Just Like Family - 6. Chapter 6: Reason or Rhyme

6 : Reason or Rhyme.

His body ached with regret; he wished he hadn't done a lot of the things that he had done the day before. He wished he hadn't kissed mike that morning and he wished he hadn't hurt adam.

Everyone had left early Saturday morning. Mike hadn't woken until late in the day, leaving Luke to stew in his thoughts.

Now Monday morning before anyone was even up. Luke sat in the loungeroom his guitar in hand; most people didn't know that he played anymore

As he strummed along, he spotted two birds flitting about eachother out of the window. For some reason it made him smile.

The house was finally thawing from the frost that settled that morning and the sunlight that seeped through the curtains hit a hanging ornament flooding the room with rainbow specks.

He stretched out and laid down on the floor, pulling a pillow from the recliner and set it under his head. He stared at the ceiling and motionless fan. Neither he nor Mike had heard from Cole, let alone Adam.

He exhaled deeply. The only things that he knew were his love for Mike was still strong. And that when he got onto the field to play his first game on Tuesday nothing else would matter.

He couldn't hang around much longer, even if that meant going to school early he didn't care, he needed time to think. He grabbed an apple and filled a bottle of water tossing them both into his bag he walked into his room, Mike had begun sleeping in his bed with him over the last few days.

Seeing him sleeping made him happy, he knelt down looked at him and kissed him on the cheek. He left the house shutting the door quietly. He felt his bones scream in protest of the freezing cold.

He set himself on autopilot, his feet taking over and all road safety rules programmed to be automatic. As he did when he had trained himself by jogging every morning.

This is so stupid. I don't even know why I'm upset. I feel confused, stupid, and ashamed. So am I gay? Why can't I answer that question? Hell, I'm sharing a bed with a guy who I consider my boyfriend. If that's not gay then what is? Why can't I say it?

His inner monologue carried him to school. He checked his watch; he had managed to cut a few minutes off his usual time. He found some of his teammates sitting at one of the tables. Most of them were here early as well.

"Luke, man I'm surprised your even here" said a short black haired teenager. The boys called him Reg.

"Why?" Luke asked. Sitting down, he noticed most of the guys acting stand-offish.

"Dude, you haven't heard, people are saying that you're a fag" Reg replied.

The statement made Luke flinch. He didn't know how this had happened. But he wasn't going to sit here and take it. He grabbed his bag and stood up quickly, not even bothering to voice his thoughts on the issue.

"Hey is it true?" Reg asked impatiently.

Luke spun around on him glaring down at the guy who was supposed to be his friend. "You really have to ask that?" Luke spat. "And ya' know what, it shouldn't even matter." He said turning on his heel and walking the opposite direction.

He found a bench where no one else was sitting. And let out a frusterated sight, punching the bench. Immediately realizing how bad of an idea it was. He cradled his hand when his coach came up to him.

"You ok Fraser?" he asked.

"I'm fine coach." He shot back angrily.

"Fine, I'm glad I found you, look, I have some bad news." He said sitting down. "Some of the boys have come to me with some concerns."

Luke couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"They don't want to have someone like you on the team..." his coach explained.

"Someone like me?" Luke asked, he knew what coach meant, he just wanted to hear it for himself.

"They don't want a homosexual on the team." He admitted.

This day was going wrong, and he didn't even know how this rumour had spread so quickly and have his best mates believing it this much.

"Whatever, I don't have time for this." Luke muttered grabbing his bag and leaving his coach to sit by himself. he shocked himself, holding onto his anger rather than lashing out

His morning class was Phys. Ed. As he got changed into his sports gear the guys all shot him furtive glances some of them sneered, others looked on helplessly, these guys were joking along with him the week before. Now they acted as if he had the damn plague.

"Should I just go home!" he yelled after hearing another whisper.

He turned around staring at each of the stunned faces. "Do you know how pathetic you all are!" he growled. "You're supposed to be my mates, and if this is how you treat people who are different, then I don't want you guys as friends." He finished. Walking out fully clothed.

He sat on the steps that led into the library. He couldn't talk to Mike about this, he wouldn't understand. They were too different on this topic.

He was lost in his thoughts when Cole sat down beside him.

"Whats the matter?" he asked casually.

"Some stupid rumour is getting the better of me." Luke laughed, saying it outloud made him feel petty.

"Mmm I thought it might." Cole said. "You know it was Adam right?" he stated.

Luke nodded, in the back of his head he hadn't expected it to be anyone else. "But why, I mean I could tell everyone about him"

Cole grinned, "He planned on that, Luke he's leaving school again." Cole answered.

"Good, I'll be glad when he's gone, maybe I can go back to being straight." He sighed. Cole laughed, Luke hadn't intended on it being a joke.

"Is that what you want?" Cole quizzed him.

"I don't know, sometimes yes, most of the time no." Luke admitted. He loved the feeling of having Mike.

Cole smiled knowlingly. "I understand. You know, I bet Mike feels the same way; like he wishes he could change things because it would be easier" he slugged Luke on the arm playfully. "Besides you know, nothing worth having is easy to obtain." He said sagely.

Luke grinned, he knew Cole was right, but still he didn't want to come out, not just yet.

"So I'll take what you said about Adam to mean he wont be at school anymore?" He asked Cole.

"Yep' that's right and I don't think you should go near the Art rooms, Mrs Bowstock is sort of out for your blood." Cole said half-joking and half-serious.

Luke laughed. "God it's good to laugh." He said

"Glad I could help." Cole said grinning.

They talked until the bell tolled for morning break. Luke hurried off to the schools gym he wanted to do some running on the treadmills to try and clear his head.

He arrived to see Jack Greeton doing weights the sweat pouring off him. he ignored the homophobic pig and started up the machine. As he started to run, he heard the dumbbells clink as they were set down.

"Well if it isn't the new faggot." Jack leered. Now standing at the top of the treadmill.

"Piss off Jack, im not in the mood." Luke growled. After the pain he had put Mike through, this punk was not in his good books.

"To be honest, I don't care if your gay or not." Jack admitted. Luke looked up startled and tripped up on the machine, his face slamming into the spinning rubber and sliding off onto the floor.

He shook it off to the sound of Jack's laughter.

"What are you playing at?" Luke asked cautiously.

"I'm not as homophobic as people think, I'm not going to bag you out, plus you need a gym buddy, it's just the unspoken rule." Jack explained. "Your friend, the other fag.."

"Don't call him or me that." Luke said. Cutting him off.

"Right, sorry. Your friend, I don't hate him. I just wanted him to stop liking me, I was trying to be nice. But I can see how it was an ass of a thing to do." Jack reasoned.

Luke smirked. "That actually makes sense, but don't tell Mike that we're talking. He'll think I betrayed him or something."

Jack eyed him quizzicly. "I have to ask, are you gay or not?"

Luke took a deep breath. "Maybe." He said finally.

"Cool, when you finally decide, make sure I get to know from you, not some stupid rumour." Jack said smiling. "Later." He left carrying a towel leaving Luke sitting on the ground. His face still stinging.

"Wow, what happened to you?" Mike asked checking out all of Luke's bruises, sadly the gym had been less helpful than he thought, all it did was add injury to insult.

"It's nothing." Luke replied casually.

"Okay.." Mike accepted. They walked home together. Luke keeping in everything that had happened.

They got home just as his watch hit four o'clock. He coldnt wait to lie down. They got inside and Luke fell onto the couch. Mike went to sit with him when Luke snapped.

"Can't I have a damn second to myself!" he exclaimed angrily. Mike stepped back in shock; his hurt registering in his eyes. Luke knew this conversation wasn't going to end well the moment the words flew from his mouth.

In truth he normally would have welcomed the contact. Right now he wasn't in the mood.

"I'm sorry.." Mike apologized.

"Damn it Mike, don't apologize. God stand up for yourself." Luke growled, he didn't want to fight, it just came out.

Mike rounded on him, "Are you looking for a fight?" He asked outright. "Or maybe your looking for a way to escape!"

It couldn't end like this, Luke didn't want it to.

"Do you know what happened to me today?" Luke asked rhetorically.

"How the hell would I know? You wont ever open up to me" Mike said

"I got kicked from my footy team, and I'm not allowed to play with them ever again, not to mention the whole school is spreading rumours about me. And us!" He shouted. "It's your fault!"

"My fault? How is this my fault, you're the one that kissed me Luke." Mike retorted. "I'm sorry that that happened I really am. And I'm sorry that the school is talking about us.

Luke wanted to stop. He wanted so badly to stop.

They both stood face to face, neither one backing down. "I'm not backing down, I wont let this ruin us." Mike whispered.

"Maybe you should?" Luke suggested. "Maybe this was as far as we were ever going to get." He said turning to the hallway and walking away. He sat on his bed and silently cursed himself.

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Cole idly played with the phone cord as he waited for Adam to pick up. The text from Mike he got moments ago made him want to kill Adam.

"Hello?" Adam answered happily.

"I'm glad you're so fucking chirpy, you just ruined them!" Cole screeched.

"Whoa, who?" Adam asked stupidly.

"You know who, your ex. Mike and Luke are breaking up. And it is because of you. I know for a fact that Mike didn't want to hurt you, it was bad timing and I admit, originally I was on your side. But now, it was so god damn petty to do what you've done."

He hung up the phone; he didn't want Mike and Luke to fall apart. They were right for each other and neither one of them saw that.

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Adam stood stunned for a moment, when the news that they were breaking up hit his ears he had been overjoyed.

Now all It left was a sour taste in his mouth. He had one chance to fix things, if not for his conscience, then for Cole. Cole had taken him under his wing, introduced him to people. Even if they had done something bad it just made them more human.

He picked up a pen and grabbed lined paper out of his aunt's computer desk, writing what he felt were the two most important letters he had ever written