Spirit and Space - 3. The Universe Speaks

Gypsy, age 14

It was hot. Hotter than he ever imagined it could be. Grandfather had insisted he come out to stay this summer. He hadn't even reached the reservation yet and he was melting. "This is what I get for living an easy life!" He had certain things packed he couldn't live with out for all summer. Included was his laptop. He had finally made a name for himself, or at least enough of one he opened a Swiss account to store his money. His job was simple... Try to break into security systems and leave a virus. He didn't care who paid, but he had been in some interesting systems, many of them governmental. "Geez, was it only June?" He couldn't believe it had been better than a year since he had been to see Grandfather. Last summer as so crazy. He broke his leg and had to wear a cast from his ankle to his waist. Now it was better, but it took all summer and most of the fall to heal. At the edge of Indian Territory Talon was waiting with a pony and two pack mules. Grandmother stopped the car and Gypsy unpacked his stuff. Talon didn't speak to him, only helped him tie his duffle to the mule. She waved and left. He would see her in two months on this spot. The ponies headed to camp.

"How is Grandfather?" No response. "Talon, why won't you talk to me?" There was no sense in forcing the issue. He would talk when he was ready and not two seconds before. Talon was 24, ten years older than Gypsy. Running Deer had been a man with a family of his own when Gypsy was born. That his mother died in childbirth was one of the reasons he was being raised by his grandmother. There were times however he wished he could stay with Grandfather forever. Gypsy mused over what could be eating Talon for the hour's ride to camp. As they arrived he saw a council of Elders assembled. That could be good or it could be bad. Which ever, he was about to find out, as one rose and came toward him. There were no women and children in the camp. This was bad. He got off the pony and gave the traditional greeting. The elder returned it. At least he was welcome, he thought.

"Gypsy, our tribe has had a problem since the night of your man making. Our medicine man says you are his successor, while the chief argues you can not be because your blood is not of his line." Gypsy looked at them.

"Why would he think that?" The elders looked one to the other.

"Because of you. Will you agree to participate in a ceremony that will determine one way or the other?" Gypsy nodded. He would agree, even though he couldn't become their medicine man. "We begin now. Strip, you must enter the circle as one of us, leave everything not given by us outside the circle." Gypsy was naked in the sand, everything he had been wearing was from off the reservation. Grandfather offered him the pipe, he took it and smoked. It was the same thing he smoked on his man-making day. His head grew light and things became both sharper and blurred at the same time. He was given a drink and another pipe and soon was hallucinating. He saw the webbing that bound person-to-person, wife to husband, father to son. He saw one of these from him to a baby... It was nearby and only a few months old. His son with Star Blanket. Another strand bound him to Scout, a brave three years his senior, what could that one mean? He was bound to Grandfather, but he was bound to Sun Runner, the medicine man as well. The world spun and he saw interconnections and then he was face up in the dirt while an eagle screamed overhead and a wolf howled in the daytime. His head was spinning still as he tried to sit up.

"My son..." He passed out a second time. Again they brought hi to and he opened his eyes to see the medicine man... "Father?" And passed out again. He had weird dreams while he was out the Elders moved him into his lodge, where he would sleep off the effects of the smoke. The next morning Gypsy woke up with a huge headache. He pulled on a loincloth and went outside. A maiden from a nearby cook fire brought him food. His own hearth was cold, there was no woman to keep it, and he doubted he would be able to get one to agree just for the summer. He saw Scout across the camp, at seventeen he was still living in his mother's lodge. Gypsy thought about that. If his mother was still alive, he would probably still be living in her lodge. As it was his brothers and sister had no room for him in their lodges even when he visited only two months a year. Star Blanket was across the camp, nursing a baby. He went to her.

"Star Blanket, it's nice to see you again. The baby, he is handsome. What did you name him?"

"Bright Star, he looks like his father. Especially in the eyes."

"He's a fine son, any warrior would be proud. Who's hearth do you tend?" In response Running Deer came out. Gypsy stood facing his eldest brother. If she sought refuge with his brother, then the baby could well be his.

"She is my woman now, but her son came with her, I did not put him in her belly."

"I know, he is mine. Raise him well, brother." Gypsy turned to walk away.

"He will know his father as his father if you will have him. He needs his mother now, but he won't forever." Gypsy turned to face Running Deer.

"Thank you. May I hold him?" Running Deer nodded and Gypsy gathered his son to his chest. The boy's golden green eyes stared back at him... If there was any question about him being this boy's father they ended with one look. Gypsy was amazed at the child, the first baby he ever held.

"He was your gift to me, for making you a man, you gave me a son to provide during the winter of my life. Thank you." Gypsy didn't know what to say. Star Blanket tended Running Deer's hearth and Gypsy ate again from his brother's fire. When the baby was asleep Gypsy handed him back to his mother. He was needed at Grandfather's lodge, and there were so many questions from yesterday. If this was right, then the other could be too, and if it was he would have to become shaman. Grandfather's lodge was empty, as was Sun Runner's lodge. Scout met up with Gypsy about half way back from the Medicine Lodge.

"You know you are a Shaman." Gypsy stopped dead in his tracks.

"How did you know my thoughts?" Scout downcast his eyes.

"I am sorry. I thought you were told yesterday. I just wanted you to know I wanted your man making night." He blushed and ran off. Gypsy stared after him... He wanted... Gypsy was now very confused. He decided maybe the best thing he could do was to think. He walked across the dry land until he found the place he wanted. It was the top of a crevasse which used to hold a river. The river was long dried up, but it's bed remained and it was that place he was seeking... He stood at the highest point, feet planted and arms raised in defiance as he demanded answers from the universe. The shaman was going back to his lodge when he felt Gypsy's demands. He shivered and smiled, the boy was powerful, and his son would be even more so. Gypsy decided he could safely practice his arts while he waited out the universe. The sun blazed it's path across the sky as he held one position after the other, then he sat facing the sunset, still asking "who am I?" To the universe, but the universe was quiet. Gypsy was patient, if the cast had taught him anything it taught him patience. The moon rose and Gypsy turned to face it. As he turned it seemed the world stopped... His back had been to the ravine, and now in the moonlight, it was a raging river again. Trees lined it's sides and animals were plenty. A voice boomed all around him and through him...

"Space Weaver, your time is not come, why do you summon us?" Gypsy couldn't move, only think in pictures... his mouth didn't work. He flung the thought pictures out and away because he didn't know where to send them. "This is not your path, Space Weaver. Accept who you are and your path will lead you true." Star Blanket and Bright Star faded from his view, Scout blazed bright in his thoughts. Then Scout faded and five other faces, all male and all about his age, blazed across the sky. One was white, one blue, one green, one red, and one yellow. A rainbow of color blazing strong. "These I have called, these have answered the call, his face joined the others, but framed in black. Understanding will come." Gypsy knew what he had to do. He would not be Shaman, but what would become of his life? The presence withdrew from him and the world turned normal again, but he hurt all over, aching painful hurting. His body would not respond to his mind's direction and he fell in the dirt, face up. He lay there exhausted, unable to move. It hurt to breathe, but he had to breathe or he would never figure out what he was meant to do. The moon moved ever so slowly, picking her way daintily across the star path... He had been called Space Weaver, his man name, chosen by the spirits. His head hurt, pounding in rhythm with the universe. He closed his eyes and made his breathing regular, with focus he could do it, and he slept. Scout was laying on the ground outside his mother's lodge, it was too hot to sleep inside. He had a hard time falling asleep that night... Still having a hard time believing how he made a fool out of himself. Earlier that day, the tribal elders told him the traditions concerning men like himself. He had a choice to make and soon. He would be eighteen by the end of summer, and he had to choose to become a man or live as a woman. He wanted both, he wanted neither. Maybe he should just leave the reservation. Other people did it, Gypsy did it. He was staring at the moon, which was high in the sky when it seemed to swell and engulf him. The black tattoo that circled his wrist practically glowed. He had forgotten all about it, it was his tie to Gypsy, even if he didn't know it.

"Little warrior, it is your man making. You were called to my service and I have charged you t teach and protect Space Weaver. Go to him now, he needs you." Scout stood up, unafraid, this was what happened to him when he received the tattoo. He stepped in faith on the moonbeam, trusting whichever power of the universe to keep him safe. Grandfather had been sitting outside his lodge talking with the elders and the shaman when they saw Scout walking the moonbeam. The universe had decided it was time, and he was at peace with that. Scout stepped off the moon path at Gypsy's feet, he was badly sunburned and barely breathing, but wrapped in a protective cocoon of moonbeam. Scout wondered how he was supposed to get him home when he noticed path he took was still there. He wondered to himself if he dared? Decided he did and lifted Gypsy up. His hands touched the blanket of moon, not him, but he lifted easy enough. Scout walked across the sky holding Gypsy near to him, praying the path would not falter. The stars each lent their light to strengthen his pathway with was beginning to fade as the moon lowered in the western sky. It was a strange and eerie sight that the Elders witnessed along with many of the women of the tribe as they were up with the sun to tend their hearths. Many of the warriors saw it as well for they were leaving on a hunt. Grandfather smiled and went into his lodge to get some sleep. The universe had chosen Gypsy's next protector, his job was finished. Gypsy slept feverishly and Scout tended him alone. The Shaman came to heal him could not enter the lodge door, it burned him every time he tried to cross the threshold. Grandfather came to check on his progress.

"He sleeps, his skin is healing, but his mind wonders." There was genuine concern in Scout's voice.

"You wanted to be his first, you love him?" Grandfather looked at Scout, who blushed. "It had to be as it was, just as now has to be as it will. His son will be the next Shaman, from the cradle the boy is strong. It was all part of the vision he had before he faced the pole. The others did not believe, especially when he chose a woman thought barren. Sun Runner was to convinced it would be him, but when I marked him as belonging to the universe he was furious. His broken leg that kept him away last year was also in his vision, as was you. When you can leave him you will face the pole, Star Blanket will prove your manhood, then you will take her to be your first wife. She is not happy with Running Deer, who resents the golden eyes of the boy he calls son. When Gypsy chooses to return your love you will complete his lessons, then we must wait for the universe to call him." Scout nodded. The fever finally broke and Scout trusted his care to Star Blanket and no other. The presence of his son calmed him, so they moved the boy into his father's lodge, and where the son went the mother must also go. A week after the incident Gypsy was sitting up in the bed, his wits back to him, but he spoke softly and winced at the light. Before one dawn Scout disappeared into the sweat lodge with his brother and Grandfather, by noon he was facing the pole and by dark he was on his way to becoming a man in the standards of the tribe. The next day the four were firmly established as a lodge. Scout did the hunting, Star Blanket tended the hearth and the womanly duties, Gypsy played with his son. Another week and he was venturing outside, his skin almost a normal color and texture, by the end of the week he was joining in on the hunt. As always his aim was true, only now his vision was longer. His family was always well fed, as was his tribe. His life fell into a comfortable routine that would be ending in less tome than he had already spent here. Two nights before his last with his family before going back to the real world Star Blanket announced the lodge would be receiving a second son. Scout's son. Bright Star's brother. It was good. On the dawn of the next morning, Gypsy announced he was going to spend the day with the universe and wanted Scout to come along. They left riding ponies Scout brought with him to his lodge, by midmorning it was too hot to continue. They stopped in a grove of shade trees that surrounded a spring.

"I intend to swim, want to join me?" Gypsy invited as he stripped off the loincloth and riding chaps. Scout didn't say anything, only stripped as well. "I am glad you will be my son's father. He will need a powerful protector from his grandfather."

"Your father is dead. How can he harm Bright Star?"

"His grandfather is Sun Runner. I saw it in one of my visions. He is my father." Scout didn't know what to say. "Do you still wish you could have had my man making night?"

"Yes. But I'm glad our paths chose as they did, or I would have never known the pleasure of a woman nor have a lodge and son."

"Scout, have you ever slept with a man before?" Scout nodded.

"At school, we all had to attend, tribal law. There was an older boy who ... Seduced me. I found pleasure in it and soon I was popular among a certain group. I enjoyed it, but I never knew lust until I saw you. I wanted you bad that night. Your grandfather knew, so did Sun Runner. I was so upset you chose Star Blanket, but your Grandfather comforted me, and I understood it had to be so."

"I desire you. I chose Star Blanker because she was in my vision, but you were there too. I think I was supposed to father Bright Star and it would be my only chance. She came reluctantly to my lodge that night, and left just as reluctantly. Will you make me a man today?" Scout looked at Gypsy.

"Space Weaver, I serve you. If it is that you wish, then that you will get." Scout kissed him. Gypsy kissed back and the sun shone down on their lovemaking. Gypsy's body responded and Scout was pleased, words of love and joy was shared between them and when they were spent, they lay together in the sun and the wind. The sunset and the moon rose, and again they shares their love. As the sun was breaking the dark both had strange dreams... Their paths were being revealed to them. Gypsy would leave and not return t the reservation again until the universe called. Scout would raise both their sons as if he gave both life. One would be Shaman, the other Chief. It was a solemn pair who rode back to the camp. That entire day and the night that followed Gypsy spent with his son, knowing he would not see him again for a very long time. When the sun rose Gypsy packed his things and rode the pony out to meet his grandmother, Scout accompanied him to bring the pony back.

"I will miss you my brother." Gypsy told him as the car crested the hill.

"And I, you." Scout returned.

"Raise my son well... Teach him to love." Tears welled up in his eyes.

"I will raise him as my own, and he will know love." Gypsy gave the traditional good-bye, and Scout returned it.

"May the universe protect you Star Walker." The use of the name to him by the universe shocked Scout.

"As it protects you Space Weaver." He took the pony and was off before the car came to a stop. There was a stranger in the driver's seat.

"Where's Grandmother?"

"Gypsy, I hardly recognized you! I'm Petros. She is ill." Gypsy looked down at himself. It was a wonder he was recognized at all. His chest was bare, except for the scaring, and he wore a summer loincloth and riding chaps. The moccasins Star Blanket made him were on his feet and a headband given to him by Scout held his loose hair out of his eyes. His only jewelry was the earring given by Grandfather and a choker given him by the Elders for the birth of his son.

"It's OK, usually I change before coming out, but today... I felt I should leave here a warrior. I'll change if it will make you feel better." Petros laughed.

"Actually it suits you. Need some help?" Gypsy shook his head, tossed the bag in the back seat and sat in the front.

"Nope, I do this all the time." Petros nodded and made a U-turn. He turned up the music and both were lost in their own thoughts. They stopped at the first gas station. "I better change, dressed like this the law can pick me up and take me back." He took his things out of the duffel and headed for the bathroom. When he came back out he wore jeans, a T-shirt, and soft soled boots. He kept on the choker, but everything else was in the duffel. He braided his hair and pulled it up under a ball cap.

"Now you look like your... Grandmother said."

"How is she?"

"Not well, she had some type of seizure about a month ago. The doctors think it's her heart, but she's hanging on. She's been asking for you, but no one knew how to get you before today." Gypsy nodded.

"She will live until I get there. Then she will be no more." Petros looked at this boy. At fourteen he seemed more knowledgeable about things than he should. Gypsy slept most of the way back as he usually did. Petros studied him as well as he could. His skin was smooth still, puberty hadn't hit in full force, but his eyes spoke of knowledge beyond his years. He was as tall as Petros who was 21, but not lanky as most 14 year olds. He was muscular with little fat to be seen. He had the thick hair and fine features of his mother's side and the skin tones of his father's side. Petros wondered if he was a virgin. He way he carried himself said not, but his age defied that conclusion. The drive took less time as Petros drove faster than did Grandmother, but it was dark when they arrived at a hospital parking lot. Gypsy opened his eyes. Petros led him up to his Grandmother's room. Gypsy was shocked when he saw her. Always, his whole life, she had been strong, now she was dying. There was family all around... The doctor said she probably wouldn't live through the noon, but she was hanging on.

"Gypsy." He touched her hand and smiled.

"I am here. You can go in peace now."

"You are not yet grown, who will help you?"

"I am able to do it. You knew last year I was a man. This summer I kept my own lodge with a first wife and a son. His name is Bright Star, watch him grow from the other side. I worried about leaving him with my brother, but with you to watch, he will grow strong and as fine a son as I could wish."

"The boy has your eyes?" Gypsy nodded. "He should be easy to find then, an Indian with Gypsy eyes. Like you. They tried to hide you from me. Deer said you were his son. He was sixteen and claiming you." That surprised Gypsy. "But the eyes gave it away. Bright Star -- is he with Talon or Deer?"

"Neither, Grandmother, but the brother of my heart, Star Walker. He took my first wife and gave her a son... Watch them both. They are special."

"Brother of you heart... So it is decided then."

"Yes. It is decided which path I will follow. I am not afraid."

"The universe has always protected you. I will protect the son of your loins and the son of your heart. Good bye, sweet son."

"Good bye, mother." With surprise in her eyes she breathed her last breath and died. Gypsy stood up and looked at his family. "She's gone." Petros looked at Gypsy again... Now he better understood the man who stood before him. Tears brimmed his eyes and fell silently down his cheeks. He left the room and Petros followed.

"She wanted a ritual burial. Do you know our rituals?" Gypsy nodded.

"I know your rituals. What part would you have me take?" Petros looked at Gypsy.

"You really don't know who you are do you?" Gypsy looked at him.

"I am Gypsy Phoenix Smith, the reborn wanderer, Space Weaver. Who do you think I am?" Petros stared.

"You are her only living child. The ritual is yours to assign. She was your mother and you her son. How could you have not known, yet call her mother?" Gypsy looked terrified.. If his mother wasn't his mother and his father wasn't his father, then Grandfather was not. His brothers were not. His would was spinning too fast for him to keep control. When he came to his head hurt, but he understood many things that didn't make much sense before. He went back in to his mother and began the rituals. The older women approved, but his heart wasn't in it.

Three days later they laid her to rest. School would be starting soon. He couldn't wait to get dome normalcy in his life again, but the family had other plans. Petros broke the news to him over lunch a couple days after the funeral.

"The family has decided that you should go to a boarding school for the next couple years." Gypsy looked at him in disbelief.

"I want to stay in my house, go to my school. It's a good school, all my friends are there."

"Gypsy, none of the family wants to be responsible for you day to day. I can't even commit to it. No one has room for a teenage boy in their house. I know this hurts, but it's for the best really."

"Petros, when you picked me up what did you see?" Petros shrugged.

"I don't understand."

"You were sent to pick up Gypsy Phoenix Smith how did you perceive me when you first saw me?"

"I saw a boy playing a man in a world to which he didn't belong." Petros looked out the window as he said it. He couldn't lie to this boy-man.

"No, that is what you expected to see. What did you see?"

"I saw a confident man who knew the path he was taking even as he waited to begin his journey. Then you changed your clothes and I saw, still a confident man. When you went up to your mother I saw a scared son, but still you were strong, saying all the things she needed to hear to pass easily. I doubt I could have done it."

"Then help me stay in my house."

"The family says you are to go to boarding school."

I can get Grandfather to come and live with me, or my wife, but they belong in the world they live. I won't go to boarding school no matter what any family says. By tribal law I am a man eligible to have a lodge of my own. I'll fight."

"You don't get it. I can't oppose the family like that. I depend on them for everything, so do you. Your mother didn't leave you independently wealth, neither did mine. I went to this school. It's a good school and not as strict as the family thinks."

"I don't need the family or their money. You are welcome to live here with me if you ever want to get out of their influence, but until the police come to make me go, I'm not leaving."

"I wish you luck. My brother fought as you did. I wish I had the nerve."

"How old were you when your parents died?"

"Eleven, Markos was fifteen, by seventeen he was living on the streets, by twenty he was dead. He had his freedom, but I sold mine for protection."

"I forgive you, but I will not go." Petros got up and left. Gypsy was never so alone in his entire life, but it was his path. The next day he walked four doors down to Dan's house and they discussed the problem.

"My dad's a lawyer, Gypsy, why don't you discuss it with him?" So he did.

"Gypsy, you are only 14. Are you sure you want to be emancipated? You'll have to prove to the courts you can support yourself." Gypsy handed him a folder, inside was his bank account information. "How did you get this much money?"

"Breaking into computer security systems to find their weaknesses... It's contract work and I'm good. I'm called Nomad." He pushed some papers across the desk. "My business papers... It's all legal. I made sure and Dan helped." Dan's father nodded. It was legal, except the owner of the business was 14 and without legal guardian.

"I have a compromise to your problem, and you can help me with something as well. Why don't I become your guardian and Dan lives with you?" He looked at Dan and back to Dan's father.

"Why?" Dan blushed.

"Dad got married over the summer while you were gone, so I haven't had the chance to talk to you about it. It seems my new stepmother doesn't like me as well as she did and because of the prenup, Dad's in a pickle. I think it was a set-up, but she's pregnant and nobody wants to listen to me."

"Oh, okay, so if I agree to this what happens?"

"I become your legal guardian, if you mess up you call me and I straighten it out. Dan lives with you, I pay the bills and your account and job doesn't' ever come out in court. If your other family members found out about it I doubt you would ever break away from them, the way you described them that is. I'll provide you with a housekeeper / chauffeur as neither of you are old enough to drive and Michelle is happy and I still get to spend time with my son."

"Do it. I can live under those circumstances. I also need a will drawn up. I want my money to go to a trust fund for my son and his brother." Dan and his dad both stared drop jawed at him.

"Would you mind explaining yourself?" Gypsy explained as much about his heritage as he dared, leaving in the man making, leaving out the dreams.

"My son's name id Bright Star, I don't know his brother's name and will probably never know it. I left Star with his mother and my lover to raise. Star Walker took Star Blanket to wife and gave her a son of his own, out sons will be raised as brothers."

"WOW!" Dan looked at his friend, confused.... "You mean she got pregnant the first time? The woman who was old enough to be your mother?" Gypsy nodded. "Then you screwed a guy and he married this old woman who had your son?" Again a nod. "Now she's his wife and she's pregnant with his child and you're OK with that?" Another nod. "And if something happened to you they would get a bunch of money?"

"Our customs are different from yours, Dan you knew that when you saw the ... Marks."

"I knew, but I guess it didn't sink in until now. Are you going to support your son?"

"He's no longer my son, except by blood. When Star Walker took his mother to wife, he basically adopted the child. I wasn't even consulted. I approved, of course, but it was her decision. She could have lived with my brother until my son was grown by tribal law he would have had to take her in and make her his wife, even if he had one already."

"So you get off Scott free. I don't understand you Gypsy... You talk about honor, yet you don't support your son?"

"Danus, sit down, I understand what has happened. The boy was adopted, even legally gypsy would not be responsible. He's not getting off Scott free, he doesn't get to see his son, because he no longer has a son. A trust fund is a good idea. If anything happens to you let Star Walker explain it to his sons, but split it equally. Good idea. I'll have it ready in a couple days... You're going to need as much identification to locate them as possible." Gypsy nodded and spouted off their lineage and location... "Wow, that's more than adequate, I would think. I'll let you know when you are going to have to talk to the judge. Did your grandmother leave you the house?"

"She was my mother and I got everything: house, car, bank account, personal effects. My siblings are all dead and my nephews wouldn't know what to do with any of it, so she left it all to me. When do you want to move in Dan? I'll help you get your stuff together."

"OK, sorry I blew, it's just..."

"I understand... Don't worry about it." After they left Dan's dad's study, Gypsy turned to Dan, "Are you sure you want to live with me Dan? I made love to Star Walker and I liked it. If given the opportunity I would do it again. Can you handle the heat when the guys at school find out? I'm not ashamed and I won't hide. I will take a lover, publicly."

"I can handle it. We're just sharing a house right?" He laughed, "let's go pack my stuff."

Gypsy's family didn't take his choice well at all, but Dan's dad had a great reputation and the judge granted his request without a hearing. "Let the boy stay in his own house." Was the order. The day before school started Petros showed up on the door.

"I am to keep and eye on you for the family. I ask you to allow me to stay, I can keep house for you and drive you if you want."

"I'd like that Petros, but you have to understand, you work for me, not the family. Can I trust you?"

"You can." He held out his hand to seal the bargain and Gypsy noticed the black tattoo... Just like Grandfather and scout.

"The universe has spoken. Welcome to my home."