Storm Wolf: Tranquil waters - 43. Chapter 9 - Academy 9.6

Back in my dorm room, I spent some time figuring out how to sync my personal device with the desktop terminal. In the end, all I had to do was place the black rectangular panel on the desk and scan my biometrics. Easy enough.

I then spent the entire afternoon filling out forms, answering all sorts of questions ranging from "Any potential unregistered allergies or medical conditions?" to "Have you ever entered 'Tel'aran'rhiod'?" They were... pretty thorough.

Only one section remained: "With your psychic abilities, what goals do you hope to achieve?" I tapped my fingernail lightly on the screen.

"Why are they asking about gender, sexual orientation, and preferences? Isn't that a bit intrusive?" Tadao complained behind me.

"I guess...," I thought, my ears feeling a bit warm, "Maybe for matchmaking events or something?" I couldn't quite picture it. "But it's not mandatory, so I don't really mind."

"What's... 'demisexual'?" Tadao hesitated over the pronunciation of the unfamiliar term.

"It's a gray area orientation--someone who only feels sexual attraction towards people they've established a significant emotional bond with." I wasn't completely sure, so I opened the browser to double-check. Sometimes I get mixed up between gender identity and sexual orientation myself.

"But isn't that... normal?" Tadao sounded confused. "Who would feel attraction without an emotional connection?"

"Oh, I think you're mixing up 'sexual attraction' with 'romantic orientation.'" I sent him a link to the definitions. "I don't fully get it either, but I think that's how it works." Scratching my ear, I realized that if I wanted to ask someone more about this, I wouldn't even know who to turn to. Master Faurik, maybe? That would be weird.

I shrugged, relieved this wasn't something I needed to worry about.

"I was going to pick 'heterosexual,' but...," I glanced back at Tadao, who was scrolling through the terms and reading other related links. "This is so... complicated. Now I'm not sure."

Wait, is this something that actually happens to people?

"Um... I think there's an 'Undecided' option?" I remembered my earlier conversation with Qana, wondering why I couldn't talk about these things as casually as he could.

"Sounds good," I heard the sound of him tapping the screen. "What about you?"

What? Wasn't he just complaining about intrusive?

"Gay." I wasn't sure how to respond without sounding awkward, but this was the best I could manage.

"Oh." Tadao responded simply. If he was trying to act unbothered, he was doing a much better job than I was. "Does it... feel any different?"

"Hmm..." I didn't bother correcting the slight inaccuracy in his question; I could guess what he meant. "I'd like to say 'no,' but my case is a little... special. I'm not sure how the different factors correlate or what's causation."

I didn't need to expand my senses to feel Tadao's confused gaze on my back.

"For most of my life, the last decade or so at least, I haven't really had any normal conversations or interactions with other gray wolves my age." I continued tapping the screen with my nail, still unsure what to write. "So, I can't say for sure if my feelings and my situation are due to social isolation or some other psychological or biological factors."

"Oh... sorry. That sounds... rough." He sounded awkward. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Not really. I was always an unwelcome presence in the Senate. And loneliness is just a state, nothing more. I've grown used to it," I said quietly, absentmindedly scrolling through the document.

"But I think...," after a brief silence, Tadao spoke again, "In a new environment, maybe you'll find some answers?"

"I think so, too," I felt a smile forming at the corner of my mouth. "This is a fresh start."

After that, we both focused on our own tasks, not saying much. I returned to answering the question, "What goals do you hope to achieve?", writing down my most honest thoughts.

Later, I spent some time printing my everyday items. There's something strangely fascinating about watching the nano-nozzle layer molecules according to the blueprint, eventually forming a real object. It felt almost magical.

I admit it was a bit silly, but I went with the Senate's style of clothing. Fashion was never my strong suit, and I didn't care much about it anyway, so practicality and habit were more important.

When dinner came around, Tadao went off with Hemp senpai for some "talk," leaving me and Altai wapiti alone in the dining hall.

"Sorry, the Academy replied that they can't make an exception for you, but they will forward your situation to Qana," Kotetsu senpai said as soon as he sat down, probably noticing my anxiousness.

I was still a bit disappointed, but I knew this wasn't something he could control, so I simply thanked him and quietly hoped Qana would explain my situation to Aether.

"Only four? That's fewer than I expected." Kotetsu senpai glanced over the invitations I'd received before handing my terminal back to me.

Receiving letters from Masters Sunflare and Takahashi left me both confused and surprised, though part of me had anticipated it. The other two were signed by Dawn and Field.

"Those two are... rather mysterious figures," Kotetsu senpai rubbed his temples. "Master Dawn, as you might know, is a gray wolf from the Gray faction, specializing in medicine. It's such a niche field that no one's really sure what her expertise is." He scrolled to Master Field's letter. "Master Field, a dragon. Among active psychics, his strength is second only to Master Sunflare. But 'active' might not be the best word for him." I could see Kotetsu senpai's slight frustration. "He's temperamental and irritable, and he's never accepted a single apprentice's application. So, no one knows what he's up to."

"Hmm..." I tucked the terminal back into its armband. "Still, that's really helpful. Thanks so much!"

"No need to thank me. These rumors won't be of much help," he said, waving dismissively and sounding a bit exasperated. "So, what's your plan for replying to them?"

"I think I'll go meet all of them," I replied, making him raise an eyebrow. "I mean, the masters included their schedules, and not going, even for just an initial meeting, would be rude, right?" It seemed they had coordinated in advance since all the times they offered were staggered. I’ve already confirmed my attendance.

"Hmm... well, alright," he said, returning to his meal. "Just a chat shouldn't hurt, but sometimes, even the decision to attend certain events can provoke some factions."

I folded my right ear, tilting my head in curiosity, hoping for further explanation.

"Sorry, conflict of interest," Kotetsu senpai said with a small shake of his head. "You'll have to figure it out on your own."

I nodded in understanding and focused back on my meal. I tried to pull the spine out of the fish in one go--and failed.

I noticed Kotetsu senpai stifling a smile, and with mild embarrassment, I scratched my ear and resigned myself to using the knife and fork.

There's always tomorrow.

When I returned to the room, Tadao was already back, sitting at the desk, staring at something.

"Hey," I greeted him first. He glanced at me and raised a hand in response. "How did it go? I didn't see you guys at dinner."

"I suppose it went well enough," Tadao answered after thinking for a moment. "At least for me."

"Oh, that sounds great." I said, imagining all the possible scenarios behind his "at least for me" response. "Congrats on a successful resolution?"

"My Senior Mentor got switched to Hemp senpai," Tadao said, sparking my curiosity and making me wait for his explanation. " Donald refused to spend any energy on me, and he wouldn't cough up any of his points. So, Hemp senpai told that Rottweiler he could shove his points up his own ass, and from now on, I'd be under him." Tadao shrugged and smiled at me. "It felt just like when my parents got divorced."

I wasn't sure how serious he was about that joke or even if he fully understood the concept of divorce, but I went along with his mood and chuckled a few times.

I pulled out my change of clothes, intending to take a shower and then go straight to bed. I hadn't done much today, but I still felt utterly exhausted. I guess this was what they called social burnout?

"Oh, by the way, I think that's for you." Tadao pointed at the wall, and I noticed something--a tube? In the middle of our shared space, at the bottom of the tube, was a semi-transparent capsule. I couldn't tell what was inside, but I could see my name labeled on the capsule.

"Thanks." I thanked Tadao and walked over to the tube. After signing up for it with my biometric data, I opened the capsule. Inside was a small blue pill and a note. Reading the note, I realized it was like a prescription, filled with various warnings and precautions, and a description of the medication's purpose--to prevent the user from entering a state known as Tel'aran'rhiod.

I shrugged. Not seeing any reason to object, I swallowed the pill.

The note also explained that I wouldn't be eligible to apply for a "Dreamwalking" license until my third year and suggested some prerequisite courses.

I'd have to take this for three years, so I decided to review the common side effects once more--constipation--well, maybe I could counter that by eating more vegetables?

I put the empty semi-transparent capsule back at the bottom of the tube, watching it gets sucked away with a soft whoosh, disappearing into the ceiling.

How... retro.

"Richter." Just as I was about to open the bathroom door, Tadao called out to me from behind.

I turned around and saw that he was still sitting in the chair but had turned to face me.

"I'm sorry for earlier... for acting like an asshole," he said quietly, not breaking eye contact. "And for touching your... property without your permission. I'm really sorry."

I hadn't expected him to bring this up; it felt sudden. But I didn't really mind.

"Uh... I think it's no big deal," I said. I wasn't sure how serious these matters were from his perspective, but I didn't care much, especially considering it wasn't me who almost got blown to bits. "But if you could stop acting like an asshole too, I'd appreciate it." I said, my ears flattened.

"I'll do my best." He smiled, which made my tail sway slightly.

Just as I was about to turn away, Tadao continued speaking.

"I know you probably... think Kotetsu senpai is a good person because that's the impression I get too," Tadao said, his tone and expression growing serious. "But you shouldn't trust him too much..." He hesitated for a while, his words coming out in fits and starts. "He's an Altai wapiti. They... are fundamentalists of the Federation."

I tilted my head in confusion, my ears folded back and pointed toward Tadao as I narrowed my eyes.

"I'm a red deer, the most common species in the Federation--but that's not the point." He tapped his chest twice for emphasis. "Red deer--Cervus elaphus--really don't like being mistaken for Altai wapiti because their stance is way too extreme, even for the Federation's nationalists." Tadao's tone became irritating.

"So... does this mean anything?" I wasn't sure where this conversation was headed, so I asked directly.

"He's the Federation's strongest psychic, and you're the Empire's strongest psychic. Does that make sense now?" Tadao crossed his arms, looking increasingly impatient.

"Oh..." I scratched my ear. "But... that doesn't mean anything..."

"Are you telling me Kotetsu senpai didn't show an unhealthy obsession with forging a complete adamantine weapon?" Tadao rolled his eyes at me, and I could only silently accept his statement as fact.

"Then why are you telling me this...?" I lowered my gaze, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "Aren't you also a citizen of the Federation?"

"Because..." Tadao sighed. "I don't know, maybe because... I feel like it's wrong?" He shook his head forcefully. "It's not important. Just remember, the Altai wapiti always have their own agenda."

I wasn't sure how to process this information. I believed Tadao meant well, but I also knew how much damage stereotypes and prejudices could cause. I didn't think I should change my opinion of Kotetsu senpai just because of his race. Even if his actions did seem a bit suspicious... it could simply be that I didn't know him well enough yet.

"That's why I didn't let him know I had seen... all of Gray Snow's memories." Tadao glanced at the sword hanging on the wall. "From start to end, only two psychics have truly touched that sword. One is Qana--the big white wolf." He paused and made eye contact with me again. "The other... is you."

"Oh, isn't that expected?" Doesn't that just mean only we've handled Gray Snow?

"Because Kotetsu senpai is far too interested in complete adamantine weapons--which I can understand, considering herbivores can hardly forge them." Tadao sighed, leaning back in his chair. "So I checked some details with Hemp senpai, including what we talked about at lunch."

I recalled our conversation in the cafeteria. Some details were fuzzy, but I could remember the main points.

"Based on the rules for forging a complete adamantine weapon, the forgers of Gray Snow must be Qana and you." Tadao spoke in a conclusive tone, his brown eyes fixed on me, possibly waiting for a response.

"But..." That didn't make sense. Did I complete my part unconsciously? However, if forging a complete adamantine weapon requires at least two people and only Qana and I had ever touched Gray Snow, then... logically speaking, we must be the forgers. That was the only explanation. "What does that mean?" I finally broke free from my chaotic thoughts and asked the red deer.

"I don't know." Tadao shrugged. "But I thought I should tell you since it's... my fault." He glanced at Gray Snow again.

"Then..." I was just about to touch the bathroom's sliding panel but couldn't resist turning back. "What did you end up seeing?"

Tadao's expression fell. He averted his eyes and turned back toward his desk.

"It's hard to describe... a formless, ever-shifting monster..." he muttered quietly. "I don't know what I saw, but it was terrifying. I can't put it into words."

"Oh, okay." I sighed internally, suppressing my suspicion that he might be lying. "Well... see you tomorrow, then?" I saw that Tadao was shutting down his terminal and appeared to be ready for bed.

He responded and wished me good night before climbing into bed. Once the lights dimmed in the room, I waited a while longer before heading into the bathroom.

It had been a long time since I'd had a proper shower. But I felt like I really needed to remember the sensation of warm water at just the right temperature flowing over every inch of my body, washing away my scattered thoughts and exhaustion.

Lowering my snout, I relaxed my entire body, letting my ears and tail droop naturally as I watched the tiny droplets gather at the tips of my now-soaked fur before falling. Drip, drip, forming momentary ripples on the shallow water pooling on the floor.

I took several deep breaths, letting the misty steam enter my nostrils, soothing the dryness of my snout.

I was so incredibly tired.

I'd forgotten how much I disliked socializing. And all these years without practice certainly hadn't helped.

Political scheming, the undercurrents of power struggles, factional alignments, invitations from masters with unclear motives... It was all so exhausting.

I turned off the water and tilted my snout upward, shaking my head vigorously.

I didn't want to start my new life this way. But... as long as there's interaction, isn't this bound to happen?

With a deep sigh of resignation, I decided that whatever problems there were, they could all wait until tomorrow.

Expanding my consciousness, I dried myself off and got dressed before leaving the bathroom.

Judging from his breathing, Tadao was already asleep. So, I silently slipped into bed, feeling satisfied with its softness and comfort, just as it had appeared.

After adjusting my position, I stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, then decided to follow through with my final plan: closing my eyes into unknow. Perhaps it was the effect of that blue pill, but on this busy night, I quickly fell asleep and slept deeply.