Hook Line & Sinker - 2. M for Mad.

Sitting on the rocks, watching the waves clash and hearing the ocean roar, was wonderful. It may have been a Monday, but hey, who cares about class when your world just got turned upside down? I sat there and contemplated so many things. I wanted to switch my phone on and see if he called, but I’m sure he was too busy playing happy family or having a laugh with his friends about me. The stupid fag that fell for it. Oh, my favourite part of this was when he said he didn’t mean to fall in love me; oh right, because totally in love with someone that you leave every night to go be with another woman. My bad, she’s no other woman; she’s the wife. I was the other woman! Other man! Whatever the fuck I was! Tears started to stream down my face, I was so angry. I was livid, I tried to calm down but I couldn’t. I got off the rock I was on and started walking. I may have walked twenty kilometres not knowing where I was headed; I just let my feet take me away so I could just be alone, calm and free. I couldn’t go back to my apartment, and yes it is mine. I will keep it after this break-up, because I deserve at least that much after being a side-bitch to some 'ain’t shit' nigga! There goes that anger again. I decided to walk back to my apartment, and surprisingly my thoughts got clearer.

And to think I was in love with KG; I was ready to go public with him. Sure, I was okay with being in the closet with him in the beginning, but I got tired and I wanted everyone to be able to share in our love. I wanted to be able to hold his hand and walk down the road with him giggling and ogling each other. I wanted him to profess his love for me to all his friends; I wanted the whole nine yards. Alas, I was never ever going to get it. Was I crazy to think that maybe he and I could get serious and end up married? Was I crazy for wanting to finally tell someone, anybody, about us? I mean my friend Sarah just started going with this other lipstick lesbian who is in the closet with her family, but they hold hands, they do everything I wanted to do with KG. I was just so mad about him still wanting to keep me a secret. I mean Sarah and Jess have only been dating three months, and Jess has already decided she wants to tell her parents about Sarah. Three months! After eleven months all I get is dinner in a different city where no one knows him. I was tired of the secrecy.

If he wanted to fuck me over, then two can play at that game. I’ll love him all he wants, if that’s he wants. If he wants me to leave, I’ll leave. I’ll give him what he wants, but he better know that this time I’m going to do more damage than good. I started to laugh as a few naughty thoughts crept into my head; my laughter got me strange looks from people passing by. I walked much better now that I was busy conceiving vile ideas in my head. I even managed to reach down into my pocket, get my phone and switch it on. I saw he had left several messages.

Babe, we need to talk.

I know you the one that called last night. We have to talk about what you heard.

I’m getting worried, your phone has been off all day, and you weren’t at home when I came over.

Oh, my poor boyfriend; he wants to make things right. He clearly loves me more than his wife. Maybe he and I will settle down and get the whole straight dream going. I should probably love him with all my heart and forgive him; it really isn’t his fault. I mean how could he be wrong for cheating on his wife with me for over a year? Right? He clearly loves me more. I laughed so hard at how ludicrous these ideas were.

By the time I reached home, I was calm and every bit of emotion was shoved down deep; bottling things was a great trait I had. I walked into my apartment and was greeted by the smell of Cajun Chicken; he loved cooking Cajun Chicken when he fucked up royally. He knows I have a soft spot for it, and that it calmed me down. I dropped my keys into the bowl by the door loudly so he could hear me. What lies does he have in store now?

“Babe,” he said with some concern in his voice as he rushed over to hug me. “I’ve been worried! Where have you been?”

“I took a walk, was even at the beach. You know I like to walk when I’m upset.” I was not sure whether to hug him back or not, so I decided to do it anyway. “I smell Cajun.”

“Yeah. I thought, we’d have a nice dinner, just you and me.” He stepped back so he could look me over and lead me to the kitchen.

“I’m not hungry,” I said in a soft whiny voice. “I think I’ll sleep better. I haven’t slept all day. I’ve been busy crying.” I looked straight in his eyes as I attempted a wounded face; clearly it worked because he let go of my hand and looked down.

“Babe, I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you so many times, but I fell so hard for you. I want to make us work.” I’d never seen Kgotso seem so sad, and to be honest, the grovelling made me happy. “She and I got married out of convenience, it was all a big business merger; our families arranged for us to get married. I don’t love her like I love you.” I was hearing him loud and clear, and what he was saying was all bullshit, and guess what? His eye kept twitching.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. I heard the way she spoke last night, and she was so horrible. I understand why you’d want to leave her. Did you go get your friend out of jail, unharmed, before you went back to her? I heard people get raped there.” Lie number one, also known as bait.

“It was a holding cell, and he was fine.” I saw the relief in his face. KG should never play poker, if he does, I’m sure he'll lose a lot because he has no poker face.

“You said you wanted to talk?” I said, and he shot me a puzzled look. “Your messages, they said you want to talk.”

“Yeah. It’s about our fight.”

“It is fine, babe. I realised that it was unfair of me to back you into a corner. Especially after I found out you are trapped in a loveless marriage. You’ve been nothing but good to me. I mean, you love me so much, and you are always there for me. I was being selfish and ungrateful.” With that said, I walked over to him and gave his a big kiss. It made my insides want to come out; I would’ve thrown up, but there was nothing in my body to throw up. Now, this is the part where the fisherman waits for the fish to take the bait.

“Babe, I don’t want you to take all the blame. I could’ve told you sooner; I’m really scared about this whole coming out thing, and as much as I want you show you off, I’m personally not ready. Please understand. I promise if you stay we’ll introduce ourselves to your friends. How does that sound?” Oh, I think I have a bite. Maybe it’s time to reel it in. Imagine that; my reward for an eleven–month sham is him popping out of hiding just to say 'hi' to my friends. The utter bullshit! CACA CHIEN!!!

“Anything for you babe, as long as you are still mine. Mine alone…” My voice trailed off as I started planting kisses on the side of his neck. I gently nibbled and laid soft kisses, making my way down his collarbone to the indent located below his neck. Kissing passionately once there, I heard him let out small grunts and moans. I then moved up to kiss on the back of his neck, below his earlobe, slowly alternating between sucking softly, blowing, licking and nibbling. I could hear his grunts and moans get heavier. I was going to make him cum so hard, I was ready for him to have his final fuck with me, because after that night, it would be my turn to fuck him! I felt his hand grabbing my ass, that’s when I pulled away.

“Uhm… The stove, switch it off,” I said, bobbing my head to the burner that had a pot on it. He walked over to the stove and switched it off. By the time he was back, I had my pants on the floor, and judging by my dick, some part of me was enjoying this session.

“You don’t waste time,” he said coming closer to kiss me. He was shocked when I pushed him away.

“Go fetch a condom and lube,” I said in my best sex–kitten-voice. He giggled and made his way to the bedroom. While he was gone, I went into the refrigerator to get some low fat yogurt, and put it on the counter where I was sitting. My erection was going limp, so I lifted one leg onto the counter and started fingering myself just to keep it up.

“That seems like fun, may I join?” he asked as he beheld the sight.

“You’ll have your own fun with this,” I said, motioning to the yogurt.

“What?” he asked.

“I want you to eat me out, with this.” His eyes grew wide as I lay on my back and positioned my ass at the edge of the kitchen counter. I opened my legs wide and beckoned for him to come closer. Whatever protest he had in him, was clearly gone. He closed the distance between us, and was fast on his knees. I saw the hunger in his eyes; clearly his wife never got him to be this freaky. Oh darling, how will he handle what will happen to him once I’m done with him? He pressed his tongue flat over the opening, slowly teasing it in, and then he’d bite gently around it and blow his cold breath on it. With his soft, moist lips he gently kissed all around the anus, while playing with my balls. My back was already arched, and I knew he’d keep going until I begged for his dick, so when he finally decide to swirl his tongue around the rim, I was starting to want more. He scooped up a generous amount of yogurt and put it in the right place; he fingered me with it before he reached down and started licking it off. I have to admit, I’ll miss the sessions where he ate me out. The way his long tongue could get into me after he had just opened my hole up with two of his fingers. Goodness me, I could feel the goose bumps on my skin as he started working on me. He gave me his A-grade rim job for a good ten minutes before I moaned out loud, ordering him to fuck me. He must’ve had his cock straining against his pants for the longest of time, because he got up and whipped it out with amazing speed. I didn’t even get a chance to give him a blowjob before he was ready for entry.

“Condom,” I said as I realised that he hadn’t even ripped one open. He looked at me as if he were going to argue, but I guess he didn’t want to kill the vibe. He hurriedly took a condom out of the box and put one on his hard cock. The best part about KG undoubtedly has to be his cock. It has this nice girth that is probably three of my fingers, and this length that reaches too deep within me. I swear, he's about a good twelve or twelve and a half inches.

“Ow!” I moaned out loud. Shit, the initial penetration caught me off guard.

“You okay?” he asked holding still, not wanting to go further.

“I’m fine, I forgot that you’re so big,” I said in between moans. He had started pushing in, slowly and gently. I knew he was only going to be gentle until he felt me get comfortable with his size.

“Tell me when you want me to stop,” he said gently. He always said that, but once you tell him 'stop,' he pounds you harder, and soon enough you wouldn’t be able to feel your legs. But tonight wasn’t about the pleasure.

“Fuck me real hard today; don’t take it easy on me. I want to feel all of you in me.” I said as I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled into him. I bit back moans of pain, and he wasted no time fucking me hard. I had to lift my body off the counter so I could hold onto him, or else I would’ve ended up on the far end of the room. The amount of force and pressure he put into the fuck was so much, at some point I thought he ruptured something, but I didn’t care. I kept him in me; riding him to match his pace and motion. I wanted him to make his last night with me worth it.

“Fuck! Babe!” he grunted in pleasure.

“AH! Harder,” I urged him on.

He moved me off the kitchen counter, pinned my head against the wall, and took me from behind. There was more fun when he had me up against the wall, at least this time I could throw my ass back and spread my legs for better access. Which he seemed to enjoy; oh and it also gave him the chance to pull me by my hair which he loved.

“Pull harder, daddy!” I insisted to him, which he did. “Spank me!”

“Harder!” I kept inciting him to be rougher, and true to my nature, my cock erupted at the manhandling I’d been receiving. “Fuck! Aaah!” I moaned as I clinched my sphincter around his cock. He rode me for a few more minutes before he finally erupted into the condom. He remained in me for a few seconds just to catch his breath.

“That was the wildest sex we’ve had,” he said with glee on his face. I just grunted in agreement, and waited for him to pull out of me. I honestly felt the happiest I had been for the past twenty-four hours. I could barely feel my legs, but damn was KG good with his schlong.

“Are you staying the night?” I asked, returning to the sad little whinny bitch that needed him. I felt him pull his cock out of me, and a gaping feeling took the place of his dick.

“Do you want me to?” he asked, turning me around. He wasn’t looking at me; he was looking at his cock as he tried to remove the super tight condom.

“Let me help you,” I said as I kneeled down between his legs and slid the condom off slowly, making sure not to spill any of his juice on the floor. I knotted it and told him I’d throw it away after I licked the remnants of his sperm from his dick, and teasingly, I did so.

It only took him two minutes of my licking and jerking him off in order to get hard again. I made fast work of his growing erection. I sucked him dexterously - I could never fit all of him in my mouth - but I still got the grunts and moans that motivated me to keep bobbing my head faster and faster. I took a few seconds of a breather and licked the head of his cock and then suck his balls. He was in the middle of ecstasy. I was convinced that his wife must’ve been a horrible lay. I didn’t give great blowjobs, they were okay, but the way he moaned you would swear I was some pornstar.

“I’m… Aaah,” he said as he came, and I kept all his man juice in my mouth, unfortunately for him, I don’t swallow. Never have, never will. So, I got up from my knees, grabbed the used condom from the floor, and headed to the bathroom. I placed the condom on the counter while I looked around for a container to place the cum that was in my mouth. I found something of great use in the little garbage bin in the bathroom. I placed the sperm that was in my mouth in it, closed it and put the container, as well as the used condom, in a cosy hiding spot where KG would never look. I got some mouthwash and freshened up my breath.

“Man, you are the sexiest thing alive,” he said as I made my way out of the bathroom.

“And you fuck like a twenty-three year old,” I said flirtatiously.

“So, you been fucking twenty-three year olds?” he asked defensively.

“I’m not the cheating type.” Unlike you, you fucken bastard!

“Mat?” he said gently.

“Yeah?”

“Yesterday you said something. I know you were angry, but it really upset me.” KG was doing the whole looking at me through a mirror thing. He thought it was some deep shit he had said; him looking at me through my reflection was because he wanted me to see what he saw when he looked at me. Some corny ass bullshit! He's a trifling ass-bitch-nigga! Punk-ass, pussy-ass, lame-ass, ain’t-good-for-nothing-but-dick-ass, low-down-cheating ass nigger!

“What did I say, babe?” I asked, sounding apologetic.

“You referred to the night we met, and you were back on that whole I’m trying to buy you thing. I want you to know that I’m not. Far from it, if I was only interested in fucking you, and buying you shit, we wouldn’t have made it past two months. I genuinely like you.” How the fuck are you going to like someone who’s about to do a number on you? I wanted to ask him so badly, but all in due time.

“Are you going to leave me?” I asked him as I cuddled up to him on the bed. “Because I want to explain why I said that, and I want you to be able to hold me through the night, since what I have to tell you is really hard for me to tell anyone.” I stroked his chest as I spoke.

“I…” He looked pensive; I’m sure his wife would be mad as hell if he stayed. To be honest, I didn’t want him to stay. I just needed him to have his guard down long enough for me to get what I did want. “Sure, I’ll have to talk to… You know what? Fuck her; we don’t ever have to think of her.” He seemed committed to this lie.

“Hold me, baby,” I said as sad as I could. “I just want to feel you next to me.” The silly billy goat held me; he probably felt so great, having a supportive mistress who is devoted to him, someone who is so weak and needs him to constantly hold them, and best of all, someone who never denied him any of his naughty sexual fantasies.

“Where’d you go?” he asked, breaking my train of thought.

“I’m thinking about us. It’s just that every time I think about us I wonder how I got you. What do you see in me? Growing up, I used to get picked on a lot, especially after I had to live with my aunt. See, my mom was in hospital for a couple of months, and my father was constantly travelling, so I had no one. I lived with my aunt and she complained about how nobody was sending money for me to eat and be in her house, so I had to behave. She made me know at every turn that I was worthless, that my parents didn’t care for me, and that if I were to stay there I’d have to pay my way. I was eleven, what work does an eleven year old know? So she started arranging for some of her male friends to have their way with me for a good price. It started off in the most random way; she started by telling me that her friend, Uncle Lucas, wanted to talk to me alone. So, he took me to his house, he talked to me about the birds and the bees, and asked me if I wanted to see how babies were made. I said yes, and he took off our clothes and had his way with me. Every time I cried, he told me that I had asked for it, and that if I wanted to live with my aunt, I had to stop crying. I didn’t want to be alone; I didn’t want to be left on the street, not with the state my mother was in.”

I started sniffling and touched the corners of my eyes. I felt him brush my head, before he leaned down and kissed my forehead, right then and there I knew I had KG.

“I didn’t know babe. I’m so sorry. I thought all this time you were just being hard on me. I’ll never use my money as power over you. Everything I get you is because I want to, not because I want you to have sex with me. Or as payment for sex; I’m not those men that hurt you.” Ncooh; my knight in shining armour. Too bad this story was made up hogwash just to make him feel like I needed him. My plan required precision, patience and persuasion. I had to execute everything without fail.

“It’s okay, I guess it still haunts me. I just have to be more trusting, and you are already helping me with that,” I said as I snuggled up in KG’s arms. He just let out a hum that sounded like a form of agreement, and we stayed cuddle for a few minutes. I have to admit, I was getting too comfortable with a married man, that’s why I had to stop it.

“Babe, I’m a bit hungry. Do you think you can go get me some of that chicken you made me?” I said as I looked into his eyes. I have to say, my acting skills are on fleek, because he keeps buying this whole vulnerable act. It’s either that, or the fact that I really am hurt by finding out that he is married. KG managed to get up and make his way out of the bedroom. As soon as he had gone, I reached over to get his phone. It’s stupid how he has no lock code or form of security lock when he knows he is cheating on his wife. I paged through his messages to find the texts I sent him and the ones he sent me were deleted, and our calls to each other deleted. It made sense though, might as well deleted the side bitch's contact details if you don’t have a lock on your phone. I found what I was looking for just after I noticed that he had deleted any evidence of him and me. I decided to play around with his phone some more and that’s when he walked in. I saw the panic in his eyes when he spoke.

“What are you doing?” he was trying to sound casual, but he wasn’t winning.

“Come and I’ll show you, babe,” I said with a wide grin. I saw he didn’t trust me, but he had no other option; he had to join me in bed. As soon as he placed the plate of food on the bedside table, I sat up and ran my arm on his chest and continued to smile at him.

“I wanted to give you this,” I said scrolling through the nude pictures I had taken of myself. “Keep them for the days when we can’t be together.”

I saw a smile come across his face. I was sure he had thought that I was up to something sinister.

“I’ll keep them forever,” he said, and then leaned over to kiss me passionately. He broke the kiss and looked me in my eyes before speaking. “Eat your food, my love.” I wasn’t sure whether to feel fake loved or not, so I just smiled and let him feed me. We talked about random things and made jokes, making it seem like everything was okay, like the night before never happened. It was like he didn’t have a wife and family to go back to, like his life with me was all he had, but I knew better. He knew better. I had just finished eating, and he had gotten up to put my plate away, when I saw his phone flashing. It was an incoming call from his wife; the genius had his wife’s number saved as ‘murati waka’ which translated to English as ‘my love’. I rolled my eyes before I picked up the phone and walked to where he was.

“Your wife is calling,” I said feigning mild displeasure. I turned and walked away once he had the phone in his hands. I went to my bedroom and started to text my friend Thembi. I had to tell him what was going on. Thembi and I had had exchanged three messages by the time KG walked back into the room, fully dressed. I had forgotten that our clothes were in the kitchen.

“I have to go,” he said in a gloomy tone.

“Oh!” I replied without lifting my eyes off my phone.

“My son is sick and – “

“Don’t explain; you have a family to get to,” I said, trying not to sound hurt.

“Baby, I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He had made his way to the bed and was holding my head up so I could look at him.

“Go, before I change my mind,” I replied in a dejected tone. He was at the door when he turned to speak.

“I’ll keep looking at the pictures while I serve my fatherly duties.”

* * * * *

With that, he had rushed out of the door, and out of my life, for a good three days. He would call and sms me, but he wouldn’t come visit. He finally came to see me on Saturday morning, where he said just wanted to talk, hold me, but then tried to fuck me. I told him that my ass was still sore from the last session we had. He said he was fine with that, and we stayed cuddled up until his phone conveniently rang. He said he had to go.

With me knowing that he was married, things seemed more distant. He would do things he’d never done; like not come over. He kept sending messages and flowers as a form of communication, but that wasn’t enough. I lied, saying I wanted him, when I told him this he simply told me that his son really needed him. I was so supportive; I gave him space. All the space he needed, but during that space, something else was happening too. KG had been missing in action for a week when I decided to finally give Charles a chance. We had gone on a date and I realised how much fun he was. Charles and I were getting more comfortable with each other. As I say, we had gone on one date, but that ended in a chill session together, and he took my mind off of KG.

It had been a great day, by great I meant grey and stormy. I had called KG two days before and he told me he was busy, so I called his secretary and scheduled an appointment to see him. He can’t say he's too busy when I was his appointment, but of course I had used my alias.

I made my way up the modern building and sat in the waiting area. I had my dreads tied in a bun and had shaved the sides. I’m sure KG would be shocked by that, he always told me he liked my dreadlocks, even though I had wanted to cut them. I had worn a white button–down shirt, black slacks, formal shoes and a dark navy blazer. I completed the look with my spectacles. I was trying to appear professional for my 'boyfriend.' The secretary finally signalled for me to go to his office; I was getting stares as I walked. I guess the way 'I swayed my hips' had them hip-noticed. I walked into his modern office space and was greeted by a shocked look.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as he rushed over to me, to shut the door and make sure no one had noticed me.

“Relax. They think I’m Andre Pineau,” I said as I grabbed a seat.

“Yes, that’s all good but – “ He was panicking.

“I came to see you. I never see you anymore,” I said, looking at him with a sad cast.

“I’ve been busy,” he said, making his way back to his table.

“With your family?” I asked, feigning agony. “It’s like ever since you came out about that, you’ve been distant. Don’t you love me anymore?” I had removed my glasses and started to sniffle.

“Please let’s not do this here. Look, I’ll come over to your place tonight; we can talk.” Something seemed off about him, something was wrong. The way he had said 'my place' instead of 'our place' made me panic. This cannot end on his terms; they had to end on mine. I had to get my revenge. That was the only reason I was there. Did he really think I still wanted to be with him?

“Do you still have my pictures?” I asked as I got up from the chair.

“No… I… I had to remove them because my wife was getting nosey.” He was lying.

“Well, I hope you remember what I look like naked, because that’s what will be waiting for you after work.” I gave him a wink, and walked towards the door. I didn’t want to look at his lust-filled face as I left.

Once outside, I hurried to get a taxi home. I was off that day and wanted nothing to do besides rest and get ready for KG. I was busy cleaning up the apartment and dancing to the music I was playing when I heard a knock on the door. Once there I realised who was there, my excitement reached new levels.

“Girl!” I screamed and ran into my friend's arms.

“Oh, Mother. Look at this place. Why have I never been invited here before?” Thembi asked.

“Well, that’s because you… Well you that you are the problem solver, and besides you know I cannot take you anywhere without ending up single; that’s why you haven’t been invited,” I said with a light chuckle. I led Thembi to the living room, and he just stood and said nothing until I nudged him.

“Girl, this painting is everything,” he said, totally consumed by the painting in the living room. The canvas was a black and white charcoal portrait of me. Well, the painting was of me standing with my back toward the artist, I was posing with my face looking over my shoulder and I had these gigantic black wings coming out of me that reached the ground. The fun part about the painting was that I was butt naked. KG was supposed to have come with me for that, but he wasn’t available. I had become enthralled in the painting as well when Thembi snapped me back to life.

“Speaking about my problem solving abilities,” he said softly. “Here’s that thing we talked about. I guess he must’ve really fucked up to deserve this.”

“I told you he got a wife, right?” I said as I took what was soon to be my new best friend in my hands.

“Yup, and I’m all for revenge, girl. I didn’t travel over three-hundred kilometres for nothing.” Thembi and I laughed, and I showed him the room he was going to stay in for the week.

Thembi and I caught up on things from the past and I told him to stay in his room while I went to fix dinner for KG and me, that is, since I wasn’t sure what time KG would arrive. I went to the kitchen and began making food, and I also got out a nice bottle of wine; I was getting so excited for my date. Everything was going to be beautiful. I had just finished making the red wine sauce when I heard KG come in. Unlike the other times he came in, he didn’t have his briefcase with him. He usually had it and dropped it on the kitchen counter when he walked into the kitchen, then he’d cross the distance between us and kiss me. But none of that happened.

“Baby, you home!” I said in an excited tone.

“Look, I can’t stay for long,” he said as he leaned on the counter.

“Son needs you?” I asked feigning disappointment.

“Yeah…and something else.” He looked pensive; I could tell there was something there.

“Does this have anything to do with you calling our home 'my place,' earlier?”

He shot me a confused look.

“You never called our home my place; you always said it was ours.”

“Well, it is your place now…” An even more contemplative look was on his face. “There’s no easy way to say this, but it’s over. I’m going to stay with my wife; we started to talk and fix things. I know it hurts, but you’ll find someone out there for you. Just like I found my wife.” I looked at him; more like burnt a hole in him. This is what it came down to; this was it?

“NO!” I screamed, and for some strange reason I took the wine glass in my hand and through it at him. He managed to dodge it in time, and the glass just hit the wall and shattered into many pieces. I ran over to him and tried to hit him, but he grabbed me and then threw me on the ground. I was fuming, and for some unknown reason, my eyes were filling up with tears.

“Please calm down. I didn’t want to do this. You a good kid, I really liked you. Damn, you gave me the best sex of my life. I’m sure someone out there will appreciate you.”

I screamed once he said that. I screamed so hard, he just gave me a concerned look, before walking towards one of the drawers and came back with a dishrag.

“Here, you are bleeding,” he said as he squatted in front of me. Once he realised I wasn’t moving he tried to clean it himself.

“Don’t touch me!” I shouted.

“I’m trying to help you,” he retorted.

“You can’t help me!” I said frantically. “What are you going to do with that? Make the AIDS go away?”

Whoops, there it was!

“What?” he exclaimed as he straightened himself up. I also managed to get up and go wash my hand in the kitchen sink. To be honest, I was only washing my hand to buy time; I wanted what I had said to sink in. I wanted him to think about it, and clearly that’s what he did.

“How long have you known?” he asked angrily.

“It’s been five months now,” I said looking down at my hand.

“Five months? Five? I don’t believe you! I don’t fucken believe you.” He was pacing up and down; he had his hands on his head and was pacing up and down. I looked at him and shook my head.

“I’m going to find a bandage,” I said shyly. He didn’t respond, he just kept mumbling something to himself. Once I was in the bathroom, I got surgical spirit and a bandage to clean my wound and wrap it. It stung a little, but at least I was going to get better. I walked back into the kitchen where he was still panicking.

“Here,” I said to him, still in my shy voice.

“What is this?” he asked, still angry.

“It’s the test. I kept it, trying to make sense of it all.” I looked down once he grabbed it.

“FUCK!” he exclaimed. “Who have you been fucking?” he demanded.

“You!” I exclaimed angrily. “I’m not the one whoring around; you’re the one who has a wife and a side-bitch.”

“It’s only you and her! No one else.” He was getting beyond livid. “Who have you been fucking?”

“You, and only you. Ask your wife who she’s been fucking.” As soon as I finished the sentence, he ran up to me and shocked me. He actually put his hand around my neck and held me against the wall.

“She… Don’t you ever talk about her!” There was a danger to him, something that excited me, but too bad I was partway dying. I struggled and tried to loosen his grip. He must’ve realised that I couldn’t breathe, so he took his hand off me. I struggled to get air, but he kept talking.

“You had to have known for longer! It can’t just be a few months, otherwise why wouldn’t you tell me? You should’ve told me before we fucked without a condom.”

“I forgot–” I said once I caught my breath. Even then it was still shaky.

“You forget to put on matching socks in the morning, you forget to start an assignment on time, and you forget to put money in the parking meter. You don’t forget to tell someone you have AIDS!”

“I forgot, just like you forgot to mention that you were married. Maybe you’d love to tell her how you got AIDS!?” I said with a bit of a smug expression on my face. The shock and dread in his face was so real, he honestly didn’t know what to do with himself. He did manage to punch the wall however.

“I’m sorry,” I said, trying to close the distance between us. “I was just caught up in your love. I couldn’t imagine losing you. If I had told you, you would’ve left. You would’ve left like all the others.” I tried to hold him but he just shrugged me off. Before I could say anything else, KG was walking out the door. I started calling after him and making attempts to get him back so we could talk things through, but clearly he wanted none of it.

I tried calling him three times, but there was no answer. I wanted him to talk to me, I wanted him to settle things, get everything sorted out. I decided to give him space, and it took KG three days to get back to me; I remember that day, no, that exact moment. I had just finished with one of my classes and I was walking to the coffee shop on campus to try and figure out a plan of action to get him back. Upon sitting down in the coffee shop, I received a message from him.

“It’s over between us; I never want you to contact me ever again. You put my entire life at risk. I could never forgive you. P.S. I’m negative. Keep your sickness to yourself.”

That’s what it had said. I sat in my chair and reread the sms and couldn’t help but laugh. Poor KG; thinking he was in control of everything. What he doesn’t know is that…

It was not over until I said so.