Black Sheep Part 3 - 3. Chapter 3

I sit, looking around the room, waiting for Tom to be done with his placement so he’ll come over. It’s boring being on my own in the hospital. Normally I have my laptop or at least some books with me. But next to my bed there is only a bag with clean clothing, no books or anything to entertain me.
A soft knock diverts my attention to the door. Tom is standing there with a broad smile on his face and my laptop bag in his hand. He could be such an angel.
“They told me you’d probably be awake by the time I’d return from my placement so I thought I should get you something. How are you feeling?” The words keep coming as he walks around the room, putting my laptop on the table and leaning against my bed. His mouth smiles but his eyes are sad.
“How long have I been out?” I feel my face. “More than a night I would say.”
“A few days. They did a few tests on you but they were scared your body wouldn’t be able to handle another attack in a short time.”
“They drugged me. You allowed them to drug me because it was easier on you?” Anger flares and Tom cowers. That was wrong, Tom doesn’t cower for anyone like that. What had happened while I was out? Had the attack been that bad?
Tom sits down next to the bed on a chair, just out of my reach, and sighs. “You almost didn’t make it. I was not going to take the chance that you’d die.” He shakes his head, the next words barely audible. “Not you. I wasn’t gonna lose you.”
“What do you mean?” I reach out, the pain on Toms face reflected in my own heart. I don’t know what happened in the past days but it was bad, really bad.
Tom looks at my hand and then at my face. He stands and pulls me in a close hug.
“I don’t know how to tell you this.” Tom whispers, his voice thick with tears.
“Tell me what?” I’m scared, scared about what is going on, what has happened.
“Jack died, some guys beat him up and he died of his injuries.” Toms breath comes out in bursts. Pulling me close.
I burst into tears. Jack. Jack was gone. I clamp onto Tom, burying my face in his chest, my fingers digging into his back. I can’t believe it. My chest hurts like it’s ripped open. Jack did not deserve that, to die like that.
“Fuck.” The curse comes out rough, my chest tight, my breath irregular.
Tom holds me off, fear in his eyes.
I shake my head, no this wasn’t anywhere near an attack. I pull him close again, grabbing onto him, needing his comfort.
Jack was gone. He wasn’t here any more. Vic was alone again. Vic…
“How is Vic?” I force out the words, afraid of the worst.
“He is back in, just as a precaution.” Tom rubs my back. “Just so they can be sure he won’t try to do something stupid.”
I nod, my tears still flowing. That makes sense, just a precaution, he had only been out for a few days anyway, they just needed to be sure.
Tom keeps holding me close, wet spots appearing on my head.
Jack was dead. Vic lost the best he could ever have, a protective and accepting boyfriend.

Tom sits next to me on the bed, the both of us calmed down now. One thing keeps going through my mind.
“When is the funeral?”
“On Monday, in two days.” Tom holds my hand, kissing the top.
“Can I go?”
“I don’t think they’ll allow you to leave. I’m sorry.” Tom holds my hand to his face but I pull away.
How could he know that yet? Why wouldn’t they allow me to leave? I was awake now wasn’t I? What reasons would they have to be able to hold me? Was it them, or was Tom just making this up?
“They, or you?” The question comes out venomous.
“Both.” Tom slides off the bed as a nurse comes in with what I assume is dinner.
Boring white and yellow dinner. How could they get anyone to eat in a place like this? Where was the red meat and the coloured vegetables? Why was everything so sterile here? Why won’t they let me go? Even if the doctors and Tom agreed on it, there must be a really good reason why they want me to stay.
The nurse puts down the food quietly and leaves the room again. Tom stares at the food and then at me, dread apparent in his eyes. That is when it clicks. Of course, there was one thing that could ruin everything for me. I’ve lost weight, probably even between my last visit to the doctor and now. I look at Tom, wondering how far he was going to go on making me “better”, how far he was going to take this.
“Adam.” Toms voice shakes me. “Are you going to eat that?”
“I’m not hungry.” I’m telling the truth, even though I haven’t eaten anything since waking up I’m not hungry at all. I haven’t been hungry in a long time.
“You need to eat something. Even if it’s only a little bit.” Tom tries to move the tray nearer to me but the smell of the food makes me retch.
“I don’t want to. I’m not hungry. I’ll eat something later.” I push the tray away from me, quickly retracting my arm after it has touched the tray. Ewww, white food.
“Adam…” Toms voice takes on an edge.
I lash out, anger and fear on my mind. “Don’t you dare.” I know what he is planning. We have talked about this before, but never in this context. “I won’t ever forgive you if you do that.”
“If it’s the only way to keep you alive I’m willing to take the chance that you’ll forever hate me.” Tom goes through his bag and pulls out a folder.
I know that inside are my medical files and one other thing. Inside the folder is a paper with on it both our signatures. It’s the same paper Vic and Anne signed. If Tom shows it to the doctors it means that if I would get in a position where I would be deemed unable to make my own medical choices he can do it for me.
“Don’t you fucking dare! Get out! Get out right now!” I scream on the top of my lungs, my throat aflame. Tom quickly walks out, throwing me one last look before he is gone.
Nurses rush into the room but I have calmed down.
Tom betrayed me, he betrayed me in the worst way possible. I cry, I feel lost and alone, lonely.