Promptly I Do Ramble - 1. The Veh'ori

"Somehow, I never expected this…"

"What did you expect Earth to look like? Rainbow with pixie dust oceans?" I muttered, staring at the Veh'ori ambassador like he had grown a fourth head … well stalk … on top of the already numerous, bulbous protrusions that acted as the Veh'ori species eyes and scenting organs.

"Pardon?" The bone white alien turned one of its eye stalks away from the viewing window to peer at me.

It was unnerving to see; the unblinking stare of his baseball sized eyeball, sticking up out of his crab like body. "Sorry, it's a saying from the 23rd century. Tourist guides apparently liked to use it with the Azpahti visitors when we first opened relations with aliens."

The Veh'ori made a chirping sound I assumed was laughter before speaking again. "Ah … I see why your species are so popular as cruiseline entertainers; No one else is quite mad enough to think up the things humans do."

"Umm, thank you I think. Personally I think we're the only sane ones." I mentally shook my head; why did aliens insist on saying humans are mad? Clearly, we are the only ones with a working brain, what with the way the Rinash and the Yurivites had been decking it out for the last century while the Veh'ori and Azpahti had sat by and watched entire star systems blown up without blinking an eye.

With a sigh I tried to divert the conversation back to more normal things before I offended him. "Perhaps we should strap in before docking; safety precautions and all."

The Veh'ori nodded in assent and clambered on his six legs over to one of the luxurious armchairs that filled the viewing gallery.

I followed suit and strapped myself into the synthetic leather chair. However, as I finished strapping in and looked up from my belt to consider ordering a beverage, the Veh'ori saw fit to interrupt.

"How exactly do you put these things on?"

I turned to look at my alien companion and immediately I was forced to clamp hand over my mouth to restrain myself from bursting out into laughter. Still, my body shook with suppressed giggles, which prompted the ambassador to ask me if I was quite alright and should he find me a medical android.

I doubt he could have gone and found the doctor if he wanted, for he had thoroughly tied himself up. The spindly guy had managed to pull the seat belt all the out of the seat and then proceeded to wrap it around two of his eye stalks before plugging it into the buckle.

How could these people call US the mad ones?!