Broken - 5. Chapter 5 - Powerless

Chapter Five - Powerless

He tried to get escape, flailing his limbs in every direction, hoping that he could break free and escape this nightmare. The eyes that seemed to penetrate to the very core of his soul and the hands that refused to acknowledge that 'No' meant 'No'. Allen felt the vile creature on top of him, no matter what he did or how loud he screamed, nothing seemed to change. No one came running to help, Allen was alone with him

Kyle straddled Allen's chest, refusing to allow him up, afraid that their fun would end. Kyle finally managed to capture both of Allen's wrists with his hands, which brought his face a breath away from Allen's.

"I love it when you play hard to get gorgeous" Kyle said sweetly "But I always get what I want in the end."

Kyle leaned down ever so slowly and then placed his lips on top of Allen's. No matter how hard Allen tried, he couldn't manage to turn his head and break the kiss. It was like his body was frozen, it refused to listen to any command.

The feel of Kyle's lips disgusted Allen. They brought with them the memories of the first time and the thoughts of what was going to happen next. Allen was scared, he felt powerless. His body refused to listen to him, there was nothing he could do to escape the torment that Kyle was going to inflict on his soul.

If only Allen could let out one more scream, maybe someone would hear and come rescue him but like his body, his voice refused too. It was like his body knew what was going to happen, knew there was no point in fighting because fighting was futile and just gave up before the fight even began.

Finally Allen felt Kyle's lips give up on the assault to his lips but to his horror, Kyle started to move down his body, kissing his way down till he made it to Allen's nipples. Kyle made sure that they got special attention.

Allen was devastated that his body betrayed his heart and seemed to respond to Kyle's attention. Allen did the only thing that he still had control of, he closed his eyes, in a vain hope that would make everything stop.

Kyle's assault seemed to end abruptly at Allen's waist.

"Looks like someone is enjoying themselves" Kyle chuckled.

Allen's eyes flew open at Kyle's chuckle, still his body refused to budge. He'd give anything to stop this from happening.

Allen watched helplessly as Kyle moved to claim the prize that he wanted desperately. Kyle presented his Trojan horse to Allen's gate, waiting for it to be accepted. Tears rained down Allen's face, the pain was unbearable.

Allen's eyes locked with Kyle's and before Allen's eyes Kyle's face started to shift. It turned into Matt's, he finally found his voice and he screamed and started to flail again.

"Allen ... Allen ...wake...wake up" he heard.

Matt was trying to shake Allen awake but the nightmare still had a grasp on Allen's mind. He couldn't understand that something so real was but a dream.

"Allen, you were just having a nightmare" Matt said soothingly

"No. No it was so real, I couldn't do anything" Allen said sobbing.

The dam was broken and Allen couldn't control the water works. He had been so scared, finally his brain had processed Matt's words and realized that they were the truth, he clung to Matt like he was a life line.

Matt tried to calm Allen but had no success so he just wrapped his arms around him and held him and let him weep. It hurt to see Allen in pain but he couldn't try to fix it until Allen calmed down and talked out the nightmare.

"It's ok, it was just a dream, and I won't let anyone ever hurt you" Matt promised.

"Ever?" Allen asked through hiccups.

"Never ever" Matt promised.

The tears slowly subsided, Allen eventually got his breathing under control. The warm feeling of being safe in Matt's arms was slowly being eaten away by the thoughts of his nightmare and what had brought on the likes of that nightmare.

Fear was creeping up his spine, he wished he could push it aside and forget about it, he wanted to have faith in Matt, trust the promise that Matt made but what if Matt couldn't or worse wouldn't after everything came to light.

"Come on, you can tell me" Matt pleaded as he ran his hand in a cycle on Allen's back, hoping it had some soothing effect.

Allen buried his head into Matt's chest, he did feel safe in Matt's arms and it scared him. He took a deep breath and pulled his head away from the warming resting place. He was taking a chance he didn't know he had the strength to see through.

"Do you remember the other day, how Kyle invited us over to hang out?" Allen began.

"Yeah" Matt answered not really understanding where this was heading.

"You couldn't go but you told me to go anyway, that it'd be good to hang out with someone else." Allen continued.

A feeling started to grow in Matt, he remembered saying that, how he had pushed Allen to go, thinking it was what Allen needed, but what had that to do with the nightmare, Matt couldn't figure out.

"When I arrived, he said that we were going to go up to his room and play some video games." Allen stated

"Who else went?" Matt inquired.

Allen took a moment before he answered.

"Just me" Allen replied.

The feeling in Matt's stomach was starting to grow and he didn't quite understand why yet. Allen took another deep breath and then continued.

"He said that we were going to play games in his room, we went up and got comfortable. We played a few rounds, and then he did something I didn't expect. "

Curiosity had captivated Matt, what could Kyle have done. He waited for Allen to say but he wasn't so forth coming. He did the only thing he could do, he asked.

"What did he do?"

Allen shifted a little so that he could see Matt's face.

"He kissed me and ...." Allen painfully.

Shock, jealous and even anger ran through Matt, it was not what he expected. He felt a giant desire to hurt Kyle, Allen was his, no matter what happened.

Allen mistook the look to mean that Matt was disgusted with him and tried to pull away afraid of how Matt would react when he told him what happened next. Matt refused to let Allen go, it felt like that was where Allen belonged.

"No don't move hun, this is where you belong. I'm just jealous that he got to kiss you first." Matt expressed quietly and relevantly calm for someone who just have a bomb drop on them.

Allen seemed to relax a little but he was still scared of how Matt would take the rest. The idea of the absolute rejection was killing him, how could someone love someone who was broken. Things that were broken were thrown aside and replaced as soon as possible.

"What else did he do?" Matt asked, steeling himself.

"He ... h-" Allen started but was interrupted by the sound of Matt's cell phone ringing from the night stand where he had put it the night before.

"Sorry" Matt said before he reached over and answered it, there was only one person that would call him that early and he knew he was in trouble.

"Hello?" Matt said

"Didn't we have a talk about calling if you're not coming home mister" Eliz jabbed.

Matt felt guilty, he should have but he totally forgot, he had been so absorbed into Allen. He felt horrible, she probably was up half the night worrying about him. Allen tried again to get up out of Matt's arms but Matt had his one arm securely around Allen, he placed a kiss on Allen's forehead to reassure him that he was fine there and answered his mother.

"I'm sorry Mom, I really forgot. I know I promised."

Allen felt bad that Matt was in trouble because of him but the look that Matt was giving him soon made that feeling disappear, he was loved enough that a little trouble meant nothing.

"Well mister, we'll talk more when you get home from school, I better let you go get ready." His mother said

"Mom?" Matt trying to stall.

"No mister, you're not staying over again." She said as if she could read his mind from that great distance.

"But-" Matt started but was cut off.

"No buts honey, you're to come straight home" Eliz stated strongly

Matt wasn't backing down, he refused to let Allen be alone, the mere idea scared him and if he couldn't stay here then Allen was coming home with him, no matter what his mother said.

"Fine but I'm bringing Allen" he stated just as firm.

Eliz and Allen were both surprised at the firmness of Matt's words, Eliz knew there was no point in arguing with her elder son, he was stubborn just like his mother at times, this being one of those times. Her interest was piqued though, she wondered why he wouldn't leave Allen's side. Eliz kept her questions to herself, she'd wait and see if she could figure it out tonight. A idea already forming in the back of her mind.

"Okay" She told Matt.

"Or if that's not oka-" Matt tried to say but realization of his mother's words finally hit him his words just died. He hadn't expected that his mother would agree so quickly.

"Okay?" he questioned, wondering if he heard right.

"Yes hun, I said okay. Now get ready for school, I'll see you both after school." she said "Remember Straight home"

They both said a quick good bye and Matt hung up and tossed his cell onto the bed. Matt looked at Allen's alarm clock and noticed his mother was right, they had better start getting ready. But Allen had ideas.

"I'm fine, I don't need a baby sitter Matt, I promise I won't try to you know ..." Allen said defensively

"End your life" Matt said bluntly "No I made a promise and I plan to keep it even if it means protecting you from yourself"

Allen felt the pain in Matt's words, he was responsible. Sitting there with the razor in his hand, he never thought how it'd affect the people around him. Now he realized that it was a permanent answer to a fleeting problem.

"It would have killed me to have lost you, even as a friend. You mean so much to me" Matt stated with tears in the corner of his eyes.

Allen took his thumb and wiped away the tears before they had a chance to fall. He leaned in and shared a passionate kiss with Matt.

"I'm sorry" Allen said.

He knew that wasn't going to fix everything but it was a beginning.

***        ***        ***

Fear is one of the most powerful weapons. It has amazing power over everyone at some point in their lives. But only someone that is truly evil and without a conscience would use someone else's fear against them without a second thought. Someone who had forsaken their own heart just to get what they wanted.

Someone like that has been consumed by the deadly sins. These people would sell their own mother to achieve their goals, it's disgusting.

Kyle sat in the very loud and crowded cafeteria and watched what was going on across the room. Something was different between Matt and Allen. Kyle didn't like what he saw and he would have to put a stop to it before it got worse. He would fight for what he believed was rightfully his. He had laid claim first, he had taken Allen's virginity, not Matt.

He knew he had to remind Allen of this, he was not going to share him, he refused. Especially with Matt, definitely Matt, he'd make sure of it. He stood up and threw out the rest of his lunch, no longer hungry. He needed the time anyways to hatch a plan, his eyes locked onto a poster on the wall, a plan was beginning to form. A chance was but waiting for him, only a fool wouldn't take it.

***        ***        ***

Allen had noticed Kyle watching them at lunch, he had lost his appetite after that. Matt had noticed but didn't say anything. Allen never got the chance to finish his story that morning, Matt's mom had interrupted it and then they had to hurry and get ready. The best thing about that morning was being able to see Matt naked even if it was because Matt refused to allow him to shower alone.

A blush flashed on his face, just the thought of Matt naked made his heart race and something else to rise. Allen tried to discreetly rearrange himself into a comfortable position but it wasn't missed by Matt. It seemed to bring a smile on Matt's face as if he knew what Allen was thinking about.

Allen's thoughts were interrupted when he was nudged in the shoulder.

"I said, are you sure you're feeling better? You barely touched your food" inquired Mark.

Mark was someone that Matt and he sometimes shared lunch with, when he wasn't sitting with his other friends. Matt and Allen didn't really know his other friends, they had seen them around and shared a class or two but never really spoken more than one or two words let alone a full sentence.

Mark wasn't the only one they shared their table with, sometimes Eric, Matt's brother sat with them and until recently Jennifer did too. Sometimes Eric or Mark would bring a friend but usually that wasn't often, no matter who was there Allen normally wasn't much into the conversations of late so was surprised when Mark was talking to him.

"Yeah, was just thinking" Allen said as he stabbed a fry and cheese curd with his fork and then popped it in his mouth.

"About?" Mark inquired further

The blush returned to Allen's face even brighter than the last time.

"Nothing" Allen said as the blush burned on his face.

"Doesn't look like nothing" Mark teased

"Was someone day dreaming about someone" Mark continued

Allen's cheeks seem to burn even hotter and it only seemed to make Mark and Matt smile harder. Matt knew that Mark had hit the mark on the spot and was enjoying watching him tease Allen about it. It seemed to have lifted Allen's mood somewhat.

"I know I'm gorgeous Allen but I'm taken, I don't think my girlfriend would approve." Mark said teasingly

Allen choked on some fries which seemed to make the two other guys laugh. After he managed to swallow the fries, he smiled, two could play this game.

"Sorry Mark to disappoint but I like real men." Allen chirped back

"Burn dude" Matt said.

All three were soon laughing their heads off, Matt was pleased to see a smile upon Allen's face. It seemed to relieve some of the anxiety that Matt had. It seemed to help restore Allen's appetite too. When they left finally left to get ready for their next classes, Allen was stuffed and rather relaxed, more than he had been in what seemed a while.

Between each class Matt was always there to walk Allen to his next, Allen thought it was sweet and appreciated seeing Matt's smiling face greeting him at the door. It made it easier to make it through his classes, knowing that at the end of the class he'd glaze upon an angel, his angel.

Allen was having trouble controlling himself, the desire to kiss Matt at times was really over powering. He had to shake his head and remind himself that he was at school and he wasn't ready to be out, if he ever would be ready for that.

One of those moments was when they were at Allen's locker. Matt was leaning on Allen's neighbour's locker and was just chatting away, he looked so damn sexy. Allen distracted, opened his locker and was brought back to reality when he noticed out of the corner of his eye a piece of paper fall to the floor.

The paper was folded with his name written on it, but it wasn't his writing nor Matt's. Curiosity sparked but they were in a hurry, Matt's mom expected them home soon so he picked it up and stuffed it in his bag with his homework. He'd investigate it out later, he wondered who it could be.

Matt was just as curious but he kept it to himself for the moment. They walked over to Matt's locker so that he too could swap his stuff and then they could head home. Allen wondered as he watched Matt dig through his locker how mad Matt's mom would be.

Matt and Allen had been friends since well forever so he knew Matt's mom well. Allen wouldn't call her strict, she had rules and believed they should be followed but that was only to ensure her kids stayed save and so she didn't have to worry.

She was the type of mother he wished his was, instead he got graced with one that didn't give a damn. Eliz always made him feel welcome in her house, always asked him about his grades or how his day went, just thinking about her made his heart beam with love but dread soon marched in. What would she think if she ever found out that he loved her son like boys were supposed to like girls, would she be disappointed or be elated, probably disappointed. Would all the years and all the memories that all shared mean nothing, would she hate her own son for what he was, only time knew and it was silent.

Allen was knocked out of his thoughts by the sound of Matt's locker clicked shut. He ran over a mental list of everything he needed tonight, just to make sure he had everything. Allen didn't want to stay too long at Matt's house. He still needed to tell him about Kyle and he feared Matt wouldn't want him around after either. Allen was a little nervous, Eliz always knew when something was wrong and could easily pluck it out of him.

The ride to Matt's was quick, he only lived a few blocks away from the school. Allen parked on the side of the street in front of Matt's place like he usually did when he came over and just sat there for a few moments. He was in a kind of daze so when Matt leaned over he didn't notice but he sure did feel the nice warm soft lips kiss his.

"Come on, we'll go up to my room so we can talk some more" Matt said after breaking the kiss.

Allen wanted more of those lips, it was quickly becoming an addiction to him, they tasted, well tasted like Matt. It was so tough not to steal another taste of them.

Allen finally unbuckled his seat beat and got out before he attacked Matt and ravaged his sexy body. Matt followed suit and got out too and followed right behind to the front door. They both took off their shoes as soon as they got in and was met by Eliz, Matt's mom and an amazing smell.

"Kettle's on boys, there's also fresh cookies. Help yourself to a few." Eliz said shuffling them to the kitchen.

The whole house was filled with the smell of fresh baked cookies, it brought with it a nice warm feeling in each of the boys. Eliz's cookies were mouth watering goodness, nothing could compare. It was a simple recipe she had shown her boys and Allen a number of times but no matter how many times they tried they were never the same.

She always quipped that love was just as important as the next ingredient. The young boys didn't quite get what she was saying, how could love be put in a cookie. Looking at the plate on the counter Matt finally got what she meant so long ago. Nothing blossomed correctly without love.

Matt grabbed three mugs, one for each of them and popped a tea bag into each and then steeped them. After a few moments he tossed the bags away and poured in what each took in their tea before handing it to each person.

Just as baking was entwined in their growing up so was tea, it was the cure-all for all. If Matt had an upset stomach, Eliz gave him tea, if Eric was having trouble sleeping after a nasty nightmare, she'd give him tea too. It was what her mother taught her, who was taught by her mother and so forth.

While Matt had brewed the tea, Eliz had set each placement with a saucer, she served herself a couple of cookies while she gave the boys five each. The boys could work the extra calories off unlike her, they went straight to her thighs, oh to be young and able to eat anything.

"Now will someone please tell me what's been going on?" Eliz demanded

"No-" Matt tried to say before he was cut off by his mother.

"Don't even think about saying nothing mister" she stated "I know something has be bothering both of you."

She turned and looked at Allen. "You haven't been around in a while and normally you practically live here, and you" She said turning in Matt's direction. "Have been locked in your room, only to come out to scurry over to Allen's, without permission I might add."

Silence followed, they knew they were stuck between a rock and a hard place. Matt looked at Allen and Allen locked eyes with Matt. After a moment Matt turned and looked at his mother and looked her in the eye and took a deep. It felt like something was stuck in his throat.

"I'm gay" Eliz heard, she turned toward the statement and was a little shocked.

"What?!" came from the doorway of the kitchen, the voice startling them.

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