Green's A HERO IN THE HALLWAYS REVISED - 3. Part Three: WAIT

I ran after him but I couldn't reach him. He ran faster as I got closer, and I couldn't run anymore. "Craig,” I yelled but he disappeared in the distance.

"Come, John. Come for me," he yelled, from somewhere ahead.

I was out of breath and I was sweating. I began to cough and doubled over. From behind, somebody grabbed me.

"No!" I screamed.

"John! Wake up. Wake up.” Mel was standing next to me. She looked worried. "John, how long have you been having nightmares?"

"I haven't in a long time. This one seemed so real. I was chasing Craig, but he got away from me. Then somebody grabbed me from behind and said, gotcha."

Mel sits next to me. She looks worried and tired. "I looked at your book. Why did you stop at the part where Charlie hit you?"

"I had to take a break. It's exhausting. All this information, I need time to process it."

"Like Craig?" she asked me and I nodded yes.

"I want to see him,” I said. Craig used to call me every day, but after a while I just wouldn’t answer the phone. I never really understood why he had wanted to speak with me so much. I didn’t know.

"Oh boy,” Mel said. “That may be harder for you than you think."

“Is he mad at me?”

"No. Well, let's just say he's a little disappointed in you."

"I was such a jerk to him,” I said.

“No honey, he's not mad. When you had your accident he was at the hospital for days until they let him see you. When he saw that you didn't remember him his heart broke. He hasn’t been the same Craig. He doesn’t talk to any of us. Meghan had to literally break down his door to get him to talk to her."

"I did this," I said, feeling awful.

"John, trust me, he doesn't blame you,” Mel said, sitting next to me. “He understands. He just needs to believe you’re there for him too."

I was overwhelmed. Every time I learned something new it threw my whole life out of whack. Hearing about Craig made me feel guilty. If the book was right I owed Craig more than I had given him these last two years. I was slowly beginning to see how much he meant to me. He meant everything.

"Do you think they like Italian food? It's the only thing I know how to make well."

"They?" I ask.

"Yeah. Meghan is bringing her boyfriend. He was agood friend of yours and you introduced them."

"Who is her boyfriend?"

"His name is Aaron."

"And how do I know him?" I ask as she smiles.

"I need to go to the store for some stuff you don't have, like food. Do you know where the closest market is?" she completely avoided my question as she opened the door to my pantry.

"You don't have to leave just order it from the store. They deliver," I said, pulling out a set of plates.

"God, you are lazy. I never asked you to come with me, just where the market is located."

"It's two blocks south. Just ask Randy to point you in that direction."

"Wow, what a gentleman," she joked.

"I just don't feel like going out."

"It's alright John. I was just teasing you."

After Mel leaves, the dream drifts into my thoughts again. It felt so real. I knew that voice. "Gotcha," It repeats over and over in my mind. How do I know that voice?

The phone rings, and knocks me out of my thoughts.

"Hello." No one answers. I heard hard breathing on the other end. "Who is this?" Again no one answers.

I ended the call and dialed my parents’ number. The phone rings three times before my father picks up.

"Hi dad; it's John."

"Hey kiddo, I just saw you on the television. Mom taped it. You were great,” he says and I can sense the enthusiasm and expectation in his voice. They had been so patient for so long. Never pushing me and supporting whatever decision I have made for the last two years.

"Thanks dad. Um, I have a question to ask you," I said, hoping that he could give me the answer.

"Go ahead, John."

"Do you know Craig's phone number?" He was quiet for a while. When he finally does speak he asks me a question himself.

"John, are you sure you are ready for that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well he's been through a lot. I think that maybe you should wait. Listen, I know that's the last thing you want to hear, but trust me son. You’d do good to wait."

"I guess you’re right, dad,” I said, defeated again. I was nearing my breaking point but I wouldn’t take it out on my dad even if he became another wall.

"You know, we are always here for you. Remember that."

"I know dad, thanks," I said, feeling deflated. There must have been so many things wrong that they were working so hard to keep me in the dark. I wanted to scream.

"Hey, how’s your new book coming along?" Dad says, sensing my disappointment and quickly changing the topic.

"To tell you the truth, I haven't written in a while," I said, looking at my desk in the living room.

"Oh well, that's OK. I think you have a lot on your plate right now. Just ride it out and then go back. Things will pour out of your mind."

"Thanks dad."

"You’re welcome. Do you want to talk to mom?"

"No, that's OK. I'll call tomorrow. I have to fix up the place a little."

"Ok John. Call if you need us," he said, before I ended the call.

The phone rang again.

"Hello."

"Hi john," said a cold voice on the other end.

"Who is this?"

"Don't you know?"

"How would I know who this is?" I asked as her voice sent chills down my back. I had heard from another author, that a fan had stalked him. I wondered if this was one of those crazy fans.

"You said you started to read the book. I saw you on TV. You said that," said the voice.

"Who is this?"

"Oh, don't act like you don't know me John! I know you know me. Be careful, I might just come back and finish what I started. You ruined my life twice, John. It won't happen again,” she said and I knew.

"Helene," I said. “What do you want?”

"Oh, now you know me,” She said. “I just wanted to chat. That’s all.”

"You are crazy!" I yelled.

"Yeah, that's what they say” I could hear the amusement in her voice.

"Don't call here anymore."

"John, it’s just a matter of time before . . ." Mel ended the call before she could finish. I didn't even hear her come in.

"She can’t do anything John. Don't worry about her," Mel said, taking the phone away from me.

"I wonder how she got my number,” I asked.

“She must have found it on the Internet," she says, handing me a grocery bag. "She's known to be very informed."

"That's scary."

"Hey, why don't you go read some more and I'll fix dinner." I left the kitchen with that on my mind. What if she really could get to me?

From Hallway Hero

You never really know what you can do until you are tested. I thought about that when I saw him on the ground, asking me to stop. When he hit me everything I had been holding inside concentrated and exploded. I attacked Charlie, punch after punch until he went down. When he asked me to stop, I got angrier. Every time I hit him I tasted revenge.

"John, stop, please," he yelled.

"No!" I yelled before I kicked him. I wanted to hurt him. "You want to fucking hit me?"

"John, please stop, I'm sorry," he begged, but I wasn’t done. A few other kids were watching and I could see the principal heading our way with a security guard.

"Fuck you!" I said and let out the loudest Scream I had ever, before I kicked him again. I walked away and headed out of the school.

I had never been that angry in my life. I got into my car and drove. My cell phone was ringing, but I didn't answer it. I had to get away as fast as I could. I didn’t recognize myself. Could I be that person? Was I that person now?

My cell phone beeped with a text from Craig. “Meet me at the cliff,” the message said. I sighed and drove as fast as I could to meet him.

A few minutes later I was standing at the ledge of the cliff. How easy it could all end here for me I thought. I could just jump and let it all go. No more whispers, no more Charlie, no more John. “But what about Craig,” my conscious asked me. I sighed as if the universe had called for my sanity. Craig put his arms around me.

"Hey," he said.

I turned towards him and broke down in his arms. "I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it." He just held me tighter and let me cry.

"I know John, it’s OK, I'm here,” Craig said and held me.

The next day at school I was escorted to the principal’s office. I saw Charlie sitting outside. He had a black eye and several cuts on his face, along with a split lip. He looked like shit. He scowled at me.

"What, you want more?"

"Fuck you, John," he yelled back before the security guard pulled me into the principal’s office.

“Sit down and shut up,” the guard said, leaving me alone with Mr. Peterson.

Mr. Peterson was mad, and I could tell by the look on his face that his anger was directed straight at me. "John I do not know what to do with you. What did you promise me?"

I just stared at him.

"You promised me that you wouldn't fight again. I can’t have that in my school, John. I have to suspend you. I wouldn't have done it, because it was provoked, but you left the school and that's an automatic suspension. John, I really thought you were better than that. I am disappointed."

To hear my boyfriend’s father say that about me hurt. I guess I let my pain get the better of me.

"Now leave, and don't come back until next week."

I glared at Charlie as I left his office. I hated him. I visualized my hands around his neck, strangling him. He wouldn’t look at me anymore.

I spent the next week at home. My parents had decided that I couldn't leave the house. Craig wasn't allowed to come over, because he was also suspended. Meghan brought my homework to me everyday after school.

My father took me outside one afternoon after dinner. He wanted to talk. I was nervous because my father never did this.

"John, don't tell your mother, but I am proud of you. I thought that, just because you were gay, you couldn't defend yourself. I was afraid you would be hurt. When your school called me to tell me you had been in a fight, I was afraid. I was ready to go bust some heads, but when I heard what you did, I was ready to cheer. I'm glad that you are a man, and I am glad that you are my son."

"Dad, you’re going to make me cry."

"Well, maybe three quarters of a man," he said, and then he laughed as he hugged me.

"Hey, that’s not nice," I said.

"You’re my boy and, from what I hear, Craig can also throw a mean punch. I guess I really don't have to worry about you," he said, and then we walked back inside. I loved my parents, and things like what my father just said reminded me how much so.

My mother just smiled at me when she saw me getting along with my father, like she knew I was lucky to have them. My parents were great weren't they? I wondered how they got so cool.

On the second day of my suspension Mel came to my door. She nervously waited until I opened the door. "Oh John," she said, reaching for me. She stopped when she realized she didn't have that privilege anymore.

"What do you want, Mel?"

"I came to talk."

I really didn't want to talk to her but the way she looked told me something was up.

"Why? Mel, we aren't friends anymore and I don't think we can be." I stopped when I saw Michael, outside, sitting on the hood of his car crying."

"What happened?"

"I was suspended," she said uncomfortably.

"Why?"

"I tried to kill Helene."

I laughed really hard. Mel shared an uneasy look with Michael. The thought of Mel trying to choke Helene made me feel good inside. As much as I hated them, I had to admit that they were trying to be my friends again. "Come in, Mel," I looked at Michael and signaled him to come in too.

"So why did you try to kill Helene?" I asked when we were in my living room.

"She told Charlie about you and that guy," Mel answered me.

My face turned red. Helene had gone too far. "His name is Craig."

"We just wanted to know if you were OK," Michael added.

"I'm alright. I can fend for myself."

Mel and Michael shared a glance and Michael sighed. "John, we also wanted to apologize. We want things to be the way they were."

"I accept your apology, but I don't think I," I stopped when I saw the pain in Michael’s eyes. They were trying I had to remind myself. "I miss you, I really do, but I cant."

Mel walked out the door. Michael just stood there looking at me. "You can't do this John. Were assholes but Helene got us too. Mel is lost. She blames herself for everything. She cries herself to sleep at night because she feels so guilty."

"Michael I can't. If I do, I lose," I said, a little surprising myself.

"We need you John. She needs you."

To tell you the truth, I needed them, but the fact that they betrayed me for selfish reasons still stung. Would I have done the same thing if I were forced to do it? I probably would have, but the fact that they tried to make things right spoke for the type of friends they were and I could see in his face that he was being sincere. I felt the cracks breaking down my walls.

"Wait here a moment," I said, as I headed out of the house. I ran down the street where I saw Mel walking. "Mel, wait up," I yelled but she just kept on walking. I ran up until I caught up to her.

"Mel, I'm sorry."

She looked at me for a long time, and then said, "John, I am poor. I'm poor. Helene told everyone because I wouldn't help her break you and Craig up."

"It's all right, Mel, It's okay," I said hugging her. She hugged me tight.

"No John, It's not. You don't understand. I have nothing. I don't even have a house. Helene made sure of that. They kicked us out, and my mother left town with some guy and left me here alone. I’ve been sleeping in my car."

That’s it Helene had to be stopped. I wanted to go and kill Helene. "Mel, you can stay with me. Does Michael know?"

"No, he doesn't. I can’t tell him he’d kill Helene. He doesn't know anything."

"You know, Mel, you have to let him in," I said.

“Not like this,” was all she said and I took her hand guiding her back to my house.

"He really cares about you and I know you care about him so cut him some slack," I whispered as we got back to my house. Mel gave Michael the same gaze Craig and I gave each other.

She smiled "I like him John, I think I'm in love with him but, with everything that's been going on.” She leaves it at that and I understand. Michael was a great guy.

My parents were furious about the situation and notified the cops about Mel's mother. They set her up in one of the guest rooms, and welcomed her with open arms like she was their daughter.

I needed to do one more thing to make it right. I opened the door to his office. He was on the phone, but he motioned me to sit. I waited patiently and nervously for him to finish.

"So John, what can I do for you," he said coldly, while reading the papers he picked up from the desk. “You shouldn’t be on school grounds you know.”

"I need to speak with you about some things."

He stopped reading and looked at me. "Go ahead."

"I want to apologize for breaking that promise. I need to feel that you are I are OK, sir, and not just because you are my principal. I want to think of you as a friend and as family. You see, you brought Craig back into my life and I want to thank you for that."

He walked around his desk and hugged me. "John, we are good. I already think of you as family. Craig never smiled before you guys got together. He was afraid of being himself, because of what that school did to him. John, I'm glad you're in his life because, when you are with him, he is himself."

"I know, sir." He smiled at me, and I smiled back; it felt good. We were square, and it made my relationship with Craig valid.

“I also need to apologize to you. I am sorry for not knowing about you and my son before he was sent away. He never spoke of you after I found him so I was not aware of your connection.”

“It’s alright sir,” I said appreciative of what he was saying. He nodded and I left his office feeling a lot lighter.

On the last day of my suspension my parents eased up and said I wasn’t grounded anymore, allowing Craig and I time to spend time alone at the cliff. We sat for hours enjoying watching the waves hit the rocks. He still counted the time in-between wave crashes.

"Do you think we'll last for ever?" Craig asked me.

"I don't know. I just hope we enjoy the time we do spend together."

He seemed to take what I said to heart, and we sat in silence as the sun set. The drive home was also silent, and we kissed as we reached my house.

"Someday we'll be old, and I hope we'll still be together. I hope you love me as much as I love you."

"You know I love you. Someday that might change but, at this moment, that isn't likely," I said. He nodded and then he kissed me again. I smiled as he drove away. Life was perfect.

Michael and Mel got closer and saw each other more and more as the weeks flew by. Craig and I were inseparable again. Megan was like a pillar of strength between all of us. She and Mel also got close.

The school situation was getting tougher for all of us. The dream team now had their hands full tormenting us Including Charlie who was also now officially dropped. They even started on Meghan.

Michael seemed to take it the hardest, and not just about him. Every time they would taunt Mel about being poor, he got angry. I would try to calm him down, but it was of no use. Eventually he broke.

He started skipping school and just avoiding everyone, and that took a toll on all of us. Mel didn't know what to do. He would go out of his way to avoid her most. We would go days without talking. Mel always came home crying. I tried to confront him about it, but he said he was fine.

It came to the point where we just didn't see him anywhere but in school. I wondered if Helene had something to do with him being like this. I saw him sitting alone, by a tree, at lunch.

"Michael," I called out as I approached him.

"Hey," he answered back.

"What’s going on?"

He didn't answer and I was getting annoyed. "You know, for somebody that used guilt to get me to be their friend again, you are not doing a good job of keeping up your end."

"And what is that supposed to be, a joke John? You don't know anything."

"How could I know if you don't tell me?"

"I like her John, but I can't date her. My parents know, John. Helene made sure they knew she was poor. They don't want me near someone like that."

"What about the punk kids in your band? You hang around with them don't you?"

"No, John, I dropped out of the band."

"Then tell me Michael. Make me understand. Tell me,” I yelled and I could see the pain form in his eyes.

He nodded as tears left his eyes. "John, I'm sick. I'm dying."

The world stopped. My heart gave out. How could life be so cruel? "How long have you known?" I was barely able to ask. My knees felt week so I sat next to him.

"A couple of weeks. I want to be there for her John. I need to be." I gave him a huge hug. "I don't want her to suffer over me, John. I don't want her to be in pain."

We stayed by the tree talking about what was happing. Michael was scared understandably so. I was so wrapped on what Helene was doing to me that I was neglecting my friends.

It could never get better could it? We could never win. If I told you that Helene wasn’t done you wouldn’t believe me.

For the next few weeks I spent as much time as I could with them. I also made sure Michael could spend as much time as he wanted with Mel. Even if his parents didn’t approve of it, I always found a way to arrange it. I also made time for Meghan and of course Craig.

But Helene had other plans. Her taunts were becoming boring and the Dream team was getting bored with her. It seemed like she was slowly Descending back to her own place. Eventually she found a way to raise herself up again. She went after what mattered to me the most.

Craig had left me. Helene made sure of that. It was the final step she had to take. She had enacted her evil manipulative revenge. I was now nothing compared to her. She won, and I lost. I understood that, and I began to believe that I deserved it.

“Craig I walk through the school, careless. I don't care anymore. In some ways, I am not alive. Not without you. I could say that I am sorry for not telling you about Dominick. I could say a lot of things but that look on your face will always be with me and I am not sure if I have it in me to face you again. I love you and I hope you know that. I hope you can understand that I would never do anything to change that. I will miss you. Bye Craig." I read the letter to myself before I put it in his locker.

I looked at his locker one last time before I walked away. I wouldn’t see him again. Helene had ambushed me. She sent Dominick to kiss me. I was waiting for Craig at the end of the school day. Dominick approached me.

“Remember me,” Dominick said stepping front of me with a wicked smirk. “You look good John.”

I stepped away not wanting to break my promise to Mr. Peterson again. I wouldn’t let Dominick push me any further. I started to head towards my car but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me hard onto him planting a huge kiss on me.

“Get the fuck off me,” I said pushing him hard away from me but the damage was done. Craig had seen us, and Dominick had a huge smirk on his face.

“My work is done,” Dominick said, walking away.

Craig had seen enough of the exchange but not the end. He ran as fast as he could and I couldn’t catch up to him. I watched as he jumped into his car and sped off. That whole miserable night I tried everything I could to explain but nothing worked. He wouldn’t answer calls or texts. I tried to talk to him at his house but he wasn’t there.

The next morning at school someone had taped photos of Dominick kissing me all over my locker. Craig was standing in front of it ripping the photos off. One look from him, when he saw me and I knew we were through. I walked away feeling the lowest I had ever felt in my life.

My parents were waiting to take me new school the next town over. Mr. Peterson, Mel and Michael were the only people who knew. I couldn’t stay here any longer. Helene and Dominick would stop at nothing and I would never recover from their latest blow.

I saw Craig as we drove away. He saw me, and then turned away, breaking me into a million pieces. I couldn’t control the tears as they fell from my face.

My mom held my hand as we pulled away. "Don't worry honey, he'll come back," my mother said. I couldn't find comfort in her words. "I'm sure deep down he knows it's not your fault."

"I never told him about Dominick," I said to myself. That was our end.

Mayberry High was so different from Lakeside that I felt like I was in a new world. The rules of popularity didn’t apply here. While there were still clicks there, they were made up of common interest rather than the fear of not being a part of something. Sure there would always be gossip and people that didn’t like each other but no one ever had a problem with what you wore, or who your friends were.

I made new friends easily at my new school. This time, however, I wouldn’t hide myself but I became someone new. I was a new cold version of myself. I was never happy, and I very rarely showed who I was before. I treaded carefully. I guess you could say I sort of grew up. I survived Helene. She had won and completely erased my miserable existence from her life. Here I was rebuilding myself. A new John Williams.

I made friends with David. He introduced himself on my first day. “Welcome to Mayberry,” David said sitting next to me in one the classes we shared. He was tall and had long black hair. He seemed to get a long with everyone in the school and I felt at ease around him. We became good friends. He was relentless about getting me to open up. I just couldn't, The John I was stayed in the past and I had to keep it there.

David’s girlfriend, Sheryl also became a close friend. She was the female version of David with long black hair and green eyes. If I hadn’t seen them making out I would think they were related.

They became good friends but I told them nothing of who I was before. As far as they were concerned, I was just this quiet gay kid who had little to say. They tried endlessly to get me to date, but I was still missing Craig and no one could ever compare to him.

“Honey if you keep saying no, how do you expect to get laid?” Sheryl said, causing David to choke on his milk. We were sitting outside during lunch. Sheryl and David were leaning against each other and I sat across from them on a bench. I was trying hard to get through my English reading, but Sheryl was trying to introduce me to some guy she had met during her drama class.

“I’m not sure if I want to go to a party,” I said. “And I’m not interested in dating.”

“You can’t miss my party,” David said. “Everyone is coming.”

“Come on John, Julian will be there,” Sheryl, added. “He’s literally dying to meet you.” Julian was one of the drama kids that Sheryl was friends with in her Drama class. He was in my writing class and always stared at me. I wasn’t ready for that.

“Guys it’s just not my thing ok?” I said but Sheryl wasn’t done.

“Pretty please,” Sheryl said giving me puppy dog eyes. Maybe it was time for me to move on.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Fine, but tell this Julian guy I’m not interested,” I said and left for my next class.

A few days later I was at David’s house ringing the doorbell. I could hear the music blasting from the outside. Some kids were hanging outside passing cigarettes and cups. I wanted to walk away but something was telling me to stay. This was my chance to erase the past. I had to be here and deep down I knew that. David answered the door and handed me a plastic cup of beer.

"Here, you need this more than I do. Say hello to some people and please, for the life of me, have some fun tonight," David said, pulling me into the house. "Hey everyone, this is my good friend John. Say hello to him and make him feel at home. If you see his cup empty, please fill it," he yelled to everybody in his house. I waved pathetically and smiled as David guided me in.

I talked to a few people and found that I was actually having a good time. I played a game of Beer pong against a couple of football players. With David as my partner we won the game.

Someone handed me a joint which I quickly passed to someone else and moved further into David’s house, following David as he introduced me some of the of the other kids.

“Hi I’m Julian,” said a tall blonde kid. I had to admit he was really attractive and it was making me nervous. I wasn’t ready for this. “I heard a lot about you.”

“Julian cut it out,” David said very rudely and part of me was grateful. “He’s not interested. Come on John, I think we need refills.”

“Asshole,” Julian muttered under his breath as I walked past him, following David to the kitchen.

“Thanks,” I said and David Shrugged.

"You know, one day you will find a guy that will have you head over heals, and what then?" David asked, as he filled my second cup of beer. "Are you going to let him get away?" If only he knew.

"I'm just not in that state of mind," I said hoping he would change the subject.

"Well, when you think you are ready, let me know. I know a few guys that are ready to jump on you.”

Great. Now he was making me blush. At least he tried. Sheryl wasn't as discreet. She always made sure I talked to the other kids in class but now we had free range. She dragged me around like a rag doll, from guy to guy, making sure I knew all the cute guys.

"John, if you don't meet them then they will never know you exist," she said as I protested.

"I don't want to date any of these guys, Sheryl," I said.

“Nonsense. Everybody wants a hot date," she said, dragging me to the next guy. I felt like a man charity case. I guess if someone were moping around I’d probably feel like it was my duty to cheer him or her up too. So I followed her.

David’s house wasn't that big, I noticed when I tried to hide from a now drunk Julian who seemed to follow me like I was his prey. David didn't have everything I had, but that never stopped him from having a good time. His friends all greeted me, one by one. I struck up a conversation with some kid I had met before, and watched as some other kids tried to play a game of drunken twister. I was enjoying myself. These people didn't come with the pretentious bullshit that the kids Lakeside came with. They were just having fun.

I was sitting on a couch, a little buzzed, when some kid came and sat next to me. "Do you remember me?" he asked. “We used to be friends, a couple of years ago. I was dropped from the pack. I moved here about a year ago. It's Aaron, John."

I looked closely at his face. "Aaron?”

“The one and only,” he said with a huge smile.

"Aaron! Wow, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you."

"Yeah, people never recognize you when you get better looking," he said jokingly. "But seriously, what brings you to good ole Dave's house?"

"Well, that is a long story, one that I'm not sure I'm ready to share."

"They don't know, do they?" Aaron said and I could feel the anxiety rising in me. I wasn’t ready to have this conversation with anyone but he way Aaron was looking at me told me he wasn’t a threat.

I nodded. "I'm not sure how to tell them. I'm happy here. I can't change that, not now."

"I understand more than you know. Trust me my friend. I used to think that life only consisted of what I wore, what I drove, and whom I talked to. That was until I met the new love of my life, skate boarding,” he said and we shared a laugh. “Here life is different. I don't have to go out of town to skateboard."

"I like it here," I said, looking down at my cup.

"But?" He added.

"I miss someone," I said. Aaron nodded as he took out a bottle of something.

“Want some?” he asked me and I raised my glass. He poured some into my cup. I was enjoying myself and Aaron seemed like a cool guy.

"Look at all these people. They all look happy, don't they?" I nodded. "Deep inside, some of them have real problems. Some of them are shit poor, but they fit in because they are truly good people."

"I never understood that before," I said, taking in the people at the party. Everyone seemed different from each other. Jocks with Goths, Cheerleaders drinking with the drama kids and I saw some of the AP kids playing beer pong with the skaters and they were all having fun.

"At Lakeside there is nothing to understand. That will never change. They need to feel better than other people to give value to their miserable lives. Do you know why they kicked me out? Or should I say why Charlie kicked me out?"

"Because you skated with the skaters?" I asked but he shook his head.

"That was the piece of gossip they used. But it's not the reason they kicked me out. Charlie kicked me out because I was going to tell people that he tried to rape me. He waited for me in the locker room after practice one night. He was in the showers when I went in. He waited until I was done and then came up behind me. He tackled me, and then tried to get on me. I felt his dick near my ass and I panicked. I knew what he wanted. I somehow managed to turn over and I kneed him in the balls. I ran away."

"Oh my God, did you tell anyone?"

"No. I was too afraid. I ran home in my towel. I went straight to my room. I just lay in bed and cried myself to sleep. The next time I went to school they had spread that rumor. I no longer belonged. I was erased."

“Now I’m glad I kicked his ass,” I said.

“You kicked his ass?”

I told him my story. He listened. I told him about Meatball and her cousin. I told him about Mel and Michael. I even told him about Charlie. He just listened intently as I talked. I had never told anyone the complete story. At some point David and Sheryl came in and sat by me listening. I started to cry when I began to speak of Craig. Sheryl held me as I told them about how long I waited for him and how I lost him.

I felt free of everything for the first time in weeks. I let it all go at that moment and I could literally feel myself rising. "I'm sorry Dave. I didn't mean to ruin your party," I said, a little embarrassed.

"John, honestly, I'm glad you felt you could tell us about your life," Dave said, patting me on the back.

After awhile everyone joined the party again. Aaron and I shared a few more drinks before he showed me the back yard where a few of the other kids were hanging out.

“Hey let me show you something,” Aaron said and motioned for me to follow and we walked through the yard until we were on a park.

“You know how you told me about the cliff?” Aaron asked. I nodded. “This is my place.”

I followed him to a small skate park. We sat at the edge of a bowl shaped hole that looked like an empty pool.

“What do you think?” he asked me.

I smiled and looked around. “It looks like an empty pool,” I said and he laughed.

“I always come here when I’m having a bad day. It helps me think. That day Charlie had me kicked out I came here. I skated for hours and I kept falling but you know what, I kept getting back up.”

I understood what he was trying to say. I had to pick myself up and be John again. “So what you’re saying is that I can overcome this,” I said. He laughed.

“You already did, you just have to let yourself be who you are.”

 

They all smiled and waved to me as Aaron walked me to my car. "Hey John, listen, if you ever need anybody to talk to call me, I’m always around. Here put your number in my phone,” he said handing me his cellphone. I took it and programmed my number dialing it to make sure I had his. "I mean it. Whenever you need."

"I will, Aaron," I said, before I got in my car. “And thank you for everything.” I waved at him and drove away. It felt as If a huge weight had been lifted of my shoulders. I had told them everything, and they had understood me. They didn't walk away; they stayed and listened.

I came to realize a few things at this new school. The first is that people can be nice. I came here thinking people were going to hate me, that they were going to treat me the same way people treated me at the other school. They didn't.

The second thing I learned is that there is always something unexpected around the corner. Every day, here, something surprised me. Sometimes there are good things and sometime there are bad things, but we are always ourselves.

Aaron and I got real close. He and I were inseparable while at school. Our friendship was easy. We knew where we both stood, and we didn't need to hide anything from each another. You could say that it was boring, but I preferred it that way.

Winter was coming. The nights were getting longer. I loved the snow. When I was younger Craig and I would spend the day sledding or having snow fights.

During winter break Aaron invited me to go up to his family’s cabin. He had invited a few of the kids from school, including Dave and Sheryl. Aaron and I started a fire as everyone started to arrive. Sheryl made hot chocolate for all of us.

"Let’s play Truth or Dare," Aaron shouted, as we all crowded around the fire.

"Who wants to go first?" I asked.

Dave sighed, and volunteered. "Truth or dare?" Aaron asked.

"Truth," Dave answered.

"Is it true that you have a crush on John?" Aaron asked.

I was blushing and David had turned pale. "NO! I mean I don't have a crush on John," he yelled back rather quickly. Sheryl laughed loudly and kissed David. We all joined in the laughter.

"It's your turn now Aaron. Truth or dare?" Sheryl said.

"I choose dare," Aaron said.

"Okay, I dare you to run out in the cold, naked, and roll around in the snow."

Aaron quickly stood up and took off his shirt, pants and shoes. He ran out the door. We followed him.

"Here, I almost forgot these," he said, handing me his boxer shorts. I, however, wasn't paying attention to the shorts but to the massive thing between his legs.

He winked at me as he got down on the snow and began to roll. I was transfixed as he turned his body left and right, left and right, left and right.

"John, like what you see?" Sheryl whispered into my ear.

"Uh huh," I mumbled back.

Aaron ran back in, snatching his boxers from my hand. He quickly dressed and we resumed the game. Sheryl ended up admitting to having had sex in her parents’ car, and I ended up eating three raw eggs that made another appearance as I threw them up.

“That's the last time I pick dare over truth," I said, as Aaron held my head up over the toilet.

"Come on, where’s your sense of fun?" David taunted me from the door.

"I think it went down with the flush," I said and Aaron and David snickered.

"Listen, I have to go to the store and get some stuff. Do you want to come with me?" Aaron asked me.

"Sure, I could use the fresh air," I said.

On the way to the store Aaron kept looking at me. He looked at me and quickly turned away. "Aaron, is there something wrong?" I asked.

"I was thinking of everything you went through," Aaron said. “The story you told us at David’s party. That’s an incredible story did you ever think of doing anything with that? I mean you could write a book. I read the story you wrote during writing class and it was awesome you’re really good and I thought maybe you could write all of that down.”

"What? Why?"

“Because you have a gift my friend,” Aaron said, as we pulled into the store. I always loved to write but never thought I was good at it. "Just think about it Ok. Come on I need to get some things for the party."

When we returned I noticed a few more cars in the driveway. Aaron had a huge smirk on his face and ran ahead of me, closing the door behind him.

I walked up to the door and heard whispering. Somebody said my name. I heard Sheryl say, "Shut up, he's right outside." I didn't like this. They were talking about me. I burst through the door ready to bust some heads.

"Surprise!" They all yelled at me. I was totally lost for words.

"Happy birthday, John," said Sheryl as she hugged and kissed me.

"Happy birthday John," a familiar voice said from behind me. I turned to see who it was. It was Craig.