Depression - 3. I Am Already Dead

I’m standing on a ledge

looking down, trying to see

the bottom that isn’t there

maybe there is no bottom

maybe I would fall forever

maybe that is hell

to fall for eternity

expecting an end that never comes

or maybe that is heaven

and I think maybe the ledge

is just the edge of a grave

and I am already dead

I’m trapped in a tunnel

but there is no light to see

because it doesn’t have an end

it doesn’t even have a beginning

just a wall bricking it up

and I don’t know whether I am trapped

on the outside or on the inside

but I know I can’t move

and I know I can’t feel

and I think maybe it isn’t a tunnel

I think maybe it is a coffin

and I am already dead

I’m drowning in a light

my eyes unable to close

the brightness blinding me

even as it draws me in

maybe it is center of time

the core of the universe

the fires of creation burning bright

calling me back to my beginning

or maybe it is your eyes

and I think maybe the light

is just my funeral pyre

and I am already dead