex practically bouncing in his chair in anticipation. He quickly cut a large piece of pie for Alex and topped it with a several scoops of ice cream. Zach placed the bowl down in front of Alex and quickly jerked his hands away as Alex started attacking the dessert. "Shit!" Zach exclaimed. "Do I still have all my fingers?" he joked.

Alex grabbed Zach’s hand before he could get away and promptly stuck one of Zach’s fingers in his mouth sucking on it greedily. "You taste even better than the pie," Alex said grinning at Zach, his words a little garbled. Zach started laughing and pulled his finger out of Alex’s mouth.

"I guess that gives new meaning to the phrase eat me," Zach answered playfully. Zach cut another piece of pie and put it in the now empty bowl in front of Alex. He then sat down with his own dessert and started eating it, still watching Alex with a smile on his face. Alex again finished long before Zach and sat watching Zach eat. "Get yourself another piece," Zach said smiling. "You don’t have to watch me eat with those sad puppy dog eyes of yours."

Alex looked at the pie for a few seconds, and then back at Zach. "I shouldn’t," he said to Zach. "I should try and save some for later," Alex said in a regretful tone.

Zach cocked his head slightly, smiling at Alex. "Go ahead and eat it. There’s another pie in the oven for later so you can eat as much as you want."

Alex jumped up at once and started towards the pie. He stopped halfway and then walked back towards Zach. Alex bent down and hugged Zach fiercely and kissed him. "Thanks," Alex said simply, smiling. "In case you haven’t figured it out, I thought everything tasted great. I loved you already, but now I’m definitely going to keep you around!" Alex kissed the blushing Zach again and then went to grab another piece of pie.

As Alex was sitting down, there was a brief knock on the front door immediately followed by Cindy opening it and walking in followed by James. "Hey!" Cindy yelled out. "I brought over a torture victim for Alex and Zach’s dungeon!" Alex started laughing with his mouth full and almost started to choke.

"Hey Cindy! Hey James!" Zach greeted them. "I take it Alex answered the phone using his tired old greeting huh? One of these days we’ll work on his sense of humor. I’m still working on house breaking him."

"Still?" James asked in mock surprise. "Seems to me you’ve been trying to housebreak him since I first met you two. What smells good? Did you two get take out?"

"I haven’t made a puddle in the corner for at least a week now!" Alex answered. "And no, we didn’t get take out. Zach cooked supper for me."

"That’s too cool," James answered. "Beats the hell out of the McDonalds grease special I had."

Zach came walking into the living room and handed two plates of food to Cindy and James. "Here," he said. "Eat. I made enough to feed the entire student body."

"Hey!" Alex protested laughing. "Stop giving out my leftovers! Let them get their own boyfriends to cook for them." Cindy and James both stopped eating looking at Alex in surprise. Zach froze in his tracks on the way back into the kitchen and Alex’s expression turned to one of regret as he realized he just said too much. Alex glanced back at James trying desperately to find some way to fix his mistake. "Uh… I mean, uh…" he trailed off helplessly.

James started laughing softly. "It’s ok guys," he said. "I kinda already knew. The walls aren’t that thick you know. I’m not so dense that I couldn’t figure out what I was hearing." Both Alex and Zach turned bright red at James’ statement and James started laughing even harder at them. Cindy was trying very hard to keep from laughing too, but was failing miserably.

"Shit!" Zach said in embarrassment, his face crimson. Then both he and Alex looked at each other and they started to laugh too.

Cindy walked over to Zach and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek as she handed her empty plate to him. "That was really good," she said grinning. "The food wasn’t bad either." Zach’s face turned even brighter red and he took both Cindy and James’ empty plates out to the kitchen. When he came back into the living room, his face was still a little pink, but fortunately, other than knowing grins directed at him, everyone let the whole subject drop.

Later that night, as Alex and Zach were getting ready for bed, Alex came up from behind and hugged Zach tightly for several minutes. "I’m sorry about earlier," Alex apologized. "I didn’t mean to let James know about us. Sometimes I’ve got a big mouth."

Zach smiled at Alex and kissed him lightly. "Yes you do," he replied. "But it’s ok. I love you anyway. And it all worked out. I guess we’re going to have to start telling a few people anyway, but it kinda shocked me. I wasn’t ready yet, but it’s ok. James is cool with it."

Alex smiled and crawled into bed, holding the covers up for Zach to follow. Zach quickly pulled off his shirt and pants and snuggled up next to Alex. Alex wrapped his arms around Zach, nuzzling softly at his cheek. "Next time throw something heavy at me, ok?" Alex joked. "Knock me out before I have a chance to fuck up." Zach chuckled softly at that and nuzzled right back at Alex.

Alex held Zach tightly in his warm embrace and started kissing lightly along Zach’s jaw line. He slowly worked his way up to Zach’s ears and nipped lightly at the ear lobes making Zach giggle slightly. Zach shifted slightly and then started to pull away. "Let me up Alex," Zach said suddenly.

Alex immediately released Zach from his embrace. Alex tried to keep his expression neutral, but he couldn’t keep the hurt from showing in his eyes as Zach stood up. Zach turned around facing Alex and noticed the expression on his face. "Hey!" Zach said in alarm. "What’s wrong? I’m not leaving. I’m just pulling off my boxers. I couldn’t do that with you holding me so tight."

Alex hung his head for a second, laughing at himself. "Good!" he finally said still laughing. "You had me worried there for a second."

Zach smiled as he crawled back into bed and Alex’s embrace. "Well," Zach said. "I guess I’ve finally gotten use to sleeping naked. It almost feels funny when I don’t. Besides," Zach drawled, "ya’ll like me better this way anyway, dontcha?"

"You better fucking believe it!" Alex exclaimed promptly. "Now I just gotta work on keeping you naked when we’re out of bed too!" Zach started laughing and snuggled up closer to Alex.

Alex kissed Zach tenderly. Alex really felt like doing a little more than cuddling but he didn’t want to push Zach, especially since he had just started acting normal again. Alex shifted a little, and he couldn’t help but notice that Zach seemed to be a little thicker and longer than normal. God! He was so tempted just to reach down and grab him, but he used all his will power to resist. Alex could feel his own growing erection and he shifted slightly again so he wouldn’t be poking Zach quite so noticeably.

Alex continued to nuzzle softly at Zach’s cheeks and his hands were running lazy circles around his chest and stomach. Alex felt the slight shudder in Zach’s body every time his fingers ran up his ribs and Alex smiled slightly. The temptation to hold Zach down and tickle him washed over him and he had to once again restrain himself, but he couldn’t help grinning at the thought.

After a few more minutes, Zach shifted slightly. "Alex?" Zach asked quietly. "Are you really very tired?" Zach’s voice sounded especially timid.

Alex couldn’t help but grin. "Not that tired!" he replied enthusiastically. "Are we feeling a little bit energetic?" Alex teased as he started rubbing his body along Zach’s.

"Oh God!" Zach groaned. "No, we aren’t feeling a little bit energetic. We’re feeling fucking horny as hell! I’m about ready to explode here!"

Alex started laughing at Zach’s frank admission. "I never expected you to say something like that!" Alex teased. Alex started kissing down Zach’s throat and he continued running his hands over every square inch of Zach’s flesh he could reach. Alex started kissing and nibbling down Zach’s chest causing Zach’s entire body to tremble. When Alex reached his stomach and started to proceed further down, Zach grabbed his shoulders, holding him in place. Alex looked up questioningly.

"Alex," Zach nearly moaned. "You’ve got to… You…" Zach struggled to get the words out between gasps. "I’m gonna lose it if you, uh… if you suck me." Zach turned bright pink at those words, but he continued. "I wont last two seconds. It’s been too long since I last, uh, well you know."

Alex grinned at Zach. "You haven’t cum since the last time I gave you a blow job?" Alex asked directly, smiling as Zach turned even brighter red and shook his head no. "Good! Then this first one wont take too long and I can give you two tonight!" Zach’s eyes went really wide and a little wild and Alex grinned again and then swallowed Zach to the hilt.

Zach’s entire body convulsed as he let out a loud groan as he flopped his head back into the pillows. True to his prediction, Zach began shooting and his hips were thrusting involuntarily. Zach’s hands had still not left Alex’s shoulders and Alex could feel Zach’s fingers begin to tighten almost painfully into his skin. Alex kept on sucking, lapping up every drop causing Zach to groan and shudder almost continuously.

Alex continued licking and sucking long after Zach’s orgasm had passed and finally Zach had to grab at his shoulders again to pull him off his super sensitive dick. "Please Alex" Zach begged. "It’s too intense. My dick is so sensitive right now that your touch almost hurts."

Alex reluctantly released the hold his mouth had on Zach’s dick and he grinned as he slowly started kissing and nibbling his way back up Zach’s stomach and chest. Zach’s body was still trembling in the aftermath and his breath was coming in sharp gasps. But even so, Alex noticed that Zach still had not lost his erection. If anything, it seemed even harder than before he started.

Alex finally made his way up to Zach’s mouth, kissing him deeply and passionately. Alex kept his hands continuously running over Zach’s body, lightly stroking his fingers against his sensitive skin. Zach started to reach for Alex’s boxers and throbbing dick and Alex grabbed his hands pulling them away.

"Uh, uh!" Alex said shaking his head no, smiling at Zach. "Tonight is all about you. And I’m not nearly done playing with you yet." Zach groaned as Alex rubbed his groin against Zach’s, their throbbing dicks sliding against each other through the material of Alex’s boxers.

Alex started to lightly run his fingers up and down Zach’s sides, tickling him slightly even as he continued to kiss him passionately, his tongue exploring every inch of Zach’s mouth. Alex could feel Zach shuddering and his breath was once again coming in gasps. Slowly, Alex began kissing his way back down Zach’s quivering body, his fingers still tickling Zach’s ribs. Zach was moaning the entire time and his head was thrashing slowly from side to side.

Alex slowly licked Zach’s shaft from base to tip and Zach sat half way up before flopping back down again. Alex was really getting into the responses he was generating in Zach and he was getting a charge just from watching Zach. Slowly Alex licked around and around just the head of Zach’s dick generating another loud moan from him. Then Alex began slowly sucking on the tip of Zach’s dick, slowly working his way down the shaft. Once he had taken Zach entirely into his mouth, he paused for a few minutes lightly sucking. Then he began to slowly pull his mouth up and down Zach’s shaft and Zach groaned once again.

Zach’s entire body was covered in sweat and he was gasping for breath. He once again began thrusting his hips forward involuntarily. Alex knew Zach didn’t realize what he was doing, but Zach was in effect fucking his mouth and that thought turned Alex on more than he thought imaginable. Zach forcefully thrust one final time and then cried out something that sorta sounded like Alex’s name before shooting once again and Alex felt his own dick throb and begin shooting into his boxers.

Alex continued to lick and suck until Zach’s dick began to soften. He then began to kiss his way back up Zach’s quivering body until he was face to face with Zach once again. Alex noticed that Zach had his eyes squeezed shut and he looked totally spent. Slowly, Zach opened his eyes and grinned tiredly at Alex. Alex grinned back and kissed him tenderly before pulling him into a tight embrace. Zach cuddled up to Alex’s chest, nuzzling softly at him. In only a few minutes they both drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Alex woke to Zach’s gentle kisses and soft nuzzling. "Hey, good morning," Zach said happily when he noticed Alex’s open eyes. "I didn’t think you were ever going to wake up!"

Alex grinned sleepily at him. "Good morning to you too," he answered yawning. "What time is it?" Just then the alarm clock started buzzing and Zach reached over to turn it off.

"Time to get up," Zach said as he practically jumped out of bed. Zach started bouncing up and down on the bed. "Get up sleepy!"

"Damn!" Alex laughed. "You’re full of energy. You get laid or something last night?"

Zach blushed slightly and grinned back. "Nahh, just a blow job. But don’t tell my boyfriend, ok? I don’t want him thinking I sleep around or anything."

"I knew it!" Alex said in mock indignation. "Betrayed! And in my own bed too!"

"Yeah, and twice too!" Zach laughed back at him as he headed towards the shower. "But you don’t have room to talk. I noticed your boxers are a little on the crusty side there!"

Alex started laughing as Zach disappeared into the bathroom. Alex slowly pulled himself up out of bed, yawned and stretched and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He made his slow, stumbling way into the bathroom and the promise of a hot shower to wake him up. Zach was just finishing and stepping out of the shower when Alex finally made his way in. Zach kissed him lightly then pushed him towards the shower and started shaving.

Alex stayed under the spray for several minutes, just letting the warm water wash over him and wake him up for the day. Slowly, he felt the life begin to return to him once again and he began soaping himself down. He had just started on his hair when the curtain was pulled back slightly. "EEEK!" he yelled in mock terror.

"You ain’t got nothing I haven’t seen before," Zach teased. "And frequently too! I’ve got an early appointment so I have to take off. Give me a kiss, but try not to get me too wet."

"Hey if you get all wet from a kiss, then you’re not getting enough! Better have a chat with your boyfriend!" Alex teased as he leaned over and kissed Zach.

Zach grinned as he finally pulled away from the kiss. "I’ll have to make sure I talk to that boyfriend of mine then! I’ll see ya after classes."

"See ya," Alex replied and went back to his shower. Alex finally finished up and stepped out of the shower. He quickly brushed his hair into order and frowned once again as he realized he wouldn’t have to shave again today. Alex stepped into his bedroom to get dressed. As he pulled on a sweatshirt, he realized he would need to hurry if he planned on eating breakfast before class. He walked out to the kitchen and started grinning as he saw Zach had again prepared his cereal for him. Alex finished quickly then headed off towards campus.

The day seemed to fly by for Alex. He was in such a good mood that everyone around him noticed and commented on it. Alex even grinned slyly as he heard a few people mutter amongst themselves that he must have gotten laid. He was tempted to turn around and explain if for no other reason than just to see their mouths open in shock, but he resisted.

Finally, the last class for the day ended and Alex headed back towards the apartment. He met Cindy and James along the way and the three of them walked together laughing and joking the entire way. Alex naturally got a lot of teasing about his slip of the tongue the previous evening. James even made a few comments about the noise level later in the night at which point Alex went crimson to Cindy’s laughter. Even though he was embarrassed, Alex was laughing too.

The three of them finally made it back to the apartment and Alex invited Cindy and James in. They headed in through the front door and Alex saw Zach had already made it home and was sitting on the couch. Alex walked up behind him and leaned over the couch and started kissing him to the catcalls from Cindy and James. Alex noticed Zach stiffen up but figured it was from being seen by Cindy and James.

"What the fuck is this?" a voice interrupted, shouting loudly. Alex pulled off Zach and looked up to see a guy in his late twenties standing in the bathroom door staring in disgust at Zach and him. Alex thought he looked slightly familiar, but he could have sworn that he had never seen this guy before. He noticed that Cindy’s face had gone pale.

Zach briefly closed his eyes and seemed to be steeling himself. Finally he stood up and faced the fuming stranger. "Mike," Zach said, and Alex finally realized the stranger was Zach’s brother. "This is my roommate Alex."

"Your roommate huh?" Mike answered sarcastically. "And I suppose he’s from a foreign country and kissing you, that’s how he says hello?"

Zach closed his eyes again for a second and Alex could see his jaw tighten in annoyance. "Don’t try to be cute Mike. You’re not smart enough for it."

"You fucker!" Mike shouted. "So what the hell is going on between you two?"

Zach glared at his brother for a few seconds. "Exactly what it looked like Mike," he finally answered in a deadly quiet voice.

"So the two of you are fags?" Mike yelled sneering. "That’s fucking disgusting!"

"Get out," Zach said quietly. "Get the hell out of my home and stay the hell away from me."

Mike walked towards the door deliberately bumping his shoulder into Zach as he was leaving. He walked out onto the front lawn and then turned back towards Zach who had followed him out the door. "I always knew you were a fag!" Mike yelled at Zach, sneering at him. Mike’s expression was one of pure hate. "God, Mom and Dad should have aborted you!"

"Shut up Mike," Zach said in a deadly quiet voice. Zach’s voice remained dreadfully calm. Only the intense look in Zach’s eyes and his clenched jaw revealed his anger.

"Don’t you tell me to shut up, you fucking pervert!" Mike yelled again. "You’re a disgrace to the family!"

Zach’s eyes narrowed and if anything, he seemed to become even calmer. "I’m a disgrace? I’m not the one who is fucking every whore in town. I’m not the one whose wife has caught him cheating on more than one occasion."

Mike’s face turned bright red with renewed anger. "You fucking bastard!" Mike screamed at Zach. Then without warning, Mike balled his fists as he threw a punch. Zach wasn’t expecting the blow and Mike’s fist landed squarely against Zach’s right eye. The force of the blow pushed Zach’s head back and he stumbled backwards for a couple of steps thus avoiding the next blow from Mike.

Zach caught his balance after a few backward steps. Zach’s expression was one of shock, but then a look of intense rage replaced that initial emotion. Zach jabbed out quickly with his right fist connecting solidly with Mike’s nose. Everyone present could hear the snap of cartilage as Mike’s nose broke and began bleeding freely. Without pause, Zach threw three quick jabs with his left hand into Mike’s stomach. The air rushed out of Mike, but before he could catch his breath, Zach’s right fist came up sharply in an uppercut catching Mike on the chin and knocking him backwards and completely off his feet.

Zach began to move towards Mike to continue the brawl when James and Alex quickly grabbed both of his arms and dragged Zach back away from his brother. Mike lay on the ground for several minutes gasping for air. And then struggling, he slowly pulled himself to his feet staring a little fearfully at the still enraged Zach.

"Get the fuck out of here Mike!" Zach yelled at his brother. "The next time you try and take a swing at me you better pray that Alex and James are there to pull me off of you! Just because I’m your younger brother doesn’t mean that I’m not bigger than you and that I can’t beat the shit out of you. The next time you decide you want to fight with me, just remember that your fag brother just beat the fuck out of you!"

Mike didn’t say a word as he stumbled towards his car. He quickly got in and drove off. Zach watched the speeding car as it pulled out of sight. As soon as the car was gone from view, Zach sighed and all the anger seemed to drain out of him. "That was a mistake," Zach mumbled as he turned towards the apartment door. Zach slowly walked back into the apartment followed by a speechless Alex, James and Cindy.

As soon as he was back inside, Zach sat down on the couch and just stared out the window. As every minute passed Zach seemed to draw further into himself. Zach resisted all efforts to engage him in conversation by Cindy and James, and even Alex couldn’t get him to respond with much more than single syllable answers. As the evening slowly passed the three friends could only watch as Zach continued to stare out the window.

Alex woke to someone gently shaking him. He slowly opened his eyes to see Cindy’s staring at him, a concerned look on her face. Instantly Alex woke the rest of the way up as he remembered the events of the previous day and night. Alex looked quickly towards the spot on the couch where Zach had been sitting the entire night just to find the spot empty.

"Where is he?" Alex asked, a note of panic entering his voice. "Did Zach finally go to bed?"

Cindy stared at Alex for a few seconds before answering. "You know he would never just go to bed and leave the rest of us out here Alex. I don’t know where he is. I just woke up a few minutes ago myself and Zach was gone. His car is gone too."

"Fuck!" Alex yelled in frustration. "We’ve got to find him! Where would he go?" Alex jumped up and started searching for his keys intent to start his search immediately. He was nearly frantic with worry over Zach.

"Sit down Alex," Cindy ordered, a note of steel in her voice. "Just where do you think you’ll find him at? All you can accomplish is a pointless wandering around hoping you’ll stumble across him. You need to be here in case Zach tries to call or comes back."

Alex stared at Cindy a hopeless look on his face. The truth of her words hit him with the force of a cold splash of water. "I have to do something Cindy!" Alex finally said. "I have to find him! I have to…." Alex trailed off, his eyes starting to water.

Cindy walked across the room and pulled Alex into a tight hug. "I know Alex. But this time he’s gonna have to come back by himself. Zach is going to need you when he comes home. You have to be here for him when he finally finds his way home."

Alex allowed himself to be held for several minutes as he fought to regain control over his emotions. Eventually he allowed Cindy to guide him over to the couch and sat down. Alex sat staring blankly at the room for several minutes before he realized James was gone. "Where’s James at?" he asked only mildly interested.

Cindy smiled at Alex. "Doing what you just wanted to do. He’s out wandering aimlessly hoping to stumble across Zach. He actually woke up first and found Zach gone. He woke me up and then headed out the door to try and find him."

"He’s out looking for Zach?" Alex asked a little surprised.

"Yes," Cindy replied, a touch of humor in her voice. "He cares about Zach too you know. Maybe not the same way we do, but James really likes both of you guys. He’s told me several times the two of you are probably his closest friends."

Alex sat down heavily and put his head into his hands. "I’m so worried about him Cindy. Why the hell did I have to fuck everything up? Why did I have to kiss him in front of his brother?"

Cindy sat down next to Alex and put her arms around him pulling him into an embrace to comfort him. Alex put his head on Cindy’s shoulder and just sat there for a very long time. Cindy continued to hold him, rubbing his back until Alex regained a measure of control.

The rest of the day Cindy did what she could to keep Alex busy. She attempted to help him with his homework, but Alex couldn’t concentrate, and truthfully, neither could she. They watched TV, but neither of them could have coherently said what they had watched even seconds after the show ended. Cindy tried to tell Alex stories of Zach from when they were in school together, but Alex was barely paying attention. As each minute went by, Alex became more and more agitated.

Finally, around eight in the evening the front door opened and they both looked up anticipating seeing Zach. Instead James entered with a defeated look on his face. "I’m sorry," he said seeing them. "I looked everywhere I could think of. I couldn’t find him. I even had Dave helping me look until Dave had to go to work. I don’t know where else to go."

Alex sighed in frustration. "Damn it!" Alex exclaimed. "Why can’t he just come home? Maybe I should call my Dad."

Cindy started rubbing Alex’s shoulders again. "There’s not much your Dad would be able to do either Alex," she told him quietly. "We are just going to have to wait for him to decide to come home." Alex nodded his reluctant agreement and the three of them continued waiting.

Finally, after a couple more hours, Zach walked through the door startling Alex, Cindy and James with his abrupt appearance. The expression on Zach’s face was truly frightening. It was a look of such utter loss and despair. Zach’s eyes reflected his confusion and pain. Zach stood in the doorway, staring blankly at the three of them for several minutes. It was obvious their presence hadn’t even registered on his brain yet.

After several moments Cindy finally spoke. "Zachie?" she said, her voice quiet, like one used to comfort a frightened child. "Are you ok?"

Zach’s turned his head slightly, staring at Cindy, focusing on her voice. "Cindy?" he finally said, recognizing her at last. "Was I suppose to help you with your homework? Is that why you’re here? I’m sorry if I forgot. I’m sorry…"

Alex and James both looked at each other, their concern growing. Cindy gently took Zach’s arm and led him over to the couch, sitting him down. "Zachie, you didn’t forget," Cindy said gently. "I’m just here to see you." Zach stared blankly at her for several minutes, still not comprehending the conversation.

"Zach, where were you?" James asked softly. "We looked all over for you."

Zach shook his head slightly at the new voice and faced James. "James?" he asked. "I’m sorry."

Alex sat down next to Zach and gently turned Zach around to face him. "Zach," Alex said quietly but getting his attention. "Where were you? You had us worried."

Zach stared at Alex for a few seconds. "I’m sorry," he said, almost automatically. "What did you say?"

"I asked where you were," Alex replied gently.

"Oh," Zach answered still staring at Alex. "I went out to my Mom’s grave"

James and Cindy exchanged glances, confused since James had searched out there at Cindy’s request. "You were there all day Zach?" Cindy asked, trying to sort out what had happened.

"Huh?" Zach asked. "Oh, no. I went there first. Then I went to see Scottie." Zach shook his head slightly and then looked down at his lap. After a few seconds, he started to tremble.

Cindy gently lifted Zach’s chin with her hand till he was looking up at her. "What happened?"

Zach stared into Cindy’s eyes for several minutes, still trembling. He took a deep shuddering breath and his eyes grew watery. "She wouldn’t let me see him," Zach whispered. "I could hear him in the back crying and she wouldn’t let me see him. I don’t understand. Lisa wouldn’t let me see Scottie, Cindy. She wouldn’t… I don’t get to see him anymore. I don’t…" Zach trailed off in despair.

Alex gently put his arms around Zach, pulling him into a fierce embrace. Alex could see the tears running down Cindy’s face and he struggled to keep his own tears in check. Even James’ eyes were watery. Alex was amazed that Zach wasn’t crying himself, but his only display of grief was his trembling.

Alex held Zach for a long time, then stood up pulling Zach with him. He slowly led the docile Zach into the bedroom followed by Cindy and James. Alex gently pushed Zach down onto the bed and got him to lie down. He then pulled the covers up around Zach without even bothering to undress him. Alex then lay down next to Zach, simply holding him while Zach continued to tremble. Cindy crawled into the bed on the opposite side and added her embrace while James sat down on the end of bed simply lending the support of his presence. Slowly, after what seemed an eternity, Zach drifted off into a fitful sleep, his body continuing to shake even in slumber.

The ringing of a telephone startled Zach out of his sleep. He glanced around, a little confused. Zach didn’t really remember how he had ended up back home and he was a little uncertain of how he ended up in bed fully dressed. Slowly, the events of the last few days came back to him and he sighed with regret.

Alex slowly opened the bedroom door and looked in to find Zach with his eyes open and sitting up. Grief and pain were still evident on Zach’s face, but he turned and smiled slightly at Alex in greeting.

"Zach," Alex said hesitantly. "Your dad is on the phone. Do you want me to tell him you’re still sleeping?"

Zach sighed in resignation. "No," he said sadly. "I have to have this conversation with him sometime. I might as well get it over with."

Alex walked over and hugged Zach in support and then gently kissed him. "Do you want me to stay?"

Zach smiled a little half smile. "No. I’m gonna have to do this one alone. But thanks Alex."

Alex hugged Zach again, and then quietly left the room, closing the door as he left. Zach looked at the phone for a few seconds, just wishing things could be different. Sighing once more, he picked up the phone from the cradle. "Hello," he said.

"Zachary?" Zach recognized his father’s voice. He had been expecting and dreading this call. "We need to talk. Your brother told me what happened. He told me you got into a fight with him when he caught you kissing another boy."

"That’s not exactly how it happened Dad," Zach replied. "Mike started the fight. He threw the first punch."

"But he did catch you kissing another guy," Zach’s father asked. "Is that what you’re saying?"

"Not that its any of either your or Mike’s business, but yes, I was kissing Alex."

"Zachary, that’s wrong!" Zach’s dad said forcefully. "You know that homosexuality is wrong!"

"No, I don’t know that," Zach replied. "I’m gay Dad. This isn’t exactly the way I pictured telling you, but it’s true. I’m gay."

"No you’re not," Zach’s father answered. "It’s just a phase you’re going through. You’ll discover that you’ve made a mistake and come to your senses."

"It isn’t a phase Dad," Zach said. "And I don’t think it’s a mistake. But this isn’t really your or Mike’s business. It’s mine. Mike needs to keep his nose out of my life."

"You need to apologize to your brother Zach," Zach’s father said over the phone. "He was only trying to do what he thought was right. He was trying to make you see you are wrong with this choice of yours."

Zach sighed. "Dad, it’s not a choice. I didn’t just wake up and say to myself, gee, I wonder what it would be like if I was gay? I think I’ll give it a try."

"Don’t get smart with me Zachary," Zach’s father snapped. "It’s wrong and you know it. You didn’t go to church all those years without learning something."

"I did learn something," Zachary replied. "I learned that little passage about judge not, that ye be not judged. I also learned just how hypocritical most of those church people really are. And don’t quote me the tale about Sodom and Gomorrah. I know the Bible better than you and that passage is not about homosexuality no matter what you and the pastor might think."

"Zach, it’s a sin," Zach’s father insisted.

"Is it?" Zach asked. "I thought your Bible was all about teaching love and acceptance. Why is it you can’t accept me and I’m a sinner for loving someone and remaining faithful to him, while your other son is forgiven even after having affair after affair? His own wife has caught him, Dad, so don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about."

"Zachary, you just don’t understand…" Zach’s father started.

"No, I don’t," Zach interrupted. "And until you can explain it to me, I don’t think you understand either."

"Are you going to apologize to your brother?" Zach’s dad asked, exasperated. "Are you going to continue this… relationship with this boy? In spite of me telling you it’s wrong?"

"I don’t have anything to apologize for Dad," Zach answered. "And until you can tell me why it’s wrong, yes I’m going to continue the relationship."

The line was quiet for several moments. Finally Zach’s father replied, "Then we don’t have anything else to discuss. You are not to come back to this house until you have stopped seeing this boy."

Zach didn’t get a chance to reply. With that final ultimatum, Zach’s father hung up the phone ending the conversation. Zach held onto the receiver for several minutes, staring at the phone in a daze. Finally, he slowly placed the phone back into the cradle, his face expressionless.

Zach slowly walked back into the living room and looked at the waiting Alex, James and Cindy. "I think I just got kicked out of the family," Zach said quietly. "I knew he wasn’t going to take it very well, but I didn’t think he would ever tell me not to come home."

"What did he say?" Cindy asked gently.

Zach repeated the conversation to the three of them in a monotone voice. The total lack of reaction from Zach was starting to scare Alex. In a way, it almost seemed like Zach was dead, at least emotionally. Zach finished relating the conversation to the three of them and then stood staring at them blankly for a few minutes. Alex, James and Cindy were stunned by the conversation and remained silent also, not knowing what to say.

"I think I’ll go lay down for a while," Zach finally said. "I’m feeling a little tired." Zach didn’t wait for a reply from any of them. He slowly walked into the bedroom, still seemingly emotionless. With each step, Zach seemed to draw another layer of separation over himself. Alex, Cindy and James silently watched him leave, unsure of what to say or do.

After Zach had left the room, Alex and James both turned to Cindy, a questioning look on their face. "Don’t look at me guys," Cindy told them. "This is outside my world of experience. I don’t know what to do either."

Alex sighed and looked back towards the bedroom door. "He seems so… I don’t know how to describe it. I keep waiting for him to explode, or breakdown, or cry. At least scream in frustration. But all he does is go lay down? It’s like he doesn’t even feel anymore."

"He’s more or less just lost his entire family Alex," Cindy replied also looking towards the bedroom. "In the last two days everyone of them has turned their backs on him. He’s probably still in a state of shock. I don’t think he knows what to feel right now."

James looked at the two of them. "He looked so alone," James said. "Even when he was here talking with us, it seemed like he was all by himself. I’ve never seen anyone look so…" James trailed off not finding the words to complete his thoughts.

"James is right Alex," Cindy said suddenly. "You should go to him Alex. Don’t let him withdraw completely. Let him know you’re still there for him. That at least someone in his life still cares for him."

Alex quietly walked into the bedroom. He was a little surprised when he entered the room and found Zach standing next to the window staring out at the lawn. Alex walked up behind Zach and put his arms around him, enfolding Zach in his embrace. At the initial contact, Zach flinched and then stiffened up seeming to try and withdraw from the contact.

"Zach," Alex said quietly. "I’m here for you if you want to talk. Is there anything I can do?"

Zach was quiet for a few moments. "No," he answered finally. "There isn’t anything anybody can do. I just want to be left alone for a while."

Alex tightened his embrace. "I’m not going to do that Zach," Alex said. "I know you’re hurt and I’m not going anywhere. Even if you don’t want to talk about it, I’m not going to leave you by yourself."

Zach stiffened even more and his every muscle tensed. Alex could see a slight reflection of Zach’s face in the window and he could see Zach’s jaw clench in irritation. And then, just as quickly, Zach’s body relaxed and almost seemed to melt into Alex’s embrace. Zach sighed in resignation.

"I am so tired of fighting them Alex," Zach said quietly, his voice barely audible. "Why can’t they just leave me alone? I tried to be what they wanted. I tried to get them to love me. I didn’t ask to be in their family. I didn’t ask to be born at all. It’s not my fault I can’t be what they want. I don’t even care anymore that they don’t love me. I just want them to leave me alone."

Alex squeezed Zach a little tighter. He remained quiet for a few seconds before replying. "That’s not true Zach," Alex said softly. "You do care that they don’t love you because in spite of everything, you still love them. If you didn’t love them, they couldn’t hurt you so much."

Alex could see Zach close his eyes in the reflection. "I don’t think I even know how to love anymore," Zach whispered.

"Yes you do," Alex answered. "You have more love in you than anyone I know. You amaze all of us you know. You love everyone, even those that don’t deserve it. It’s easy to love people who love you back. But you, you’re willing to love everyone. You hold your heart in your hand and you give it to anyone who asks and you never expect anything in return. Do you know how amazing that is?"

Zach started to protest and Alex squeezed him again. "Shut up Zach," Alex said softly, a touch of humor in his voice. "Whether you want to admit it or not, I’m right and you know it. Don’t make me call James and Cindy in here to back me up. You know you can never win an argument with Cindy!"

Zach laughed for a second in spite of himself. "All right," Zach conceded. "I give up. Don’t call Cindy. I don’t think I could take another argument." Zach leaned back into Alex a little. "Alex. Will you… will you just hold me for a while?" Zach asked timidly, seeming to be afraid of the answer he might get.

"For the rest of our lives," Alex answered, squeezing him tightly once again.