Scars Upon Your Heart - 2. Part 2

Someone somewhere is about to have an experience that they will never forget.

**phone beeps**

‘Hi yeah. It’s Liam. Pick up the phone when you get this message. I miss you honey. Love you’

I listened to the message and then put the phone back on the desk and returned to my AP Chemistry studies. I had to do this essay in order to at least pass freshman year. God knows what I will be like in senior year. Probably broken down from all the stress.

Now this essay was worth a lot of my grade, it was all about the effect of catalysts on a closed system reaction that would reach the equilibrium point. It didn’t really make sense to me. I’m more a businessman, not a chemist. Solid hard facts help me, not these lousy experiments where you don’t really learn anything apart from how shiny a flame can get. But if it gets me into Harvard, I don’t care.

I am all about myself, I’m afraid. Me. Lucian.

I’m bored. Where did Jason leave us off from.?

Oh yes, Liam. Someone you haven’t really heard much about.

I just tried to call him. I wasn’t successful. Depressed now.

So…

I don’t quite know how to say this. But, I’m a little bit of a compulsive liar.

I’m from Florida, of course but I always tell people my parents are accepting and friendly people and that I’m out and about everywhere I go but that is just a load of bull that I created to keep people happy and to stop them from ranting on at me about being in the closet isn’t good for your health.

In all trueness, I’m shy. I stay locked in my room for as long as I can. My parents are god fearing and hate what I am. My sister is a snivelling little cow and they are as nasty as anything, my entire family. Just sometimes wish I could run away. My only refuge is my grandmother’s. She is lovely. She knows. She is one of those people that just know straight away.

I was young. Behind a computer screen. I could give an awareness of confidence and get away with it. You can write anything on a computer screen and the gullible idiots on the other side would believe you straight away.

I even lied about cross country. I wasn’t their star runner. I was the one that always held the team back.

I’m attractive if you like and I like to show it off a little. Well, okay. I like to show it off in the online world. In the real world I’m as shy as anything and quite unfit. Stupid junk food. And chips. Potato chips. I know I sound like I scoff but god is it worth it.

It’s quite funny though. I have a flat stomach. No matter how much I eat I never put any weight on. Some girls would kill to have a metabolism like me. I have a very active metabolism and sadly that’s only accessible for guys only. Hehe!

I don’t think there is anything else I have hidden.

Does hiding things make me a bad person?

I guess it does. I really don’t want to be a bad person. I just can’t help myself. You know.

I’m just natural at hiding things and lying. I just find it so easy. Another problem is I hate being lied to. You know, with the big red button. Press it the kitty dies. You feel terrible but then you find out it was just a doll. What a fucked up little experiment. I hate psychology. It’s a waste of my time. I am a liar and I have always been a liar.

Does it make me a worse person?

I guess it does. I really don’t want to be horrible person. I just can’t help myself. You know.

Anyway. There was also one thing that was quite major that I lied about with Jason.

I kind of have had a few ex boyfriends.

Online.

Brett. Geek. Don’t ask me.

Matt. Way older than me, big mistake.

Edward. Bit of a creep. Tried to meet him, but he was a 40 year old pervert. Yeah that one is a story on its own.

Bryce : Yeah. He was a bit of a dick.

Cameron: For Christ’s sake don’t even go there. I don’t need another person having a breakdown on me.

And the list goes on. I kind of feel bad for lying to Jason. But meh, I’m an attention whore. I like the attention.

He was next.

My one day love. And probably the one I remember the most.

I look across the hall and I see my post delivered. I know that the letters would be waiting. There always would be one or two. Even though we can easily contact each other by email, it was a nice sentiment. I write back, usually disjointed responses. My handwriting is appalling.

I guess, I just cannot bring myself to hurt him again. Not after all what has happened.

Anyway. At this point, I was happy with Liam. Ecstatic even. My first chance to have a real love and someone to be mushy with. Of course you all are mushy with your partners.

It was a Monday…

Or a Thursday.

Let me try again.

It was a…

Day.

He had come round my house after school, he was in a different class to me so we didn’t really get to see much of each other. It came to that awkward silence at dinner.

‘So, Liam. What electives are you taking?’ My mother said whilst looking at him, after the extended silence. I guess he wasn’t what you would call a ‘traditional’ image of a god fearing parent. She liked to be that little bit different with her broad smile and the green streak in her hair.

Liam stumbled on his words and then gathered himself. ‘Art, Fine Art, Linguistics and Theatre’.

The father smirked, ‘Just like my wife. Head always in the stars. My son, he’s going to be a great lawyer one day. I can see him in court, prosecuting those dirty whatchemecallits. Yeah, homosexuals. Should all be put to the death in my mind.’ He took a big mouthful of beef into his mouth and ripped it off the fork. My mother shot him a glare across the table.

‘He’ll do what he wants to do. It’s his choice. What books have you read in Theatre class Liam?’

Liam smiled. He always warmed to Mrs. Silvestrin. ‘Oh we just started to read ‘The Trial’ and in a few weeks time we are going to be putting on a production of ‘You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown’.

‘Brilliant, another nonce. Just like my brother Jacques. Be careful you don’t end up like him boy,’ my father interrupted. Lucian’s mother violently kicked under the table in the father’s direction and he winced. I giggled and accidentally spat out some potato in Liam’s direction.

‘Oh Christ sorry. I didn’t… Let me get a…’

‘Ba… Lucian don’t worry. I’m fine’.

Phew, close call I thought. It came to that time again. We he had to leave. I didn’t want him to but I guess we all have to go home at some point.

‘Okay son. You walk your friend home and make sure he’s safe. Don’t want the sissy getting hurt do we?’

‘I won’t say it again, Richard.’ My mother shot another evil glare.

‘We’ll be fine Dad. It’s only around the block. I’ll be back in 10 minutes tops.’ I smiled and began to walk Liam home.

They got around the corner, out of sight and Liam paused and turned to Lucian.

‘I love you. You know that right?’ Liam reached over and kissed Lucian’s blushing cheek.

‘Of course I love you. You know that. What’s wrong?’

‘I’ve done something Lucian. Something bad.’

‘What did you do?’

‘I told…’

‘Who did you tell?’ I said with a flame of anger he had never felt before.

‘I told your mum about us.’

 

**

 

Lucian’s mother was sat on the corner seat watching Oprah. Liam was nervous at the door. Lucian was upstairs playing on his Xbox. Liam timidly knocked on the door.

‘Come in.’ she looked and saw it was Liam. She always liked Liam. He was a very good friend of the family.

‘Hi. I need to speak to you about something.’

‘What is it dear?’

‘There is something we are hiding from you.’

‘I know.’

‘How did you know?’

‘I know. And I must say, I’m quite disappointed. I’d rather you boys be open with me. I don’t want it to be.’

‘What do you think it is?’

‘You are my son’s boyfriend. It’s kind of obvious. You are, admittedly, quite a cute couple. I’m not happy.’

‘But he is happy.’

‘That is all I want. I want my son to be happy and if he is happy with you, then whatever will be, will be.’

‘Thank you. Wow. I didn’t think you would react like this.’

‘I know.’ She giggled. Always so immature at times. ‘If you don’t mind me asking, why did you come to tell me?’

Liam looked at her and smiled. ‘I just wanted you to know. I couldn’t stand hiding anymore.’

‘Oh I see.’

Liam turned around to go back up the stairs.

‘By the way.’

Lucian’s mother stood. ‘For Christ’s sake, don’t tell his father.’

‘I won’t. You don’t have to worry.’

 

**

 

A sense of shock.

‘What did she say?’

‘She was fine about it. She already knew. Just don’t tell your father.’

I sighed with relief and kissed him passionately on the lips. ‘Thank you. I would never have told her.’

We walked back to Liam’s house in happiness.

I knew one day I would have to tell my father. I knew he would care, especially from the comments that came across from the dinner that evening. I was scared. I was worried.

A few days later, I needed to speak to someone. I turned to the one that always listened to me.

Jason.

Lucian : Oh Jason L

Jason : What's up? Dad?

Lucian : Yeah L I’m scared to tell him. Liam told my mother but not my father. I’m scared Jason. I’m just scared.

Jason : Now just calm down. You know you can think clearly. Get a drink. Maybe you should just wait. Wait for a time when you are in college. When you are free.

Lucian : Jason, I’ll never truly be free. I’ll always be stuck in the eyes of him as a lawyer. A straight jawed sissy of a person. I don’t want to be that. I want to be better than that. I want to do other things.

Jason : Oh Lucian…

Lucian : I don’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps. As far as I’m concerned when I leave, he’s dead to me.

I shut the laptop and moved over to my bed and cried for half an hour. I realised just how little my father meant to me.

For the first time, I felt truly exposed and I hated it!

A few weeks later, my parents were going out for a meal with their friends to celebrate their anniversary. Of course, teenage boys get the greatest ideas. Sister at Nana’s and being left alone for once, it was quite fun the thoughts that I had running through my head. Man, I had so much fun over the thoughts I had about what could happen, for at least three evenings after I found out.

I had it all planned. Chocolates. Roses. The bed. My large smooth bed. New sheets just for the occasion. It was perfect. Perfect for us two.

 

**

 

Their evening began as the parents were still around. So they sat on the bed and played Cheat for a while.

‘2 8’s’ Liam smiled and placed the cards down.

‘3 4’s’.

‘Cheat.’

‘You always get me Lucian. Why?’

‘Guess I’m just good at the game’. Really, it was a marked deck but Liam wasn’t to know that. And I don’t think he ever did. Hehe.

‘Lucian, we are off now, you boys have a good night.’ My mother called upstairs and there was a slamming of the door as they left the house.

They looked at each other. Then Liam looked over at deck of cards and the cards on the bed.

He threw his hand, dashing the cards all over. Lucian moved along the bed like a lion and ran his hand under the end of Liam’s shirt.

‘I’ve been waiting for this for weeks,’ Lucian whispered to Liam as he giggled. Lucian moved his hand up Liam’s side and Liam shuddered.

‘Your hand is cold. It tickles.’

Lucian kissed him hard on the lips, ‘Good, I wanted it to be.’

Both of them took their shirts off and Liam laid on top of Lucian and began to make out with him and grind his body up against him.

It was strange.

We didn’t hear the front door going.

Neither did we hear the steps into the house.

It was only because Liam heard the corridor door open that we had time.

‘Shit, your dad he’s back. Get a shirt on!’ Liam whispered at Lucian. And they both scrambled and put shirts on, just in time as Lucian’s father moved into the room.

‘What the hell was going on here?’

‘Oh nothing. We were playing 52 card pickup Mr. Silvestrin.’ Liam smiled whilst starting to pick up the cards from the floor.

‘Oh. Great. Clean up. Where’s the car keys?’

Lucian laid back up against the wall, ‘You know where they are, in the bowl on the table in the living room. Where Mum always keeps them.’

‘Well I don’t always drive do I smart Alec. I would be in my right mind to give you a good hidin’ one of these days.’ He mumbled to himself. Liam looked incredibly uncomfortable. ‘Good night boys. See you later on. I expect Liam gone by 10.’

‘Yes Da…’ My father had already stormed out of the room.

‘What a moody bastard eh babe?’ Liam looked up from the floor.

‘Yeah. Moody,’ Lucian sighed and moved to help Liam get the cards.

 

**

 

Someone, somewhere is preparing to ruin someone’s relationship just to stay in a certain someone’s ‘Good Books’.

She had always been a problem.

The following morning, she came home.

Jessica.

My bratty little sister.

Always got everything. I had to keep her secret from my online friends because they always assumed I had Jealous Sibling Syndrome and dismissed my issues completely. At least that was what normally happened.

She was into arty things. You know finger painting, drawing pictures that never really make sense but you have to fake that you are proud of them. Well, she liked to steal my stuff from my cupboard in my room, I’m not bitter at all.

I wanted to have more of us time, you know me and Liam. And I guess, I wanted him to get permission to stay over again. He got the balls to stand up to his parents and he got it and he could stay the night at my house as long as he was home for lunchtime the following day. He stayed on my floor because my annoying sister came back from her little weekend away at Nana’s. Nana lived in NY State so it was quite a long drive and she only got to go once in a while. I had the choice to go but I wanted to stay at home.

I wanted to have more us time with Liam. Hehe.

But, ahem. I spent a little time with him in the morning. You know, doing the things that couples do. We played cards. Lots of cards. And we played PS3. That was cool. We were just lying on the bed when she came in.

‘Lucy.’ She smiled with an evil glare and it shot right through me. For only 10 years old she was good. She was very good at what she did.

‘Jess, don’t call me Lucy. You know I don’t like it. What do you want?’

‘Oh nothing. Can I borrow a pen? A drawing one.’ I sat up and looked at her.

‘Why?’

‘So I can swallow it. What do you think I’m gonna do with it?’

I wish I could have killed her. I really do.

‘Okay. Just take it and get out.’

She slammed the door behind her. I looked over at Liam and he cuddled up to me. ‘Love u k?’ He giggled and kissed me on the cheek.

I turned to him and laid him back on the bed and laid on his stomach and cuddled him tightly.

I didn’t think anything could I happen so I ran my hand along his waistband and ran it up the back of his shirt and started to kiss him.

Little did I know that someone was there in the doorway. She only wanted to borrow paper. She only wanted that.

She ran to daddy. She always ran to daddy when ‘Brother Lucy’ did something wrong…

 

**

 

‘Daddy.’ She tugged at his shirt.

‘What is it Jess?’

‘I saw Lucy doing something wrong.’

‘What is wrong?’

‘He was touching his friend.’

‘Who Liam?’

‘Yes. Liam.’

‘Where was he touching him?’

 

**

 

It was two hours later he called me into his office. I knocked on his door.

‘Hey Dad.’

‘Son. Come sit down. We have much to talk about.’

‘What is it Dad?’

‘Your sister. She saw everything.’

‘Everything?’

‘You and that boy.’

‘Dad, I don’t know what…’

‘Let me say my piece boy. I’m seriously disappointed. I’m stronger than your mother. I don’t think your gay feelings towards Liam are right.’

I gulped. I was scared as to how he was going to act towards me.

‘I’ve never really liked it but I guess I have to get used to it. As long as it doesn’t happen under my roof. I was quite shocked and I had to keep a face in front of your sister. But I’m… Well I’m a little devastated.’

I sighed. I knew it was coming. I knew he was going to be disappointed. I knew he was going to disown me. I was already figuring out where I could stay instead. I was scared, I even had tears in my eyes.

‘But. I’ll always be proud of you. You may be gay but you are still my own son. No matter what you do. You will always be my son and I will always love you.’

I never really understood my father. Before that point. But now…

I guess I do understand. If not just a little bit more than I used to.

He made me feel proud of myself for the first time in a long while. I wasn’t afraid of him anymore. He was honest. That was all I ever wanted out of him. Honesty and Trust. The two most important principles in life.

Why was I afraid? I guess it’s because I just painted such a bad picture of him in my mind. Such a bad picture that I could never recover. Until that moment. I now get on well with my father and mother. We get on so much better with the open honesty between us. I love my parents. I was so grateful that I no longer had to be afraid in my own household…

 

**

 

Something I realised quite recently though. I wasn’t always like that. I was a lying bastard. I cheated and I carved everything with my sick little mind and usually got my way.

Back then, I was chatting to Cameron and he revealed something quite creepy to me. In fact it wasn’t creepy. It was downright stalker like. And I fell for every word…

Cameron : Yo Lucian. I gotz gweat news.

Lucian : What is it now? You got a puppy, your dad got a job and dropped out a few days later…

Cameron : Oh no. Nothing like that. Something much more serious. I’m moving.

Oh shit…

Lucian : Where to?

Cameron : Guess where.

Lucian : The UK?

Cameron : No dipshit. Try again.

Lucian : Nebraska.

Cameron : You are not trying. You have one more guess and then I’m telling you. It’ll ruin my fun.

Lucian : Saturn. *giggle*.

Cameron : I’m moving to Florida.

Lucian : OMG! Wow… where, what area?

Cameron : Not sure, somewhere near the space station.

Lucian : Cameron I live pretty much next to the space station.

Cameron : Holy Shit…

Lucian: My reaction exactly.

I felt that twinge in my stomach. Could there be another chance for an old flame. Ha. Old flame. Cameron. Makes you giggle. Doesn’t it? Guess not.

Could we be together again? Only time would tell.

Of course, there wasn’t much point. Jason told me about the emails he sent him. Undying declarations of love. And he did it over and over again. Sent pretty much the same email to Jason weekly, sometimes three times a week. Jason was kind of afraid but I managed to convince him that that was just what Cameron was like…

Hmm…

Just what he was like…

It came two months down the line, nothing dramatic really happened. I was still with Liam and going strong. But then he moved to the house next door that had been on sale for months. He was a lot larger than I first pictured him but I could live with it.

I couldn’t believe my eyes to be honest. There he was in flesh and in spirit. Not just over a computer screen.

And he was cute. Really cute. Photographs never did him any justice…

Someone somewhere is going to see how temptation can be a fickle beast to even the most unwilling…

I remember, the day that Cameron moved it was bright out. I was doing the yard work. I wiped my brow and removed my shirt revealing my abs that Liam commented were perfect. According to Liam I was a gay man’s dream apparently. I certainly made Mr. Fortescue from over the road the happiest man alive. Almost. Hehe.

The first thing that I noticed was the moving van. The second thing I noticed was the person sitting in the passenger seat of the van. It was him. The van parked up and Cameron’s father got out of the van.

I saw a small smile come on Cameron’s face followed by a faint blush. I was showing myself off to the world and let’s say, I think Cameron was quite impressed. In fact, I think I could see him wriggle in his uncomfortable seat. Hiding things from relatives isn’t fun, in any way shape or form.

I watched Cameron get out of the van. He was much taller than I expected. In fact he was a giant. I let my mind wander to much more dirty things but that is a conversation for a completely different time.

‘Yo. Don’t I recognize you?’ He had a really thick northern American accent; it kind of got on my nerves.

‘You probably do. Didn’t we meet online?’ He giggled quietly, trying to keep it quiet from his father.

‘More than likely.’ A gentle smirk.

Cameron went inside leaving me to get my yard work done. It had to be done, I suppose.

Then later that evening, we could talk.

 

**

 

I was quite excited to finally meet someone from GA, even though I still was quite young. I didn’t think I would meet anyone till I was much older.

I didn’t think I would meet anyone until I went to one of the annual gatherings but there I was. Proven wrong. There are annual meet ups but I couldn’t go again simply because Jason turned up. I couldn’t be around him for some reason at that time. I just couldn’t. Not since that time together. Never again. I couldn’t take much more.

Of course, I was nervous. Considering what I had said to Cameron, but I guess I will have to keep up the façade for longer than I thought I would need to.

I stepped out of the back door, checked my breath and went back into the house. I was so nervous for no reason. I quickly checked my hair in the mirror (man, was I so vain) and stepped outside.

Cameron was already there waiting.

‘Hey. You look a lot different,’ he said.

‘So do you. Taller than I expected.’

‘I did say I was big in every aspect.’ He winked at me.

‘Stop it, you’ll make me blush.’

‘So, what do you wanna talk about?’

‘I don’t know. The boiling weather?’

‘Meh. I guess I’ll get used to it. Dad’s going out later. Wanna come over? I’ll say I met you when you were doing yard work. Or looking at me pretending to do yard work, you decide.’ He giggled at me and gave me such a cute smile.

‘Oh okay! I’ll be there. When?’ I blushed.

‘About 2 hours time?’

'Cool.’ A disgruntled noise came from Cameron’s house.

‘Look, my dad’s calling me, I gotta go. See you later.’

‘Right, bye.’ I smiled out of utter contentment.

 

Cameron headed back into the house and I was awestruck. How can he be so nice?

His father was such a pig to him…

One time he told me about. About two years ago, he had just come home from his soccer practice and his father was waiting.

 

**

 

‘Oi, where were you?’

‘Dad I told you. I was at practice.’

His father mumbled his words, ‘I never gave any permission to practice anything.’

‘Dad, you said I could start it at the start of my junior year, at the end of last year. So you gave permission.’

‘Don’t you talk back to me.’ His father stood, he picked up a bottle from the table. He smashed it across his knee. ‘I’ll teach thee for talkin’ back to tha’ fa’er like that’. He took the broken bottle and walked towards his son.

 

**

 

And the rest was history. It was a tale he had only told me recently. A tale that caused him so much emotional trauma.

Over the next few months, we got to know each other quite well. The trouble was, I began to feel more attached to Cameron. I didn’t want my boyfriend. I wanted Cameron. We kept our closeness a secret from everyone, saying we were just neighbours if people asked why we were together. But only we know the truth.

Until that fateful day.

 

**

 

The rain dripping down the window of the bedroom with the cards sprawled across the double bed. The light was on its dimmest setting and they were naked, cuddled together. It wasn’t the boyfriend. It was Lucian and Cameron. The music they had on was a classic swing soundtrack that Cameron had brought round. The dripping of the rain fell down a boy’s shoulder outside like it was his blood. The music built up its rhythm. The rain reached the boys chest as he approached the front door. Another droplet of the sweet liquid reached his shoulder. Lucian smiled at Cameron and kissed him with a burning passion. A passion he had never felt before. Never with any of them, not even with Liam. It was the manifestation of the physical and spiritual body that he needed, not just the physical side of Liam. The boy reached the front door and knocked. He knocked again. The door was unlocked he allowed himself in. Their love making had grown in consummation, the love making reaching a great intensity, with their hearts throbbing in reaction to each other. The boy talked to the parents, who indicated him to the bedroom. They told him he was not alone. The boy felt the final drop, not of rain, as he walked up the stairs fall down his cheek and onto the floor.

The thrust was what brought Cameron to the climax. They were building Lucian up when the boy opened the door. Lucian reached the pleasure point, totally unaware of the situation around him when the boy stared at the naked bodies together.

The teardrops fell and grew as Lucian realised what was happening. Liam moved towards the bed as Cameron began to clothe himself. Lucian moved quite uneasily and picked up his trousers and slid them on. Liam stood there. Silent. He touched Lucian’s face, his face a complete wreck. He placed another hand on his shoulder, Cameron watching every single action until that moment.

The moment where Lucian saw the true evil behind Liam’s eyes. The moment where Liam enclosed his hands. Around Lucian’s neck. He held him tightly, trying to throw him against the cupboard but he was far too weak to handle him. Cameron launched himself at Liam, managing to get him off of Lucian whilst screaming for help.

Lucian’s mother ran upstairs and slammed through the door, worried for her son’s safety. She knew she would only need to interrupt if her precious son was in any danger. Abnormally strong, she picked Liam up, who fought against her, and carried him down the stairs and threw him out the front door.

‘Don’t you dare come near my son, ever again! You hear me!’ She was angry. The angriest she had ever been. No one could ever hurt her precious Lucian. Her baby. Her son.

He wasn’t going to be her baby for much longer.

Lucian turned to Cameron, who had fully dressed himself while he breathed heavily. There was tension in the air.

‘I guess that means your relationship with him is over?’ Cameron gave a cheeky smile but Lucian was having none of it.

‘Get out.’ Lucian sobbed. ‘Get out and never come back’. Cameron would not move. ‘Get the fuck out of my house and of my life. I don’t need you!’ Lucian began to physically shove him out of the door and as soon as he got him out of his room, he shut his door and locked it.

No one was going to talk to him for at least a few hours while he cleared everything up in his head.

 

**

 

Someone somewhere is about to make a life changing decision and it may well be the worst mistake of their life…

I sat there for hours. My mind was a mess.

My mom was in and out with tea, sweets, food. You name it, she brought it. But she knew I had to think this out on my own. I had to figure things out.

I really didn’t know if I was coming or going. My name is Lucian Silvestrin. I cheated on my boyfriend with someone I met online. How bad is that? I’m 16 years old. I had sex before the legal age. I know my parents care. They don’t like me doing it but I do it anyway. Christ, I feel wrong. I seem to want to turn everyone I love away. There’s only one person that has stayed solid and there for me. Out of my friends that is. My family have always been there. Jason.

I feel so dirty…

He was the one that has always been there for me. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to move to England…

I’d love to when I’m old enough. One day.

Or…

He could come here. I can just imagine what life would be like with him, as my partner.

I could feel it going. I could feel my mental capacity falling to pieces. This was the start. This was the start of the end. I was going to lose myself. I was going to lose everything.

OH SNAP OUT OF IT LUCIAN! I need to gain control of myself again but I…

I…

I want him.

I want Jason.

I can’t believe what I am thinking. And I know I can’t have him and it tears me apart to know that.

I thought my choices were always right. I thought I had made a correction decision with Liam. But then he came along and shook my world. Seduced me into my own bed. I can’t even sleep properly anymore because of what I have done. The guilt is too much for me to handle. I just can’t think about it. I know I am young and I am probably overreacting but this is just how I feel.

I feel as if a sword has been driven through my bleeding heart.

One day I’m going to go find him. I just struggle to make the right decision. Everyone makes mistakes. Am I right?

I just seem to make so many of them…

I’m just not sure.

I’m never sure about anything anymore.

Time will tell I suppose.

Sigh…

 

**

 

‘You’re listening to WKYD Radio and it’s time for your favourite records from the past. So before that it’s time for some local news. Over to you Jenny.’

‘Thank you Tom. A boy was arrested for Assault today at 23 Friar Lane. He was seen by the boy that he attacked and his mother. They have released no comment but the boy in question has been put into a cell for the night and will be examined later on this evening. And that’s all for tonight.’

‘Thanks Jenny. So here’s a shout out for that lonely heart out there. Lucian this is from Cameron to you. God, guys are coming out through the woodwork aren’t they? Any way here’s Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.’

 

**

 

Having seen the therapist, he was standing outside of her small therapy room.

She told him what was right and what was wrong with him.

And he had heard it all before. Every single time.

He would go in with the same problems and come out with the answers but then the same problem would arise again.

A never ending cycle of mental torture.

Lucian put his hand in to his pocket and grabbed the keys to his car.

He was going to go home and he was going to book the flight…

In case he needs it.

In case things get that little bit too much for him to handle…