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About this blog

A place to open my mind and lay it on the table

Entries in this blog

What a whirlwind Weekend

Paya and I have had THE BEST weekend ever. And at the risk of making everyone throw up with our couple-cuteness, I thought I would recount the weekend here for everyone to enjoy - especially because the last time we visited London was the UK GA meet in August.   On Thursday I met Paya at Manchester airport. His plane was early and my train was late, resulting in a nice meeting alongside one of those "rolling road" people movers (the flat escalators). We took a train back to the city that li

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It's a beautiful day :D

So no blog for months and months and months - and then 3 come along at once.   So last week I had a job interview. Actually, it was a SECOND interview. You might recall that I had a few issues in my job, and actually over the last 6 months have gone from being Head of Department to being an (albeit highly paid) consultant-manager. Wheres before I had anywhere between 20 and 45 staff dependent on requirements, now I have just myself and my assistant.   So, i have been thinking for a while

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London 2011, and 365 Days

Most of you will know that there was a GA meet in London this weekend. For those of you who followed the evolution of the idea to meet, originally, it was emulated who suggested that it would be great to get all the UK members together. so the first things is; UK people were in the minority. In fact, we had a pretty diverse coverage (forgive me if I miss anything):   England Czech Republic France Australia Finland Netherlands And most exotic of all.... Deepest darkest Wales! It w

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Democracy at work

I haven't written a blog in a while - if i'm being honest i have been trying to "withdraw" from the GA community slightly more over the last few months for various reasons. However, I though this was important enough to break my silence, and so I want to take the time up front to thank anyone who takes the time to read the below.   A few weeks ago, the united kingdom government launched an "e-petition" site, where basically you can submit a title of a petition, and once it receives over 100,0

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The first of many....

Tomorrow is a very special day for me. when I joined GA in April last year, i was lost. I was very much alone and very desperate.   Successful at my job, mainly because in the absence of a life (and love) i worked 15-18 hour days. I was even on occasion taking an extra set of clothes to work, catching 3 hours sleep on the couch in my office, and then starting all over again. I was a mess. I wasn't eating, I had no friends, no social outlet. The person I was closest to in the world was m

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For those who may be politically interested

Earlier this month, the HM Government passed the electoral reform bill. This contained a number of reforms, but the two main points are (1) Equalization of the sizes of constituencies, (2) a reduction int he overall number of MP's and (3) a referendum on a change in the voting system.   Our current voting system is called "First Past The Post" or FPTP, which is to say, you cast your vote, and the person with the most votes wins. It's relatively simple, and actually the vast majority of natio

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Something sure to cheer you up ....

it always works for me....   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSveKqj1IRQ         *** edit - apologies, changed the video, as i only cared about the lyrics, i didn't realize how appalling the original video was....    

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General update

Some of you might have seen my last blog entry which basically said that I was being made redundant from my role at work....   Well, yesterday I was informed by my Divisions MD/CEO that there was never any question of me leaving the company I work for, and that effective next week I would be moving to work for the senior management team supporting bid work and looking at financial controls.   I should be happy I guess..... it's a huge compliment. but for two reasons i'm a little disappointe

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Stressful times

I am, if i'm not too immodest, quite successful career-wise. I'm 26, and without the advantage of having training or a degree, I have risen to quite a senior position within a large company. I have worked very hard, and put my blood sweat and tears (and 18 hour days) into one company. I have completed tasks that were, shall we say, morally grey? I have subjugated my conscience and my pride in order to further the aims of the "company".   Last week, I was informed my role was redundant.  

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I tried to start writing..... honest

WARNING - THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO POINT TO THIS POST   I woke up at 4am this morning. I just couldnt sleep....   So i started writing...... creating character profiles..... and then i thought (being an IT Geek) - wouldn't it be great to have a place to store all my story notes..... so by 9am I had a database structure in place. I know there are already programs out there, but they are inferior to me simply because   (1) I didn't design those ones   (2) I can get to be my own Database A

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10 New Years Resolutions....

OK. So, I'm writing yet another blog entry. Mainly becuase my Paya is working and in an effort to support him I'm trying to be less demanding of his time. It's true - i'm an attention whore. So I'm being a good boy and distracting myself while my man does what he needs to do.   'tis the season then..... NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS....     This is the year I get fit and healthy. Not just for me, but for Paya too. Just before Christmas, the doctors managed to get to the bottom of some me

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Have I told you lately....

Relationships. To embrace the cliche - no man is an island. Nobody exists in a vacuum. When you accept someone into your life, you do so in the knowledge that they have had a life before you - and in my case, he has lived 27 years before he met me. He has a life, habits, friends and family that all exist outside of (and indeed before) his love for me came into being.   One of the important things about a relationship, is the ability of each partner to "fit" into the life of the other. This

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Planes, Trains and Automobiles

I woke up at 3am - which incidentally was only 10 minutes before my alarm. Dont tell Paya, but I only got to bed at 11pm, despite assurances that I would try to get some solid sleep. My mother - god bless her - took me to the airport. For those of you who live over the pond, you might not be aware that much of Europe has been at a standstill due to Heavy Snowfall. There are about 8 inches of snow (dont ask me how i measured ) where I live, but fortunately, the drive to the airport was prett

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Grandma's are magic

Yesterday I went out for Dinner with my Mum and my Grandma.  it was delicious thank-you very much.  We had a traditional English Roast Dinner, a few glasses of wine and a good time was had by all of us.  But....   Why is this the subject of a blog?  Well, to answer that, I need to tell you a little about my Grandma.  Well, the first thing is, she is totally unflappable.  There is nothing you could say to her that would shock her - at least not visibly.  She has brought up 12 children of her own

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A sickly, soppy birthday wish

Ladies and Gentlemen.   Today, the most important person in my life turns 27. It is a milestone to be sure, but not usually an important one. For us though, 27 is THE most important. I explain why further on.   I gave Paya a small gift, with the following inscription (well, a similar inscription, this one slightly edited)   -------------------   Today is a special day, of a special month of a very special year. Today you are 27 years old. You have never been 27 before, and never will you

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10 Things you probably didn't know about me....

Im bored... so:   I have a passion for History. Specifically British Military History. I have a few hundred books on the subject in case anyone is interested ... Linked to the above, I have a fascination with the English Raj in India I have a collection of books that is too big for my home; they are currently in storage. I have read all of them. Before I had an "enlightening experience", It was my intention to become a Roman Catholic Priest I can trace my lineage on one side of the

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Thoughts on the Czech Republic

I am currently at Prague Airport (though I will probably post this once I get home). The only observation I will make about Paya and I (to ensure you aren

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A story i'm thinking of telling....

I have wondered a million times how to start this story, whether to start it at all. I think I need to write this for me, but at the same time I would hope it speaks to someone.   Once I decided to write this story

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Economic Realities....

This has been a difficult week for me. You may be hearing a lot about "the economic recovery", but private companies such as the one I work for are alwasy going to seek to cut costs where possible. Earlier this month I found that the department which I lead was merging with another. I was asked to lead the resultant department, but at the same time cut staffing numbers by 40%. Over the next month, as more "mini deptartments" also transfer to my control, I am being asked to make process impro

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The First Goodbye

It was the longest walk, And I faught back the tears as hard as i could, But in the end a a dam could not hold the water,   He held my hand, and tried to make small talk, Knwing that the dreaded moment, was mere minutes away...   I felt his finger, stroking my palm conveying so many words, Words I could not say, Let alone think   My tears came harder.   We were surrounded by people, But were incredibly alone. Just Him and Me - and this silent dread...   We came to the end of th

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I'm ... COMING OUT... so you better get the party started !

I did something impulsive and irrational today. Not like me at all. Normally I am calm, rational and incredibly deliberate in my actions.... but since meeting paya i have learned to be more spontaneous.... and to live in the moment more...   And so I was having coffee with my mum, and the converation went something like this...   Me: "Mum, i wanted to tell you that im in a relationship..."   Mum: " About time, thats wonderful"   Me: "Mum, its with a boy"   Mum: "So...?"   So my

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Giving up your inhibitions....

OK.... this is the easiest blog i've ever had to write.   My wonderful boyfriend wrote an entry yesterday - and for all you perv's out there... im not gonna give any extra details.   Friday was the first day of the rest of my life... When I saw paya through coming out of the airport terminal, i was terrified. We were both nervous - and made stupid small talk to try and calm down... it didn't work. The first time I felt truly at ease was when i decided to grasp the nettle and to hell with c

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Moons and Junes and Feeling Proud....

I started this blog, thinking that I was embarking on a journey... learning to accept myself, learning to love myself, and learning who I am. I genuinely didn't think that I would move forward so quickly. I didn't expect things to change as quick as a switch flicking in my head. But they did. Because I was struck by a thunderbolt.   Don't worry - I'm not gonna make you all sick by writing a sycophantic tribute to my guy and how wonderful he is. I think most of you who read this will alrea

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I am a real life gay....

Soooo... Im a fool. An idiot. and its been that way for 10 years.   10 years since i first slept with a man. But in a world obsessed by labels, and in a world where homosexuality was a sin, i convinced myself that I was bisexual. And it made things easier. Becuase to me, I was at least half "normal" - and it meant that i could live my life in a relatively conventional way.   Don't get me wrong - women are beautiful. I like to look, stare, devour their beauty with my eyes. But in fairn

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