It seems like I'm waiting forever to get out of here. I've been so lonely here. There's no one around. I feel more isolated than I've ever felt in my life, and at the end of the day, I just want to leave this place, but I don't get to leave until next month. Meanwhile it's freezing, and the snow seems to be never ending. I'm ready for at least slightly warmer weather and a chance to start a new life in Texas. Worst of all, I'll probably be alone on Christmas, and that is a terrible feeling. It's
Well, a few months ago I moved to Kansas. Well, I'm moving again. This time I'm moving to Texas, Waxahachie to be exact. It's a city of about 20,000, and it's south of Dallas. I was thinking of staying here, but then it hit me the other day. I really don't want to be here, so I've decided that's where I want to go. I will miss what family I have here, but that's about all. The whole depression thing was caused by just not wanting to be here, so that seems like the perfect solution. Anyway, I'm n
It's been a while hasn't it? As some might have noticed, I haven't updated my blog in quite some time. I guess you could say that I haven't really had my focus here. As some might have also noticed, I'm not posting much. Thus, don't call me a post whore, because I'm totally not! I've been a good boy. I haven't even checked to the top 20 overall posters in quite some time. Am I still even number 4? Okay, I just checked, and I am actually still #4. My post per day average has slipped considerably
Yes, it's a good title for a story, and it's what I am doing. It's time to put plans into action. I can have a better life for myself, one with reduced stress and more pleasure. I have come across a business opportunity, and I am going to take it. Tomorrow night could very well change my life forever.
Lately I have not felt any inspiration to write. I don't know what it is, but it's just not what belongs on my plate right now. Hopefully that will change soon, because I do want to finish a s
We often dare to dream. Someone, or something, comes along that you want more than anything. The problem comes when you realize what is probably lost to you forever. It's the ultimate in not being inspired. It's problematic to say the least, but who knows what will happen? It just makes me wish I could crawl under a rock, but I can't do that. I'm much better than I was a few months ago, but now that I am more "normal", it actually makes things more difficult to deal with. It may be a while, but
Well, I just started playing the new round of Star Kingdoms. last night. This is awesome. So far, I know of 4 other GA members who are playing. 2 of them, Demetz and W.L., are in my sector, which is really cool. I also know that Lissa and Mattie are playing as well. This is going to be f**king awesome! I think I'm getting a much better start this time, and I think I can do quite well. It's a fun game, and if you're interested, start quickly, because the round is already in full swing. Being any
I sometimes have a hard time going to sleep. Thus, I am listening to Bolero, one of my favorite musical pieces. It has a variety of beautiful instruments playing the chorus, and it blends so well It even gives me goosebumps. There is nothing wrong with a love of classical music. It reminds us of the days of yore when life was simpler. By simpler, I mean that the world was not modernized. If you wanted to hear a song like this, you had to go to where it was being performed live. While that is sti
Well, I went to the health department. Last week I got tested for HIV. I had to wait a week, but the news is good. I am HIV negative. Now, I deleted my entry from yesterday, but I shall repost that video as well as another.
This is a hilarious parody about Sarah Palin based on "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat. It is freaking hilarious.
The second one is based on Hey Delilah. It's funny as hell too.
What is the little red monster? That's a good question. While I seem to be at a point where I am not depressed as much, there seems to be something else emerging. Occasionally, the little red monster comes out to play. Anything can set it off like a hungry lion being unleashed. I guess one could say that I need to get it under control, because I'm just irritable, and that is not a good thing at all. What causes it? Well, sometimes people, like me, spend years being self-sacrificing. It takes an
Now, I know that the main test is more accurate, but I have to wait a week before I know my HIV status. I'm still nervous about it. I just wanted to know today, because I wanted peace of mine. I just have to be patient, which is difficult for me. This is my life I'm talking about. The contents of a vile hold the key, and it takes a week to know my fate. I shouldn't bitch about it, but I can't help myself.
Yes, I wonder if I'm the king of gaffs. I seem to have a bad habit of putting my foot in my mouth. Perhaps, I should be given a muzzle and a pair of mittens to prevent me from speaking or talking. That is all.
All of us have skeletons in our closets, moments in time we wish we could change. Take for example, what my adoptive father did. His selfishness and sickness literally destroyed our family. In 1997, his niece came to live with us. Her mother, who happens to be a major slut, decided to leave her with us so she could seek the almighty cock. Over the next 3 years or so, the young girl lived with us. During that time, she was exposed to a true monster. Like so many young people, she was my molested.
Well, there's not too much going on my life right now. I have decided that I have to seriously find a way out of my current life. I want something better for myself, and I don't really think I have a future here. School is fine, and I am about finished with a couple of classes. In fact, next week is the last week.
Recently, I decided that I need to go ahead and get tested. I just called the local health department. I can get tested for $20. I scheduled an appointment for Monday. I am a litt
Well, this is the first order of business. I have a problem. A friend of mine calls me several times a day. She is so draining after a while, and I really don't know what to do. At the same time, she's going through a lot of shit these days. In fact, she lives down in the Houston area, and it looks like a war zone there. Thus, I do not know what I should do. Should I say something about it, or should I just continue to be "drained".
Now, for my second gripe. I realize that people don't alwa
I don't want to get into specifics, but when I was about 8 years old, I did something that I am ashamed of. I know that it is an age when our understanding is not the same as it is when we reach a mature age, but I was reminded of it yesterday. I was left wondering if it caused long-term effects that I was unable to foresee at the time. I probably knew it was not something I should have done, but I was at an age where impulses won the day. Now I am left wondering. We all do things we're not prou
The current state of our political system is dire. When you look at the two parties, you see little belief in working towards the common good of this country. This is far removed from the vision of our forefathers. There is lack of pragmatism. Yes, I said the p word. When creating a bill that is for the greater good for this country, our legislators tend to nit pick. Instead of thinking about what is best for the people, they decide that it's not worth while to compromise. Take for example the r
I decided to make it official. I was already planning to register as I had not yet registered to vote in Kansas. Since Kansas is way too conservative and needs more Democrats, I registered to vote and officially joined the Democratic Party. Before, I was not affiliated with a political party at all. If someone would have told me even two years ago that I would now be a Democrat, I would have said, "No way, not ever!" However, my views have changed over time, and I am now more liberal than ever.
The last thing I ever want to do is come off as abrasive. I think most of us feel that way. I seldom tell people what really bothers me, because I don't like people to think that I'm putting them down. However, there comes the moment when I've had enough, and then I tell the person what I think. Sometimes they take it the wrong way and walk off. Alternatively, they become disheartened. How do you tell someone that you don't like what they're doing without causing such reactions? Is that always p
Here's a thought. Life is just some f**ked up scheme to screw me over. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens just to knock me back down. For instance, I started my classes in August, thinking that it would all be fine, but now my finances are all f**ked up. It's just coming to a point where I'm about ready to give up on ever attaining my education, because I'm obviously not meant to have one, despite my above average intelligence and my dedication to making it happen. What did I
Well, in my last entry, I mentioned my new addiction to Star Kingdoms, but I decided I was done for the round. Hopefully, I can do better next round.
Thus, it is time to write again. Yes, I have neglected it for a while for whatever reason. Well, I cannot say too much about my winter anthology except that it is actually a bit of a spin-off of a story I have written in the past. It's going to delve into history a bit, but it's definitely befitting of the theme. Speaking of past stories, I al
Well, I haven't been posting blogs much lately. I have a new addiction. It's called Star Kingdoms. Basically, you get to build a military and, along with your allies, destroy targets. We're in the midst of war. I love it! Ash (Demetz) is to blame, because he told me about SK, so now you all know why I'm not on GA as much.
Since there is only one poem this time, I figured I would post the link here. This one is called "The Tears of Solitude". Feel free to leave reviews, and as always, feel free to drop by the Impressions and Reflections topic. Feel free to critisize if you must! I like feedback, and that includes constructive criticism.
