He Came to Stay - 3. Chapter 3

THREE
Mountains of smoky clouds were constantly moving upward from the foothill on this chilly evening in the western breeze dropping the temperature further. After a few indolent appearances the sun retired early. Hardly any stars were visible on the firmament. The entire atmosphere was full of moisture and seemingly was about to burst in tears. As the clouds disappeared for a few moments the yonder hills raised their head against the dark canvas like a known face I had been acquainted with before. In this game of hide and seek you can’t recognize him properly, yet you try your best.

I still remember the last night Ishan spent with me. He was not feeling well and went to bed before me. When I put off the lights and put myself in his blanket he was seemingly fast asleep. When my eyes got accustomed in the darkness of the room I realized that he was not deep asleep by noticing his rapid eye movement in the dim light glowing on the wall behind me. I raised his head from the pillow and put my left arm under it. His head was on my chest. Holding him tight with my right arm I kissed on his forehead. Curiously he didn’t reciprocate this time by placing his hands around me as he always did even in his sleep. But, I am sure his erect tool touched my thigh as I kissed his forehead once again. When he turned around a bit facing the ceiling I could see the erection more clearly. Taking up a pillow he placed it on his lower abs. He may not be sleeping though his eyes were shut. Raising my head I leaned on his face to read out the expression in it. But instead I got immersed in the silent beauty spread all over it overshadowing all other expressions, if there were any. The tightly closed lips were beckoning me like the lid of a jar full of nectars. As I lowered my lips close to his my breathing grew faster. My lips were as close to his face as my breaths could be felt by him if he was awake. To my despair he suddenly turned his back towards me facing the side-wall. I found him stiff when I touched him. I silently removed my hand from him and resting my head on the pillow again I fixed my gaze at the inert blades of the ceiling fan.

I don’t know how long I was standing there besides the railing throwing a bleak look at the empty darkness, wandering in my past. I became alert when Avijit called me from behind, ‘Dada, I thought apples would be cheaper at Darjeeling, but they are not.’ Both Diya and I turned our heads back. Avijit came with a bag full of apples. He knew that I like apples, and considering the condition of my deteriorating health it is not unlikely that a caring guy like him, who is always concerned about me would go all the way to the market form the mall and come up with a few kilos of them. Pointing towards the packet I said, ‘what you have done Avijit! Too many apples…!’ Understanding my unease about these apples he immediately came up with almost a mathematical solution that we were three and we were going to stay at Darjeeling for some days; therefore, they are not really ‘too many.’ He has always been quite argumentative with me. He seldom opens up his mouth before strangers, but in my case he won’t let even a single point taken for granted without a battle. Almost in every case I find myself vanquished after the battle is over, still I enjoy being defeated by him all the time, and also look forward the day when in a national concert he will defeat me with his talent in violin. But as of then I hardly had any strength left in me to give him a good fight. So, I gave him a walkover. He frowned and Diya, who was sitting beside me holding my hands smiled. She said, ‘should we return? It is almost 7 in the evening.’ Agreeing with her I nodded.

It was really freezing out there on the mall. Due to political turmoil very few tourists visit Drjeeling these days. All the tourists having been returned to their places the empty road appeared to be haunted with stray dogs howling behind us. The sky-crapping trees lost their heads in the darkness of that frigid night. Only a faint ticking sound was audible, may be of some insects. I was shivering even in my woolen blanket. Avijit was holding my hand supporting me while we descended at a snail’s pace.

Diya was quiet throughout the evening. Usually she speaks a lot especially while in my company not because she always has something interesting to say but because she finds within her the impetus to say something. ‘Why are you so quiet Diya?’ I asked when she was blankly looking at the dark windowpane. She didn’t reply, instead she asked, ‘How do you feel now Sumanda?’ I summarily replied, ‘It’s better.’ Since Ishan Left my place I developed insomnia and gradually my health deteriorated. The sleeping pills that I was taking regularly had really made me feeble when one day Diya gave me the idea that we should visit some hill station. Originally, Avijit was not included in our plan. But I thought Diya would be in trouble in that unfamiliar hilly region if she would be all alone with an ailing chap; so I asked Avijit to join us. Diya seemed not to be very happy with the proposal. It might have appeared to her that I underestimated her abilities as she emphatically said that she could take care of me and herself. But the gentleman within me somehow prevented me to give her all the trouble and one fine morning we three caught a bus and set off to Darjeeling.

I was lying on bed and Diya tapping the moisture on my face with a piece of cloth. She sat just beside my head and leaned on me as she was trying to examine my pale eyes. ‘You didn’t tell me that you also passed the M.B.B.S. Diya?’ Expressing a lot of annoyance she chuckled, ‘Hahaha! What a bad joke!’ I chortled as I was successful in my intention. I wished the gloom that was gradually condensing in this room should disappear as the darkness of the night swallowed up the rainy clouds in its ravenous all-ingesting hunger. I was proven to be wrong later as it intensified further.

‘What happened to you Diya, you are not talking to me at all’ I murmured. She was silently warming up my hands with a hot bag. Looking at her I urged again, ‘I’m asking you something, please reply.’
–What?
--What has happened to you? Why are you so quiet?
--Nothing, I’m all right. You take care of yourself.
--Don’t try to make a fool of me Diya. Anybody can see that you are not well. Has Avijit said anything?
--No.
--Then?
--What would you do knowing that? I don’t wanna bother you. Don’t you really understand anything?
I didn’t find any word to reply her. ‘Is it absolutely necessary that everything be expressed in words? You are not a child Sumanda!’ she said concealing her tears in her handkerchief. Looking at her impressive eyes I asked, ‘Diya, is it true?’
--Sorry, forget it! I didn’t want to tell you. You shouldn’t take any burden when you are in the bed. It is only because you insisted so much I had to tell you.

Avijit almost thrust himself in when Diya was still leaning on me putting her hand in my blanket giving me a chest massage with a hot-water bag. Her eyes had grown vermillion with tears. She quickly removed her shaky hands from my chest and turned her head around. He looked straight in her eyes and smirked. ‘They will arrange a room-heater. I am going to room 209’ he said picking up the key of the next room where Diya was staying. He left the room immediately closing the door behind him. The huge banging noise that it produced hurt my ailing ears. Diya’s eyes were fixed at the door while she was still sitting like a wax model. The ticking of the timepiece beside my head was the only sound in the surrounding. I don’t know how long we were in that position—Diya looking at the door and me looking at her. Time seemed to have stood still for centuries. She moved her eyes from the door. Her eyes were now on her hands, which were clasped together. She stood up and said, ‘I am sending him back.’ As I didn’t know what to say and how to manage that undesirable situation, I preferred keeping the silence. She left the room and after a while Avijit entered. After changing his dress he sat on the chair beside the mirror set on the wall. The room was quite cold. Perhaps, the room-heater was not working properly. The door bell went on. Avijit opened the door. The waiter entered with another room-heater and a bucketful of warm water. He kept the bucket in the toilet, set the room-heater and went off. Avijit closed the door and sat on the chair again. I asked, ‘why are you sitting there. It is quite cold even in the room.’ He replied, ‘I am okay, don’t bother.’
--Don’t bother? What’s this? Why are you behaving like this?
--I think I shouldn’t have come.
--You didn’t come on your own. I asked for your accompany, that’s why you are here.
--What was the need for me to accompany you? Diyadi was there. She could take care of you. She is quite caring!
--What do you mean? Do you think that we are having an affair?
He didn’t say anything, stood up and abruptly left the room. I tried to contact him over the telephone. But he didn’t receive the call nor even joined us at the dinner. I sent him an SMS, ‘Where r u? plz come back. I m nt supposed 2 stay alone.’ In the darkness I saw the door opening and a shadow figure tiptoeing in. The door closed behind though I could still see in the darkness that the coming closer to me he started inspecting keenly if I was sleeping. I knew it was Avijit. He entered in my blanket, but didn’t say anything. Perhaps he thought I was sleeping. But I sent the SMS just five minutes back! He was facing at the wall. I hugged him and dragging him closer to me I asked, ‘face towards me.’ He complied and hid his face in my chest. ‘I am sorry. I shouldn’t have behaved like that’ he whispered.
--It’s okay! I didn’t mind. Now tell me what was the problem? If you think that we are having an affair then, I must say, you are wrong.
--I can’t bear it anymore.
--Can’t bear what?
--Can’t see you in this condition.
--I am recovering rapidly.
--I am not talking about that.
--Then?
--How long would you live like this? Nobody is there to look after you. I think Diyadi is quite nice to you. She is well educated, good-looking and what is most important….’
He gave a pause. I asked, ‘and what is most important?’
--She loves you.
--How do you know that?
--Anybody can understand. Don’t try to be innocent. Tell me don’t you understand her feelings?
--Come on Avijit! We are just friends.
--Well, I am not talking about your feelings. She loves you.
--I don’t want to know what her feelings about me are. For myself, I see her just as a friend.

That night I found Avijit was cuddling me while his face was close to my chest. Occasionally he kissed my chest in his sleep. His breaths steeped up. Could it be true? I have always found him liking me only as his mentor and a brother. His strange behavior confused me; I hugged him indifferently. When the night deepened its voice of silence I whispered the word ‘Avijit’ close to his ear. The sound seemed to have amplified itself a thousand times and echoed in my ears being repelled by the walls of the room.

(To be continued....)