Otherworld: Station One. - 12. WInter 12

It was brief and clumsy, and awkward, and shaky. But I loved it. In what seemed like a few seconds Alex pushed me back gently his eyes wide and his hair sticking up in strange angles.

‘How’d your hair get like that?’ I asked, vaguely interested in the answer.

‘Uh, from you.’ He replied. I frowned and he pointed at my hands. I looked down at them but didn’t see anything. ‘They were… up there.’ He muttered shyly.

‘Oh...’ Then there was silence, tense uncompromising silence that made me want to bounce around on my heels irritating everyone I could. Or was that the sudden exuberance I was floundering in?

If so then I was quite happy to stay there. Alex however was biting his lip, like he was regretting what we had done, and that made me plummet quicker than a seagull diving for fish.

‘Are you ok?’ I asked. I sort of wished I hadn’t even bothered. I mean now he had the chance to affirm my worries, and there is no way that I wanted to be a regret, not on anyone’s list.

‘I’m…not sure.’

‘It was that bad?’ I joked, trying to protect my feelings. ‘C’mon, I mean it’s not like you didn’t want it.’

‘Yeah I know, but I just don’t know how I feel about it.’

‘Well that makes me feel stupid then doesn’t it?’ I said simply. I wanted to turn away and leave but I thought better. It was time someone actually stood their ground.

‘No, that’s not what I meant, it wasn’t your fault.’

‘I kissed back didn’t I?’

Alex sighed and ran a hand through his hair. ‘You didn’t initiate it Eli!’ he exclaimed.

‘I might as well have. It was a matter of time.’ I shot back.

‘Look, I just need time, it’s not like I’ve adjusted to this like you have.’

I sighed, how many times did I have to remind him of those words he told me? We didn’t have time! ‘Alex what’s the problem, I mean what did you expect was going to happen?’

‘This is a big deal Eli.’ He said.

‘No, it really isn’t. Maybe once upon a time it was but not anymore. Things aren’t going to stay the same. It’s not going to matter who you screw at night anymore because there might not be anyone to judge you for it!’ He stared at me like I’d punched him the gut.

‘I keep thinking, ‘You know what, he has a point. This is a bit much.’.’ I started pacing because I didn’t know what else to do while I was talking.

‘You know what? You actually don’t. How hard is to say, ‘YES, I’ll TRY, I WANT TO DO THIS!’ because that’s what I want. I mean, how often do life-changing things happen to people? I need some kind of comfort, or some stability. I need…I need…’

I stopped, my chest heaving. I knew exactly what I was going to say but I didn’t say it. I didn’t see the point. It would just freak him out. Besides, I think he may have gotten the gist.

‘Me?’ He looked completely and utterly dumbfounded, like the thought of someone even possibly needing him was so out of this world that he had never contemplated it at all. ‘You need me?’

‘I didn’t say that.’ I said, my face completely red now. I wanted to pull an ‘ostrich’ and just bury myself in the sand.

‘You sort of implied it.’ He said, but for some reason he looked just as embarrassed having called me out on it. ‘I, I don’t have…I don’t know…’

‘What Alex? What don’t you know?’

‘I don’t want to let people down. I’ve always let them down and I don’t want that pressure again!’ He shouted. I stepped back as he crumpled to the ground. I wanted to reach out and comfort him but something told me not to.

‘You know, my dad used to tell me I’d be a great boxer one day. And Mum, she said the same thing. After she died,’ I felt my eyes widen. His mum died? I felt like I could relate but losing a sister, compared to a mother are two completely different things despite what some people might say, ‘he became a bit of an asshole. He told me I let him down, and Mum too. After a few years it gets to a person.’

He glanced up at me. ‘I don’t want to let anyone else down.’

‘You’re not going to.’ I started, but he held up a hand to silence me.

‘You don’t know that.’

‘Yes I do. I can see the future.’ I bluffed. So far I hadn’t gotten any kind of psychic powers that I was aware of and Alex didn’t really buy that excuse.

‘Thanks Eli but lies don’t really sit high up on my respect-o-meter.’ He teased. Hey, at least he was smiling now. And I liked that on him much better.

‘Alex, are you afraid of other people knowing about this?’ I said, pointing from him to myself. He shrugged.

‘Sort of. I mean it doesn’t seem like such a big deal after you put it so well, but it’s sort of incredibly hard to repress let alone reverse eighteen years of hetero-machismo and fake homophobic attitude.’

I smiled weakly. ‘Then what is it?’

‘Like I said, I’m…scared.’ He looked downright apologetic and I wanted to hug him. Fuck, why couldn’t I hug him? I sat down and shifted myself so that I was sitting next to him. He watched me and as I leant into him he awkwardly lifted an arm and I placed it around me.

‘Thanks.’ He said. ‘Look, this doesn’t mean we’re dating.’ He said. I didn’t know if he was joking or not.

‘Um, sure.’ I replied. ‘Then what does it mean?’

‘We’ll just, see how it goes.’ He offered. I glared at him with what I hoped was a steely resolve, not that I knew how to do it. ‘I don’t mean not be like this-’ He said motioning to us with a hand. ‘I mean, around the others.’ I sighed.

Going backwards into the closet wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but for Alex I was willing to. I nodded and made to stand up.

‘Hold on.’ He said. I glanced at him and he squinted for a moment, doing some sort of toss up in his mind. He must have come to a decision because he leant in and kissed me. This time I was blank enough to enjoy it.

He was soft which contrasted with his coarse hands and he was less aggressive than the first two times. Again, it was brief but that single moment made me feel lighter than air and it was worth all the brevity in the world.

‘What should we do now?’ he asked resting his forehead against my shoulder.

‘I dunno. I sort of want to stay here.’ I said; really smiling for a real reason, something that hadn’t really happened for a long time.

‘Well we could do that if you wanted to?’ Alex suggested. I grinned and stood up, pulling Alex up with me, his hand in mine; seemingly completely comfortable, at least for now. I didn’t know how long that was going to last, especially with his mood swings.

‘No one’s at home?’ I said, in what I hoped was an alluring tone. He just snickered and punched me playfully on the arm which, mind you was an incredibly painful experience. He really was a good boxer.

He led us along the fields to the back of my house and jumped over the fence with me close behind. I don’t think I’d really let myself appreciate Alex and everything he was. He was strong, and helpful, and well, he was good looking.

We walked inside and I playfully pushed Alex as he stopped in the laundry room just inside the back door. I was about to ask him why, when he held up a hand.

‘Do you hear that?’ He whispered. I strained my ears, past the incessant buzzing and could hear nothing. I shook my head but it didn’t allay his paranoia. ‘Go to the kitchen.’ He said. I nodded, automatically trusting him. for many reasons to be honest. He had been there for everything over the last few days, not to mention the little…’moment’ we just had.

As we entered the kitchen Alex snatched one of our larger knives from the sink and brandished it in one hand while making a fist with the other and he stepped in front of me. We slunk from room to room until we reached Jacqueline’s room.

Alex made a quiet motion with his finger and stood in front of the door. He leant back and blasted it open with a kick. A shock of fire red hair jumped along with its owner and Michael looked half terrified and half pissed.

‘What was that for!’ He shouted. For an Angel, he was surprisingly miss matching with his clothes. I mean, a grey sweater and Hawaiian print shorts? I almost missed Hamon’s classy style.

‘Um,’ I started, stepping in front of the incredibly intimidating figure of Alex with his knife, and shrugged with a grin. ‘Well you are breaking and entering.’

Michael sighed and snapped a book shut. ‘Humans…’ he muttered sourly with a small smile and pushed past us into the lounge room. We followed him and found him slouched on one of the armchairs. ‘Nice paint job…’ He muttered gazing at the walls.

‘Yeah it’s real nice, now what are you doing here?’ I said brushing aside his comments.

‘I came to tell you that I could only give you until midnight tonight for free time.’ He reached up and pushed a curl out of his face. ‘Sorry.’

‘Why only midnight?’ Alex asked.

‘Because, apparently something’s happening. Phoebe wouldn’t tell me.’

‘What is she a spy or something?’ I asked, throwing my hands in the air. Michael stared at me like I was speaking some foreign language.

‘Huh?’

‘Phoebe.’ I said. I didn’t really know why he was having so much trouble trying to understand what I was saying. ‘She told us where to find you, she didn’t mention that?’ I said, glancing at Alex who nodded.

Michael frowned. ‘I didn’t know you had met her.’

‘Well, it was Hamon who brought her, I mean Gabriel.’ I said, correcting myself under Michael’s glare.

‘She mustn’t have known.’ He murmured.

‘So, is he…evil?’ I asked. I hadn’t really let myself think about him. I was afraid I’d want to break something, like his neck. Michael studied me for a moment.

‘He’s…not evil. He has always been a bit of a dictator, that’s why he wants to take over the new world. In fact, to be honest I’m not so sure he’d be a bad leader. He’s just going about it the wrong way.’ Michael mused.

‘You mean by killing me?’ Alex scoffed. He sat down on the armchair opposite Michael so I was left standing. Then he patted the arm of the chair and motioned for me to sit down, so I did.

‘Yes, and other things.’ Michael nodded. ‘Tell me. What did he say to get you to help him?’

I placed a finger to my chin. ‘He said that he was going to stop this world from ending…was he lying, can that be done?’ I asked hopefully. Michael smiled grimly.

‘In theory, yes. But someone would either have to convince Satan and the Lord to back off, and that’s a virtual impossibility, or they would have to kill them.’ My eyes lit up. Kill God and Satan: that’s what Hamon wanted to do. Is it possible? Truly possible?

‘What’s that expression for?’ Michael asked cautiously.

‘Could we do that?’ I asked. ‘Kill them I mean?’

There was a long and awkward pause before he answered ‘Well… I don’t see how you would go about killing them; they are after all not present on Earth.’ Michael said jokingly, I don’t think he could tell how serious I was.

‘But there must be gateways. Isn’t that how we found you?’ Michael shook his head the smile on his face fading as it dawned on him that if there was a way, I was taking it.

‘For Hell, there is always a way in. But I have never heard of a way to enter Heaven. I’m sorry.’ And he seemed genuinely apologetic.

‘There’s got to be some way to save us.’ Alex mumbled.

‘As I said; you’d have to convince them otherwise, or kill them, which, mind you would be something that I simply cannot allow.’ He said easily. Though the threat was there, laced in subtle tones under his words. ‘Not only that but who are you going to get to replace God and Satan?’ He pointed out. ‘You can’t have a world without someone to keep both sides in check.’

‘What about you?’ I said.

‘Me?’ He seemed dumbfounded and then instantly furious. ‘Don’t be stupid Eli, this is madness! There is nothing you can do, and I suggest you start thinking seriously about what kind of world you shall create, because you haven’t got a lot of time.’

I felt like I had been slapped in the face and for a brief moment I didn’t want Michael around anymore. ‘Fine.’ I huffed, turning around and walking to the kitchen. I wrenched the fridge open. Sometimes it got stuck pretty badly.

Once, I was so angry that I grabbed the handle and pulled it with all my muscle and it flung open slamming into Jacqueline and knocked her out for several hours. Admittedly it was funny for a brief moment until she wouldn’t wake up.

I grabbed one of Mum’s rum cans and stood in the doorway drinking it pensively while watching Alex and Michael talk about something.

I didn’t want to do this anymore. It was better when I didn’t believe in God and Satan. I mean, my entire belief system was based on not believing and now what? I was supposed to automatically worship some faceless man? That’s not what I wanted.

Maybe Hamon was right, because right now, I wanted to fight. I wanted to win. I didn’t care about what Michael thought, not really. Screw making a new world, what was wrong with wanting to protect the one I had?

Did he really understand that? That attachment to where I grew up, the people I knew and loved? It couldn’t be re-made just like that. He hadn’t even told me what happens to everyone else aside from Mel, Alex and I. Did they get transferred? Or did they just…die.

I clenched my fists so tightly that my fingernails cut into my skin, and as I opened them I saw little pink crescent shapes. And let me tell you, my nails aren’t even sharp or long.

I saw Michael stand and come over to me. ‘Sorry. It’s just I’d rather not see the people here suffer because you aren’t ready.’

‘Well, I’m not ready. You can’t force me to grow up and ‘be a man’ just like that. I can’t accept it Michael. I think…I think Hamon was right.’

Michael growled and something about him made me step backwards. His voice was almost animalistic. ‘He is not right. You cannot defeat someone like God, or Satan. Give up.’

‘No.’ I murmured. ‘I’m not going to give up, not while there’s even the smallest chance that I, no we, can do something about it. C’mon Michael, you’ve helped us this far, please.’ Michael turned. I think it was so he wouldn’t hurt me because I was pissing him off.

‘Alex, talk sense to him please.’ I looked over his shoulder to see Alex flushed and looking from Michael to me nervously.

‘I don’t know…I-I-I think…’

‘Don’t bring him into this Michael. You can’t create the new world without me, and you can’t place your God at the top of the hierarchy in the new world without me either.’ I said holding back a smile.

‘You are making a mistake.’

‘I’m not saying I won’t create the new world. But I want a chance to stop this from happening altogether.’ I said. ‘And I need your help to do that.’

‘Well you won’t get it.’ He said. I was surprised at that. I thought maybe if I showed him some form of logical argument that he would understand; apparently not. ‘I can’t sit back and allow you to go about killing the Lord. It is treason in its very essence. He created me Eli! How is this so hard for you to understand?’

‘Well then, why are you still here?’ I replied. He stared at me for a moment, and Alex didn’t seem to be breathing either as he watched us.

‘Good luck.’ Michael said. He turned and left, slamming the front door on his way out. Alex looked at me, and rolled his eyes.

‘What?’

‘He’s like the only person that was going to help us.’ He explained.

‘Not the only one.’ Alex cocked his head. ‘Hamon?’ I suggested, the effect was instantaneous, his eyes burned and he growled.

‘Absolutely not.’

‘Look, I know you guys don’t trust him, but he’s trying to accomplish the same things as we are.’

‘Eli!’ Alex barked. ‘He wants to use your ability to make him a new world. Somehow, I don’t think he cares either way if this one survives. We both know that he just wants the competition for the ruler of the new world out of the way.’

‘But that’s sort of what we want.’ I replied. He made to argue but I stopped him with a raised hand. ‘Look. We can trick him can’t we? He doesn’t have to rule a particularly nice planet.’ I think I scared him a little bit with the smile I could feel creeping its way onto my face.

‘Explain.’

‘Why don’t we tell him that we’ll help him become the ruler, if he helps us to keep this world? I’ll make a new world for him but I won’t do anything but create the world. He can have a wasteland for all I care.’

‘You want to trick an Angel?’ Alex muttered, more so to himself.

‘A Fallen Angel dear.’ I corrected. The word ‘dear’ just slipped in by accident but he didn’t seem to notice so I pretended I hadn’t said it.

‘Hmm…’ He placed a hand to his chin, sort of classic ‘the thinker’ pose. ‘This is pretty risky.’ He murmured.

‘I know, and I think we should talk to Mel, see what she thinks.’ I said. I hadn’t really thought about her at all that day and immediately felt guilty for that.

‘Well, I’ll help you any way I can.’

‘Thanks. But…what do you think Michael will do now?’ I said.

‘What do you mean, ‘what will he do now’?’ asked a voice behind me. I turned and saw Mel. Her boots were scuffed in grass stains and her legs were covered by black tights that eventually disappeared beneath a soft white dress with some smaller stitched flowers and swirls along the bottom.

‘You look nice.’ I murmured. And she did, really nice. Like…hot nice. Slipped over her arm was an acid-wash denim vest. She flushed.

‘Don’t avoid the question. What’s happened?’ I glanced at Alex who shrugged.

‘You are never any help.’ I groaned. I turned to Mel. ‘Where’d you come from.’

‘I went to the river to see if you were there. Then I came here. Now will someone please tell me what’s going on?’ She finished.

‘Okay.’ I sighed, ‘But you should sit down.’ I warned. She raised a brow but sat at the dining table and listened as we explained what was going on. She pulled all the right expressions but when we told her the final plan she seemed conflicted.

‘I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for saving this world. But trusting Hamon again…’ I smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder.

‘We don’t have to trust him: he just has to trust us.’ I explained. She still looked uneasy.

‘What about Michael, I doubt he’s going to just let us do this?’ She muttered. ‘And I like Michael, I trust him. Maybe he’s right. I mean we can make a new world and such; we can shape it however we want to.’

‘That’s not the point Mel. If you want to join him you can do so. But don’t forget, he hasn’t guaranteed the survival of anyone on the globe. Can you?’ She bit at her nails, a habit she had never really gotten into before. ‘I just want a chance to stop this. I have to try, and I want you and Alex to help me.’

Mel sighed. ‘I guess so,’ I didn’t really understand her reluctance. This was going to be tough, I knew that, but what was the alternative?

Alex grinned. ‘Already on your side.’

‘Good, now, how do we find Hamon?’ I wondered. He had the only weapons I knew of, the feathers…MY feathers. I still had the knife he gave me, but as far as I knew, it didn’t really have powers aside from ‘mad slicing skillz.’ Ah, I could be a funny guy sometimes.

‘Just by sayin’ my name kid.’ came a rumble from behind me. I spun around, stumbling backwards, into Alex who held me steady, and gasped. Alex instinctively growled and Mel shrank away.

With his back to the sink, facing us across the linoleum was a new, and what I assumed was intended to be improved, Hamon. He didn’t even look the same. In a new body he held two items in his hands, a book in one, and a key in the other.

His body was clothed from head to toe in black. His shirt was torn to be sleeveless, around his neck were several thick chains and his jeans were darkened, finished off with heavy steel-toed boots. His hair was wavy, dark and slicked back haphazardly.

He grinned and I noticed his pearl white teeth gleaming with a feral sense. ‘So…What can I do for you?’

‘Hamon?’ I asked. I couldn’t really believe it.

‘In the flesh, or stolen meat pod. Whichever you prefer really.’ He smirked flashing us those feral teeth. ‘How’s that little wound?’ he asked Alex whose hand touched it softly.

‘Healing just fine thanks.’ He replied through gritted teeth. I realized I was the only one who seemed collected enough to talk to him.

‘So, you called?’ he asked turning to me. I nodded but didn’t say anything. ‘Well?’ There was still silence until I mustered up the confidence to talk. It was strange, I had originally felt great disgust and hatred towards him but in the face of this…this mission. I had easily pushed it all aside.

I gathered whatever strength I had and straightened my back. ‘I talk, you listen. Got it?’ I ordered. He smirked but dipped his head in the affirmative.

‘I have a few questions.’ Again he nodded. ‘Do you really want to kill Satan and God?’ I asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Next, can it be done?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay.’ I nodded. ‘Why?’

His lips twitched as he considered the question. ‘Truth?’

‘It would be helpful.’ Alex muttered.

‘Look, I don’t really think it’s a big deal. We all know you’re supposed to make the new world right?’ he continued without stopping. ‘Well I want to be the God of that world,’ He turned to Alex.

‘I’m sorry for what I did, but I had to.’

‘What reason could you possibly have for stabbing me in the chest!’ Alex spat. Hamon’s face softened a little bit.

‘Because, you had to be awakened.’ Alex frowned.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked.

‘I’ve lied from the start o.k. I mean, I knew you two, were part of The Four, Alex was just a surprise and I think ultimately it was because you, Eli knew on some level that he was connected to you.’

‘The other angels didn’t really tell me much.’ Hamon started, pulling his eyes away from Mel. ‘Apparently I wasn’t trustworthy.’ He added bitterly. ‘From what I found out each of The Four had to be awakened and each one had different requirements.’

He turned to Mel and she stepped backwards. ‘The Soother had to share blood with an Angel.’ He turned to Alex, ‘The Aggressor had to be killed by one.’

‘What about me?’ I asked desperately. Was it possible that I hadn’t been awakened and therefore not have the ability to fight this?

‘Uh, you don’t want me to say it…not here.’ He said. He blushed a little and turned away from me. ‘I couldn’t tell you this because I needed to stay on the down low. Besides, would you have trusted me if I told you I wanted to rule the world?’

I silently agreed with him. ‘Now my turn. What do you want?’

‘We-’ I started but Mel cleared her throat. ‘Fine, I want to make a deal.’ Hamon raised a dark eyebrow. ‘I’ll make you, the ‘God’ or whatever, if you help us save this world, you can keep the new one. We don’t want it.’

Hamon grinned. ‘That’s a pretty big deal you know, are you sure you don’t want anything else, you know a cherry on top perhaps?’

‘No, just help us save this one, and the people on it. And I’ll help create you, your world.’ I explained. I was set on this deal and if he didn’t take it, there was literally nothing I could do.

‘Hm, fine. There’s a fair amount of work that we need to go through to get you guys ready.’

Alex’s face lit up in a moment of inspiration. I could almost see the light bulb above his head. ‘Training montage?’ He asked hopefully. Hamon’s dark eye’s narrowed.

‘That is the dumbest thing I think I’ve ever heard.’

‘He does raise a point though.’ Mel interjected. We turned to her and she pursed her lips. ‘How exactly are we, meaning us human’s, meant to kill anything without knowing how?’

‘Crash course training’ Hamon said grinning.