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Lucid Love is my new story that I'm working on and right now I'm two chapters in and I can't wait to go on with chapter three. I guess it's because I am a writer that I keep working on it - I can't just sit here and do nothing because I don't write that great. Lol. Even though I may not be a good writer, or good enough to entertain people then I'm still going to work on this project. Why? Because it's a story that I really want to write. This story involves the emotional connection that I had with someone just a few years ago and I actually still have feelings for (Ooops! Really?) He was quite a nice guy that gave me that special feeling, and actually made me feel special. I posted a section of the story in the Sneak Peak section of the Writers Circle, and I thought for those that actually read my blog that I would give you the complete chapter one: So this is my new adventure that I'm working on, and I hope that someone will enjoy it and be a little intrigued to wanna see more. Over time, yes the writing will hopefully get better but at least hopefully I can tell a story that people would want to read. Hopefully! Because I have a ton more ideas that I would like to put down, but I better take some time and focus on my current project - Lucid Love

Life's curves I don't know, I get so confused sometimes. I listen to people talk, read stories (fiction, i know) and like all stories there's usually a grain of truth in them. They do came from someone's experiences. Like it's been said, there's nothing new under the sun. Years ago I admitted to a friend that being gay scared me not because of what other people thought, since I had been through so much already by the age of 27 to worry with opinions not my own. It scared me because I never saw any older gay couples and I didn't want to die alone. I think the fear of dying alone made me reach out through the internet to feel close to more people since I was limited at home. Through all the chemo, radiation, and other crap I had to deal with, I was always scared of dying alone. I mean I knew my parents would always be there for me, but I mean that someone, that special someone. Yet the more I learn about life, the more I feel alone. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I'm not in remission yet, but I should be soon. So, I guess I'm getting better. There's still the bone marrow transplant donor to find and do. But, things are looking better again. Yet, I also see now that I missed out on so much as a teenager. I think I would trade my life today to have had a normal life as a teenager. Making all the mistakes and finding the new experiences. I guess I'm making a fool of myself. Tonight I set up most of the night reading a long story on nifty and envied the characters, even the sad ones. At least they got to experience life. I guess after so many years of battling my battles, I'm starting to become a little bitter over it. I do treasure my online friends, even some of the old guys that pretended to be teens before they either literally died from old age or disappeared. Life isn't always fair, in fact, it rarely is. But, I have to have the hope and belief that if you pour yourself into life, in the long run, it's all worth it. I am however real enough to know that's not always true. And it saddens me to see people have to deal with the worst life can throw at you. I wish the world wasn't like that. And like I said earlier, I dunno why I'm writing this, but here it is, raw, unedited me. Please, if you feel you can't take anymore, it will get better. There's nothing life can throw at us that we can't over come or find a way around it, it will get better. Nothing last forever, including the bad times, it will get better. Reach out to someone, talk to someone, share your feelings, it will get better. Never ever give up, it will get better. There are organizations that are there to help us through the bad times, it will get better. The Trevor Project is just one of those, reach out to them, support their work, it will get better. The Trevor Project