Black Sheep Part 3 - 15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

It wasn’t easy to get better, or to get anywhere at all.
The doctors wanted me to eat a lot of food and the therapy sessions were hard, really hard. They asked a lot of people around me what and why I might not have been eating, they didn’t know. The bad part was, I didn’t know either. So they started to test what kinds of food I would or would not eat and apart from my aversion to bland or colourless food they couldn’t find anything interesting. So they tested my blood, nothing to be found apart from some deficiencies that were expected at my weight.
They changed my medication. My appetite did not return but I did become less confrontational and actually started to feel like myself again. I could keep my emotions in check which was good, better even than anyone expected I guess.
Because they couldn’t find why I wouldn’t eat they kept me on a lower diet than they would for most people who have eating problems. I had no aversion, I was simply not hungry, which was not something they understood very well. The eating times were very structured, every two hours I was to have a meal and between meals I sometimes had to do things like workouts or other things like that. I had to both gain weight and create muscle mass since I had lost so much of it.
The best part of it was that the amount of attacks also decreased, they weren’t getting less intense but at least they stopped occurring daily. Which was a nice change. I started to pick up my university work more and more and got at least a bit back on track so I wouldn’t have to repeat a full year by the time I would be able to get back to university.
It was nice to sometimes look at my charts and see how well I was doing. Every week the results got better and better, something that went even beyond the expectations of my doctors. I knew that if I set my mind to it I could do almost anything, and I wanted to get better.
Week by week I was able to do more things and the best part was that everybody was so supportive of me, Tom, Vic, Anne, everybody made sure to drop by at least once a week to see how I was doing.

I’m waiting for Vic to return from the meeting with his doctors, he has been dropping by every week since he started living with his dad. Every week I’m looking forward to it, he has been really supportive and has really made a difference the times I was feeling down and didn’t know if I could go through with it.
Vic opens the door and walks in, his dad closely behind. They look tired and I understand why as Kevin bounces in after them. A five year old can do that to people when they are not used to it, or no longer used to it in Vic’s case.
“Adam!” Kevin yells and climbs on my bed, hugging me and then lying next to me, making himself comfortable. Only Kevin would be comfortable visiting people in the hospital and not be all quiet for what is going on.
I pat his head and then look up. Vic is sitting in the chair next to the bed, a soft smile on his face as he looks at us. It is good to see him like this, he seems to be comfortable this week. I take his hand and squeeze it.
“How are you doing?” Vic focuses his eyes on me but he seems distracted by something.
“I’m good. The doctors say that I might be put on the transplant list soon, or, well, back on it in my case, and they said that I might be allowed out soon. I’ll probably be joining you at Dr West’s place soon until my treatment is finished.” I smile but Vic doesn’t react. I reach out and caress Vic’s cheek. “What is distracting you? What are you thinking about?”
Vic closes his eyes and rubs against my hand, he then looks at his dad for a moment before focusing on me. “The results from last week’s tests.”
“What about them?”
Vic stays quiet, his eyes darting around the room until they settle on his dad.
“The results have not been good for weeks, though mostly the same, but some of the new results they could not decipher. They were different from before but they don’t know what it means yet.” Vic’s dad puts his hand on Vic’s shoulder and then looks at me. “He is worried about the implications.”
Vic nods, his eyes on me and I see a fear in them I haven’t seen before.
“Can I be alone with him for a minute?”
Vic’s dad nods and quickly coaxes Kevin out of the room, closing the door behind them quietly.
We are silent for a while before I see a tear rolling over Vic’s cheek.
“What are you scared of?” I pull Vic’s hand and move so he can lie next to me on the bed.
Vic lies next to me, his eyes focused on the ceiling. “That I won’t be able to see you all happy again.”
“Of course you will. I’m sure of it. Everything seems to be turning out well for everybody. So you’ll be fine too.” I smile and Vic looks at me, a smile on his lips too.
“How can you be so positive?”
“You’ve seen me a couple of weeks ago, and look at me now. They’re talking about letting me out of here soon. Anne now lives with Steve and they seem to be very happy. And your mum and dad are also spending more and more time together. How can I not be positive? A few weeks ago I would have never guessed that something like this could be happening. That is how I know you’ll be fine too.”
Vic reaches out and touches my hair. “You need to redye your hair, I think a rainbow this time would be awesome, a rainbow to match your crazy mind.” He smiles but then his eyes glaze over and his smile falters. His hand drops onto the blanket and I quickly grab it.
“Vic?” I shake his hand and then shake his body.
No reply. I quickly check if he is breathing and find that his breathing is normal, and so is his pulse. I’m not sure what is going on and quickly push the nurse button next to my bed. This was not boding well.