Loss - 2. I Miss You

I sit here and stare at the blank screen--

my feelings flow from my eyes,

but the words don’t flow from my fingers.

My throat tightens and I feel the knot

rising from the pit of my stomach

choking me, keeping the words locked inside.

I miss your smile.

Do you know that?

And your blue eyes that laughed

long before your lips ever did.

And I miss your hands

that grasped mine so many times

when I was falling,

and your arms that still caught me

when i wouldn’t even grasp your hand.

And I don’t know sometimes

how I even wake up

when I know your face

won’t be on your pillow.

And I don’t remember what it is like

to sleep without the nightmares

because you aren’t there to keep them away

or to hold me when I wake up screaming.

So I just don’t sleep much anymore.

And there are days when I manage

to function like all is fine.

And there are those I love and who love me

that keep me from stepping over the edge.

But I miss you so much I can’t breathe

sometimes, at night, like now,

when you used to sit with me

and we would just be close.

And I miss your breath against my cheek

and your whisper in my ear

and your fingers wrapped around mine

But mostly, I just miss you.