Ex gay husband - 7. The question

"We'll be late for the dancing fountains!" Mark shouted and jumped on his feet when he saw us approaching him after waiting for us on a bench. The dancing fountains were located in Planten un Blomen which was just across the street. He was right: We were indeed late and had also no clue where to find them in this spacious park. When we finally found the spot, the dancing fountains were already well underway.

Mark thrusted himself forward through the crowd closer to the water. Colin and I stayed back from where we could see well enough. The music was also clearly understandable. And in the front row, the audience was pretty crowded together.

For some time, none of us said a word whilst watching and listening to the attraction in front of us. Then, Colin started to talk.

"Back then, I always watched 'Barbie in the Nutcracker' with my sister."

"Because of your sister?," I asked because I wasn't sure if he might have watched it out of personal interest.

"No. I loved it back in the days. Idyllic world and the like. You know?"

I got to know new aspects of my husband once again. Many gay people had their specific experience or piece of pop culture that had given them security and role models. So that was his story.

∞

The evening wasn't over yet: The culmination was the fireworks at the Dom. Just minutes later we were back at the Heiligengeistfeld; Mark, slightly away from us again – this time, because he loved fireworks and disregarded everything else in the meantime.

Colin and I stood together and gazed into the sky. After a while, I felt like I had to ask a question that could deepen our bonding as husbands.
"You want to have children one day, don't you?"

That's what he'd told me once, so the question was rather rhetorical. He loved being with his brother and pictured himself having kids of his own.
"Would you prefer a boy or a girl?" I asked.

"I don't care. Children are wonderful. But adopting one would be hard to accomplish."

I couldn't imagine having children myself. On the other hand, I felt like I had to help him make his dream come true. I tried to imagine how it was like to live together with my husband.

I let some time pass by, then I advanced a proposal. His reaction was hard to evaluate but I had a feeling that he liked me, too.

"How do you feel about visiting me on New Year's Eve? I wouldn't mind if this was without Mark."

I couldn't wait to hear his opinion.

"I'd like to. But wouldn't that be unfair on him?"

"I already met him without you. And if he wants to, he can visit me the year after."

"Word! I'm looking forward to it!"

I felt so relieved.

It almost was like we shared a secret.

If you want to read more about the places, they visit and other (potentially) interesting stuff, make sure to check out my story discussion!
And of course, I'd love to hear your opinion