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The good and the bad

Entries in this blog

Sigh

Conflicted... yes that would be the word. For so many years, I lived in the KC area (with a short interlude in SEMO). Now I'm in Texas. I like it here, but sometimes I miss home. It's like there's a small void there. I don't regret leaving. I feel a lot happier here most of the time. But I see myself wondering what the future will bring. Will I end up staying in Texas? I don't really know. It's like there's still something missing in my life, a void that has been eating at me for a long time. I

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A challenge to myself

Now I realize this sounds like a real challenge, but I want to write a lesbian scene. No, I'm not kidding! I may be gay, but making love is beautiful, and I want to challenge myself to write a scene like this. Even though I firmly am gay, about 99% or so, I think my curiosity gets the best of me. I actually want to watch two lesbians make love. Now coming from a straight guy would make that statement all about being a total perv, but I think I have a much more objective perspective. First of all

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Condoms to Go

It's a name of an adult store in Dallas. Actually, there are several locations I need to go there and pick up some toys some time. And yes, it really does exist. I don't think I can post a link to it, though.

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What's wrong with me?

I'm starting to think that I must be boring, at least after a while. It's like people initially find me interesting but eventually get bored with me. I don't really understand it. Do I lack spontaneity and fun? That's what I'm starting to wonder. It seems to be an endless cycle, and in the end, I am left with a bad taste in my mouth and a complete lack of understanding of what went wrong. I guess I am overly impulsive at times, but aren't a lot of people? Isn't that human nature? The biggest que

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Alright... since it seems to be an issue

So, it seems that people want to minimize my bad experience. So now I'm just going to tell everyone what it was all about. Here's how it was. A couple of years ago I was really into this guy. He was a lot older than me. It was the summer after my dad died, so I was seeking older men. Here's the thing. He'd been raped repeatedly when he was a teen. Thus, he was scared. So basically, I got a total mind f**k from hell, and that's why I have serious issues where "closet cases" are concerned. I got h

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The Lonely Island

I just had to share this, though it's not for the kiddies. Thus, only a few can see it.    

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Finally!

Well, I have good news x3. I have a job now! I start on Tuesday. I have a new phone, and I've already taught myself how to text in very little time. I am going to be checking into some college classes on Saturday.

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The Century Mark

Well, it's finally here. This is my 100th blog entry officially, though I've actually deleted a few, so there have actually been more than that. I have a message for someone. I'm not going into detail or mentioning names, but when I find something distasteful, my conscience tells me to say something. People talk, and I know things. The first thing I want to say is that I think that it's rather rude to rub something in someone's face. Is it not enough to hurt someone? You think pouring salt into

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Some things that drive me nuts

#1: People who do the hot and cold thing. Okay, first of all, it seems pretty stupid. I am one who often let's people know what's on my mind. I prefer to know what's going on. My imagination can run wild. It makes it hard for me to sleep and just leads to confusion, frustration, and tension. Tell me how it is. Don't try to save face and avoid the issues. I am no some naive teenager. I'm an adult who just likes to know what's up. I hate mind games.   #2: Just because I don't get along with a pa

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Insurance agent? It does sound interesting...

Well, I've been trying to decide what I really want to do with my life. Recently, the thought occurred to me. Attaining a Life and Health Insurance license in Texas is something I need to look into. I am good at talking to people, and I love helping people. People need life insurance, and I believe I am capable of providing them with what they need. Here's the best part. I don't actually have to have a degree, yet an insurance agent can make $100,000 or more a year, and insurance is one industry

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Sun of God or Son of God? Part II

As it turns out, there are many similarities between Horus and Jesus. For examply, both were born to Virgins. Mary, or Miriam, was the mother of Jesus. She was a virgin according to scriptures, and this may have something to do with Virgo, the water bearer. Similarly, Horus was the son of Isis, an Egyptian godess who also was said to be a virgin. Both were said to be divinely the sons of gods. Horus was the son of Osiris, and Jesus was the son of Yehova in the form of The Holy Spirit. Both were

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Sun of God or Son of God? Part I

Now, I'm not one to bash religion as a general rule, but this video brings up some interesting thoughts. I just might research the "facts" represented in this video. I will let you all know what I find out.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aW2N46vf4Q&NR=1

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Can't get ahead

Okay, so I dropped my classes so I could move to Texas, and now they want like a ton of money, money I don't really have. Why does it seem that the whole world is out to get me? All I want is to get back into class and finish my college education. I guess it's just not in the cards for me.

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First time driving in Dallas

Today I went on an adventure. Before I left Kansas, my cousin wrecked my car. The car was a total loss, and I had to get another one. I found a car. However, in order to get there, we had to go north of Dallas. In fact it was the next town, Carrollton. I ended up buying a 1996 Buick LeSabre, and I love it! I did not drive to Dallas, but I did drive back to Waxahachie. I was nervous. The largest city I had driven in was Kansas City, Missouri. Just to put it into prospective, Dallas has a populati

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I'll stick around :-)

I'll be alright. I just want to take a breather. That's all. I'm actually working on a story, and I am hoping to have it done in time for the next anthology. The bad part is that I'm probably going to need a new editor, because I figure Jan is busy. I've enjoyed having him as an editor, but I want him to be able to do what he needs to do. If anyone is interested, shoot me a PM. I need a beta reader as well. I cannot say much is except that it's not my usual. It's not sci-fi or fantasy, and it's

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Unsure of what to do

Well, I am at a crossroad. First of all, I love this site, and have enjoyed working on various teams and projects. However, there have been major issues as of late, and I am considering something that I never thought I would, having my account disabled. This is not a decision I take likely, and I won't make it for at least a week. Right now I am feeling disenchanted due to some recent personality clashes, and while I still care about all involved, it's becoming too much to take. I am very sensit

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What happened to the fun guy?

I used to be a lot more fun. There could be a party just because I was around, and there was no need for any kind of mind-altering substances. People loved my sense of humor, and times were good. Then, I became depressed, and it totally affected my personality. It was as if I was a completely different person. I feel so lost right now, and I want to re-connect with my true self. I just don't know how. People don't even act the same around me anymore, and I think that I would be more like my old

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It's about time

I don't know if this ad has showed up in other areas, but I saw it yesterday, and I thought it was about damn time something like this was said on TV. I pretty well want to slap people across the face when they say something is gay. It's utterly infuriating. Anyway, ever since Wanda Sykes came out she's been doing a lot for the gay community and I applaud her actions.  

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One Week

It's official. I've been in Waxahachie, Texas for a week now. This is a very different place. Even the stop lights are weird! I shall explain. On most stoplights I have seen, the red light is at the top. The yellow light is just below it. The green is on bottom. However, that's not the case in Texas. In Texas, it goes from left (red) to right (green). Also, you are on likely to see a stop light that says "Left turn yield on green". Instead it says protected. I've figured out that it means you CA

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Greetings from Waxahachie

Well, I've been in Texas since early yesterday morning, and I am at the library of all places. They even have Wireless, so I can bring my laptop with me and sign in. I like it so far. The weather is nice. Now I just need to find myself a job and cowboy.

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First attempt at 2nd

Okay, it's extremely short, but I intend to write a longer one and post it either in an anthology or in e-fiction, but this is my first attempt at anything in 2nd person. Comments and advice are welcome.   You look at this sleepy town and wonder why you have not left. No one here understands you, so you decide it

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Three more days until life begins again

January 5th is the day I move. I'm excited, because I'm going to have the life I deserve. No longer am I going to be stuck in this stupid town that has nothing for me. No longer am I going to see the same old people in this sleepy town or hear an annoying train two blocks away at 7 o'clock in the morning. I know that if I play my cards right, I can have everything I want within a couple years. I can find a great southern guy to spend the rest of my life with and finally be free from the loneline

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Bad night

There comes a point where we look at our lives and think of how different things should be. For example, I should be able to find that special someone and stop being interested in the wrong ones. Deep down they're wrong in every single way, but I seem to be a masochist in that regard. My gut reaction is to push them away, but it never seems to work.   Meanwhile, I'm sick. That makes it even worse. I don't know what it is about alcohol, but my body overreacts to it. I rarely puke, but there ar

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Werewolf

I'm trying to set up the game. I've got some variations, but here are the basics. I've posted a sign up thread. Please sign up! This game is fun. I will choose the werewolves, including the leader, Velkan. Velkan can choose 4 players to be werewolves. However, he chooses one every other day. There will also be 2 seers and 2 fools. They can PM me to spy on one player each night. The seers will get the truth while I shall lie to the fools. There will also be a lover who chooses another. If one die

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