The Ascended - 6. Chapter 6

The endless void of unconsciousness… What a concept right? It wasn’t really the same savage darkness that originally swallowed me and robbed me of my consciousness that first time I appeared in front of that hooded figure, my past incarnation. It was so much different, although it obviously couldn’t have the same positive glow that I now experienced in the barrier walled room. It seems now I don’t entirely lose my consciousness, it’s like when you’re really tired and reality has a distorted feel to it, that delirious state where you aren’t quite sure if you’re awake or asleep. Anyway I found myself in the room made of barriers once more which now of course held back an even brighter glow. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t so bright that my eyes are dying of overexposure but it was still a nice change from the overruling darkness. The barriers themselves had this translucent feel to them which always left me worrying if I was going to fall right through at any moment. The really scary bit is I couldn’t see anything beyond the purity and safety of the barriers that seem to keep the room in existence.

“So it looks like you’re finally beginning to understand at least a part of your abilities as an enlightened being,” said a voice that appeared behind me from within the confines of our shielded prison. I turned slowly and as expected I saw the same hooded figure, my past incarnation who still had those glowing eyes that seemed to penetrate me every time they looked my way. “You’ve already mastered level one and two, the real question is if you will arise over the mediocre and average ‘third level’ ascended beings and become one of the greats.”

Does this guy TRY and confuse me? I mean he’s supposed to be a past incarnation which means he was me at some point or another so shouldn’t he understand how to talk to me a little better than this. “What exactly do you mean by ‘levels’ of ascension? I thought it was a simple case of you either are ascended or you aren’t.”

“Ahh you chose to think that and for the record I never said I was going to be honest with you. Honesty isn’t a prerequisite to learning to be an ascended being. Don’t get me wrong, you will get the truth when I deem it neccesary and eventually the non-truths will reveal themselves to you. Be at ease you will learn what you need to know in time. Just as now it’s time for me to at least partly explain the levels of ascension. You see there are ten or eleven levels of ascension; it really depends on your belief and perspective as one of us and like everything else that will also develop in time. Level one or your ‘Mind Transformation’ is the process that ones mind takes to become and ascended being and it’s an almost automatic process. Level two is memory immersion which is an ability that you are learning to control rather nicely. Memory immersion is mostly there to make sure we learn from our mistakes and to understand that our actions have consequences and we have to live with those consequences. Level three is known formally as ‘The Enlightenment of Past Incarnation’ which at the moment is a little hard to understand but it basically means our knowledge will become one. Knowledge in itself is a powerful tool. After you have mastered level three, you will officially be an ascended being and you will be assigned a placement in the wider universe. If you are as powerful as I think you are and as powerful as I once was you have the potential to do amazing, wonderful things. Remember not everyone can progress from level three, just have hope and maybe you will master other abilities.”

Other abilities!?! What am I going to be able to do next? I mean seriously this is just getting more and more ludicrous! If people have such power at their fingertips there must be those who abuse it as well, I mean not everyone can be good right? I just hope that whoever the ‘bad guys’ are they leave me alone for a while, at least for now. “So what do I have to do to gain your enlightenment? I’m gathering it’s yours because you ARE my past incarnation and all…”

“Naturally a part of me does become a part of you but how exactly this happens isn’t really important right now. What is important is that you need to first confront your death and in doing so you should awaken your ability, an ability that’s unique to every ascended being…” he said hesitantly almost like he was TRYING to give me as little information as possible. It was worse than that though; it was almost like he was purposefully trying to deceive me which in itself has an ominous feel to it. Maybe this is just one of those times where I’m over thinking things again but I can’t help but wonder if this is part of being an ascended being. It wouldn’t be that surprising if I got a heightened sense of intuition as well or it could be more than that, I know I keep saying this but time will probably tell all.

“Ability? What level is the ability at? Level 4? When exactly will I know what my ability is? And these other abilities are they like magic or what?? ………. Come on answer!” I said in an anxious tone, at this point I was trying to get as much information out of him as possible. He rarely said anything worthwhile so I might as well take advantage of one of the few times he chooses to say something.

He just smiled at my anxiety which only added to my sense of foreboding and urgency which just seemed to amuse him further. Finally after I thought I couldn’t take it anymore he continued. “This is different from the Levels, it’s an entirely separate force that every ascended being gains as part of their consciousness which is awakened when they’re turned into one of us. The levels are merely the KNOWN abilities that ascended beings can possess but we overstep the mark a lot and many of the things we are capable of are unexplainable. In terms of what your ability is… it will no doubt reveal itself in time. It’s your secret and only YOU can find out what you’re capable of…. Now MAGIC… wow what a word. Do you even know what magic is by definition?”

“I don’t know… I guess it’s a supernatural phenomenon which does strange things… well good things… well… I don’t know!”

“Most people can’t define it but when you get right down to it, it’s basically just the unexplainable! Supernatural, why are only events beyond the laws of nature magical?"

"Well I guess because like you said, we can't explain them.

"People are so caught up in the unfair, the unpredictable, the unfathonable and most of all the idea of the supernatural. The focus needs to be on the magic and the positive that happens everyday, everything in the human world is magic because as clever and brilliant as our previous evolutions think they are in the end they possess only a tiny insignificant portion of the knowledge that is available to ascended beings.” Wow I mean seriously how am I suppose to digest all this information? Speaking of digestion, this guy seriously must have eaten a philosiphy book or something. This just all feels like too much, not only am I this super evolved human being but I have powers that even the most experienced of our kind don’t understand? I deperately want to make a difference, I have to make a better go of this and do something that really matters. My past life just seems like such a waste, I wasted so much time worrying about what everyone else thought of me and in the end it isn't relavent, none of it matters.

This ability though... there has to be more to it... there must be something more that I'm not seeing or that he's not telling me. “So how do I know what my ability is exactly? Do I have to do some special training or…”

“Nope! That’s the beauty of this outside ability, it will reveal itself in time and in terms of training... well I can teach you resolve, I can teach you to deal with your emotions and most of all I can teach you to be yourself but there are some things you have to learn on your own. THIS is your training and I think it's about time I released my control over your mind so that the emotions and the memories of your death can flood back because you need to remember why you’re here.” That’s when my past incarnation lifted his arms in the air and the barriers around us began to flicker and crackle in an ominous fashion. He let out a deep sigh and continued to push against an invisible force to open them and it almost felt like he was pushing against my own consciousness to bring them down. As quickly as he had started he lowered his arms in a swift downward manner which immediately lifted the shielding barriers around us. We were left with a barrier below us to support ourselves or as ground to stand on, it’s purpose still unbeknown to me. That’s when the cloud lifted from my mind and all of my pain, anguish and memories flooded back, that’s when I remembered Aiden’s fate and my own fate.

“WHERE’S AIDEN?? HOW COULD YOU LET ME FORGET?” I just can’t believe someone would intentionally blanket out the most important person in my life! After he stood silently and I heard nothing but silence from under his hood, I finally asked “Is… is he doing the same thing as me right now?”

“Any loved ones from your past life have their own destiny but will undergo a similar process… not the same process because you’re special but if you’re lucky, you may meet him again someday.” He said with a soft but undeniable finality that told me I wasn’t hearing anymore.

My unbearable inner-sorrow was so overwhelming to the point that I just couldn’t stand up anymore (YES! Even as a spirit or whatever I am, it feels real enough to me.). I fell to my knees and relived that same horrible scene in my mind again and again… and again. Why would anyone want to destroy something with such inner and outer beauty? Tears slowly fell from my eyes leaving glistening trails down my face and my white robe which I bothered to look at now was covered in small blotches of darkness as it absorbed my tears. If only it was this easy to absorb the darkness growing in my heart. Now that my mind was free… it was so much easier to think with a clear head and to notice what I had not noticed before. For one thing my past incarnation was almost transparent, I couldn’t see through him or anything but he just wasn’t as clear and concrete as I was. It’s almost like he didn’t belong but it’s pretty difficult to understand unless you’ve seen the same.

“I suppose it’s that time, time for the final test of your new memory immersion and the test that proves you’re worthy to be one of us. You can’t let your emotions rule you anymore and if you do you might change the outcome of what was meant to be thus finding yourself on the wrong side. It’s up to you to go back to that day after school, back to Aiden once more and face the emotion that now plagues your every thought and desire. You must show ‘the council’ that you can be trusted to the side of good… otherwise… well the consequences will be severe and you will take a one way trip down a road of darkness and despair which there’s certainly no coming back from that. Now it’s time for me to leave you to take this leap of faith alone.” A bright light shone around him like an outline until it was almost too bright to look at, then there was only light where he had previously stood and then vanished along with him.

He’s leaving me all by myself and this strange place? What am I suppose to do, just sit here until I figure it out? Wait… I need to calm down and figure this out logically. Concentrate on the memory… concentrate…

“Now it’s time for me to leave you to take this leap of faith alone…” said an echo as my past incarnations final words repeated themselves in my mind. Leap of faith… LEAP of faith… THE BARRIERS! I picked myself up and slowly moved to the edge of a prison which I once considered a haven but now I know better. Now I know of the misery that this imprisonment enforces on its occupants. To reclaim my body I have to jump off and take control without fear, I just know it’s right, it has to be! So I pushed off the ground and dived off the edge without fear, into the slight glow of nothingness until I found myself in my body once more in a memory so clear in my mind. This it just didn’t feel right… it was almost like my subconscious mind was DARING me to intervene, to change things. Not that it’s possible to change a memory, right?

“…pfttt everyone thinks the new kid’s a fag, but not you too, Ian. What the hell, man, you used to be cool…” Jared sneered in a manner identical to the last time he spoke to me. How could this honestly be the same little boy Pete saved? You would think an experience like that would humble someone forever and keep them honest in the future, it seems Pete’s sacrifice really was in vain.

"…It's not what you think…r-really…he's not…I am…b-but…" Aiden started to stutter like last time, playing his part perfectly without fail. It was so upsetting seeing Aiden so distressed and I knew what was going to happen to him which just made it so much worse. I can’t let anything distract me from my goal; I have to listen to what my past incarnation said. I have to stay silent, calm and without emotion because I can’t let anything go wrong.

“It’s exactly what you think; I’m gay, so get over it and leave us alone!” I said this time with the same hint of resistance that just wasn’t mine. I’m not afraid of my fate, I’m afraid for Aiden and never seeing that adorable grin ever again but I can’t think about that. I can’t afford to get upset, not now. Just as it happened last time, I saw the anger in Jared bubble to the surface and this time I didn’t even think of running, this showdown was inevitable, it almost felt like it was my destiny.

“Alright fine, we’ll teach you faggots a lesson! We don’t want you homos anywhere near us, or in our neighborhood!” snarled Jared as he attempted to kick me in the stomach to kick the wind out of me as he had done before. This time however I wasn’t surprised, it was less of a shock when it hit me but of course my past self was caught off guard. The physical pain was still nothing compared to the emotional stress dormant inside of me. I was going to lose Aiden and this relentless, loving and undeniably positive force of goodness in my life would never have the chance to have a positive impact on anyone else.

As my past self buried our knee in Jared’s stomach and he fell to the ground, I noticed just as I noticed before. Aiden was fighting beside me, never leaving me, even though the guy was bigger than he was. Jared jumped up again to seek his revenge once more but it was futile. The anger inside of me that belonged to my past self lashed out with a punch to his jaw which made him drop to the ground almost instantly just as it did last time. Punching really hurts a lot more than they make it look in the movies, the self inflicted pain in my hands added to the overall anarchy and fury inside of me. This wasn’t my past self’s anger anymore, it was mine and I couldn’t hold it all back anymore.

The mob grabbed us and dragged us kicking and yelling to the alley where they would end our existence once more, history was going to repeat itself and I was powerless to stop it. The damage my body suffered over the next few minutes was as inevitable as my death but it wasn’t any easier to know this. The hatred and the anger pitted against me were so dark and I still didn’t understand why they hated us so much. I had never done anything but be nice to all of them, they were my classmates, my friends and my neighbors but in these moments they have done so much worse than just mere desertion in my moment of need. They refused to try and understand, they refused to accept a different orientation and a different way of thinking. Most of all they refused to show me any form of human decency, kindness or compassion.

Barrages of kicks and punches impacted repeatedly against my now damage-ridden body. “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” my past self screamed before I could even attempt to stop the words leaving my lips. They completely ignored me, they continued to attack us both, leaving less and less of us behind. “Please… please you can hurt me as much as you want just… leave him alone…” my past self said again in an attempt to salvage my boyfriends life from this debacle. I couldn’t stop my pain and most horribly of all he started to cough up blood as tears slowly leaked down his face. What happened next is beyond all reason, beyond anything I thought was possible in this world and any other for that matter.

The final whimper that escaped Aiden’s lips signaled to me that the earth-shattering and life changing event of my life was now taking place. This time it was different, this time it felt like a dark kind of aura was enveloping him. He refused to give in; he refused to move on and to leave my side. It felt so unnatural to watch him resisting, to not be able to let go of his agony and pain. How could this be possible anyway? It’s supposed to be a memory, everyone else around me should be static, shouldn’t they? How could events possibly change, time travel isn’t possible!

That’s when he forced himself upright and he somehow managed to stand with the use of some form of mental push or telekinesis that looked just as impossible as it sounds. He was using all of his energy, all of the ‘power’ he had gained as an ascended being to fight back against our memory. I realized that it wasn’t my memory and it wasn’t his memory it was ours. We should have let forces more powerful than us dictate our destiny but he wouldn’t stand to lose the connection we both shared. His eyes were a terrifyingly ominous black which seemed so full of hatred and chaos. This must be the result of giving in to your emotions, a path of darkness that I just couldn’t follow him down. I think deep down he knew I wouldn’t try and save myself, I was just so much gentler than him, I had already hurt enough people today. So as he ran over to pull them off me, I faded into the abyss once more and the last thing I saw this time was not his face void of life but one of concern and his screams of agony as my existence ended once more. It was a relief to be able to let go of the pain, death is so often seen as the end but it’s only the beginning, it’s merely a chance for us to let go of the pain and suffering we have accumulated as mere humans. So that we can learn from our pain and start a new as ascended beings.

The silence was short-lived however, I found myself in another room, my eyes were shut but I could feel restraints keeping my in my chair and I could hear the varied conversation of others in the room. Above all the rest I could hear the slow and patient voice of my incarnation fighting for me.

“…You can’t let him go without Aiden; it will destroy him and turn him to the side of darkness forever! Do you have any idea how powerful the side of darkness becomes if you allow this to go any further? Splitting the pair to create balance is the biggest mistake this council will make!”

“Just remember you are but a memory and we can extinguish your very being as if you were nothing to begin with, we are a conglomeration of both the council of light and darkness. There is no force in this UNIVERSE that matches our power so be very careful what you say. Just because you were a prior member on the council of light does NOT give you the right to disrespect us. Ian will go with you to the side of good and Aiden’s power will join the side of darkness and this is the end of the issue.”

At this point I opened my eyes and looked upon a white marble floor in which we were sitting in two marble thrones opposite two men speaking to a long table with twelve figures in white hooded robes and another twelve figures in dark ones. “What are you all talking about? You can’t take Aiden away from me!”

“This isn’t your choice to make, anymore Aiden will join us now and we can utilize his power to finally crush any force of light that approaches us. This is the last mistake the council of light and goodness will ever make.” Said a dark hooded figure in the center of his kin with a formal finality that overruled anything else I could say. With that final statement the dark hooded figures disappeared along with Aiden in a dark wisp of dust that was a final assurance and reminder of the darkness that now grasped his heart… his very soul. I just wanted to break down and cry again… this couldn’t be happening… it just couldn’t be. I still couldn’t move and when I struggled the restrains only seemed to tighten more.

“Now it is time for you to understand something,” said one of the remaining white hooded figures at the table. “Unlike those in the side of darkness, you have the ability to appear on earth as a human when your ascended form is resting and in our world when your human form is resting. The fact that you allowed yourself to die as you should have suggests that your goodness is too pure to be allowed to leave the grace of either world. Although you should be able to use some of your power on earth remember that your body is weakest there. In that way it is also your greatest weakness because if you die on earth once more, your soul will be forever vanquished and extinguished beyond repair from either side. Now go back to Earth for now and once you fall asleep you will be sent to be trained as once of us. Until such time, live your life as a descended being and be happy, clear your mind of emotion and most of all live the life you deserve.” And with that my incarnation vanished from my side as if to say there was nothing he could do. Then I felt myself become enveloped by light and it was an instantaneous transfer to my Earth body because when I awoke I was bleeding and hurt but alive… I was alive…