Lost Souls - 1. Felix Rhodes- Social suicide in the garden of Eden

“Break!”

Coach Newton barked in his deep baritone across the mats.

Felix had enough sweat on him to know he’d been taking far longer than he should on this bulking freshman frame in his grip. It was just a routine practice but he knew better than to let the tadpoles waltz their way onto the team without getting a few bruises.

“Come on Felix that’s three escapes this pansy has on you!”

Felix let the freshman get his wrists firmly on the inside of his cross hold. The freshman now had the advantage. Using his leverage - and Scott’s unwanted distraction, he managed to get away from Felix.

“McLeod!” Newton jumped the junior without having to give him a glance. “Shut it or you’re scrimmaging with varsity tomorrow!”

“Gimme a break coach, Felix is playing footsy with the cute freshmen again” Scott quipped earning a stealthy finger from his best friend on the mat

Scott McLeod, a hulking 6’1” of solid military family muscle was one of the star grapplers on the University of New Hampshire wrestling team. It wasn't enough that he demanded the attention of every girl on campus, but lately, Felix realised that his best friend was getting his attention as well. And as Murphy and his God damn law would have it Scott was demanding that all of Felix be at attention right this instant.

“Rhodes, Collins, I told you two to break an hour ago, does one of you need a foot up an ass for translation!”

After getting into another grapple with Mario, Felix wasn't about to stand upright now; he saw Mario stumble back while trying to shift his weight a bit too quickly. Mario was a good 3 or so inches shorter than Felix but he was built like an ox. Felix took special note of his lower body; calves and thighs built for a sturdy stance.

Hooking a bicep under Mario’s right calf, Felix slid down to the floor bringing Mario down with him.

Need a hold to drag this out. Felix thought between idle flashes of him and Scott tumbling around in a bed

“The fuck is wrong with me?!”

From the puzzled expression he saw on Mario, he figured he said that a bit louder than he should, he didn't care, glad that at least his outburst detracted from the now easing tension in his singlet.

“Get it over with Bro, you've been at this 10 minutes now, Lisa’s waiting for me” Scott smirked while adjusting his crotch in his skin tight white singlet

Fuck! Felix had just scrubbed his mind clean of those damn thoughts.

His long fought internal battle with his sexuality was a taxing thing, but recently he had hoped that it was kept at bay. His crotch begged to differ…

Still, Felix knew he was the pinnacle of the all American jock. Yup, you might be fooled by his school girl crush on his best friend that he was anything but, but that was simply because He respected that command of power, authority and a competitive nature; all those things that were so naturally.. well..

Scott.

Felix wasn't a towering figure like Scott was, at 5’11” he filled out his singlet well with a well-toned chest for a 21 year old, shaven cleaned as he always preferred. His firm fore arms and biceps were currently occupied, wrapped tightly around Mario’s calves and his own body, twisted and face down resulting in a joint locking pin. His trunk like thighs and calves were snug on Mario’s torso, cutting deep into his rib cage. He felt Mario’s breathes shorten and increase in speed.

Finally this little shit is tiring out.

Felix was now fully in control of his bodily functions and ready to get off of campus and into his own shower.

The sound of Newton’s whistle caused the tangled mess on the mats to come undone, Felix now confident that his ample package (at least that’s what he was told) was lying flaccid in his singlet, stood up offering Mario a hand

“Not Bad Collins” Felix pulled the boy up with ease. Mario beamed with pride at the compliment

“Yea, a few more weeks and your faggot ass should be at least able to tackle my haemophilic grandma”

“Fuck you” Mario spat picking up his ear guard from the floor and heading to the showers.

A comment like that would get someone expelled from Durham, but Newton turned a deaf ear to one of his star wrestlers, and the son of the Manchester district attorney. Heck if the rumours were true Mario was fine with getting it up the ass anyway.

“Christ Felix, Do you have to be a dick about shit like that”

Scott, while loud and challenging to Felix, always knew when not to cross the line, he often had to drag Felix out of fights when they were younger or stopped him from picking on kids in high school. Felix knew his best friend wasn’t a saint though, his track record with women made him out to be a walking brothel

Something that Felix really shouldn’t be thinking about while still in his singlet.

“Shut up Scott” Felix said while pushing his best friend’s arm off of him. “I could do without the chastising from the hypocrite”

“Chastising from the hypocrite” Scott repeated in a mocking tone. “Can you stop shoving your 3.8 GPA in my face whenever your vocabulary feels the need to stretch? You know girls hate smart jocks right?”

“I’ve been with Harmony for 2 years now, never heard her lamenting, only you. Is there something you want to tell me Scotty?” Felix feigned facetiousness while pulling away and heading out the gym.

Harmony…

The only woman in Felix’s life that never had an expectation. He had first seen her at a wrestling tourney, she came out supporting her brother in his finals match; a match which he won. He chuckled softly to himself while heading to the gym exit, remembering every profanity that left the opponents mouth and floated across that gym about the referee’s call. Of course Harmony wasn’t impressed, and wasn’t about to have some jerk loud mouth her little brother after he won a well-earned county championship…

“What?!?! no shower today madam?” Scott’s high pitch voice shocked Felix out of his nostalgia. “I can’t believe my eyes “

“I’m warning you pretty boy, I’m in no mood for your bullshit” Felix glared at his best friend from the exit door frame.

“Oh shit. What’s the Umpa Lumpa gonna do now”

“This Umpa Lumpa is gonna bring Lisa with him to Harmony’s Poetry recital this afternoon” the look on Scott’s face was almost enough to cheer him up. “if you’re lost for words big guy, it’s called cock block”

With that Felix strolled out of the gym and into the car park. Slumping down into his blue Ford Ranger XLT with a sigh, he started her up, blasted the AC and just sat there. The dash board read 16:43.

“Scott and his bloody military time, he needs to keep out of my shit” Felix grumbled as he recline the chair and pulled the shoulder straps off his singlet.

Scott was always the tinkerer, pulling down Felix’s toys and games when they were younger. Felix didn’t care, since he was nine his innocent idolism of Scott had turned into a need to get closer to the boy, closer than anyone ever could. It was a sickness really, Felix never allowed a single person near Scott; he would get in fights and tell Scott that whoever he was fighting was talking behind Scott’s back or about his family when really they were kids interested in getting closer to him. Felix would even find excuses to keep Scott away from his friends so they could spend time together; a death in his family, an injury from horsing around, anything that would keep Scott near. Felix knew it wasn’t innocent even then, he knew what he was doing to Scott, lying and harbouring impure urges was never what Scott would have wanted.

And he hated that.

Felix hated what he felt more than anything else in his life. As he grew he learned that the best therapy for his hatred was projection. After he learnt the word gay, he took out his rage blindly at anything that could be clumped into that category. And why shouldn’t he, gay was what stopped him from getting closer to Scott, gay was the evil that clogged the connection, the pure white link that his heart was making to the other boy. If Felix could only reach out and pull away the mesh that covered his heart

The gay

And expose his heart for the fine essence it was, the pure emotion and protective force that he knew Scott could command, he wouldn’t be tormented any longer. But Felix knew he was only lying to himself. To this day he knew the one thing he could never have, the solace of mind that even Harmony could never give him, for as long as he lived he would never be protected from himself.

Pulling a Gronk Pats jersey from the back seat, he chucked it over his head and made the 30 minute journey home from campus. His mother Dr. Channing Rhodes was the DA for Manchester but due to numerous connections, namely Felix’s grandfather, Dr. Rhodes kept her office out of the city, and at her home in the suburbs. She wasn’t a neglectful parent, oh no, she was anything but. Felix got everything that he needed to be perfect in life, and never had an excuse to fail. He didn’t needed to be reminded how lucky he was to have a mother that gave him what he needed, money and an influential family, nope, all Dr. Channing wanted was excellency from her son. An excellence was Felix’s middle name –well that’s what the world thought anyway.

“I’m back” Felix shouted to an empty house “And of course you’re not here.”

He opened the sliding doors to the backyard and walked barefooted across the lawn to the shed. There he went through a ritual that for 4 years, brought calm and sanctuary to his life. First he filled the green watering can to the brim, picked out a few clippers and some gloves and made his way out the shed. Three garden beds waited for him, three rows of Pineapple ginger, red and yellow varieties all in full bloom and maturing beautifully. These ginger plants were his pride and joy; he would sit during the day in spring and watch robins come and go from them, busying themselves not worrying about internal strife or pain, or the tainted love for another (he really knew how melodramatic he was). He carefully pruned each dead leaf and plucked each weed, Felix didn’t care how long it took but he never rushed the time he had alone in his garden, the only time he felt his heart connected to something pure, to the sounds and scents of his garden, and not his connection to Scott.

He finished pruning and watering the 3 ginger beds, placing the tools back in the shed he made his way to the back inside for a well-deserved shower.

“Felix” his mother’s voice wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t what he needed to hear at the moment.

“Hey, I got in about an hour ago”

“I know, I saw you gardening like a landscaper” she chuckled sweetly while stepping closer to her son.

“What am I going to do with you?” brushing a few specs of dirt off his jersey. “Harmony is so lucky to have you. Are you still going to see her poetry reading this evening?”

“Yes, I’ll head over after I get out the shower” gently taking hold of his mother’s wrist and stepping around her to head up the marble lined stairs.

“Excellent, I’ll be in the study if you need me Felix, enjoy you’re evening”

As always Felix didn’t care, right now he wanted a shower and his bed, but he had promised Harmony he would be there, and he was going to keep that promise. He turned on the tap and let the scalding hot water run down his chest and abs; he always preferred really hot water in the shower. He watched as the water cascaded of his flaccid member, memories of Scott’s own sex strained against his singlet pulsed through his head. He reached down and rocked his head back into the shower jets. Every inch of his best friend was perfect; he imagined that perfection between his own solid thighs, and Scott’s cheeky smile inches away from his own

“You need to stop this” he moved his hand from his hardening member and grabbed for his Axe body wash.

“I’m in love with Harmony, and she can’t get enough of me, let me just get the fuck outta here and pick up my girl”

Felix hurriedly showered and dressed, grabbed and apple from the fridge and marched out the door to his truck. Upset that even his home couldn’t shelter him from his perversions, he made his way to the only thing he knew could…

Pussy.

Wassup guys.  
I'd like to introduce you to Felix, he's very dear to my heart, as are all of the characters i will write about.  Felix's story is one of 6, of which i will be writing 3 and a friend of mine will be writing the other 3.  All will be posted under my pen name Scarab but we figured mixing up the writing style would add to the chaotic nature of this epic saga. Sins of Six took some time but its finally here, 
hope you enjoy what's coming