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    PBax
  • PBax
  • Author
  • 01/19/2015
  • 21 Words
  • 764 Views
  • 4 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Tanka Play 2015 - 1. Chapter 1

Silence chokes my grasp…

Fear threaded carabiners…

Unpulsed voids descend...

Lashed to the disquietude

I have become the abyss…

Copyright © 2015 PBax; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 2
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

AC Benus

I agree with carringtonrj, there are some really strong words at play here, although perhaps the over all image that one is supposed to get is a bit fuzzy. Um, i guess i get a keychain dangling over the fires of hell. Is that about right..? Maybe i'm way off :)

 

I am glad you are exploring one of my favorite genres of poetry though, please keep stretching the form until it does what you want it to do.

PBax
On 01/20/2015 07:29 AM, carringtonrj said:
I like the strength of your word play. Interesting.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. I'm still working my brain through Tanka, and after arranging/rearranging 5 lines over and over and over and over--well, at some point it's time to let it off the leash and see where it goes.

 

I hope you'll continue reading, and continue sharing your thoughts. Means a ton.

PBax
On 01/20/2015 08:29 AM, AC Benus said:
I agree with carringtonrj, there are some really strong words at play here, although perhaps the over all image that one is supposed to get is a bit fuzzy. Um, i guess i get a keychain dangling over the fires of hell. Is that about right..? Maybe i'm way off :)

 

I am glad you are exploring one of my favorite genres of poetry though, please keep stretching the form until it does what you want it to do.

Thank you for taking the time to post a reply!

 

I was concerned about this image, especially since it was so closely attached to the word carabiners.

 

You are nearer than you know with the idea of a "key" and being suspended over a "hell" (and that most definitely feels reassuring to me) though the image you received is not the one I intended. The failure on that count fully my own.

 

Tanka Play continues on. I hope you'll continue your feedback. Means so much.

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