Last Chance - 5. Chapter 5: New to Love

Matthew slowly walked into Jamie's cubicle and the sight terrified him. He looked at all the tubes and IVs that were attached to Jamie's arms and then looked to the oxygen pipe that was inserted into his nose; last but not least he took notice to the bruises on Jamie's arms and legs, but the rest was covered in a hospital gown. He slowly walked up to Jamie and was nearly in tears.

"Jamie?" He spoke softly and waited for a reply as his body trembled nervously.

Jamie slowly opened his eyes and turned to look up at Matthew. His face expression was again emotionless and he opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find his voice.

"Baby I am so sorry..." Matthew spoke and took hold of Jamie's hand. "It's all my fault." He looked down and cried softly still not knowing what all had happened.

Jamie stared at Matthew for a moment and was too weak to pull his hand free but after a few moments, his hoarse voice croaked out barely above a whisper. "Get out..." He said and stared at Matthew.

"What?" Matthew looked up at Jamie and shook his head. "I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

Jamie's eyes flared with anger and he took what little bit of energy he had left and screamed. "Get out!" That took a lot of energy from him and he lay back against the bed helplessly.

Joe heard Jamie's scream as he burst into the cubicle and his eyes were full of rage as they landed on Matthew. He approached the guy and grabbed him by the shirt. "You fucking heard him asshole, get out!"

Matthew stared at Joe and then his hands moved to Joe's chest and he shoved him back. "No I wont get out and who the fuck are you?!" Matthew screamed as two security guards moved into the cubical.

"I'm his fucking friend and he wants you out!" Joe screamed as he stumbled back but grabbed a hold of Matthew's shirt again. He pulled Matthew forward and shoved him towards the security guards who quickly escorted him out.

Joe quickly turned to Jamie with a look of sadness in his eyes as he approached his friend and took hold of Jamie's hand. "Oh god...this is terrible." Joe spoke and softly kissed Jamie's forehead.

Jamie sighed and held onto Joe's hand as tightly as possible as he began to feel safe again and looked as Jimmy entered the room looking very angry.

"God damn it! I'm gonna sue them! I'm gonna make sure they all fucking go down! I'm gonna..." Jimmy was on a bitching spree but was interrupted by Joe.

"What happened?" Joe asked in concern as he released Jamie's hand.

Jimmy looked over at Joe and sighed sadly, as he shook his head. "Jamie was raped...not once but about ten to eleven times by a police officer and all of the inmates."

Joe's eyes widened as he heard the news. "Those bastards..." He whispered but let the anger go as he turned to comfort Jamie. He leaned down and hugged his friend softly.

Matthew stumbled as he was pushed out the ER door, and nearly hit the ground. He turned back and looked angrily at the guards before shaking his head and getting into his car with a loud slam of the door. He was angry with himself and balled up a fist, as he just wanted to give himself a knuckle sandwich but thought better of it. He grabbed his phone and dialed Jack.

As soon as Jack picked up, he screamed angrily into the phone. "What the fuck happened?!"

Jack sighed and spoke up. "Jamie was raped by one of the officers and numerous inmates."

Matthew narrowed his eyes and decided the blame wasn't entirely on him. "Jack, this isn't entirely my fault. You're the one who told me to arrest him and look what it’s done! Take the goddamn job and shove it up your ass! I’m through with it and I hope you and everyone else over there burn in fucking hell!" With that, Matthew hung up the phone.

Matthew started the car and with a loud squeal, he pulled off and away from the hospital. He sighed needing someone to talk to and called Jessica. He knew she was still on duty but she’d always be willing to take a break for him as they have been very close friends since he moved to New York. She had been the one to train him and luckily she agreed to meet him for coffee and he drove on towards the coffee shop.

Jimmy sighed and moved towards Jamie when he got a page and he checked to see who it was. "Sorry Jamie, but I got business to attend." Jimmy spoke as all worry and concern were quickly erased from his face and he simply walked out leaving his younger boyfriend behind.

Joe watched as Jimmy just walked off like nothing had happened. "What a fucking jerk." Joe turned to look down at Jamie sadly and sighed. "I know this isn't the time but Jamie...that guy doesn't deserve you if he’s just gonna walk out like that."

Jamie looked up at Joe as tears formed in his eyes and he tried to sit up but was to weak. Joe noticed his efforts and leaned down as he embraced the small and broken boy and they both cried softly together. Jamie buried his face in Joe’s chest and just held onto him as tightly as his arms would allow.

Matthew and Jessica were soon seated at the coffee shop and were both treated to cups of hot coffee as they sat in silence. Matthew just stared out the window with a look of deep thought as Jessica just watched him patiently. Matthew felt terrible in many different ways and he just needed someone to vent to and turned to look at Jessica. He nervously picked up his coffee with two shaky hands before accidentally dropping it and spilling coffee all over the table. Jessica sighed and looked at him with sympathy before grabbing some napkins and started cleaning up the table the best she could.

"I can't do anything right..." Matthew said; he ran his hands through his hair.

Jessica had the mess at least half way cleaned up and looked up at Matthew. "Yes you can Matt. You are a good man and...well whats bothering you?"

"It’s a long story so I’ll just give you the basics. For starters, I’m gay and Jamie...well Jamie is the love of my life. I had treated him like shit back in high school and haven't seen him for three years and finally we were making things right again when that bastard..." Matthew trailed off and a look of anger crossed his face. "That bastard Jack made me arrest him because he’s a suspect in Tiffani West’s case and now Jamie hates me...I can't blame him though can I?" Matthew looked up at Jessica sadly. He didn't care that he had just come out to her and he didn't care if she hated it, but he really hoped she didn't start screaming at him.

Jessica stared at Matthew and took a deep breath. She began to feel a little awkward and as a distraction to ease herself she took a sip of her coffee. Once placing the mug back down her eyes would shift back to Matthew. "Well...it’s definitely a shocker to me...I mean I had no idea you were..." She trailed off then looked to her best friend and reached over to take his hand. "I’m fine with it."

Matthew sighed with relief by her reaction and nodded as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze before pulling his own hand away. "My sexuality is the least of my problems right now..."

Jessica nodded and remained silent as she processed all the information through her head. "Matthew...there might not be much you can do. Rape is hard on a person and that's only if it happens one time by one person. Jamie went through something very traumatic and it seems like in his own mindset that he blames you for it. To him it’s completely logical as he sees it your fault because you arrested him in the first place." Jessica looked down at the table and shrugged. "Maybe you should just...leave him alone."

Matthew stared at her for a moment and due to the great stress he was under had a sudden mood swing. "You're a lot of fucking help." He stood up and left the coffee shop and a shocked and concerned Jessica behind.

Two days had passed and Jamie remained in the hospital and Joe stayed right by his side the whole time and never left once except occasionally for food. During that time, Matthew just kept buried in his apartment tossing sleeping pills right and left. Jamie however was improving greatly physically and was off the oxygen and able to sit up on his own now. Of course, emotionally he would be messed up for a long time but during his stay at the hospital Joe managed to keep him distracted with jokes and stories; they watched movies together. Well Jamie would wake up on the third morning to see Joe sitting in a chair with his head on the bed fast asleep. Jamie smiled softly and gently shook him awake.

"You should go get some rest...you're so tired." Jamie said softly.

"Trust me this is more comfortable than that tent." Joe smiled as he sat up and took hold of Jamie’s hand. "How are you doing?"

"A little better." Jamie nodded as he spoke honestly then looked into Joe’s eyes. "You know I’ve been thinking about what you said about Jimmy...He hasn't been to see me once since the night it happened and..."

"Jamie...I know it hurts, trust me I know, but...you gotta see the light. The guy just doesn't care." Joe replied and stared into Jamie’s eyes as his own were red and puffy. Joe looked awful and really tired but he was going to be there for Jamie no matter what it took.

Jamie stared at Joe and nodded in agreement. He sat there for a few moments and then slowly leaned over. He connected lips with Joe and the two kissed softly. Once it was broken, Jamie looked into Joe’s eyes. "I’ve been such a fool. You really do care...between Matthew and Jimmy you were here for me and they weren't."

Joe looked into Jamie’s eyes and then his hand moved up to caress the boy's face. "You know I love you Jamie but I would never push you. I’m your friend and I’ll always be your friend that's just fine with me because I care and if only friendship makes you happy then so be it."

Jamie looked at Joe and nodded softly before looking down. He appeared to be in deep thought and then looked back up at Joe. This guy really cared about Jamie. He had taken care of him since he had arrived to New York. Jimmy did give him a job and paid him but in return, Jamie had to have sex with him. Joe was different in every way he took care of Jamie made sure he had a roof...well tent over his head and food and Joe was always just fine with talking. During the whole three years, they'd known each other Joe had never made a move on Jamie once. He made his feelings clear but he never tried to push Jamie.

"I love you." Jamie spoke all of a sudden, as he looked deeply into Joe’s eyes.

Joe stared at Jamie in complete shock and sat up straight. "W...what?" He repeated wanting to make sure of what he heard.

"I love you....What I’m saying is that I want to be with you. I mean you’ve always been there for me and haven't expected anything in return and even denied your feelings to make me happy which wasn't the best thing but it showed that you cared. It’s time I acknowledge your feelings and return them with my own." Jamie spoke and took a deep breath.

Joe stared at Jamie for a moment and tears came to his eyes as the two leaned in for another deep kiss. They embraced each other gently and the kiss deepened. The emotions between them were running wild like airplanes soaring through the sky. Jamie felt this time he would truly be safe. Joe had always protected him; he had always been open about his feelings and wasn't afraid of his sexuality. To top it all off he had never asked Jamie for sex when every other man involved with Jamie did one or all of those things. Jamie was sure that his heart would be safe with Joe and was giving it to him right there in the hospital room. Joe felt happiness and devotion. Jamie was his lover now but that wouldn't change their relationship, only strengthen it. Joe was going to protect Jamie to the best of his ability and wouldn't ever see the boy hurt if he could help it. The kiss was finally broken when they heard a nurse clear her throat. They both turned to look at her and smiled.

"Just kissing my boyfriend." Joe said openly and that caused a smile from Jamie.

Beth, the nurse smiled and handed them each a cup of coke. "You two cuties have fun then. My names Beth and I will be your nurse for today and they're planning your release tomorrow so if you need anything at all, just ask me." She turned and with that was gone.

Jamie took the cup and held it up as Joe took the hint and they banged their cups together gently as Jamie spoke with a smile. "To a new love." Both boys laughed softly and in unison took sips of their drinks.