Spirit and Space - 4. Innocence Lost

Kazander, age 11

Zander hated being so unsure, especially when he had fantasies about sex. Hormones hadn't quite started raging through his body changing it, but he got a hard on occasionally, and had wet dreams. It was especially bad on nights like this when Kray had friends over. Kray was 16 and had make out parties all the time. There was one guy, Tyler, who was one of Kray's best friends that Zander practically worshipped. Zander put on his swim suit, the one his mother didn't know he had, and went down to the pool. The suit was as close to being naked as he could manage without actually being naked. He spotted Tyler and stood next to him.

"Hey, Zan, whatchya doing wearing a suit like that?"

"I like the way it feels when I swim. The water is smooth as a lover's caress." He dove in the water then. The boy could move through the water, Tyler thought, but it made sense. He was the third son and competitive enough to want to out of his older brothers. Kray walked over to his friend.

"Ty-man! Glad you could make it. What's up bro?"

"Me man." Kray chanced a glance...

"Oh, who's got you worked up? I mean with your tastes... Well lets just say. Will it be reciprocated?"

"I don't know. Actually I'm more worried how you would react... It's your sibling who's doing it to me."

"Ty, we both know Ken is as straight as they come... I may lean your way, but not Ken, and Lette and Kae... Well I'm gonna call a doctor if they turned your head."

"Actually it was the one you didn't mention."

"Zan? He's only eleven. He's not interested in girls yet."

"Kray... Take a good look at your brother." Zander was lifting himself out of the pool and being very sensual about it. The water beaded off lightly bronzed skin and dripped from the short reddish blond hair. He hadn't started to fill out, but he was broad of shoulder and thin of hip already. When he did, he would be dangerous thought Kray. "If he wasn't related to you would you be interested?" Kray felt his body reacting and blushed.

"I see what you mean. Well, what do you want me to do? He's old enough to make up his own mind."

"You can tell him he needs to stop it unless he's trying to start something." Kray nodded. His parties always had a few people who preferred the same gender relationship, or at least leaned toward it so Zander knew what he was doing if he was trying to attract Ty's attention.

"Hey Zan, you gat a minute?" Zander nodded. "Uh, this is... Well mom or dad should be having this conversation, but I'm here and they're not, so... I don't know if you've discovered sex yet and I don't want to know, but Ty is being aroused by the way your acting and while he is capable of restraint, some of the others may not be, if you get their attention. Do you understand me?" He knew he had botched the entire conversation, but it was said. Zander blushed.

"I understand."

"Zan, if you're interested in someone here, just say so and well, a meeting can be made convenient."

"You don't think I'm too young?"

"Yes, I think eleven is too young. However, I know you to be a wise eleven, and if it's sex you want then you can handle it." He fished in his pocket and pulled out a condom. "Use protection Zan, I don't think you would be shooting live ammo, but it's better to be safe than sorry. Which older woman would you like to initiate you to manhood?"

"Tyler." Krayton looked at his brother.

"So that's how it is, huh? Are you sure?" Zander blushed.

"I don't know. I just think about him all the time and well...." He blushed again. Kray wanted to chuckle, but he had been there himself... Ty would be gentle if it was really what he wanted.

"You run up to your room, and I'll send him up." Zander was wide eyed... He hadn't expected that type of response. He did as directed, butterflies dancing in his stomach. Kray went back to Ty. "Well, it seems Zan is more like me than Ken. He's waiting for you in his room. Lock the door and be gentle. I don't think he's truly decided yet, so let him..."

"I know how to do this, Kray. I'll be gentle and discreet..." He picked up his towel and followed Zan upstairs.

Zander was sitting on his chair waiting. He didn't know what to expect, and was on pins and needles with his imagination running wild. Ty stopped in Kray's room to get some lotions and oils to make things more interesting. The door opening made Zander jump, but it was Ty. Kray wasn't picking on him, but then again, Kray rarely did, that was Ken's job.

"Kray told me you wanted to talk or something." Zander nodded. Ty had on a thong much like the one he wore. Ty sat down on the bed, and put the bottles on the nightstand. "So, what do you have in mind?" Kray told him more than he's letting on. Kray wouldn't embarrass him like this. Zander was telling himself, maybe the best way to do this was to just do it.

"I'm not sure how to begin, but I have these feelings..."

"Turn out the light. It will be easier with just a lamp on." Zander did as bid, then sat on the bed. "Now tell me about these feelings and we'll see what we can do about them."

"I have dreams, Ty, and you're in them. We... Well, it's all foggy and full of other stuff, but I always have soiled sheets after." Ty blushed, Zan was as direct as his brother.

"In the dream what do you do?" Zander blushed... "Okay, just show me." Zander looked at him and nodded, then put his hand on Ty's chest, near the nipple, then leaned down and kissed him. It was a little more than a peck, but there was passion there. He leaned forward to kiss him again and Ty kissed back, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arm around Zan to keep him there longer. After a few minutes, he asked, "Was it like that?" Zander nodded. "Show me the rest." Zander did, it wasn't much, but enough to get the point over to Ty what the boy wanted and that he was serious about it. "Zan do you trust me?" Ty's brown eyes locked on the liquid topaz pools that sheltered Kazander's soul. His won reflection stared back at him, teasing, accepting.

"Yes."

"I'm going to explain everything I do to you and with you here on out. If you feel like doing something to me, just do it. If I hurt you, tell me." Zander nodded. "I'm going to take off your suit now." Ty pulled the thin material off muscular hips and legs. "Now, I'm going to rub you all over with this lotion. It will help you relax and get you used to me touching you." He poured the liquid on his hands and rubbed them together to get it warmer then began rubbing Zander's back. "Does that feel good?"

"Yeah, it does. It's really warm."

"You like it?"

"Umm humm. Do you use this on Kray?"

"So you know about your brother and me. Does it bother you that he and I are lovers?"

"Not if it don't bother him that I'm in here with you now."

"No, it don't bother him or he wouldn't have sent me up here. We have an understanding." Ty's hands were on Zander's buttocks, massaging, running his fingers over Zan's puckered hole. Zan instinctively arched his back pressing closer to the fingers. Never had Ty had a more willing partner, his dick was raging hard just doing this as having Zan react. He reached over and grabbed a different tube. A large dollop went on the desired place and with one hand Ty began to massage Zan's legs while the other played with the hole Zan offered. Ty was surprised when his finger slipped inside and Zan didn't even flinch.

"Zan, I've got a finger inside you. I'm going to move it in and out now. Do you feel it?" Zan nodded. "Does it hurt?" A shake. Ty slipped in a second finger, moving them in a steady rhythm. "Zan, I want you to raise up on your knees a little, I want to touch your cock." Zander raised and Ty smiled.... One more finger and he would attempt his cock. Zander was hard and dripping jissom... It was turning him on all right... Kray was right about his brother's orientation. Ty stroked Zander gently, he didn't want him to cum yet. His own cock was dripping pre cum and twitching in anticipation... A little more jell and the third finger. Geez he was relaxed. With the fingers still in place Ty positioned himself for entry. "Okay, little one, I'm gonna pop your cherry now, last chance to back out."

"I want it, please Ty." Ty rubbed his cock near the hole. A little more jell and in it slid when the fingers came out.

"Oooohhhhhh....."

"Yeah, sweetling, it's in. Now I'm going to stroke it, just like before.... Only a little faster." He started slowly, holding on to Zan's hips but Zan was a natural. He arched his back so that his head was next to Ty's chest and his arms around Ty's head. Ty groaned in pleasure, and stroked Zan's ribs while not missing a stroke. They kissed and Ty reached down to Zan's cock and began stroking it. Only a few strokes though to keep him from cumming yet. Ty bit his shoulders and was close to cumming when he stroked Zan to cum then as Zan's ass tightened around his cock with the force of a first sexual climax, he came too. Ty eased himself out of Zan and turned to face him. Ty showered Zan with kisses and caresses... He would need it. "Are you okay Kazander?"

"Yeah, it was like my dream."

"Oh, it was real enough... You know that was only part of it."

"There's more?"

"Yes, but you don't have to learn it all tonight, we have plenty of time to explore." Ty wrapped his arms around Zander and they both drifted off to sleep.

Much later that night Ty slipped out of the room and found Kray's bed. He wasn't alone, but Mia knew all about Ty and didn't really mind. The three of them shared many a bed. "Hey Kray. Zander's nothing like Ken."

"Really? What happened?"

"Well, he's no longer a virgin. I ought to stay with him tonight, do you mind?"

"No, I have Mia to keep me company... Zander would do well to have you at his side in the morning. Did he take it well?"

"Like he was born to it. Took me whole the first time." Kray laughed. "See you tomorrow, love." They kissed and Ty went back to Zander and snuggled next to him. The next morning Zander woke up and Ty was still there. He smiled to himself and kissed Ty's chest, sucking a nipple, and running his fingers through his chest hair. His own body was smooth yet, but he knew in the next three years it would change. Ty woke up and responded to his little lover.

"Geez, Zan, what are you doing?" Zan froze.

"I'm doing it wrong? You don't like it?" He sounded nervous, scared.

"Oh, I like it all right, you just surprised me is all." Zander cuddled up next to him, but continued to let his hands play and roam.

"How?" Ty blushed at the simplicity of the question.

"For starters, you like guys. That in itself is quite a bit. Then there's the fact we went all the way. I hadn't planned on it. Just help you figure out if you were sure about he guys issue, then point you out to a couple guys your own age. Another thing is you picked me. I figured it out last night. You've been trying to get my attention for weeks now, is this what you wanted?"

"I've known for a long time guys turned me on, Ty and yes, I deliberately set out to have you be my first. I don't think I should let many people know about this, especially now. I don't know how to explain this, but sometimes I see things about people. I can tell which people are going to try and hurt me and other people too on occasion. I knew you would not hurt me, and you didn't." Ty nodded.... That explained why he was so relaxed, explicit trust. "And you won't betray me. I would like this to be between us, but it you and me to hang out with you and Kray more... Then well..."

"Yeah, I think you might want to become Kray's shadow. I would like your company. There are some people who know about my life choice and you might get teased. Can you handle that?"

"Can you handle me denying us? If so, it'll be OK." Ty looked at Zan. It was hard to remember the boy was only eleven. They spent the early part of the morning as lovers should.

Kray woke up slowly, arms wrapped around Mia. "Morning Love. Sleep well?"

"Ahhummmm. Where'd Ty run off to last night? He always sleeps in here... Unless... Did Ty find a bed and a partner of his own last night?" Kray laughed and nodded. Mia would be shocked when she found out who.

"Do you know who?" Again a nod.

"Are you going to tell me?" Kray laughed.

"Guess."

"Kray, I don't even know who here last night was his type, much less who he would let in on his secret." Kray made a face at her. "The tall blond, Steffon." A shake of his head was her answer. "The new guy, Petros?" Another shake. "Harlen? They've been making eyes at each other for months, and he has a reputation to protect as well."

"I don't think you will ever guess because it took me by surprise and I know his partner well. Probably better than anyone."

"Kray, I don't have a clue. I know I saw him come in the house alone, but no one followed and I didn't see anyone missing. So who could it be?"

"Ty slept with Zander last night."

"Zander! Oh, Krayton, he's just a little boy. How could he?" Kray laughed.

"How could he not when Zander practically led him to bed by the balls. I don't mind sharing my lover with my brother, I just hope he has the sense to be discrete."

"If he's thought about it enough to know he wants Ty then he's thought about it enough to understand the consequences of people finding out. We know Ty wants his choice to be limited to a few select people. Just think how the general public would react if they found out the only son of a world renowned, homophobic preacher was gay. I swear his father preaches at least once a month about the sins of the homosexual, and there's Tyler, on the front pew, acting like he believes every word his papa says."

"I know, don't you just love the way we have been sick every time his papa schedules a march or protest?" Kray chuckles at their cleverness, because not only have they managed to miss everyone, but have managed to detain Ty's father as well, and with out their leader, the protesters seemed more disorganized and much less effective.

"Have you thought about when you're going to tell your family, or better yet what?" Kray shook his head.

"Geez, Mia. You know my folks. Mom would send me to one of her head shrink coworkers and I'd come back so terrified of sex I wouldn't ever be able to get it up again. And Dad, he would find some way to hold someone liable for my sexual orientation, shoot, he's probably blame it on you for not being able to hold my interest." They both laughed. "I think in a year or so we should just move away from here with Ty and live together."

"When do you expect your folks back?"

"Some time next week. Kae will be back from camp the day after." He chuckled. "I'm still trying to figure out how Zan talked the folks out of sending him to camp this year."

"So there's no chance of Zander and Ty getting caught?"

"Not with Ken practically living at Annabel's. I swear he ain't been home in days, besides, he never comes out here unless he's mad at mom or dad." When the Boones purchased the land there was already a farmhouse on the property. They decided to make into a livable guesthouse for long-term visitors. When Kray turned fourteen he talked his parents into allowing him to live out there, he stated he needed his space and a chance to grow on his own, with minimal parental supervision. His parents agreed and he moved out there. Kengan then had the entire third floor for his privacy. Kollete and Kaeli shared the second floor with Zander, who had been begging to be allowed to move out with Krayton, who agreed his little brother should be allowed to live with him. There's no reason a boy budding into manhood should be subjected to sharing a bathroom with girls, he stated, besides it would teach him some responsibility. They had been living practically on their own since they moved out there. The folks had an intercom to call them to the main house if they were needed, but none of the servants came out, except on request.

They did their own cooking and house keeping. They had complete access to the little pool (there were three on the property) which was huge, and their own driveway so there was no way anyone could know who came and went unless they were spying on them. The ultimate freedom. His folks allowed Kazander to live out with Krayton, not for the reasons they gave, but to hopefully curtail Krayton's activities. They knew he had all kinds of parties out there, but no one ever got hurt and there was no evidence of drugs being used. Alcohol was purchased on occasion, but then everyone stayed the night. They kept tabs on what they ate through the credit receipts. There was a satellite dish, so there was no telling what they were watching, but they had to trust them somewhat. In two years when Krayton went to college he would be better prepared than most boys his age and background, and Kazander, he would be ready, too, when his turn came. What they didn't know was there had been extra phone lines run and Kazander was spending all his spending money on computer equipment. As it stood he never had to leave the house if he didn't want to.

In two months Kazander would turn 12 and start 6th grade, middle school. Until then he was free to do as he liked. His folks had wanted to send him to camp, but he refused to go. No temper, like Kae, who didn't want to of either, no screaming, no yelling. Just a simple, "I won't stay there, so it's probably better not to send me." And he walked out. A week later Kae was packed and Kazander was given a stern lecture on his expected behavior while Drs. Boone were on vacation.

"Ty, what do you do for fun, other than party with my brother?" Zander asked as he relaxed after a second round of lovemaking.

"Well, my folk don't like me to do too many things. Kray and I go out with our friends, but dad has eyes all over town, so we drive to the city. I can go bowling, roller and ice-skating, and all church activities, of course, and hang out at the mall. Have you ever roller skated Zander?"

"No, my time has been so tied up in swim team and martial arts." He looked at the clock by the bed... "Oh no! I've got practice!"

"Practice?"

"Swim team. I was supposed to have a five-mile run by now. How could I forget? I've been doing it most of my life." As he talked he pulled out his speedos, running shorts, a T-shirt, and running shoes, pulling each item on. Ty found a towel and followed Kazander out the door and down the hall. "Kray..." He pushed the door open to find his brother on top of Mia. "I got swim practice, you need to take me, but I got to do my run. Pick me up on the way... And hurry."

"Oh shit... How could we forget the never-ending swim team practice? That boy better make the Olympic team for all he practices." Kray disengaged and joined Ty in the shower. In three minutes he and Ty were getting dressed, and Mia was asleep in bed.

"How do you know where to pick him up?" Ty hadn't ever tagged along on a swim practice run before... Kray looked at his friend.

"Zan runs a mile in less than three minutes, he has a five mile run and a five minute head start. Right now he should be two going on three miles from here. We'll catch up to him when he's finishing his fourth mile and slow down enough for him to jump in just before we cross the tracks, which are 5.5 miles from here. He'll make it to the pool with just enough time to pull off his shoes before diving in to swim 15 km. Then practice begins. An hour later he'll go to the weight room and work out with his teammates and the trainers, that takes about 45 minutes, the he goes back to the pool for laps again, another 15 km. Then he's free to go. In all it lasts about three hours every morning, 7 to 10 a.m., today he's free to go after practice. Three days a week he had tykwando practice from 10:30 to 12 noon. Most of the time he gets up early enough to run all the way to the pool, then jogs across town to the gym and runs home, he gets there about quarter to one and then we do the things we have to do. There he is."

"He does this every day?"

"Everyday except Sunday, then he swims laps at home." A few minutes later Zander was jumping in the convertible. Kray pulled out a water bottle and tossed it back to him. Zander drank some and poured some over his head.

"Hey... Ty, I've never skated before in my life. When do you want to show me how?"

"What are you guys doing later? Kray?"

"Mia and I would love to go skating today. If Zander wants to tagalong he's welcome to it."

"Are you going to pick me up, or do you want me to find my own way?"

"I can pick you up, if you want." They had arrived.

"Okay, see you in a bit." His shirt was already off and the shoes were next. The coach was by the pool shouting at him.

"Kazander, you're late! Extra laps." Zander dove in the pool with his four-team mates and began swimming. He was the youngest on the team and while not the best, he was not the worst. The team was called Neptune's Spawn and they were the best. There were no open tryouts for this team, you had to be invited, and at 11 years old Kazander was the youngest to ever be afforded that offer. Dalton had joined the team the same time Zander did, but he was fifteen and jealous that Zander made it too. The other three: Petros, Wilhiem and Steffon, ranged in age from fifteen to seventeen and had been on the team from one to three years, and were glad to have Kazander mainly because the competition underestimated him, besides, the pool had five lanes and that meant five members, no more, no less.

Practice went well and Kray remembered to pick him up. Mia and Tyler were with him and they brought his clothes.

"I'm hungry, what's for breakfast?"

"Pizza's for lunch... All you can eat."

"Lead on. I'm starving." Mia giggled and everyone else laughed at the huge stomach growl that came from Zander. They ate and went to the skating rink. There was a nice rink locally, but Kray drove to the city where Ty's father had the least influence. This particular rink was run by a gay couple who knew Tyler, Mia, and Krayton. It was impenetrable by anyone homophobic because to get in you had to sleep with someone who was already allowed admittance, and that meant they had slept with Mark or Tom. Mark was on the door when they arrived. Tyler was doing something in the car and was late getting in the door.

"Mia, Kray, welcome. Who's the kid?"

"My name is Kazander. I'm Kray's brother."

"Kazander huh?" Did your bother explain to you the rules to get in here?"

"No." Kray shrugged and motioned to the door. Mark grinned and buzzed the couple through, but kept Zander with him.

"Before I can let you through here you have to meet the qualifications." Zander looked confused, then the door opened and Tyler walked in.

"Picking on the tagalong I see."

"Welcome Ty. Your partners are already inside, if you'll step around this guy, then I'll buzz you through."

"Actually, I was planning on taking this one in with me." Ty put his arm around Zander and grinned. Mark's eyes got wide.

"You mean..." Ty nodded and kissed Zander, who responded full of passion. "Well, yes, I see. Kazander Boone, you are invited inside, now and always." Mark blushed, the boy was young, but Ty wouldn't lie. They went inside.

"Kazander, I'm going to explain the rules to you. Everyone who comes here has reasons for wanting their identity kept quiet. In here, no matter what happens, your reputation is safe, no one rats on anyone for any reason. Can you understand the importance of that?" Zander nodded. "Good, now let's skate. I brought you this to wear." Ty handed him a bag. "Kray out grew it, but I think it will fit you." It was a suit made out of spandex in black with neon racing stripes in strategic places. It was a little loose, but fit fine. He was surprised to find it had padding in places, a sports cup, built in kneepads, wrist guards, and a mask that covered half his face. Ty, Kray, and Mia had on similar outfits, as did everyone else.

"No wonder my identity is safe in here... No one can recognize me." The others nodded grinning.

"Exactly right, little brother. Come Mia, lets skate." They took off and Ty took Zander over to Tom for skates. Soon enough he was on wheels and laughing himself silly because he had a hard time standing up.

"Look, it's all balance, find your center and balance and you'll be fine. Then find the rhythm of the music and off you go." Zan closed his eyes and focused on center and balance... It was a trick he used in tykwondo, when he opened his eyes he was balanced. The music moved over him and off he went. Slowly at first, then faster, keeping pace with Ty. Some of the skaters were going backwards, Zan tried it at Ty's encouragement. He was quite the natural.

"Are you sure you've never been on skates before?"
"No, never." The rest of the afternoon was spent in relative obscurity while Zander enjoyed sexual banter with Ty and a few other of the guys who came and went. Ty and Kray were protective of him as much as he would allow, but his life definitely just became more interesting.