The Ascended - 5. Chapter 5

Aiden was mine and whether it was just in a memory, I AM going to see him again. No one can take him away from me; the memory of him smiling back at me was so crystal clear, so undiluted and perfect in every detail. As long as I have my memories he’ll be here with me, forever. As if my memory immersion was replying to my conscious thought, I started to feel that familiar emotional tug in the back of my mind which stole my attention once more. This time I’m ready to do this ‘memory immersion’ thing properly, this time I’m going to see Aiden without any problems or near misses as I almost plummet into the planet at speed. As soon as these emotions erupted into my conscious mind, I disappeared once more into the void of unconsciousness. It was for but an instant, it’s like the new emotional control I’ve gained has furthered my ability to control not only my memory immersion but my ability to move throughout this space. Now I know you can’t really tell how long you’ve spent in the unconscious void but it still didn’t feel as long as normal. I knew I was improving, slowly but surely.

That’s when I found myself inside my past self once more. This time however there was no doubt in my mind whether I would be able to immerse myself properly. I was in control over the immersion process which in turn made the travel to this dimension, this place, this time or whatever else it was, almost instantaneous. It seems that my past self is but six months or so younger than I am at the present time which is a guess at best because I can’t be entirely sure when I died.

This memory was so uniquely positive whenever I remember this particular Valentines Day, I’m filled with bliss and happiness that’s indescribable. I was sitting at home on the sofa with someone sitting next to me, my past self turned our head slightly and there Aiden was. The blonde angel of my dreams that I just couldn’t take my eyes off, he was just so perfect in every single way. At this point in time all we were was friends, best friends but friends nonetheless. “Aiden! Dude! Stop trying to change the subject! Holly is SO into you man! Why don’t you do something about it, she isn’t bad looking…” Now you can ask yourself what the FUCK I was thinking but really I was thinking the same thing as you are right now at the time. In many ways I think it was an attempt to try and see how much interest he had in girls because lets be honest my gaydar is CRAP. I mean I’m left wondering if there REALLY is such a thing as gaydar at all. Maybe gaydar is just an elaborate ploy to think that someone MIGHT be gay so that we confide our greatest secret in them. Make no mistake, in modern days as much as in the past, being gay has been a curse far more than a blessing.

“Eww! Holly is hideous man, you couldn’t PAY me to get anywhere NEAR her ugly face, never mind her body. You always have such TERRIBLE taste in women, I bet your gay or something!” he giggled and joked at my expense. If only he knew how right he was. My past self was so down about the whole thing he just kept wondering to himself if he was misreading the signs or seeing something that really wasn’t there. I mean it’s not unexpected really, Aiden doesn’t really LOOK gay. He has that surfer look with a golden tan which sort of made him glow or was that just when I look at him?

“Pfft! You’re the only fag around here!” I joked as I jumped him and started wrestling with him on the sofa until we both rolled off in a heap with him on top of me. I know, I know, it’s a pretty cheap attempt to grab a handful of that cute ass of his but hey; I was desperate for some action! I’ll be honest; this was one of the most erotic moments I can remember. It felt soo good to have his soft body up against me, he was just so warm and he wanted to be here, with me. The thought of that ALONE was starting to give me a hardon.

I was flat on my back with him holding my arms back out to the sides and his legs were tight against my waist. That’s when I looked to one side and noticed the bold letter “C” on his right hand which meant he was gay as well! You see there’s this awesome community of people online who follow an author called ‘comicality’ and on important dates and holidays you wear a letter “C” to show that you’re a fan as well. Logically if you ARE a fan of gay fiction you’re going to be gay. Unfortunately he hasn’t noticed the small “C” on my finger.

The majority of his body was against mine with his face and inch away from mine. I could feel his heart beating at a million miles an hour while his chest was slowly rising and falling. It’s just one of those things you don’t think about if you’re imagining you’re with someone. All you think about is how awesome it’s going to be to fuck their brains out but with him it wasn’t like that, this wasn’t infatuation. I really loved him; well I know that NOW anyway. I just smiled silently in an attempt to let him know that it’s okay and THAT ladies and gentleman is when I felt him start to harden down below. I mean I was semi-hard but still no where NEAR as hard as he was.

I can’t explain to you how weird it was to be immersed so deeply in a memory I was happy with. Unlike with the unhappy memories, there was no doubt in my mind about even TRYING to change anything, it was perfect to the point that it felt like *I* was in control.

His cheeks blushed into a deep red, he was as hard as a rock and we BOTH knew it. I think it took him a minute to notice not only that I was still smiling but also that I was getting as hard as he was. That’s when one of the most defining and wonderful moments in my life took place. Aiden lowered his head slightly until I felt his soft blond hair touch my forehead and his lips gently connected with mine. I loved every minute of it but my past self was just so shocked, I mean I wanted this badly but I was still SO SHOCKED when it happened. Unfortunately he then pulled back in an attempt to see how I would react and all he saw was the shock on my face.

“I’m sorry man I don’t know what I was thinking…erm I really have to go okay?” he said hastily in an attempt to undo what had been done. He jumped off me and practically bolted towards the door. My past self was absolutely devastated, after all this time Aiden had FINALLY plucked up the courage to do something and I mess it up. I mean seriously I was much to anxious to even consider trying anything, the idea was just inconceivable in my past self’s mind. Even when Aiden had made a move I had somehow managed to screw the whole thing up. My past self would have done anything to fix it, anything to repair the damage that his expression had caused. It’s surprising how much damage an emotion or a reaction can do to a situation, my past self could have been still under Aiden but his lack of control had already done the damage. It was time to try and repair the friendship at all costs!

“Wait!” I yelled after him and ran out the door and grabbed his shoulder but he just refused to stop. He was so scared that I would go and tell everyone about him, I could tell by the way he was shaking even while walking it was easy to see. “Stop man, its okay! Just say!” I tried again but he just refused to listen to any kind of reason he wanted to get away from me and anything that reminded him that he could be outed to the whole school tomorrow. I literally sprinted after him down the street and hugged him from behind so that he couldn’t get away which only seemed to infuriate him more, he just didn’t get it.

“GET OFF ME! Leave me alone!” He yelled at the top of his lungs and I just waited until he calmed down and I whispered silently in his ear so only he could hear. “I-I like you Aiden… I mean… I REALLY like you…” and I flashed the small “C” on my finger to show him that I was on the same team and he immediately understood the implications. It’s hard to explain really, I mean this sort of thing CAN’T usually happen, people just aren’t as lucky as I was that day. I just grabbed his hand and pulled him back towards my place. It was his turn to be shocked. That adorable smile of his quickly appeared back on his face as we made our way inside, I just love it when he smiles. There’s nothing in the world more magic than when he’s happy. Maybe if everyone got to see that smile everyday, it would make the world a better place. I think the world’s a better place because Aiden’s in it. There’s no one else like him.

What kind of surprised me about when we got back inside was how AWKWARD it was. I mean we both knew that the other one was gay or bi at the very least, so why was it so hard to do anything about it? In the end I sat down and pulled him down next to me and the same awkward silence followed. For a while we just sat there, enjoying each others company and calming down after what happened outside while watching some bad TV. After a while he put his arm around me which I guess was his way of showing some affection and letting me know he was interested as well. My past self just loved the attention, I mean before then I really didn’t have much person to person contact with my parents or anyone else, well not recently at least. The contact I HAD the misfortune to have was a kind that made me shudder whenever it resurfaced in my mind.

My past self slowly but surely got closer and snuggled into his chest, I guess it was because I felt safe there, it was comforting nonetheless. He slowly extended the arm that was around and slowly rubbed up and down my arm while rubbing my other arm as well. It was so nice to know that not only did he want me as his best friend he liked me as well, he REALLY liked me. My past self slowly moved his hand up and down Aiden’s thigh and I guess he took that as some kind of encouragement because he started to put his hand down my shirt to feel my chest. I mean it was kind of awkward to start with, I kept wondering why he didn’t just undo my shirt and get it over and done with, maybe it was his way of being subtle.

As if in response to my query, he slowly started unbuttoning my shirt until I was able to pull it off. At the same time he pulled his t-shirt over his head and I got to have a look at his flat tanned upper body that I wanted to taste and feel all over. I leant back against him with my back to his warm body; it was just so comforting to have his arms around me. I turned my head slightly and looked into his deep blue eyes and moved forward until our lips tenderly met. It was like a religious experience to have this closeness with Aiden, to be here with him once more. Every time I was with him it felt like the very first time and the memories clarity in my mind only boosted the power of the memory immersion itself, making the experience even more pleasurable if that’s even possible!

My new feelings just overcame my somewhat fragile mind. The love and lust combined within me was so powerful, I just couldn’t get enough and I just couldn’t go fast enough to satisfy my desires. My past self’s kisses soon turned into a more desperate variety which mirrored my own need for release. That’s when I felt Aiden’s hand slowly rub against the front of my pants and I went to full mast almost instantly. Aiden slowly broke away from our kiss and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind until we were almost at the point where I was sitting in his lap. He lazily leant his head against my shoulder and I could feel his breathing as the gentle warmth grazed against my ear which made the experience that much more alluring to my senses.

My past self’s mind was just filled with so many thoughts. I guess it made sense to worry if Aiden felt the same way, to worry about what might happen if someone found out about what we were doing. At that moment I don’t think it really mattered what anyone else thought, for that one moment Aiden and I are the only ones that existed in each others eyes. Emotions are fueled by our actions and this was no exception to the rule, our love shone through in how we showed our affection for each other.

He tightened his arms around me which made me feel even more special because he wanted to be as close to me as possible. I guess in the case of a happy memory there is nothing to be learned so it’s okay to embrace each others feelings and synchronize our minds, past and present minds as one. Our mirrored feelings and the fact that we wanted to do the same things just made the occurrence so influential in my mind. I didn’t have to fight the way I felt this time and this very IDEA strengthened my feeling which in my opinion can only increase my hold of my abilities as an enlightened being. I really must remember to ask my past incarnation more about what being an ascended being entails and what abilities I actually possess.

As one, my past self and I started to whimper involuntarily as Aiden continued to tease my now aching member. Oh this isn’t fair; he can’t keep teasing me like this. My blond lover slowly opened his mouth and started to suck gently on my earlobe which only made me want him more and I’m not entirely sure it was possible to want him anymore at this point! I just melted in his arms, I was his and I would have done anything for him at this point and he knew it.

“mmmmh… You know I’ve always liked you since the moment I walked into that class the very first morning we met. I want to be with you so bad, can we go to your room?” he asked in a desperate but hushed voice directly into my ear. I simply stood up, grabbed his hand and pulled him towards my room. There really was no doubt about what my past self or I wanted, we were of the same mindset and no one was going to stop us from getting what we wanted. We eventually found ourselves standing in my room with a bunch of movie posters on the walls, my desk and PC in the corner with my bed on the opposite side of the room.

I was still a bit apprehensive but my lust overcame me and I pulled him towards me and kissed him hard on the lips. It seems he quickly got the hint because he pushed me back on my bed and laid on top of me as he slowly started to grind into me. That’s when I started to shake involuntarily as images of my first sexual encounter flooded into my memory. I mean my first time had been with a women but sex is sex right? WRONG! Thinking of that day after school in that fateful classroom where my teacher took advantage of me was almost too much. So many people seem to think that women don’t take advantage of boys but I’m gay so I wasn’t even remotely into it. Shouldn’t I have the right to choose who I have sex with?

“Aww it’s okay…” Aiden said as he realized I was practically starting to hyperventilate which probably could have easily turned into a panic attack. “It’s okay to be nervous but don’t worry I’m here for you, all the way.” He whispered in my ear as he started to grind into me once more. I tried my best to stave off those old emotions; sometime soon I have to deal with those as well but not now, not today. Aiden quickly undid my belt and pulled my jeans down and I did the same to him, so there we were him grinding into me on my back with me silently whimpering and moaning in his ear.

“Ahh….AHHH…this just feels SOOO good…please don’t stop!” I continued to chant in his ear which seemed to make him want it more and more. I suppose it’s pretty understandable because moaning is pretty much the hottest thing ever! He stopped for a moment and I let out a whine as I needed his touch so badly. I wasn’t left hanging for long because he pulled down my boxers and slowly started to stroke my uncut member which stood at full attention. I just loved his touch and I couldn’t get enough. The feel of someone else’s hand on your organ is just unbelievable, it’s so much more pleasurable to have someone else do it. Even though I was in complete ecstasy I managed to pull his boxers down and start stroking him as well. I guess his was pretty similar really, same pubic hair, around the same size and uncut just like mine. Honestly it wasn’t his dick I was interested in, it was him, not that I would turn down a good suck of it.

I just wanted to take him into my mouth so badly and I leant down to do so but Aiden just smiled and pushed me right on my back and started to grind into me again. He knew what he wanted and I wasn’t about to stop him, I guess this way we both go to feel good and I could keep kissing that gorgeous body of his. I kissed up and down his neck, shoulders and everywhere else I could get too. Every part of his being was so sensual and alluring to all my senses, just like that very first day I met him. In some ways this felt BETTER than when the actual memory took place because my emotions have so much more power and are heightened because of my ascension.

This is the moment that I’ve been waiting for, the almighty moment of revealation inside my past self that just gave me so much pleasure. “Ahhhh…I..I love you Aiden” I whispered in his ear and he just went faster and faster. The realization that I REALLY LOVED him was so immensely life changing to my past self. I mean up until now there had still been a small part of him that thought it might just be lust and attraction but our relationship was just so much more. We didn’t need to have oral sex or anything more serious, being in his arms and grinding into him was a religious experience as it is.

Maybe one day when you make the same realization you’ll understand, love truly is an anomaly in life. It’s not just a feeling, it’s about the connection you share with a person that makes the feeling so unique. Unlike other feelings which are based on actions, love is based on a connection with someone. Actions help to create that connection and that connection can eventually lead to love. That extra part of the process is so unpredictable but that’s what makes love so wonderful because no one knows when it’ll hit. It’s not bias to race, creed, wealth or any other factors, love and the happiness associated with love can find anyone, anytime whether they are deserving of it’s total gratification is irrelevant. Love is unequivocal, unflinching and everlasting. We, as human beings assure the continued existence of love and thus it can never truly be gone. Emotion isn’t the key to the power of an enlightened being; love must be the true centre of feeling. Love is truly a fundamental concept in the human design.

As all this love and emotional satisfaction lifted me up onto a high that is unrivaled by anything else in the world, an orgasm unlike anything I’ve felt before was building inside of me. At this point Aiden and I were whimpering and moaning alarmingly loudly and the bed springs were about as loud, I’m honestly surprised that no neighbors came to investigate the dying animals inside. Our bodies were one as he pushed against me with his soft, warm physique with his arms outstretched around me and my legs now fastened tightly around his waist. At the same moment we both released an orgasm of tremendous proportions, I’ve never had an orgasm so powerful. I came again and again all over his chest and he did the same to me. I lay in his arms and experienced a truly fulfilling after orgasm experience with no shame at what I had done with the boy I loved more than anyone else in existence.

The last thing that occurred before that wonderful valentines memory vanished into the void once more was a few words from Aiden that I’ll never forget. “I love you so much Ian. No matter what happens, I want to be with you and whatever challenges come our way. We can accomplish anything if we’re together as one. There’s simply no place I would rather be and no other person I would rather be with. You complete me…”

“You complete me…” his final words echoed in the back of my mind as I felt the endless void of unconsciousness swallow me once more. I couldn’t help wondering what was next because that was my last memory of the ‘three’ I needed to immerse myself in, only time will tell I suppose.