Test Subject #00001 - 3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.0

Cautiously, I approached the next test chamber. The test chamber information sign (which I had named myself) switched itself on as I came toward it. On it, was the number 02 and there were the first two hazard symbols I recognised from test chamber 01. So more cubes and buttons? Also, there was another sign beneath it, which seemed to be suggesting that a stick figure is flying through above the ground. Another hole was on the ground beneath it. If the holes were portals, then what does this mean?

Curious, I turned and approached the entry door, and it switched open.

"In this test chamber, you will receive a new testing device that you will use to solve the tests. Retrieve it using your testing knowledge and listen to further instructions as they come."

A new testing device? Interesting. I looked ahead of me and saw a container made of glass. In it, was this strange contraption hoisted on a podium. On closer inspection, I noticed the container had a square hole in the centre on each side, except the side facing me. There were also three small buttons on podiums in front of the glass box. I looked around and noticed two other glass sections with square holes in line with those to the ones on the glass box. In one section to the left, was a cube. In the other, was the button, which somehow triggered the glass box in the middle of the room. Another glass section with a square hole lined up was at the back of the room, and I noticed an exit symbol pointing right inside of it. My eye caught an orange portal on the wall to my left, but it seemed the blue portal wasn't activated yet, because it was closed. Okay...

So I had to get the cube on the button, which will do something to the glass box. I need to open the portals, but how? The small buttons lined up in front of the glass box stared expectantly at me. I'll push one of them first. Going for the middle one, I pressed it. Immediately, the strange contraption on the podium in the glass box swivelled clockwise. I watched it morbidly as it stopped, facing the back glass section. And then it fired a mass of blue energy through the two square holes, until it landed on the white panelled wall in the back glass section, next to the exit symbol. Oh...

So this was the device Siri was talking about. It looked very interesting. I wanted to have it. Which I believe where this puzzle was heading. I now understood what the button's purpose was, so I pressed the left one. Instantly, the device rotated left and fired another blue portal. The other blue portal was now gone. Instead, the blue portal was in the glass section with the cube. So that means...

I turned my head to the Orange portal. And through it, I could see part of the cube. Yes! I excitedly ran over to the portal, jumped through it, and came to the cube. Then I remembered. Oh great, more heavy lifting. Just what I need. But this time, I didn't care so much. I heaved the cube through the portal until it was just outside the Orange portal. Next, I turned to the remaining button I hadn't pressed. Once the device had fired a blue portal in the glass section with the button, I hauled the cube into the portal again and triumphantly dumped it on the button.

Instantly, a hissing sound was heard, and I turned my eyes to the glass box with the device. The glass walls themselves were lowering into the ground, exposing the device to the chamber. Ecstatically, I jumped through the portal and approached the device.

"Excellent. This device is the Aperture Science Hand-held portal device. This device will allow you to position portals where authorised. With such great technology however, comes great consequences. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in water. Do not..."

Okay, so I tuned out to Siri droning lecture. I was just excited about this portal device. I reached out and lifted it from the podium. At the front of it were some intricate extensions which looked like a claw. In the middle was a hole. At the back was a larger hole, which confused me for a short time until I put my right arm into it. Surprisingly, it comfortably fitted onto my arm, and I felt three triggers at the end with my fingers. One felt warm, one felt cool and the other was neutral.

"Please note that these warnings were for the safety of you, and most importantly, for the safety of the device. If you would like to know how much this gun is actually worth, Aperture Laboratories can now confirm that it is more valuable than the vital organs of the total population of (Subject Hometown here)."

Well that's putting it in a certain perspective. So this gun is really expensive? And she's simply handing it to me. Odd.

I returned my attention to actually getting out of the chamber. I hadn't been inside the back glass section yet so if I press this warm button...

Instantly, I felt a shuddering jolt as the gun fired an orange mass of energy through the square hole and onto the wall, where the orange portal landed. Well that was fun. And very useful. I realised I didn't give a proper blue portal so I fired one on the wall behind me and stepped through it. Now, I was I the glass section. The exit symbol pointed toward a hallway. This is far too easy. A new sense of anticipation and excitement filled up inside me, even when I spotted the camera at the corner of the hallway. The hallway itself turned right and I came to an outer region.

I was standing near a ledge. Over the ledge, there was quite a large fall toward...nothingness. A bottomless pit. Just that blue fog I saw on the way toward the first test. So I probably shouldn't jump down to it then. I looked up and saw those distant shapes I'd seen earlier. They seemed to be closer this time, and the blue lights were still there. They seemed to form a square, so that I was in the inside of it. I looked up to the left and saw another ledge with the exit door. So that's where I had to go. But how?

For the next hour, I stood there staring at the ledge, thinking about how on earth I would get there. At one point, a stroke of genius ignited when I tried to portal up there. But the portals didn't work, they just kinda deflected off the wall in a shower of orange energy. Slumping to the floor, I put my head to my arms. This wasn't going to work. I'd been there for ages trying to work out how to get up to the exit door. It frustrated me like anything. I wish there was a cheat. I put my head to the side and looked over at the bottomless pit of blue fog. Maybe I should jump down...

And then something caught my eye far below, and I looked closer. It was a white square or panel you'd expect to see on the wall lying face up toward me. I guessed it was a fifty meter drop to it. Do I have to go down there? I cast my eyes up and for the first time, spotted something different about one of the array of blue lights lined on the rectangular surface in the distance. It wasn't there, instead it was part of an outstretched arm, as if it were the elbow holding up another white panel. So these blue lights must help to hold walls and panels in place, or even maybe move if they have to. Then I realised what the distant objects were — other testing chambers! Or so I thought they were. All this time, I've been solving chambers held by blue lights and support beams. Fascinating. But how do I solve this test?

Well this outstretched panel is on a roughly 30 degree angle to the roof. It faces the exit door. I fire an Orange portal at it and it appears on the panel. So it also allows portals. The panel fifty metres below me must do too. I test this out and it works. Then I remember the other hazard sign I saw on the test chamber information sign. The one with the stick figure flying through the top portal. I relate it to this situation. I can literally feel the gears grinding in my head. And then it clicks. In order for my me to reach the exit door, I have to fly through the Orange portal on the top panel. So I have to get some momentum. How do I do that? Hello, fifty metre drop here. It sounds so simple and is probably the best plan I've ever come up with. This has got to this work.

If only I had the guts to jump off the side.

C'mon, I can do this. Dignity, remember? I can't have dignity if I can't solve the second test. It's just a falling jump, it'll be fun. Don't think about the bottomless pit or missing the portal because that's not going to happen. Let's do this, jump dammit, jump.

And then I did.

I felt the air flash past me as I fell. The mouth of the blue portal rapidly grew and before I knew it, I had passed through it and I was literally airborne. I only got my bearings three seconds before I hit the ground. I was far too traumatised to scream. And then my legs hit the hard surface, but surprisingly without injury or pain. I rubbed my eyes and blinked. Looking around, I realised I'd done it. My plan had worked! And now the exit door clicked open.

"You flew through those portals with such speed that it exceeded my comprehension of what was happening. For the purposes of accurate testing, I need you to do that again."

What!?

"Oh never mind, I've just received the video recordings. Head on to the next test while I play them in slow motion."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but did Siri just make a joke!? That was so weird, yet funny. So I headed toward the next test, walking through the grill and down into the elevator. Apart from that terror of being airborne above a bottomless pit, this place is actually pretty cool. Of course this is only the first two tests. Who knows how many more they are? Oh that's right, Siri will know.

And down the elevator went.

After a minute, it reached the next level. Stepping out, I made my way up the stairs and to the test chamber information sign. As you'd expect, there was a 03 largely displayed on it. But it also had three unfamiliar hazard symbols. One looked like a line coming from or going into a weird shape I couldn't describe. The other included what happens when the stick figure touches the line. And apparently, that might be dangerous. Also, it had a line turning right at a 90 degree angle. At the turn was a square with a circle covering most of the face.

Interesting.

"This next test involves using the Aperture Science thermal discouragement beam. Want to know why it's called a 'thermal discouragement beam?' Funnily enough, it's because it discourages test subjects. I don't know why. It only sears flesh and causes serious burns. Which is where the 'thermal' part comes in."

Thermal discouragement beam? I haven't even looked inside the chamber yet and I'm already discouraged! I guess that's what the line is. There's only one way to find out.

I cautiously walked into the chamber. It looked pretty much the same as the other ones. White panelled walls (which I now know are held by separate panels with arms), window over there, camera here. But there were two things that were very different. 1. The exit door was 6 metres above the ground and 2. There was a laser beam shooting out from this black object on the wall to my left. Okay...how on earth am I going to get up to that door? Design flaw? Maybe I should ask...

I turned to the camera next to me.

"Uh, whoever's there, the exit door is really high above the ground. It's impossible to get up there. Can you help me?"

The camera stared back at me.

Well that was helpful. I sighed and looked up at the exit door, hands on my hips. Never mind, I'll have to figure that out later. I turned towards the laser beam. At the far wall, a black...I don't even know what that is. I'll call it an emitter. The emitter was emitting the laser beam straight across the room, right until bring stopped short by the wall next to me. Underneath it was a button, from the cube and button challenge. Except there's no cube. Or is there? I looked around and spotted a vent ready to drop a cube on the right of the chamber. Walking towards it, it released the object. As it fell, I noticed it looked different from the other cube I was used to dealing with. And it definitely didn't sound like a normal cube when it crashed to the ground. Instead of a metal CLANK, it made a sort of hollow CLOONK sound. It also had a glass inside, with circular faces on each side. Odd. What could I do with this? I hope it's not as heavy as the normal cube.

Then by pure mistake, I pressed the neutral trigger inside the portal gun I was carrying. A buzzing whir started and I nearly screamed in fright. But then I saw the cube had lifted from the floor and was in the grasp of the portal gun, held by some static power. Oh. I smiled at my portal gun. Where have you been all this time? I had to lift heavy cubes and you weren't there.

I carried the cube over to the laser. So perhaps it goes on the button, and maybe the cube blocks the laser? Let's see what happens. With another press of the trigger, the static energy ceased and the cube fell on the button. Immediately, the laser changed direction, turning 90 degrees towards me. I squealed with shock and jumped backwards. I swear, that beam was this close to touching me. After I got over my fright, I studied what the cube had done. Like the hazard symbol had suggested, it turns the direction of the laser. Science is proud of me. I turned to the exit door. It was open, with that Orange tick triumphantly standing beside it. If I only I could get to it...but how?

That's when I saw the black object across the room. It was like the emitter, except more circular. It nearly looked like a port-hole. Connected to it was the blue dotted line. I followed it with my eyes, and found that it stopped short on the ground, directly underneath the exit door. I wonder what that does. But what is the port-hole? Something must go into it to trigger what it's connected to. A portal? I attempted the idea but it failed in a shower of blue. So that didn't work. What will though? Cube? No, terrible idea. What about...the laser? Now there's something.

I looked behind me at the laser's new direction. It was hitting the right wall uselessly. So how do I redirect it so that it hits the porthole? A moment of thought lasted for about a few minutes. Aha! Turn the cube around! I marched over to the cube, carefully stepping over the laser beam and picked it up with my portal gun. Then I simply turned the cube around until the laser was hitting the porthole. A satisfying sound was heard, like volts of energy powering up. In that instant, a panel was lifted from the floor. It rose up and up and then stopped just at the open exit door. Perfect! Except for one tiny detail.

I'm supposed to be on it!

The moment of exhilaration deflated like a popped balloon into the contempt of frustration. I groaned in irritation and stared harder at the elevated panel. So I had to be on the panel before it lifted. But who's gonna be there to turn the cube? There must be some other way. Think, think, think.

I stood there for what seemed like ages, looking at everything back and forth, over and over. Cube goes on button to open door. Cube turns laser. Laser goes into porthole. Porthole lifts panel to door. Me on panel. Portal gun shoots portals. Wait...

If I shoot some portals on the wall, will the laser go through them? They must do. They've got to. I repositioned the laser so that it was on the 90 degree angle it was on before. Then I portaled over to the now descended panel because I was too lazy to walk. I mean, why walk when you've got the ability to make portals. Hello? So that's what I did, and I stepped onto the panel which was now at its original height, level with the floor. Okay. So if I shoot an orange portal facing the black port-hole across the room...great, and if I shoot a blue where the laser hits the wall...

In the split-second instant when the blue portal splashed onto the wall, the laser connected with the port-hole. The panel rose even as I was jubilantly standing on it. Yes! I did it! Then the panel jolted to a stop before the exit door, which shook my balance. Joy turned to terror as I stumbled backwards, lost my footing and fell.

Straight to the ground.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!" I screeched, falling fast.

Milliseconds before hitting the ground, instincts took control and I landed on my feet. There was no pain, no discomfort, apart from the sudden stop. Oh god, that was terrifying. I'm never doing that again. And now I have to get myself up again. Maybe I can cheat and just put a portal directly beside the exit door, even though the panels around it are dark. I shot a blue portal but it funny work. So I can shoot portals on some surfaces such as white panels, but not dark panels. Interesting. I shot a blue portal somewhere else and the elevated panel descended. After that, I stepped back on it and went through the procedure of making the panel rise again. When I did, I held on tight all the way to the open exit door. I'd made it.

"I've just checked the requirements for this test chamber. It doesn't give any mention of falling hopelessly from the victory lift. So losing balance doesn't give you any merit. It was some good entertainment though."

Does Siri seriously think this is funny? Ugh! It's official. I hate her so much.

And with that, I reached the elevator and the barriers hissed closed behind me. Down we went. I hate her, I hate rising panels, I hate them tests but most of all I hate what this place has done to me. But I'll get my revenge. Nobody messes with me. They'll see.

Not now, but later.