Lost Souls - 4. Felix Rhodes: Lottery Tickets in the Bermuda Triangle

“Harmony! In front you, jump!” Harmony hurdled over a thicket of fallen pine and fir; the branches were hardened and mangled jutting out like knives from the ground. The forest floor was littered with them.

5 gruelling minutes had passed, and all 5 of their paces were steady.

Damn it. Felix thought Why couldn’t the fat ones chase after us instead.

He wasn’t worried about fatigue, he was in prime condition, and Harmony could out run him, out sprint him and even out last him in bed. Actually, he couldn’t remember ever beating her in a single sprint after they had started training together 2 years ago and she had loss weight.

They would have been by Lisa's car by now had not for a fallen Douglas Fir blocking the fastest path to the car. It was a trail that lead through the woods to a side road to the Bridges, many people didn’t know about it or take it very often. But Scott and Lisa often came out here to ‘enjoy the evergreens.’ Lisa knew there was a way to get to Bridges from the side road and probably didn’t want to risk meeting a full parking lot up the hill.

Felix looked back and saw the three guys jumping over a couple more thickets, the only sense of direction he and Harmony had was forward, uncertain even where that would bring them. Up ahead was a thick fern overgrowth, he could smell the sharp tannins all around him, under normal circumstance he would have felt totally relax.

Harmony pressed through the Maiden Hair fern, their tiny black stems entangling her hair and fingers, but not so much to hinder her movement. The overgrowth blocked out what was left of the sunlight, it was dangerously dark now, and Felix felt an urge to lead Harmony by the hand.

“Felix” harmony panted in front of him, “my legs…I.. I can’t keep this up much longer”

Felix thought through his options, he couldn’t let harmony run ahead, there was no way he could stop all three of them. The overgrowth was thick and dark but they couldn’t hide, the guys were too close behind him. There was nothing they could do but continue to run, a wave of depression suddenly hit him.

This is my fault, my fears, my insecurities. He flooded his mind with pleasant memories of Harmony as if he were stockpiling before a storm.

**********************

Felix didn’t mean to come on so strongly to the girl all those months ago, he saw in harmony what he knew Scott had seen in him

someone to protect.

Now they were in his garden after the Helicona sprouts had died, he should have known better than to plant tropical plants in New Hampshire. He stared over at what Harmony had become, 8 months and she was stunning, she wore a sundress today her breast filled out the daisy pattern to the top perfectly, showing enough cleavage to make a few cardinals in the garden blush. Her stomach was trimmed and flat, and because of her previous size, she had wonderful curves and beautiful thighs that poked out of the bottom of the dress.

“what are you staring at” Harmony smiled catching Felix in the act.

Felix really had no sexual attraction to the girl, he was proud of her transformation he wanted to be there for her, protect her, be a friend to her. Maybe it was some misguided notion but that’s what he saw in her. It was becoming apparent that Harmony expected more

“bugs” Felix stated flatly

“bugs?!” Harmony squinted “you’re staring at bugs?”

“yeah, I saw a few wasp over the hedge, I wanted to make sure they weren’t coming this way” Felix ducked his head back into the bed, and removed some weeds. Harmony sighed, she reached over took one of Felix’s gloved hands and placed it over her chest.

“I doubt these will sting you”

Felix’s eyes were wide and he felt a rush going to his head... Sadly that rush didn’t go south. He knew he had to play the part though, his teammates were asking questions about him and his ‘friend’ and word was getting around to most of the other jocks on campus about harmony’s transformation and how Felix had her around his fingers.

Felix held her shoulders and closed the gap between them, Harmony’s eyes were locked onto his and he felt her heart beat pulsing through her body. She held out a hand, palming his bare chest, her index finger slipping between the cleft of his pecs and down to his abs.

Felix felt her lips on his, soft, moist and trembling with desire

but it wasn’t what he wanted.

He wanted years of passion crashing onto him, pinning him to the prickly lawn grass. He wanted callous hands and a body rivaling his own squarely over him, fighting for his submission. He needed to feel Scott’s sex against his own, grinding slow circles and kissing him with their combine need and repression...

Felix made love to her that afternoon in the middle of his garden.

He heard her moans, and felt her soft body react to the movement of his ridged musculature. He saw her eyes glisten over with pain and contentment as he filled her body and took control of her thoughts. His however were somewhere else, his thoughts raced through every detail of Scott. Scott’s developed calves that he was sure would make any sprinter jealous, his 8 pack and the groves that lined them. Felix swam in his thoughts until he was spent, and rolled off of Harmony.

“that was worth the wait” she chuckled

“it was” Felix responded thoughtlessly. “we should get cleaned up and put some clothes on.

“hahaha , you know, I almost forgot where we were” she hooked an arm around Felix, “let’s go”

****************

“Follow me Harmony” It was only a flicker in his peripheral vision but he knew what he saw, and it made sense.

Felix bounded to the left of the trail clearing the branches as best as he could for Harmony to follow. Up ahead was a flat roofed cabin, Felix knew it to be a tool and equipment house for the old logging company that operated up here. It was a large company that made a small fortune from the exclusive ‘rights’ they had to the evergreens in this area; that was until the residents in the neighboring towns had their say. The logging was disturbing the Barred Owl population and causing them to venture in to the city with increasing frequency, that coupled with the fact that the prestigious company wasn’t allowing locals into its work force caused them to be quickly ran out of town; courtesy of some handy work by his mother. It was through her that he remembered this outhouse, she was mentioning it recently in conference calls with the rangers designated for the area, but he couldn’t remember exactly what it was about.

They closed in on the massive Purple Heart door, it took up at least one quarter of the north facing side of the structure.

“Harmony get in!” Felix pulled the heavy door open; he looked back and saw the three guys closing in on them with increased urgency.

“Felix what are you doing?”

“Buying us time”

“What? We can’t stay in here”

“I know” Using both hands Felix slammed the sturdy door close and slid the wooden panel locks into place. A quick glance around the room and he noticed two things. One it was empty- probably why the door was open and two there was no back door, no way out not even a window. He wasn’t sure if he should be happy about that right now.

“I know we can’t stay here, but we can at least get help, call Lisa let her know what’s up, I’ll call the police”

BANG

The first of several thuds were muffled by the large door; Felix wasn’t worried, he knew the three of them would need to do a lot more than bang into the frame to get in here.

“God, she’s probably panicked” Harmony said while taking out her phone and hitting her friend’s number. Felix was surprised his phone was getting signal out here; he dialed the cops grudgingly, thinking up the best story that wouldn’t include that half dead man he left back at the bar.

What was I thinking. He let out an audible sigh. Harmony looked at him worried, she couldn’t imagine what he would tell the police but she knew as well as he did it was important for someone to be out here with them.

“Harmony, oh my God where are you?” Lisa voice was panicked through the ear piece

“Lisa Listen to me, that scuffle at Bridges turned out a lot worse than we thought”

“What do you mean, are you hurt? God if that asshole put you in danger again” Harmony waved off her friend’s tone towards Felix.

“No, we are both fine… for now at least.” She looked over to Felix in deep conversation on his phone. “Look, we were chased; we’ve been running for almost 10 minutes through the woods Felix led us to an outhouse out here”

“Oh my God Harmony, what do those guys want from you?”

“Felix thinks the worst and I’m inclined to believe him” Harmony saw Felix give her an encouraging nod after getting off with the phone. “We are basically trapped in here”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Felix already called the police, maybe you can confirm that we are being chased, I don’t know maybe it will drive home the gravity of the situation if they get multiple reports.”

Felix walked over to Harmony, yes, he was impressed with what she became. Confident and collected and in control of the presence which he always knew she could command but Felix saw more. Harmony’s voice was steady and reassuring but he saw her hands trembling as they always did when she was afraid. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around her, gently taking the phone as he did.

“Lisa?”

“Felix? I swear to God you asshole, what the fuck did you get her into?”

Much like harmony Felix ignored her feisty tone

“Listen, are you still by Scott? I think what Harmony said was best, call the police and confirm that we are held up in the cabin by some guys that came after us”

“I already called the police Scott told me to before he left. He’s gone Felix, Scott’s gone, he went after you at the Bridges”

“WHAT!! Damn Lisa I told you to keep him in the dark”

“what the fuck did you expect me tell him??!!” Lisa retorted just as bitterly, “from the moment he saw me he knew something was wrong, add that to the fact that I was driving your truck..”

Fuck I should have thought of that, Scott knows I would never let her drive my baby

Felix sighed and brought the phone back to his ear “When did he leave and what did he say he was doing?”

“he left about 5 minutes ago or less, I don’t really know, I’ve never seen him so annoyed before”

annoyed?

“Lisa exactly what did you tell him?”

“I told him you laid into a guy at the Bridges and that you tossed down Harmony”

Could this girl be any more dense?! Scott knew about his blackouts, maybe he would have put two and two together and come up with the wildest explanation possible. None of that mattered though, if Scott was on his way to the Bridges four guys would be there waiting for him if he started asking the wrong questions.

Felix released an audible sigh and handed the phone back to Harmony.

“What” Harmony mouthed silently at Felix. She looked a little more in control of herself now.

“Nothing, I need to call Scott, just talk to her… or not, it’s up to you”

Felix moved to the opposite end of the outhouse and watched Harmony do the same on the far side; they both slumped down to the floor.

BANG

The goons outside probably couldn’t believe a Purple Heart door could deny them. He chuckled to himself. “Their shoulders will cave before that door does”

Felix took out his phone and dialled the number; he was already dreading this conversation.

“Felix, Felix?? Are you there”

“yeah man, where are you”

“I’m almost there, hang on... should only take a few more minutes”

“no.. no you can’t go to Bridges”

“what, what do you mean can’t go. Where are you”

Felix sighed, he could hear Scott’s temper “I’m not at the bridges, but I’m with Harmony she’s safe.” Felix looked across at Harmony she too was in deep conversation with Lisa.

“ok fine, and I’m glad to hear she’s ok, I couldn’t believe what Lisa told me, what were you thinking man?”

“I wasn’t really, that’s the problem, this whole thing is my fault I let m…”

“no shit genius. Look don’t explain, I already have a good idea about what might have happened, if it really was Travis as Lisa told me I could figure what he might of said.”

“what?” Felix felt a little stir in his stomach and swallowed

God, I hope Scott hasn’t been hearing this shit too.

“what do you mean you might have known?”

Scott rolled his eyes before replying, “never mind that” Felix was building up his paper walls again. “just tell me where you are”

“look Scott I don’t wa…”

“FELIX SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” Scott had enough of his pity and self-destructive bullshit, it was time to level with his best friend. “why on earth do you keep doing this to me”

“Wa...what? Scott what are yo..”

“you, know what I’m talking about Felix, it’s just another one of the things you chose to file away in that painfully transparent vault of yours” Scott pulled the Tacoma over to the bay before continuing.

“Do you really think I never knew what you did”

Felix’s eyes shot open, a thousand possibilities where running through his head but they were all tethered by the same rope.

“it was never protection Felix, I knew that, you wanted to keep me locked away, you’re personal token of everything you wished you could be, that you wish you could have. I never hated you for that, when we were kids, there was nothing better than the feeling I got knowing you wanted me to be yours.”

Felix stared blankly across the cabin, moisture welling up in his eyes.

“Scott..”

“No! You’re going to let me finish bro” Scott clenched the phone in his hand and controlled his breathing. “Every day I felt closer to you, you were giving me the confidence bit by bit without even knowing but when we got into high school you changed”

Somewhere in his mind Scott figured this wasn’t the place or the time but he was feeding into Felix’s impulsive nature now and this was long overdue between the two of them.

“You changed Felix” his voice was softer now. “In high school you started lashing out, and in one direction in particular. It was this… this unhealthy stream of self-hatred, I knew it was that I saw the pain on your face after you did what you did, but it wasn’t only what you were doing to yourself. You grew cold and distance towards me, and then there was Harmony.

Felix cringed; he was beginning to understand what Scott was getting at, years of repression was ebbing painfully slowly down his cheeks.

“I didn’t know what to think about her, all those years of me getting closer to you were slowly eroding away. The bullying stopped me from even thinking about opening up.

Opening up? Maybe it was the confusion or the flood of emotions going through him but Felix felt a tingle in his heart from those two words. He dare not speak until Scott was finish though.

“but Harmony, Harmony was different, she was innocent, she cared for you.” Scott let out a sarcastic snort. “I guess that’s what drove me into me into being a whore.”

Harmony got off the phone, she saw Felix’s teary eyes and closed the gap between them

“What’s wrong?” Felix lifted a finger to her lips shaking his head and shushing her. He needed to her what the other man had to tell him.

“I guess I needed a distraction, a way to forget about you, and how you were dragging both of our hearts through the mud.” Scott continued, more agitated now. “How could you do this us Felix? You were always afraid, afraid to lose, afraid to be hurt, afraid of people who you couldn’t control… afraid to show me how yo…”

Scott stopped himself, no; he didn’t need to bring what he desperately wanted into this. This wasn’t about him he would be content just clearing the air and starting new.

“say it” It was almost a whisper through the phone, but Scott heard it, and immediately felt his chest tighten.

Harmony heard it too, and she saw it, she saw the look on Felix’s face, a blank expression, and his lips barely moving.

“Say it Scott?” Felix was more forceful now “you’ve come this far, you’ve pulled up every buried fragment of sanity I kept hidden from this world and this sickness, don’t leave it out to rot now. SAY IT!”

Harmony knew he was talking to Scott, she also knew that when it came to the two of them where she stood. But she just couldn’t believe this was happening now.

“Don’t make me beg” Felix was on the verge of sobbing

“you were afraid to show me your love Felix, afraid to love me and afraid to let me love you”

Scott said it calmly and without a hitch in his voice. Felix tried to shut the world out by closing his eyelids as tightly as he could.

“how long have you known,”

“Known?!” Scott chuckled “there was never a moment in my life where I doubted what I felt for you, sure you forced me away and I respected your… phase but I never turned my back on you.”

“Are you saying I did?” Felix shot back while standing up. “do you think I abandoned you, that I shut you out and turned my back on us?”

Scott could sense Felix’s walls before he started building them. “No Felix that’s not what I’m saying. Look, do you think Harmony and I were oblivious to your pain?”

Felix looked over to Harmony and instinctively held her hand

“What I went through was my own doing, it had nothing to do with anything you or Harmony did to me”
“you’re wrong Felix, God you can be so dense” Scott was trying to be patient with him but he knew he would rather get to the man and have this conversation in person.

“every kid you bullied, every lie you told, it hurt us, your denial pained us as much as it affected you. You think I don’t know about your blackouts? I know Felix, I know they are a product of constant denial of your feelings and as you clearly saw tonight its dangerous. It’s time to let it go bro; it’s time to accept what we could be.”

Felix couldn’t believe what he was hearing, how on earth did this evening turned out like this. He felt warm and hopeful, could things really change? Was this really the end to years of suffering and pretending? He spared a glance to Harmony, next to his side like she often was, her expression was unreadable as she took the cell from his hands.

“Scott?”

“Harmony? What happened to Felix?”

“He’s next to me, I just felt the need to step in, you two went off on some sort of tangent just now.” She let out a nervous chuckle.

“Sorry about that, it wasn’t meant to happen like this, none of it, and you were never meant to get caught up in the cross fire”

“As I told Felix, I’m going to tell you, none of this is your fault, or his and Felix and I are not a mistake. You know I love him right?”

“I do”

“And you know that when someone truly loves someone they can tell the nature and vector of their heart.

“Harmony?”

“What I mean to say is that I knew how Felix felt, I already told him today”

“I see, what does this mean for Felix and I?”

“I love him Scott” Harmony said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And he loves me, maybe not with the desire and passion that he does you, but he still does.”

“Harmony” Scott began in a sulking tone

“Don’t pity me Scott. I told you Felix and I are not a mistake” Harmony smiled while looking at Felix. He had a confused look on his face as he scanned the room; she waved it off and continued on. “You are important to him so you are important to me, it’s as simple as that and for now that’s all we need to talk about”

“hmph, Agreed.” Scott said a bit reluctantly re focusing on the task at hand. “Now tell me where the hell are you guys?”

“In a cabin, well Felix calls it an outhouse, or something like that. I’m pretty sure it’s about 10 minutes south of the Bridges.

“I know what you are talking about” Scott made an illegal U turn out of the bay. “it’s used as a warehouse for the district rangers, they stockpile fuel and tools in there for control burning and what not.”

“well there’s nothing in here now”

Felix knew that smell but he couldn’t pin point it. The banging had stopped, probably a while ago but he was caught up with the phone and harmony with him. Now he smelt… something.

“Yeah, probably not” Scott continued “there has been a few break-ins or something, I’m not sure but the place was cleaned out, I think Felix’s mom was involved in the case”

Just then the sound of a fast building fire filled the cabin.

“What the fuck was that?” Scott demanded

Harmony dropped the phone in shock; she looked to Felix to see the same terror in his eyes.

No, please God no. Harmony’s eyes quickly darted from Felix to the door in panic

They heard the all too familiar sharp crackles next, that coupled with the sudden heat confirmed their fears.

Felix rushed to hold her, she was breathing frantically, showing all the panic that he masked. Mentally he was kicking himself, how could he not recognize the scent of gasoline, there must have been canisters outside. He wrapped his arms around Harmony tighter and they both slowly fell to the ground.

“Harmony?” Felix lifted her eyes to meet his, tears ran down both of their cheeks, they exchange a silent reality that could have shook the world,

“I’m so sorry”

things are heating up for Felix, his chapter is coming to and end soon 
sorry for the late submission, Friday was Barbados's Independence day (46 years we are still a baby) celebrations were in order