Don't ask, I didn't tell! - 2. Chapter 2

I stared at the guy who’d just exposed me unsure of what to say. He wasn’t facing me, but I could tell from his size he could pummel me. His short, jet black hair just a warning to all gays that this guy’s heart is also jet black and he will show no mercy to your predicament.

“Don’t mind Dan, he says that about every new guy we get. He said it about me too! I mean do I look like some fag?” explained Chase.

I sighed with relief internally and spent the next 10 minutes chatting to everyone and taking it all in (no, not in that way). After that I’d basically got this about everybody:

Chase was the dirty blonde guy with the deep blue eyes from L.A. He’s about my height and is slim but athletic. For some reason he actually wanted to be sent to this place.
Lee was the gorgeous light brown haired guy with dark eyes, and built like an army tank. Maybe that’s his rank. He’s ripped beyond belief and his biceps bulge but his abs are like perfect 6 pack and oh God I was staring again. He’s here because his Dad was in the military.
Pete was the guy from Salt Lake City. He’s got browny-reddy-auburn hair? Did I just use auburn? Gay.
He’s a similar build to Chase but he’s a little taller. I didn’t find out why he’s here.
Tim’s the short but stocky black guy, really quite handsome, totally loves being here. I’d guess he asked to be sent here too.
Dan’s the tall, jet black hair, dismissive one who’s said about 3 sentences. He’s pretty muscley but he oozes the aura of dickhead. I could tell I was gonna clash with this guy.

Oh and for anyone interested, I’m the guy with a swimmers body (so I look like a frickin pretzel stick compared to these guys), brown hair, green eyes, about 5ft10, I have a neon sign above my head flashing queer, I only wear rainbow coloured clothes, and I ride a unicorn everywhere. I’m at freakin’ military school.

“Anyways man, it’s evening meal time, we’d better go. Come on we’ll show you the food hall,” said Lee. Staring at him, the only food I could imagine eating was…hot dogs.

----

I heard someone say, “If you try anything 12 times, you start to like the taste of it”.
I remember thinking, “Funny, no matter how many times I could try it, I don’t think I’d ever enjoy the taste of shit.”

These thoughts ran through my head as I was eating the “chow” we got served.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it newbie,” Chase said noticing the probably quite disgusted expression on my face.

“I’d rather not get used to it, I’d much rather go home.” I said not really thinking about the fact there wasn’t much for me to go home to either. Dad struggled making toast and Vicky’s main food source was ice. She thinks it’s a vegetable.

“So, how many chicks you boned fag? If any at all that is…” Dan suddenly interrupted, with the smoothness of a square wheel.

Everyone’s eyes turned to face me and I’m sure I looked, similar to internet explorer when it crashes; like I was not responding and needed to close. Since pushing Ctrl + Alt + Del mentally in my head didn’t work, I tried a different tact. This guy was an asshole and not the type I wanted to shove my member in, but no I think he’d just met his match.

“Listen douchebag, if you think you’re gonna try and make being here even more of a nightmare for me you’re definitely mistaken. Back the fuck off,” I said firmly, “I had a steady girlfriend for about a year and she’s the only ‘chick’ I’ve ‘boned’.”

Dan immediately tried to stand, probably to queer-bash me into the floor, but Tim pushed him back down and turned back to me as if nothing had happened.

“This girl of yours got a name?” he asked smiling.

“Claire.” I replied. I thought back to my one and only hetero relationship. Claire was the typical girl next door, cute, shoulder length blonde hair, bubbly character and a smile that was always so sincere. We’d been friends for about 2 years; since she’d moved to our crappy little town in Utah. We got kinda close and I was still in denial about everything. We were just lying on my bed one day chatting about the usual school shit, and then she went quiet. She was just staring into my eyes; the silence was making me feel slightly awkward. I adjusted my head slightly but as I did so she began moving forwards and the next thing I know we’re making out. Like I said, we went out for a year, had sex a few times but eventually I came to accept myself as a ’mo. More for her sake than mine, I knew it wasn’t fair and I broke up with her. We drifted after that and then when things with my Mom happened… I didn’t see a lot of Claire after that. She’s that girl that, more than anything; I wish I was straight for.

“Yo Sean!” mocked Chase waving his hand in front of my face, “She must have been amazing in bed to make you glaze over like that dude. Am I right?” he said, motioning for a high 5.

“She is probably a He, Chase” said Dan spitefully. Somebody seriously sat on the wrong end of the dildo this morning.

“Knock it off Dan.” Lee cut in.

“Are you all fags now? Fine, go blow the new guy. Just means there’s more pussy in the world for me,” gloated Dan, “Just for the record, I boned 14 chicks last summer.”

“Good for you Slagatha Christie.” I said with far too much sass for my own good.

I looked around at the confused faces looking back at me. ‘Shit. They’re so never finding my body.

“…Who?” asked Pete dimly.

Oh dear. They aren’t only straight, but they’re apparently dumbasses. They genuinely think that’s a real person. “Some player from The Real World,” I lied.

“Lame…” said Dan, as he walked off.

The rest of the meal went by pretty smoothly. If by smoothly you mean in complete silence, while occasionally being eyed up suspiciously. I used to love convo-killers. You know, when they happened to other people. I’d have gone and eaten in the bathroom if I wasn’t afraid the toilet paper holder would whisper “gayyyboyyy” at me.

----

“What are you doing?” spat Dan at me.

“Eating.” I replied chilling out on my luxury 4 poster bed. I mean army cot. The meal had sucked, and I really couldn’t stomach it so I’d grabbed another bread roll on my way out and strolled back to our barracks. Apparently by doing this I’d just pissed on the American Flag in front of these guys because suddenly I was being yelled at by Dan, Pete was frowning though that might’ve beeen more of a confused face (there ain’t much going on up there I don’t think…) and Lee was trying to calm everyone down.

“Just leave it Dan, he had no idea. You messed up too in your first week,” said Lee.

“You aren’t allowed to take food out of the Chow Hall!”. Chow Hall. At times I just have to laugh at this place.

“So? It’s his first day, leave him alone man!”

“Stop standing up for him just coz he’s queer. You can’t fuck this one aswell dude.” Dan evidently hit a nerve because Chase was already holding Lee back before he had chance to react.

Unfortunately for me, Dan was gone before I had chance to even slightly plead for mercy and next thing I know I’m being summoned to like the head of this military school’s base thing. I don’t know his rank. It’s probably something like “King”.

----

“Oh, a rebel. Do you know how many rebels we’ve had come through here son, only to be whipped back into place under my regime?” said King Steven Ford, “62 rebels cadet.” There was me thinking it was a rhetorical question. “Breaking Chow Hall rules on your first day, tssk tssk. Just what were you thinking?”

“I-“

“EXACTLY! YOU WEREN’T THINKING AT ALL!”

“Bu-“

“OR WERE YOU?!”

“Erm…”

“PUNISHMENT! Punishment is the only solution to this!”

“Wha-“

“It’s too late to apologise now cadet. Your punishment has been decided,” he said, all too happy about it, pacing his office and hitting stuff with a stick. Stereotype a crazy war veteran from a film. Yeah that’s him, though I doubt he’s ever left the country.

“Si-“

“Sergeant Kevin, if you would.”

I turned around, only to once again get caught in Sergeant Hottie’s Hunklights. I get to spend hours on end with Sergeant Hottie?! Maybe punishment would be the one thing I actually enjoyed at this place? Karma is most definitely my new best friend.

“CAAAAADET! You will undergo all night physical endurance drills of press-ups, cross-country runs and obstacle course time trials.”

Karma’s a bitch.