The Fresher - 2. Chapter 2

It looked like a bomb had exploded in my room. There were open boxes everywhere with random contents spilling out all over the floor. I’m a bit of a neat freak – something instilled in me by both of my parents – and the mess was driving me nuts. One of my new housemates had arrived every time I’d started unpacking my things, and I’d lost count of the number of times I’d run up and down the stairs to welcome them, introduce myself, and help them bring in their stuff. Despite Jake’s claim that helping me move my things into my room was ‘all part of the service,’ not one of my new housemates had anyone other than their parents or brothers and sisters with them when they’d arrived, so I put it down to the luck of the draw that I’d had Jake’s help when I moved in. Besides, as the saying goes, you should never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Not long after my parents had left, however, Jake had looked at his watch and sighed. “I’m really sorry bud, but I kinda need to head off myself. They’ll be expecting me back at the entrance.” I think disappointment must have clouded my face, because he quickly added, “Besides, it’ll be easier for you to meet all your new housemates without me hanging around.”

Taking out his mobile phone, he had asked for my number, saying that he’d send me a text later on when he knew what he’d been roped into helping out with that evening. I’d wanted to ask for his number in return, but it would have been embarrassing to put him on the spot like that when I didn’t really expect to ever see or hear from the guy again anyway. Things had been a little awkward after my parents had left, to say the least.

Shaking the memory out of my head, I sighed to myself, regretting the way I’d so eagerly dismissed my parents earlier on. It would take me forever to get round to unpacking my stuff on my own at this rate, especially if I kept on helping all the new arrivals. Standing in the centre of my room looking at the mess created by all of my belongings strewn haphazardly around, I decided to concentrate on getting my own room straight. Given how bleak the bare walls were, I decided to do something about them first. I had labelled up my boxes meticulously, so it didn’t take me too long to find the one I was looking for. I dug out the movie posters and artwork reprints I’d brought along with me to try and make the space feel a bit more homely. I wanted to stamp my own mark on the place and I was sure that it would make me feel better.

Affixing my last poster to the wall, I stood back and admired my handiwork, giving my efforts a nod of approval. The room already felt a bit more like home. I realised that the quickest way to get things done would be to concentrate on doing things in a logical order. I grabbed the boxes containing all of my kitchen and food supplies and found an empty cupboard for them in the communal kitchen half a flight of stairs up from my room. Progress. I then arranged all of my toiletries in the en-suite bathroom and hung up or folded away my clothes. In relatively short order, I set up my laptop and printer on my desk, managed to get myself hooked up to the university Wi-Fi network, and then spent what seemed like an eternity finding a home for all the random items my mum had secretly packed without me knowing.

A couple of hours later, shortly after lying down on my bed to take a well deserved, five-minute break, I heard my phone buzz and vibrate over on my desk. Groaning, I peeled myself off of the mattress and walked over to my phone. Picking it up and seeing a number I didn’t recognise, I swiped the screen and read the message.

> Hi Andrew. Sorry I had 2 rush off earlier. Thank ur mum 4 lunch btw, not sure I did! Anyway, I’m helping out @ the SU event 2night. Catch u l8r…? Jake

I really hadn’t expected Jake to contact me, so it was nice to know that he was a man of his word, and I couldn’t deny that his apology cheered me up. Unsure what other events might be going on that evening, and not yet knowing what my new housemates might be planning, I remembered my welcome pack contained an itinerary of the various events being put on each day, so I rummaged around in the top drawer of my desk until I found the piece of paper I was looking for. It turned out that the only thing scheduled for that night was a low-key welcome event being held at the Student Union in any case, so it looked like I’d probably run into Jake later on at some point or other. The thuds coming from the room directly above mine snapped me out of my thoughts and suggested one of my new housemates might be struggling. Doing my best to be a friendly neighbour, I headed up to see if there was anything I could do to help.

Knocking on the door, I heard a strained voice shout, “It’s unlocked! Come in! QUICK!”

I opened the door wide and took in the scene before me: a guy about my height was half balancing a huge and very expensive-looking TV on one of his knees whilst frantically trying to clear enough space for it on his desk. Finding the situation quite amusing, I unexpectedly started to chuckle. The guy spun his head in my direction with a pleading look etched on his face. He clearly needed some assistance, and me laughing at his predicament obviously wasn’t helping.

Walking into the room, I quickly moved aside the things cluttering the desk so that he could concentrate on just holding the TV, and in no time at all we got it safely set up on his desk, all in one piece. Bent double with his hands on his knees trying to regain his composure, the guy breathed a huge sigh of relief, making me chuckle again, and then he stuck out his hand to introduce himself.

“I’m Matt,” he said. “Thanks for your help, mate. I was seriously close to dropping that then!” Realising it must have been quite a funny scene to walk in on, he finally chuckled himself, shaking his head and causing his shaggy brown hair to fall into his eyes. He looked like he’d just stepped off a surfboard. Brushing the hair out of his eyes, which I now saw were a really striking hazel colour, he continued, “I owe you a pint tonight. Seriously. You’re a lifesaver! What’s your name anyway?”

“Andrew,” I replied, grinning. “I’m not sure about being a lifesaver, but I won’t say no to that pint. I live in the room under yours, and I could tell by the racket you were making up here that you needed some help.”

“Thanks mate. I promise I’ll try not to make so much noise in future. If I do, just bang on your ceiling and I’ll know to keep it down.”

Sometimes when you meet new people, you instantly know whether or not you’re going to click, and there was something about Matt that I really liked. I sat on his bed whilst he unpacked some of his things, and we chatted a bit about our pasts, compared what grades we’d got in our A-Levels, and talked about the courses we’d be studying. Matt was on the Economics and International Development course, and he seemed genuinely impressed when I told him that I’d be studying German and Russian. The more he spoke, the more I detected a slight West Country accent, and I found it totally endearing.

“Wow! You can speak Russian?” he asked.

“Uh, no, actually. I studied German at school, but I’ll be starting Russian from scratch here. I’ve never spoken a word of the language in my life. Well, not unless you count ‘vodka,’ in which case I’m fluent,” I joked.

“No kidding! But what if you suck at Russian?”

I laughed, which seemed to take him by surprise. “I guess I’ve never thought of that,” I admitted, thinking I may well have made a fundamental mistake here, and bit down on my bottom lip. “Well, if the shit really hits the fan, I guess you’ll find me propping up the bar in the Student Union. Talking of which, I think there’s some event going on there tonight. Do you fancy heading over there in a bit to scope it out with me? I met this second-year student earlier on – who actually lived in my room last year, believe it or not – and they text me not long ago asking if I’d be there later.”

“Get you hooking up with a second-year student already! Christ! They weren’t wasting any time snapping you up, were they? Was she hot?” he asked, with a devilish grin.

“Uh…” I stalled, giving myself a split second to decide how to play this. I realised in that moment that I didn’t want to continue living a lie; I wanted university to be a fresh start and to finally be true to myself. I sighed. “It was a ‘he’ actually.” Going for broke, I continued with a grin of my own, “But yeah, he was pretty damn hot! Although I seriously doubt the feeling’s mutual. I’m pretty sure he’s straight, and way out of my league in any case!”

I couldn’t believe I’d just said that – out loud – to an actual person. The briefest moment’s silence ensued as I watched him digest this piece of information. My heart seemed to stop and sweat formed in my tightly clenched fists.

“So you’re gay, huh?”

Although I didn’t think I detected any judgement in his voice, I couldn’t help but panic. “I’ve never really been mad about labels, but yeah, I like guys,” I managed to say, before going into overdrive, getting the words out as fast as I could. “But my sexuality’s really only a small part of who I am. It doesn’t define me. I’m not some rainbow flag-wielding militant trying to convert everyone to the cause or anything…”

As I paused to take a much-needed breath, sitting on the edge of his bed with my leg bouncing up and down at lightning speed, he looked at me like I’d grown a third head.

“Chill, mate! Relax! It’s not an issue for me!” he said, gesturing with one of his hands for me to calm down. Seeing my disbelief, he continued, “Honestly. Listen mate, I don’t think sexuality’s such a straightforward, black-and-white thing anyway. Most people are probably somewhere on a scale between the two extremes if they’re being completely honest. And in any case, just think how grateful all the straight lads are going to be. With someone like you out of the competition for the girls, it means they’ll stand more of a chance!” He winked.

I actually managed to laugh, more from relief than anything else, I think. I looked back up at him, still a little uncertain as to whether this might actually be some cruel joke, but he just smiled back at me. He walked over to the bed, sat down next to me and put his arm around me, just like Jake had earlier.

“Look, I know we’ve only just met, but you seem like a really nice bloke, and I reckon we’re going to be good mates, you and I. If anyone here has a problem with you being gay, or whatever you want to call it – or not call it – I’ve got your back. They mess with you, they mess with me. Got it?”

Having someone accept me for who I was felt like having the most incredible weight lifted off. Relief washed over me. Although I wasn’t normally an emotional person, I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes, threatening to spill over. I turned away from Matt in shame, certain he’d think less of me for showing my emotions. To my surprise, he clamped one of his rough hands on the back of my neck, pulled the top of my head towards him and gave me a quick but gentle, blink-and-you’d-miss-it peck on the side of my forehead. The simple gesture pushed me over the edge, but he just pulled me into his chest and allowed me to let it out, which I did. Frustrated with myself, I eventually sat myself back upright and wiped the tears away from my face with the palm of my hand. I couldn’t look him in the eye.

“You’re the first person I’ve ever told, you know? You must think I’m a right nutcase. I’m not usually like this, honest!” I said, the panic rising in my voice.

“What part of ‘chill’ don’t you understand, mate? I completely get it, Andrew. Can I call you Andy, by the way?”

I nodded, not daring to speak again just yet, but finally met his gaze.

“Cool,” he said, by way of acknowledgement. “Didn’t you hear anything I just said? It’s not an issue! Not even remotely.”

We chatted a while longer and once he realised I’d finally calmed down, Matt glanced at his watch and said, “I don’t know about you, but I think I’m going to have a shower to freshen up before we head out.”

“That’s probably not a bad idea,” I agreed, getting up to leave Matt’s room.

“Oh, and leave it to me to round up the others. I think there are still a few people I haven’t met yet, so I’ll fill everyone in on the plan whilst I’m making my rounds. How about we meet in the downstairs kitchen at eight o’clock?”

After nodding my agreement, I made my way back down to my room. Seeing my phone on my desk, I realised that I still hadn’t replied to Jake’s message. As I picked it up and swiped the screen, I saw that I’d missed a call from my parents in the meantime as well. I decided to get the text to Jake sorted first.

> Hey! Gr8 2 hear from u + thx 4 ur help earlier! Will tell my mum, no probs. Few of us heading 2 the SU around 8-ish – will keep an eye out 4 u!

Fully expecting Jake not to reply, I was surprised when my phone almost instantly buzzed and vibrated in my hand.

> Nice 1, c u l8r then bud! Looking 4ward 2 it!

I couldn’t help but grin. With the phone still in my hand, I returned my parents’ call. My mum put me on speakerphone so that my dad could listen in whilst I filled them in on what I’d been up to since they left.

“How was your journey back home?” I asked after a while.

“Pretty uneventful,” my mum replied. Yawning, she added, “We’re actually feeling pretty beat after the long drive though, so we’re planning on getting an early night. How about you?”

“There’s an event on at the Student Union later, so a few of us are heading over there in a bit to check it out,” I said.

“That’s nice, dear.” After a brief pause, she added, “Will you be seeing Jake there?”

“Probably,” I replied, as neutrally as possible. “Oh, he asked me to pass on his thanks for lunch by the way. He wasn’t sure whether he got round to thanking you earlier.”

“Tell him he’s more than welcome, dear.” There was another brief pause and I could hear my mum’s hand brushing against the mouthpiece on her phone, distorting the sound and making it impossible for me to hear whatever it was she was muttering to my dad in the background. She came back a second later and shocked me by saying, “He’s a bit of a hottie, isn’t he?”

I banged the palm of my free hand against my forehead. I couldn’t believe my mum had just said that. But then it dawned on me what it was that she was actually doing. By not making a big deal out of it, they were trying to make this as easy as possible for me.

After my own brief pause, whilst I was debating whether or not I should finally lay my cards on the table, I simply replied with a chuckle, “Yes, mum. He most definitely is.”

Laughing, my dad spoke up. “Well, have a fantastic time tonight, son. And don’t be a stranger. We love you.”

“I love you, too,” I replied, tears pricking my eyelids once more.

Looking at my watch and realising I needed to get a move on if I was going to head out with the others, I finished the call and headed over to my wardrobe in a bit of a daze. I knew that I wanted to look my best, but I didn’t have a clue what I was going to wear. Delaying the decision, I fixed myself something quick for dinner in the kitchen upstairs – pasta and pesto, I’m ashamed to admit.