The Boy Who Cried Sorry - 1. Story

The Boy Who Cried Sorry

By Meeko

Once upon a time, in a little town on an island in the middle of nowhere, lived a beautiful young boy. He looked to be no older then seventeen. He was tall but far too thin for his age. He had naturally blond hair, shimmering blue eyes, and a slight dusting of freckles over his cheeks right around his dimples. His beauty was hard to see and often overlooked by those who lived on the island. But it was there, behind all the marks and bruises, the scars, the oversized clothes, the shaggy shoulder-length hair—that was way too overgrown—but, most of all, his beauty was hidden by the shame that forever burdened him.

With the right haircut, the right clothes, he could easily have been the best looking young man in his village, but even with those things, he still would not have smiled. For his smile was where his true beauty lay.

The rumors were said to be that when he was an infant, there was always a smile plastered across his tiny face; that no matter what he was doing, or where he was, he was smiling. Even while he slept, a smile was spread across his face. Therefore, he was given the nickname “Sir Smiles a lot.” Or just Smiles, for short.

But that was many years ago, before his mother had left him and his father for reasons unknown to him. Long before the beatings began, before his family was torn apart. Before, when he knew what it felt like to be loved, to be held. That’s all he ever wanted: to be loved again.

Smiles was outside watering the yard when his father suddenly appeared at the front door.

“You little shit, what do you think you’re doing?” his father said. “Do you think my breakfast will make itself?” he spat out angrily.

“Sorry Father, I lost track of time,” Smiles replied quietly.

Smiles’ father’s face grew angry at the boy’s response. He grabbed Smiles and smacked him hard across the face. The force of the blow tossed Smiles backwards and into the garden, smashing some of his plants in the process.

“Don’t you ever call me that again; I’m not your father, you faggot!” Smiles’ father yelled, before walking back into the house.

Unaware to both of them was the set of hazel eyes that witnessed the abuse and mistreatment from a distance and was now concealed by some bushes nearby.

“Yes sir, sorry sir,” Smiles mumbled to himself.

Smiles pushed himself upright and off the now ruined plants he had worked so hard to grow; he had saved every cent, every dollar that the neighbors would give him on occasion in exchange for some type of housework. He wiped the dirt from his hands and face and headed inside the house, without a tear in his eye. He had learned a long time ago that crying would do him no good, and after a while, he didn't even feel the need to cry any more, it was no longer a part of him.

The boy with the hazel eyes shook his head in disgust, he couldn’t imagine why the boy didn’t fight back, or at least show some kind of emotion, pain, anger, sadness, something. It was odd to him.

Smiles made his way into the house quickly, knowing full well what would happen if he didn’t make his father’s breakfast. No matter how many times his father hit him, he could never get use to the pain. Sure, he didn’t wince or cry out in agony, or scream, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. To him, being beaten was less painful then what his mother had done; at least his father had stuck around.

“You call this crap food?” His father’s shout was followed by the unmistakable sound of glass shattering from the kitchen. Smiles made it back into the kitchen in time to see his father grabbing a bottle of vodka and heading to his room.

“Sorry sir, that’s all there… was left to make.”

“Yeah well maybe if you got a job, or hadn’t driven your mother off we’d have more to eat; it’s your entire damn fault,” his father snapped.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you even think of going to school until you clean up that mess you made in the kitchen, you little shit!” His father yelled from his room before he slammed shut the door.

Sighing deeply, Smiles placed his raggedy old backpack near the door on the worn wooden floor. He picked up the bigger pieces of the glass with his bare hands, and used the broom to gather the rest. A few minor cuts later, once he was positive he had gotten all of the broken glass; he quickly mopped the floor, and in a flash was out the door.

The village was large, and Smiles had to travel miles each day to reach the school. It was the only school on the island, and Smiles faced many difficulties getting to it, but in the end it was worth it. As he walked to school, Smiles remembered when he was much younger, how his mother would read to him bedtime stories, most of which he had memorized and could repeat by heart.

Smiles craved knowledge; he was always asking questions, wanting to know how everything worked, what everything meant, and things most kids could care less about.

Most of all was his fascination with novels. He never could afford to buy any for himself, nor did his father allow him to read at home. But he couldn’t help himself; it was something he had loved as a child. It was the only thing he had ever done that was against his father’s wishes; he was always careful not to bring books home, or to read anything when his father was around.

When he first stepped foot into the school’s library he was a bit taken back by the massive selection of books it held. It was his goal to read each and every single one of those books by the time he was finished with his education.

Knowledge was the only reason Smiles made the effort to get to school every day, and was one of the only things that kept him going. He knew he was smart, that he could graduate and move far far away from his father and the whole town.

But he lacked the simplest school supplies that every other student at his school had, he didn’t have any of those fancy mechanical pencils, or a bunch of different colored pens or binders or folders, to keep everything neat. Most times his homework wasn’t turned in because he didn’t have paper, or was not allowed to read the books he needed to read in order to complete his work. But there were a few times that he did manage to turn his assignments in on paper that he found on the street, or that he managed to sneak from his Father’s desk. But that was very rare, and always risky. He never once asked anyone for help, mostly because he knew word would get to his father that he was weak, and needed help from someone else, and that would turn out badly. But most of the reason was that he simply didn’t trust anyone, sometimes not even himself.

He was often mistreated and picked on at school because of his dirty, oversized clothes, and the fact that he didn’t blend in with the rest of the students. Not all the students mistreated him though, unless being ignored counted as being mistreated, because that’s exactly what the majority of the kids that attended his school did, simply ignore him. It wasn’t that they all hated him; it was that they were scared of him, and his father. The whole town knew about his father and the drastic ways he had changed after the departure of Smiles’ mother, and knew best to avoid him at all costs, which sadly meant avoiding his son as well. Smiles stood out among his clean, well dressed classmates like the ragamuffin that he was. All of the teachers witnessed the abuses his fellow classmates caused, but every time they simply looked in the other direction. Who could blame them? After all he more or less looked like a homeless bum on the street holding a sign begging for money, only his sign was his backpack, which was just as filthy and torn apart as his clothes.

When Smiles returned home that afternoon, there was a note on the kitchen table, accompanied by a set of clean clothes, and a car key. The note told him that his father’s car was due for a safety check and that he was to change into the clean clothes and take care of it, and to be home before night hit, or else…

Smiles carefully got inside his father’s cherished Silver 1998 Honda Civic. He loved being able to drive, it didn’t even matter to him what he was driving. He felt free, away from it all, it was a nice feeling, even if it only lasted a mere hour or two, it was better than what he usually experienced. Not to mention he actually got to wear some decent clean clothes for once, clothes that his father would give him with the keys. After all, his father wasn't about to let Smiles drive his car with dirty clothes, that would mean his car would get dirty, too, and that was a big no no. Smiles got to drive the car maybe once or twice a month at the most and only to have the car washed, or repaired. Other than that his father wouldn't even let him anywhere near the car. Before his father would throw the keys at him, he always gave him the same lecture, "If you get even a little scratch on that car, or I find a strand of your hair in here you’re going to regret ever being born, do you understand me? You piece of shit." It was the same speech, with a different rude remark thrown in from time to time.

Smiles knew his father meant every word he said. He learned that the hard way. It was the first time his father allowed him to take the car to get a safety inspection. He was very careful, and got the car back home with no problems at all; well, that’s what he thought anyways. When he came home his father inspected his car and found a lot of things that Smiles didn't notice at all. First he noticed some dirt, and strands of hair on the driver’s seat. Secondly he noticed his radio station was changed to some rock and roll crap, and lastly, that the gas in the car wasn't filled up to the full line, it was maybe just half an inch away from it.

"What did you do with the extra two dollars I gave you?" Smiles father had asked.

"I bought some juice," he replied meekly.

"What!?" Smiles’ father demanded outraged. "That money was for the gas you used to drive my car into town." His father took him into the house forcefully and beat him to the point of unconsciousness. When Smiles finally awoke later that night, he was still on the floor in the corner of the living room, where the beating had taken place. Smiles’ father saw that he was awake and ordered him to clean the blood, and all the broken photos, plates and vases that his father either hit him with or had thrown at him. His body still ached with pain; his clothes were covered with bloodstains. Smiles couldn't feel his left leg, but he still managed to crawl over and wipe up the mess that his father said was his fault.

It was then that Smiles realized that just about everything was his fault, and apologized for it all, over and over again.

He started the engine carefully, making sure not to run the starter motor too long, and pulled out into the graveled roads of the unknown. Smiles made a habit of taking the longer route to reach his destination. He smiled to himself and turned the radio on; he memorized the station his father had left the radio on and the exact number of the volume before he changed to his own station. The volume was very low, barely audible, but that was okay for Smiles, he didn’t need to hear the words of the songs, or even the person singing it, just the beat and the music was enough for him to enjoy.

About halfway though his little journey Smiles noticed something up ahead, it was kind of a blur, but it was something the size of a car. As he approached closer he made out the blur to be indeed a car, it was a navy blue Honda civic, 2005 by the looks of the car, pulled over to the side. When he got closer, he noticed the young boy, who couldn’t have been more then maybe a year or two older than he was, walking around his car, seemingly upset. The boy must have heard Smiles’ car coming by because he turned and got in front of his car so he was in clear view of Smiles.

The boy had a relieved smile on his face and waved one hand in the air, as if he were hoping to get Smiles attention and maybe some help. Smiles made a habit of never looking someone in the eye but in this case he couldn’t help but stare at the boy’s face, he looked like Smiles imagined a prince would look, therefore Smiles named him The Prince.

The Prince swore to himself when Smiles made no attempt to stop or pull over and simply avoided eye contact with the prince as he drove by. The roads were more or less deserted, and the people who did drive them were usually truckers, who wouldn’t stop for some kid on the side, no matter how good he looked.

Smiles couldn’t help but constantly looking back at The Prince who got on the road as he passed and waved both hands in the air, then kicked at something on the road and walked back to his car. Looking though his rear view mirror, Smiles couldn’t help but remembering The Prince’s smile once he saw Smiles driving towards him, and then the look of sadness as he drove by and continued on. Sure Smiles felt bad, but he saw the cell phone in The Prince’s hand, he knew The Prince would get his parents or one of his friends to come to his aid and he’d go back to his rich home with his loving parents and all of his friends, or so Smiles figured just by the looks of his car, and the way The Prince was dressed. Not many people usually drove down this deserted road, Smiles thought, but then let it all fade in his memory as the beats to a song he enjoyed came on the air.

About thirty minutes later Smiles slowly pulled into the same service center he’s pulled into many times before. He found an open space next to one of the pumps and pulled up to it ever so carefully. He couldn’t help but think about The Prince and kept trying to convince himself he’d be alright.

“Afternoon, Smiles, safety inspection?” one of the workers asked.

Smiles wondered how he knew his name, but let the thought pass and gave him a slight nod. Turning off the engine Smiles stepped out of the car, and moved to the side, letting the worker get inside and start checking everything. There were two chairs in front of the service station for costumers to sit and wait, but Smiles stood next to the car the entire time. The last time he stepped away from the car and went to go have a seat, his Dad showed up at the service center, and gave him a good beating for sitting down and slacking off when he should have been watching the worker like a hawk, making sure he didn’t do anything to the car. Smiles swore to himself he’d never let the car out of his sight again.

Once the worker was though he went to the back bumper, removed the old sticker and replaced it with a new one. Smiles handed over the money for the checkup, and asked the worker to use whatever change was left for gas.

Smiles reentered the car and quickly vacuumed the driver’s seat, where the worker had left some dirt and other debris on the car mat. Once satisfied, and with the gas tank full, Smiles pulled out of the driveway and carefully looked in both directions before getting back onto the main road. He turned the radio back on, and tried to enjoy his last hour free on the road, where it was only him and the rest of the world.

He was about halfway back to his house, when he noticed the same blue blur from a distance. This caused him to slow his speed and he approached with caution, wondering why that same blue Honda civic was still there. It had been at least a good hour, and Smiles had a feeling in his gut that something wasn’t right. The closer he got he saw that the driver side door was wide open, yet there was no sign of The Prince. He knew he shouldn’t have left him there in the first place and now all his guilt was getting the better of him. He pulled his father’s car behind the blue civic.

Smiles was quick to exit his car and started looking around for The Prince.

“Hello?” He called out. The fact he was worried about the Prince surprised him; he’d never been worried about another person in his life. The feeling was new, and strange.

He waited and just listened though the wind, the sounds of the animals in the woods close by, but there was no response. He continued to look around the car, and just as he reached the front of the car he noticed something on the road a bit away from the car, just lying there, no movements or anything.

At first he carefully walked forward, his mind was racing, that little voice inside his head was screaming for him to turn around and get the hell out of there, but it was too late, he was being very cautious with every step, but the closer he got, the more he saw, until he realized it was a body in the middle of the road! His pace grew faster and faster with each step until finally he was full out sprinting the distance between them.

The Prince lay flat on his stomach, and from the looks of it wasn’t breathing. Smiles crouched down next to The Prince and tapped him lightly asking if he was okay, but there was no response. Smiles tried it again, and still nothing Smiles didn’t have a cell phone, he didn’t know first aid, or CPR, and he hadn’t the slightest clue what was wrong with The Prince. He used his index and middle finger and softly felt The Prince’s neck, and was relieved to feel a constant pulse that was getting faster and faster.

Believing that he had no other choice, Smiles sprinted back towards his father’s car, started the engine, and drove to where The Prince’s body lay. He carefully parked right next to The Prince. He opened the back door, and gently lifted The Prince up by wrapping his arms around The Prince’s shoulders and carefully climbed into the car while pulling him in. He laid The Prince on his back, and when Smiles was certain he was as comfortable as he was going to get, Smiles shut the door, started the engine and hurried towards town.

Smiles was breathing heavily and constantly turning around to look at The Prince’s body, in the back seat. He couldn’t help but admire the slim body, and how in shape The Prince seemed to be. Putting his eyes back towards the road, He kept telling himself to stay focused as he started to hit 80 on a 45 zone.

He wasn’t thinking straight, he wasn’t worried about the car, or what his father would do to him, or anything. The only thing that was important to him at that very moment was getting The Prince some medical attention.

The Prince suddenly leaped up to a sitting position, and grasped Smiles’ shoulder with one of his hands, a smile plastered over his face and the simple word “Hi,” escaping from his mouth.

Smiles let out a loud terrified scream, and took both hands off the wheel while accidently slamming on the gas instead of the brakes, sending them flying forward, in total chaos.

The car spun out of control as Smiles fought to regain control of the wheel just before crashing into a huge ditch on the side of the road and slammed hard on the brakes, causing the tires to squeal and most likely leaving a few marks on the road.

Smiles sat there, completely stunned, unable to move, unable to comprehend exactly what had just happened.

He was breathing so hard, that he thought he was about ready to pass out; instead he abruptly turned around staring daggers into the boy who sat in the back of his Father’s car, looking somewhat amused.

“Hi?” He yelled out franticly.

The boy seemed to finally sense the anger and sarcasm in Smiles tone, and shrugged, “My name is Jack,” he said extending his hand.

Smile’s jaw dropped open. He slammed it shut and narrowed his eyes at The Prince, now known to him as Jack.

“Out!” He yelled.

Jack looked confused, “Huh?”

That seemed to only anger Smiles even more, “Out. Get out,” He repeated, this time pointing towards the door.

“Aw now wait a minute I didn’t mean to…”

“Get out, NOW!” Smiles demanded, his face burning with anger and frustration. Smiles regretted ever stopping and pulling over, he regretted all the emotions that he had allowed to take over his better judgment and kept urging him to stop and help the kid out, why oh why did he let this kid get to him, to lower his shields that he spent years creating.

“Look I’m sorry I pretended to be hurt, but my cell phone isn’t working and I had no way of getting any help, so I just thought… “He paused and shook his head, “Look I’m sorry okay? Thanks anyways I guess,” Jack carefully climbed out of the car and gently closed the door.

Jack walked a few feet away from the car fully expecting Smiles to gas it out of there and leave him stranded, but the car never moved, and neither did Smiles.

Jack just stood there on the side of the road, wind in his face, his hair flying in all directions. Smiles on the other hand remained seated in the car, his eyes never leaving the rear view mirror, in which he stared at Jack.

Sighing heavily, Smiles shut off the engine, and got out of his father’s car. Smiles approached Jack, his head down, and eyes burning a hole in the ground in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” Smiles muttered, his head still down.

That surprised Jack, that wasn’t quite what he was expecting, “Excuse me? Why are you sorry?”

Smiles never had to explain himself before, so this took him off guard. Usually just an “I’m sorry,” was enough. Most times it was followed by a beating, but Smiles had a feeling Jack wasn’t going to hit him.

“I don’t know,” he replied, looking pathetic.

“How about we start over?” he pleaded.

“My name is Jack and I have a problem!” Jack said pointing back in the direction of his car.

Smiles was at a loss for words; he knew Jack needed his help, that was probably the only reason why he was speaking to him, being all around decent to him, but it didn’t matter, he was actually speaking to Smiles like he was a person, like he meant something and that brought on a entirely new side of him that he thought was lost forever.

“You’re smiling!” Jack pointed out, a smile of his own spreading across his face.

A truck was beginning to pass the boys and let out a loud signal with his horn, to make his presence known. That snapped the reality right back into Smiles, and his smile faded in the blink of an eye.

The trucks only passed this way on their last stop of the day meaning that…

Smiles looked up at the sky only to confirm, that it was getting late and that the sun was already falling and about ready to vanish all together, bringing darkness to their land.

“We have to go,” Smiles urged and literarily ran for his father’s car, with a confused Jack quick on his heels.

About twenty so minutes later, Smiles saw a sign for their town signaling that it was approximately 2 miles ahead. Smiles was ready to gas it the remaining 2 miles until he look to his left and realized he couldn’t be seen with Jack in his Father’s car. Smiles looked, and realized that Jack had fallen asleep in the passenger seat and was snoring lightly. Smiles immediately pulled over to the side and shut off the ignition.

He turned and couldn’t help but stare at Jack, The Prince, sleeping so peacefully, so beautifully it pained him to have to disturb Jack, it made his chest uneasy. He didn’t have the heart to wake the poor boy, but he knew he was already running way late and couldn’t afford to take any chances.

Smiles tapped Jack’s shoulder lightly, causing him to stir.

“Jack,” he whispered softly. “Jack!” He repeated a little louder, when he received no response.

“Hrmm?” Jack mumbled. Opening his eyes and blinking slightly.

“Jack I’m sorry, but I can’t take you any farther than this,” He offered weakly.

Jack smiled at Smiles, and then looked around and leaned forward when he realized they were stopped on the side of the road.

“But why?” Jack asked undeterred.

“I just can’t. Please, you have to go.” Jack was making it hard for him, but he knew he was doing the right thing, his father couldn’t see him and Jack together. He couldn’t be responsible for whatever his Dad would do to Jack if he was seen in his car.

Jack stared into Smiles’ eyes and saw the fear, the anger burning in them. “Okay,” He offered meekly. He slowly opened the door, and stepped out of Smiles’ car, Smiles’ eyes watching him the entire time.

“Thanks for everything,” He said. Jack closed the door gently and stood back while Smiles pulled back onto the road and drove off.

Suddenly Jack’s eyes opened wide and he ran after the car, hands waving in the air, “Wait, WAIT!” he screamed after Smiles, but he was no match for the speed of Smiles’ car, and soon the car vanished into the midnight mist.

Jack stopped in the middle of the road and panted heavily, trying to catch his breath, “You never told me your name,” he whispered into the air.

****

Smiles kept a tight grip on the steering wheel to compensate for the way his entire body shook uncontrollable because of how terrified he was. Which made the rest of the trip home a very bumpy ride. He didn't know what his Father was going to do to him for being late, but he could only imagine and that kept him trembling.

Smiles managed to pull into the driveway in less than ten minutes and wiped some of the sweat from his forehead. He shut off the engine and slowly removed the keys from the ignition. Smiles didn't notice the door to his house wide open, nor did he notice the man hovering over the driver’s side door.

Smiles’ father ripped the car door open and yanked Smiles out of the car by the collar of his shirt, then slammed him back against the car.

"What the fuck happened to my car," Smiles’ father spat out.

Smiles remained motionless and kept his head down to avoid looking at his father.

"I asked you a question," he bellowed. When Smiles refused to say anything his father slammed him against the car once more.

"You'll answer me when I talk to you boy, or so help me god tomorrow you won't live to see the light of day," he threatened.

Smile’s father growled with impatience and gave Smiles a swift kick to the chest.

Smiles knelt over holding his chest; his Father grabbed him by his hair and dragged him into the house, where he was certain the beating would continue.

Smiles thought of Prince Jack while his father beat him mercilessly with his fists, blows mostly to his face. He continued to think of Prince Jack and what an impact he made on his life in such a little time, Smiles filled his memory of the time they spent together; hoping the only happy thoughts he had in years would help to ease the pain. Prince Jack’s beautiful hazel eyes were the last thing on Smiles’ mind before everything seemed to go black, and he no longer felt, or heard anything.

***

Smiles groaned as he began to stir awake. He opened his eyes and blinked when the blinding morning light was shining right above him. When his eyes finally adjusted to the light he looked around. Only then did he realize he was still on the floor in the living room, covered in his own blood. He tried to stand up too quickly and the pain in his legs shot though his veins causing him to topple back over.

Taking a deep breath he tried to stand up again but this time slowly and using the walls behind him for support. He got up and looked over at the cheap clock on the wall that read 8:10AM.

Knowing he would be late but still wanting to go to school he looked around to see if his father was still home. Not seeing or hearing any sign of him he peeked though the curtains to confirm that his father and the car weren’t home.

Limping to the bathroom he undressed and washed his body of the blood, dirt and sweat. He usually didn’t risk taking a shower in fears that his father would come home before he finished, but today he didn’t seem to care. He had a pretty good feeling his father wouldn’t be home in the five minutes it took him to just wash himself off. Smiles didn’t use any soap because there wasn’t any, not for him anyways. Once he was satisfied he was as clean as he’d ever be he dried off with a towel he had hidden under the couch. After wiping himself down with the old dirty towel he used it to wipe down the bathroom to remove any remaining water, and evidence that he had used it.

He picked up one of his neatly folded t-shirts and jeans and threw them on. Despite the fact that his clothes were hardly ever washed, and were torn, he still made a habit of neatly folding them and stacking them in a pile to keep them somewhat nice.

Still limping Smiles grabbed his backpack from the floor and swung it over one shoulder on his way out the door.

Because Smiles was injured and walking way slower than his usual pace it took him twice as long to get to school and by the time he made it there it was already almost noon, meaning lunch time was just about to begin.

Just as Smiles stepped on campus the lunch bell rang, which flooded the halls with students and his presence did not go unnoticed by the bullies who had been tormenting him for as long as he could remember.

A group of four boys approached him. “Well well, look who decided to come back to school,” the smallest boy of the group said. He took a step towards Smiles and gave him a small push backwards while the rest of the guys made a circle in front of him. “What happened to your face, your daddy catch you looking at his gay porn?” Another one said, followed by another push.

“We thought maybe you finally got the hint and left town, I mean being gone for a week and all.”

Smiles didn’t know why but he could feel his anger rising, with every new insult they threw at him. He was use to being spoken to that way, use to being looked at with disgust, use to just taking the insults, keeping his head down and just moving on. But for some strange reason he felt different today. But then something one of the boys said finally seemed to register though his head.

“I mean being gone for a week and all…”

Smiles looked confused, “What day is it?” He barely whispered. Everyone on the halls seemed to stop and turn to look at Smiles.

“Look at that, it speaks!” The same boy commented, causing them all to point and laugh at Smiles’ expense.

Smiles knew this was all wrong and unlike his behavior, he spun around ready to escape but instead ran straight into a stomach, causing him to stubble back a few steps. He looked up at the star football quarterback and lead jerk of them all and by instinct mumbled out a lame “Sorry.”

The quarterback just smirked at him and shoved him back towards the other group of boys, “You’re going to be,” he said.

“Maybe we should just leave him alone, I mean look at his face, I don’t think it could get fucked up anymore, besides I’m not touching that,” he said pointing at Smiles. “Phew I might catch swine flu from the pig,” the small boy continued, covering his mouth and nose with his hand.

Smiles turned around to look for a way out, but the boys had formed a circle around him blocking any way to get out.

Someone grabbed his backpack and ripped it from his shoulder, he spun around and tried to grab it back from the quarterback, but he just laughed at Smiles. The quarterback held Smile’s bag up high in the air and Smiles, like a little kid would, was jumping up and trying to reach for it until the quarterback’s fist connected with his face and sent him flying to the ground.

“Let’s see what we have here,” he said, digging though Smile’s bag.

No one had ever taken his bag away from him before, and that added to the anger that already was rising though Smiles. That backpack was the only thing that was really his and in it he kept everything he owned including the only picture he had of him and his mom.

“Well look at this,” the quarterback said while pulling out a folded up picture. He let out a loud whistle, “Look at this guys, damn I’d fuck her any day, this your mamma, bitch?” All the rest of the guys took turns looking at his picture.

“Wait I remember her,” he paused as if thinking back on something, “Yeah she’s the slut that begged me for a real man’s dick, “ the quarterback said grabbing at his dick though his pants. “Don’t worry, I fucked her good, didn’t I fellas?” The quarterback said turning towards one of his buddies.

Turning his back towards Smile’s was the biggest mistake of his life.

Smiles rushed forward and easily tackled the quarterback to the floor, taking him off guard and totally vulnerable. Smiles then began hitting the quarterback, landing blows at the quarterback’s face which he tried to block, but Smile’s strength seemed to be no match for his own at the moment. After the first four blows to the face, the Quarterback no longer even tried to block the oncoming blows and simply laid there helpless. His friends still surrounded the two of them but seemed to be frozen in place, and unable to react.

Lifting up the quarterback by his shirt collar with his right hand, Smiles threw two more hard left hooks at the quarterback’s face before letting go of his collar letting his head drop back down on to the floor with a loud thud.

A strong hand landed on Smiles’ shoulder. Alarmed that the quarterback’s friends finally decided to join in, Smiles leaped up and around, his fist connecting with another face, square in his left eye. When the boy fell to the floor Smiles jumped on him and tightened his hands around the boy’s throat.

Jack’s hazel eyes widened in surprise and horror. He was only trying to get Smiles attention, to stop him but ended up somehow being his next victim. Jack threw his hands at Smiles’ face, trying to get him to stop; he managed to grab onto the sides of Smiles’ face and brought it down towards his own so Smiles would be forced to look straight into his eyes.

Staring into Jack’s terrified hazel eyes was all it took for Smiles to break out of his crazed trance and release his death grip on Jack’s throat. Smiles stepped back and away from Jack altogether, breathing heavily, his eyes wide open in horror at what he had just done. Two of the quarterback’s friends ran for the exit in fear that they would be next, but the remaining two ignored Smiles and Jack and knelt down beside the quarterback.

Smiles looked at Jack, then glanced over at the quarterback, then back to Jack, still unable to believe what he had just done.

The quarterback just lay motionless, blood dripping down from his face and onto the floor. His two friends were on either side of him trying to see if he was okay. Smile’s could hear loud footsteps rushing towards them, he glanced at Jack and gave him a brief apologetic look, then without a second thought, grabbed his backpack and dashed in the opposite direction towards the emergency exit, still limping and all.

He made it about a mile away from the school and was passing though a deserted park when he tripped over a tree root sticking out near a tree and fell to the ground with light tears falling down his face. Smiles landed on his hands and only then did he see the blood that covered them. He pushed himself off the ground and held both his hands out towards his face.

“Wha…wha… what did I… I do.”

Smile’s heard a pair of footsteps crunching over dead leafs and broken tree branches. They sounded like they were close and headed straight for him. He told himself he wouldn’t run, that he needed to turn himself in and face whatever consequences lay in store because of his actions.

He wasn’t expecting to see Jack running at him, and stopping but a few feet in front of him, leaning on a tree and gasping for air.

When Jack attempted to move closer towards Smiles, Smiles backed away, holding out his hands at Jack. “Don’t get any closer,” he warned. “You saw what I did to you, I’m… I’m a monster.” Smiles muttered, afraid.

Jack shook his head in disagreement, “No you’re not a monster; you’re a shy soft hearted beautiful boy, who deserves way more then you’ve had so far,” Jack paused, then turned and pointed back in the direction of the school, “Those guys, they’re the real monsters and they got exactly what they deserved.”

“But… but I… I hit you, and I” he swallowed hard, “I almost choked you to death.” He covered his face with his hands, ashamed at what he had done. He was disgusted with what he had allowed himself to do, with his life, and everything that happened to him. He was no longer an emotionless void and was beginning to break.

“But you didn’t mean to, I know you didn’t mean to,” Jack assured Smiles.

Smiles kept his face buried in his hands, “I thought you were one of his friends coming to the rescue,” he admitted. “I just panicked.”

“It’s okay, I promise you, everything’s going to be okay,” Jack was slowly inching his way towards Smiles, throughout the conversation. At this point he stood right in front of Smiles and could wait no longer. Jack wrapped his arms around the skinny, pale, younger boy and held him tightly. Smiles could hold back his tears no longer, and allowed the boy who had tricked him into picking him up on the side of the road, the boy who had opened up his eyes, the boy who had done so much for him and yet, kept doing more. He allowed Jack into his embrace, and held him desperately, crying onto his shoulder, needing him to hold on and never let go.

Together they stayed in that exact spot, in that exact position, learning about each other and talking until the sun touched the ocean and was swept away into the darkness.

Jack told how he and his parents had just moved into Smiles’ town a few days ago and that it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Jack also spoke about the puppy his parents had bought him, and all his friends that he had left behind and would miss. Smiles thought they all sounded like people he would have loved, and gotten along with, well.

Smiles on the other hand spoke mostly about his mother, and how one day, without a word, she had left him and his father, and then vanished. Smiles spoke about how she used to read him fairytales every day, even when he was still in her stomach, and that every day that went by he missed her more and more. Then he spoke briefly about his father, and how life with him was, which Jack already knew about, but kept that piece of information to himself.

“I have to go home,” Smiles announced suddenly just when they were really getting to know each other.

Jack looked disappointed, but he knew this was something Smiles had to do, and on his own. “Will I see you again?” Jack asked hopefully.

“If everything goes according to plan I shall met you at this very spot, when the sun rises into the blue sky and the light banishes the darkness and leaves us blinded by the magic that is life.”

“Tomorrow then, at sun rise,” Jack confirmed. “I’ll be waiting,” He promised, and allowed Smiles to break away from their embrace, to venture off back to his cruel world for one last time.

***

Smiles walked up the street that led to his home, the home he despised so much, the home that held all of his memories, some cherished, but most unbearable.

But most important was the man that lived inside that home, and the things that were about to change, the things that needed to change.

He opened the screen door to his house and made a beeline towards where he kept the remainder of his personal things, and shoved them all into his backpack. Hoping that his presence had gone unnoticed, he quietly crept back down the hall and back towards the front door, not even willing to risk another night in his own home.

“Where do you think you’re going?” His father said, intercepting his path towards the door, and stopping him just right in front of it.

Smiles kept his head low, ashamed at being caught, terrified about what he was doing, terrified that he lost his only chance to ever leave, and that’d he’d be stuck trapped in his own house for the rest of his life.

“I asked you a question,” His father growled, seeming to be getting sick of Smiles lack of response as of late.

There wasn’t a second that passed that Smiles didn’t consider just telling his father that he was “sorry,” and to take the beating that came with that, rather than remaining quiet and testing what was left of his fathers patience, which wasn’t much at all.

Smiles even tried to say the words, but he couldn’t.

“What are you sorry for?” He remembered Jack’s voice asking him...

A hand reached out and slapped Smiles across his face.

For the first time in his life he lifted his head up, and held it up high. He looked his father straight in the eye. His father was taken aback by Smile’s actions, but didn’t let it intimidate him in the least.

“This is your entire fault you know!” his father shouted.

Smiles didn’t look away from his father for even a second, as his words snuck into Smiles brain. “My fault?” Smiles stammered out.

“What boy you deaf? You heard me, now if you’re done wasting my time get your ass in the kitchen and clean up the mess you made.” Smiles continued to stare at his father, and his father stared back, as if he were testing Smiles.

“No!” Smiles said hesitantly.

Smiles father got right in his face and shoved him backwards against a wall, “Listen here you shit, it’s your fault we have to live like this, and if you ever think about disobeying me again, you won’t be able to sit for weeks, do I make myself clear?” Smiles father stared daggers at him.

“I won’t clean up your messes anymore, I’m leaving you.” Smiles replied, shaking himself off the wall and staring right back into his father’s face.

“Leaving?” He smirked. “You’re not going anywhere,” He said clenching his fists.

Smiles shook his head, “You can’t hurt me anymore, because I know your secret.”

“My secret?” His father laughed. “Just what secret would that be?”

“You couldn’t face the fact that mom left you… that she actually left you, and not the other way around. You always have to be right, so instead of dealing with it you ignored it and found someone else to put all the blame on.” Smiles paused to wipe a tear in his eye, “And for all these years I just stood there and took it, all the abuse all the beatings everything. But not anymore, I won’t be your slave anymore.”

His father frowned, “Everything I told you was true, whether you like it or not, your Mom left because of you, everything is your fault, if you were never born I’d have everything, everything.” He repeated.

“Well you don’t have to worry about me anymore then.” Smiles picked up his backpack and stared his father in the eye one last time before moving towards the door.

“You think you’ll make it out there? I gave you a roof over your head clothes on your back and now you’re just going to leave? Face it you need me, you’re nothing without me!” Smiles’ father yelled behind him.

Smiles was just about to walk out the door when his father’s last words stung him, and made him stop. “What you gave me? Let me tell you what you gave me. You gave me a father who abused me and nearly beat the life out of me almost every single day, You gave me a father who blamed me for all of his mistakes, and stupidity because he isn’t man enough to take blame for his own actions, but more important, you gave me independence. Yes, independence. You see, I have had no one but myself ever since Mom left and I’m fine with living in the homeless shelter or wherever I end up for a while until I can figure something out, because at least there I won’t be afraid to sleep because of you, I’ll be fine no matter where I am, as long as I’m away from you.” Smiles opened the door.” And you’re wrong about something, I don’t need you. You need me!” And without another word, Smiles slammed the door shut and walked away from his former life, the life he would never forget, the life he would never return to.

***

The next morning, when the sun rose into the big blue sky and the light banished the darkness and left the world blinded by the magic that is life. Smiles slept under the tree, until a shadow fell over him and he awoke to footsteps approaching.

Jack raced to the spot, praying that Smiles would be there. He had only just met Smiles yet he had already fallen in love, and his poor heart couldn’t wait any longer.

“You came!” Jack whispered, once he spotted Smiles under the tree.

“I told you I’d be here,” He replied. Smiles stared at Jack, and was mesmerized by how beautiful he was, like a real prince.

Jack moved closer to Smiles until they were reunited in each other’s arms and embraced once more; the only difference was that the tears that came from Smiles’ eyes were tears of joy.

After what seemed like hours, Smiles pulled away from Jack breaking the embrace they both knew wouldn’t last forever, “I’m so sorry,” Smiles began to say, still thinking about the day before, and gently touching Jack’s black eye. But Jack silenced him by just placing his finger over Smiles’ red lips.

“Don’t be, you were just protecting yourself, and I could never blame you, or be mad at you for that; you are very brave.” Jack said.

“Don’t you ever be sorry for something that’s not your fault, do you understand me?” Jack continued.

Smiles looked like he was about to protest, but Jack placed both his hands on Smile’s face and pulled it so close to his own that they could feel the other’s soft breath across their faces.

“You need to get it through your skull that you can’t always take the blame for things you didn’t do, I don’t know who’s been doing this to you, but I promise you you’ll never have to face it alone again.” He paused and stared hard into Smile’s eye, “That’s if you’ll let me. Will you let me help you?”

Smile’s never let anyone in; he faced the world alone, and was proud with how he managed to survive on his own for so long, but it was slowly eating him alive, and he didn’t know how much longer he could live all alone.

Things for him have already changed so much, but more important, and somewhat frightening, he didn’t know who he was anymore.

Not trusting his voice Smiles slowly nodded. That brought a smile across Jack’s face, a smile that Smiles thought he’d never see again, a smile that Smiles wanted to see for a very long time.

“There’s just one last thing.” Jack whispered softly.

“Anything,” Smiles replied.

“I still don’t know your name.”

Smiles couldn’t help the big smile that formed at the tip of his cheeks, “My name is Smiles,” he answered.

“Smiles,” Jack repeated softly. Jack couldn’t wait any longer and wrapped his arms around Smiles’ waist, and brought him close until their lips met, and Smiles knew, whatever happened next, wherever life would take them, his name would never go unnoticed ever again.

THE END

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Thanks to David, Steve, Krista, and Tiff for editing/Beta reading.

All other mistakes are mine and mine alone! Last but not least a big thanks to you! That's right you reading this right now, thank you for taking time to spare my story a glance.

(c) Meeko 2008-2009 All Rights Reserved. No parts of this story may be copied, reproduced, in print or in any other format, without express written consent from the author

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