Test Subject #00001 - 6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.0

After the events of the previous test chamber, I didn't think that anything could get any worse. I was wrong of course.

When I recovered from my brutal dive out of the falling apart chamber, I had got myself into the elevator which dropped me down to the next chamber. When I arrived, Siri's voice cut through the air.

"I must apologise for that small mishap in that last test. This one should be much better."

Small mishap!? I nearly died in a collapsing room full of deadly pools and laser fields and she's calling it a small mishap!? I don't want to think about what she might view as a serious problem...

Nevertheless, standing around in frustration won't get me out of here, so it's off to the next test.

Seriously though, I nearly got killed back there. Killed! So much for that stupid Science safety initiative Siri mentioned before. It's bull. I think I deserve a break. After this test, I'm getting a damn break! Or at least a nap. I hope this place has bathrooms too because I'm gonna soil myself soon if I hold on.

The big chamber info sign flashed to life.

06

I gazed at the test number, then down at the small little hazard signs to look at what I'd be expecting in this chamber. Oh look at that, more lasers. And would you believe it, there's another pool of death there too. Fan-bloody-tastic. There was something else I saw too which looked foreign to me. A stick figure on some kind of bridge, with a portal on the wall and the bridge going through it. Fascinating.

I turned and walked into the chamber. Inside, I scanned the room, noticing how the room had a high ceiling, the floor was level, apart from a section along the wall to the left which looked like another canal of you-know-what branching off from the main room. Then I saw the laser, which was surprisingly close to the edge of the canal. And another surprise was that it was directly hitting the porthole, and it was activating...the exit door. Which was up above the ground. I bet I know what this means... but I'll reserve that for later. I looked up and saw a blue...blue...what the hell is that? It looked like a glowing blue plank, stretched right out across the chamber, and it led into that canal. Very strange. Then I recalled that unfamiliar hazard symbol. This must be it. So I've gotta get up on there? Let's give it a try.

Shooting a portal above it, I shot the other one the wall beside me and landed on my feet on the blue plank, above the chamber. Well that seemed to work. Looking ahead, I saw that there was some kind of corridor heading toward somewhere, and it's entrance took up the length of the room, with that murky sewer pool starting before it and leading down the corridor beneath the blue plank. And I started to walk. It was nearly like skidding or skimming across ice, it sure sounded like it anyway! A plank isn't the best way to describe this actually...it's more like a path that flys over the room...a bridge sounds better. A blue bridge. A blue bridge which feels like your skimming on ice and has no side railings or supports at all. At least it's not as dangerous what's down there in that pool, the pool that can eat metal cubes in an instant. But seriously, what actually eats metal? Doesn't acid only do that?

Oh, so that's what it is...

Well no wonder the hazard symbols told me not to swim in it. Or drink it. That stuff is lethal. And I'm directly above it on a blue bridge which feels like skimming on ice and oh did I mention it has no safety wires or supports or anything?

Yeah nice job on safety, Siri. There's no way I'm even remotely going to die if I lose my footing on this metre width of space. Maybe it's best if I don't think about that at all.

I looked ahead still to see the bridge had come to an end at a white panel. The corridor itself had a 90 degree turn to the left, and the acid canal had followed suit. But not the bridge. I could tell I needed to follow the corridor, look there's a damn arrow on the wall pointing to where the corridor was going to prove it! I looked down it and noticed it turned left again metres away, to some kind of landing. So I have to get there. But how? Portals? Uh, wrong. No white panels. Jump? Don't. Even. Dare.

There's only this bridge, but it ain't turning for nothing. Aargh! This is so frustrating!

Calm down, let's think about this. What are the possibilities? I could see if this bridge can go through portals, but I doubt. I fired a portal next to me facing the fond of the corridor. Then I fired the other on the white panel where the bridge met the wall.

And to my utter disbelief, it worked.

The bridge continued through the portal. As the other one was right next to me, it sailed across itself and reached right to the end of the corridor. If I thought about it too deeply, I'm sure I would spaz out completely. But here we are. So with some weird satisfaction, I trailed down the length of the extended bridge and came to the landing on the left. Actually, it was a little viewing room overlooking the main chamber. And sitting there minding it's own business was a metal cube.

Grab it.

A moment later, I successfully jumped off the bridge with my feet landing on the panelled floor of the main chamber, cube in tow. So where do I put it? Oh, right over there underneath the laser. Because the cube would then block the laser, it should stop working and the exit door should open perhaps? I dropped the cube on the button and I looked up at the exit door. Sure, it opened alright. But the panel lift also activated on contact with the button and rise to the door. This was just like test chamber three. There is no way on earth I can block the laser whilst placing the cube on the button while I'm on the panel! Even if I dropped the cube from a portal above, that damn bridge is in the way! It's impossible!

I had no way of telling the time, but I could feel that I had been doing these tests for hours now. I've had enough, there's only so much I can take! I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I'm so exhausted and I want to just go to the bathroom! Can't Siri just, like, pause testing for a minute so I can at least go to the toilet and have a drink of water? If not, that's so inhumane, not like this whole thing already was. She'll understand.

"Hey Siri!" I hollered out. "I need the bathroom and a drink. I can't keep doing your 'testing' thing if I'm feeling terrible."

There was no response. I tried again.

"Please Siri? Can you just give me a break?"

I waited. Still nothing. I tried again and again, and yet even more, but ultimately, there was no reply. No attention at all.

So that's how it is...

"Fine!" I shouted arrogantly. "I quit testing! I'm not moving till you give me a break!"

I stared daggers at the curious cameras looking on at my protest. I'm serious though, I'm not doing this crap until I get my break! But still, nothing happened. Not an answer or anything. And by now, the need to let my bladder loose was getting painstakingly high. I'm sure as hell not peeing myself. I fidgeted as I sat on the floor, never dropping my gaze at the camera on the wall. So who is really watching me from behind it? It's surely got to be Siri, if it is actually Siri.

It might...it might be an actual woman.

Okay, now I REALLY needed to go. Is there some discreet place I can leak...? I looked around the chamber, not believing myself for doing this. So much for dignity.

And then my eyes locked on the acid pool directly next to me. I knew what to do.

I got up and casually walked over to the side of the pool and crouched down, and I was SO nervous, what would Siri do if...? No, she didn't give me a break, so this is payback.

I lay the portal device down next to me and loosened my hideous orange jumpsuit pants. They came down only by a few inches. Good enough. Then I sat on the edge of the pool with my legs dangling over the side...

...and I let go. Steadily at first, but then with more confidence. Ah, that's better.

"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!?" Siri's voice exploded.

I literally jumped in mid-pee and scrambled back from the poolside. One second it was peaceful, the next I was in utter shock from Siri's voice.

"I was only..." I stammered but I looked down and realised I was still peeing! All over myself, onto the floor. In both horror and unease, I stumbled back yet again. And I didn't even realise it was behind me before it was too late.

I backed into the laser.

The beam scolded my right leg with unbearable, burning agony.

"Aarrghh!" I yelled out in pain.

Tears flooded to my eyes, and as the pee dripped to a stop, I could feel the burnt blood oozing from the furious scar. I collapsed to the ground and clutched my leg, wincing, crying like a big baby. And even in what I could've labelled as one of the most painful, humiliating and awful experience in my life, Siri's voice cut like a knife through it all, a cold tinge in her voice.

"This incident serves you right. Your behaviour is an offence to Aperture Science, we cannot accept your immoral misconduct. Don't be expecting anything good to happen to you."

Something cracked in my mind. It was as if Siri's words had broken the last piece of me that kept me sane. I was dead tired, but in an instant, every ounce of energy, the roaring pain of the laser burn, my humiliation and misery, my hunger, my thirst, everything I hated about this place, my confusion about why I was here, who I actually was and most importantly, the hatred I held for Siri culminated and rose up, and still up, and I completely let go of my sanity.

"I HATE YOU!" I screamed in full rage. "I WAS TRYING TO GO TO TAKE A PEE, GODDAMIT! I CAN'T TEST IF I'M BUSTING! THAT LASER BURNED ME AND IT HURTS LIKE ANYTHING! YOU DON'T CARE DO YOU THOUGH? OH NO, IM JUST A NUMBER TO YOU! IM A NOBODY WHO WONT GIVE A SECOND THOUGHT IF I DIE IN THIS PLACE OF DEATH! UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ACTUALLY ARE A WOMAN, NOT JUST SOME MINDLESS COMPUTER LIKE SIRI ON MY IPHONE! OH WAIT, I DONT HAVE THAT EITHER! SO IF YOU REALLY DO HAVE FEELINGS, TELL ME MY NAME!"

Tears stung my eyes, blood throbbed in my head, and I panted in complete exhaustion. There was no more energy in me now. I couldn't stand for much longer, especially with my burned leg. But I still with the mental willpower I had tried to wait for Siri's response.

But only the camera looked on.

When there was no response, my legs wobbled, buckled, and I crumpled to the ground with a narrow miss of the laser beam. My world turned black.

•••••

The night had been a blast.

Vegas truly delivered itself. We must've hit fifteen casinos or something, I was too drunk on Pino Colada cocktails and champagne to remember. The money we won, the money we lost, it was all part of the experience. And now I was leaning on the arm of some handsome guy I had met at the bar of the previous casino, staggering to his hotel room with hoots and cackles of laughter. This was my second time in Las Vegas, and it was better than the last time. Casinos caught onto your game of the seventeen-year-old-passing-for-eighteen. But at twenty-one, I got the full works.

The dude, Robert I think, made some rude comment about a couple across the street and I threw back my head in drunk glee.

I lost my sister Christina earlier on in the night but I didn't care. We'd find each other tomorrow morning and retell our night of activity.

We walked along for a few blocks on the dark streets, lit up with the occasional glow of a streetlight. We came to an adult shop and Robert stopped his stride.

"Wait here for a moment, okay?" He grinned devishly, pulling out his wallet.

I responded with a flick of my hand and another cackle. He disappeared inside the store. With a smile playing on my lips, I twirled a bit, stumbled a little, and leaned against the wall. My vision was a little blurry, but I gazed at a building with the time and date blazed against its readout.

12:14AM — October 18th, 1975

I waited still for my partner to buy whatever he was going to buy for tonight and come out. Meanwhile, a man in a business suit approached from the left.

"Excuse me?" He called out. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" I replied with a giggle.

But the man came closer still. "No...no..you're not fine at all. Here, I'll take you home."

"But..." I said, waving a hand at the store. "But my...my..uh..."

"No come with me, you can't stay here, something could happen to you." The man said, guiding me with his arm back down the street.

I started to feel uncomfortable, but I let him take me anyway. I started to slur some words randomly from my mouth, short and weak emissions of laughter being added. The man nodded as he walked me along. "Yes, yes. Okay."

We came to an alleyway and he lead me down it. Even though I was drunk, I knew something wasn't right. Where is he taking me?

"Just a bit further." He said.

And then seconds later, we came to a white van illuminated by a lone street lamp. On its side was the name of a company I'd never seen before.

APERTURE

Laboratories

"What's..what's this?" I asked.

Before I could react, the man clasped his hand over my mouth, stifling my scream. Then I felt a sharp blow to the head. My vision blurred, and I dropped to the ground.