Happy Birthday to Me - 2. Torrid

The Venue was jam packed. The collective excitement was palpable and contagious. Despite being at Torrid, the club were Leroy saw Drew cheating on me, I was in good spirits. I just couldn’t shake the feeling I would see her tonight. I lightly touched the pendant attached to the necklace Jazzy gave me.

“You okay?” Jazzy yelled in my ear. I Nodded and looked for the bar. I could use a beer right about now.

Leroy had long abandoned us to go dance with a hot blonde twink the moment we stepped inside the club. He would magically reappear when we felt it was time to leave. This often happened. I had a feeling the only reason Jazzy was staying by was so that I wouldn’t be alone.

“Go dance with him.”

“What?”

“Go. Dance.” I yelled gesturing to the cute grungy guy with the come-hither stare that Jazz was totally pretending not to eat up.

“What about you?” I shrugged.

“Bar.” It was better to speak in monosyllables. The music was loud.

“Text me okay. If you need me.” I nodded and we separated.

The bar area was nuts. It would thin out once the band came on. In the mean time I weaved my way through the throngs of people until I got to the counter. There were three bartenders working tonight and the first two that I noticed did not notice me. The third bartender was a brunette with a pixie cut in the middle of mixing a drink. After passing off the drink to a customer she nodded at me.

“What are you having?” I blinked her eyes were really blue, the ocean came to mind.

“You okay?” She moved closer to my ear, her voice a touch louder. She smelled like vanilla.

“Yea uh can I have a beer.” It didn’t take her long to spin around and serve it to me. I decided to stay here since I had a good view of Jazz and Leroy chatting up their respective partners. I sighed looking down into my beer bottle. Since i wasn't in the clubbing mood it was going to be long night.

***

The lights around the venue dimmed and for a moment the sound followed as well then ear shattering cheering broke the temporary silence. The opening act was about to come on. By now the bar area had cleared quite a bit since everyone was rushing towards the stage.

“Another?” I had long since finished my beer and I couldn’t summon the courage to speak to her again. I smiled nodding. She brought me another beer and leaned against the counter. “Not into the band?” She smiled impishly. I felt something go through me that was almost foreign. I shrugged frowning it was too soon for this it had only been three months since my break up. But then again, she just asked about the band.

“why do you ask?” She got a rag and started wiping down the counter.

“You’re here and not there.” She gestured towards the stage. She was cute. I couldn’t help noticing.

“I don’t like crowds.”

“Good thing you’re at a concert then.” She grinned. “I’m Tiffany by the way.” I nodded. The band was good. Heavy on the guitars and drums yet still very melodic. The vocalist had amazing pipes. I turned back towards her she was looking at me with an arched brow.

“Sorry I’m really bad at this.”

“At what?”

“Talking to strangers.” She beamed. I felt looser, thanks to the beer. “I’m Liz, Elizabeth.”

“Liz.” She confirmed. I nodded. The music ended and the band exited the stage. The audience started chanted and stomping their feet. She leaned over the counter and leaned closer to me. “Wanna get out of here? At least for 15 minutes.” I nodded and swallowed grateful for the low light. I drained my beer as she went over to her coworkers.

***

A few minutes later we were outside leaning against the wall of the club.

“So how long have you been a bartender?” I felt like kicking myself. She threw me a bone and answered honestly.

“This is just my part time gig. I’m really a full-time art student.” She smiled. She had a nice smile. I didn’t know much about art, right now I wish I knew more. “What about you? What’s your day time gig?”

“English major. Aspiring English prof.”

“That’s cool, my mom's a teacher. In high school.” She added “I mean I know that’s not the same.”

“It's pretty much the same.” We smiled. She moved a little closer to me. I pretended not to notice.

“Why academia?” I paused. “You don’t have to…” She began when she sensed my hesitation.

“No it’s okay. My Dad’s a professor and he always talked about the joys of imparting wisdom. I want to be apart of that link.” I immediately felt like a tool.

“That’s really cool Liz.” When I looked at her she was already looking at me. No one’s ever called me cool before I told her as much. “I guess they never took the time to get to know you.” I blushed and shivered when she raised her hand to stroke my cheek. “Fuck. I have to go back to work.” She murmured. “Take down my number.” We swapped phones. When we got back inside, she leaned against me and spoke directly into my ear.

“Call me.” I stood rooted in my spot as I watched her go.

^^^

The concert was good for all of us. Jazzy and Leroy gushed about the phone numbers and potential hook ups on the horizon I stayed quiet in the cab ride home. It was 3 in the morning when we said good bye to Leroy. The cab would take him the rest of the way home. The house was eerily dark. Ma always used to leave a light on when we went out.

“Shit.” Jazzy was alarmed. I looked at her. She frowned as she unlocked the door and turned on the foyer light. Jazzy quickly removed her shoes and raced upstairs I followed as closely as I could. We ended up in Ma’s, formerly Dad’s old study. There was Ma in his worn leather chair cradling a bottle of jack that was a quarter empty. Jazzy deflated before my eyes. I raced over to Ma.

“Ma,” I took the bottle from her hand she was breathing, just slumped over. I gently shook her shoulder. Slowly her eyes fluttered opened and she smiled a dopey smile.

“Lizzy.”

“I’ll go put on some coffee.” Jazzy left the room her voice strained.

“Ma let’s sit up.” My mother was never one to drink it seems a lot has happened since I left. I helped her up and sighed.

“Lizzy, your so much like your father.” I frowned not sure where this was going.

“Don’t compare me to him.” My voice was colder than I would’ve liked. She smiled fondly.

“I miss him so much it hurts.” My heart broke at the defeated sound of her voice. Her face looked friendly enough though. I sighed.

“I’m sorry Ma, I miss him too.” She blinked, then frowned.

“He left me for a man Lizzy.” It took a moment for me to understand her words. She lowered her eyes. “One of his colleagues at work.” I stood and rubbed my temples, trying to process every. A choked sob escaped her lips. “I’m so sorry Lizzy. I finally got to a place where I could breath and then and then…” She didn’t have to say it. I moved over to her and rubbed her back. As she cried. “The pain won’t go away. He was the love of my life.”

“I’m really sorry Ma but let us help instead of bottling it up.” Her cries grew louder. Jazzy took that moment to appear.

“Oh God the crying phase.” She whispered as she passed me. It made me wonder how much she knew and how long this has been going on. Why didn’t Jazzy tell me? “Ma I brought you some hot chocolate.” She looked up through tear filled eyes. Jazzy put the cup in her hand and slowly she downed the hot beverage. “Let’s get you to bed.” It was past 4 am. Jazzy deftly slipped her arm around Ma and helped her up it was a practiced routine. After realizing I was just standing there, I ran to the opposite side of Ma to help Jazzy carry her to her bedroom.

***

Jazzy and I stayed up most of the night discussing our parents divorce in my room. Jazzy didn’t know the details.

“She wont talk about her pain unless she’s drunk. The first time it happened was after you left and the frequency has been increasing.” A stab of guilt ran through me.

“It’s not your fault Lizzy and you didn’t deserve her silent treatment.”

“She needs help.” Jazzy nodded. “She won’t go to therapy.” Jazzy said flatly.

“I think we should call dad. Maybe she’ll listen to him.” Jazzy features sank.

“Maybe.” Her voice was small.

“What Jazzy, don’t tell me you blame him after knowing this.” My voice rose.

“Calm down. It’s just, I see her pain everyday in everything she does. I don’t know if involving him is a good idea.”

“Okay.” I resigned myself to her logic.

^^^

I was awakened by the jarring light that streamed though my window. I barely opened my eyes Ma stood by the window smiling softly.

“How are you so chipper after last night.” I groaned. I felt a swift kick from under the covers. I was always grumpy in the morning and after last night I would need an I.V. drip of coffee to wake up. I yawned and turned my head to Jazzy’s direction. She was glaring at me. Right tact, I had forgotten. We had both fallen asleep in the clothes we wore to the club.

“Up and at em girls. Jazzy do you mind getting breakfast started I have something to say to your sister.”

Jazzy and I exchanged a look. Slowly she slid out of the bed and closed the door behind her.

“Last night was a low point for me. I’ve been struggling but last night…” She looked away before meeting my eyes again. She let out a shaky breath. “I need to work through my issues, with a therapist. I think it’s time to move on with my life…” Her voice lowered I’ve been horrid to you and Jazzy I’ll never forgive myself. I Love you. I just I look at you and the hurt comes back…”

“It’s okay Ma, it’s okay.” My heart cracked. But I smiled anyway, Her smile in return was sad. She cleared her throat

“let’s go get something to eat.”

***

Breakfast was good. Pancakes my favourite. We mostly ate in silence but the mood had shifted it was lighter. After breakfast the three of us hung around the kitchen cracking jokes. I talked about school and I was pleased they were both relieved when I let them know I was moving back home after my final semester. My phone buzzed and I blushed when I saw the I.D., Tiffany. Both Ma and Jazzy wore matching smirks. Jazzy raised an eyebrow and I excused myself. When I got to the living room I checked my messages. It was an invitation to a gallery opening later tonight. I only had a few more days left before I had to go back to school so I wanted to make the most of my time with my family. I looked at my phone, unsure of what to do.

“That better not be Drew.” I spun on my heel coming face to face with Ma.

“No, we broke up.”

“Good I never liked her.”

“I’m thinking of going out tonight.” She nodded.

“You should you’ve worked hard. I’m-,” I could sense an apology coming so I cut her off.

“It’s okay.” After a moment of silence, She nodded and went back to the kitchen. I watched her go before sending a message back to Tiffany.

‘Sure, what time?’

The End