Like most people, I lost my father and it turned my world upside down. It is hard to deal with the death of a parent. It was when my mom passed. I stepped in and for 12 years I have taken care of my dad. No dates, no life, just work and helping him.
With his passing it was rough. It hurt worse in February when my job cut 5,000+ people due to Corona. Sent me into a depression. There were days where getting out of bed was the accomplishment of the day.
I finally have pulled everything t
The past two months have taken a toll on me. There has been a lot of change.
11 years ago my mother passed. At the time I lived in Connecticut, but one call changed it.
Not even a year later my father called and asked me to move back home. He didn't want to be alone. I was 40.
Moving home seen the end of my dating, a rare night out every six months or so, and running to doctors for him or me. I had eye surgeries, a triple bypass, and felt the pressure to keep him going.
I hea
Okay, so approximately two and half months ago my part of the world shut down. Public transport became empty, restaurants shut down, doctor offices closed, and life as we knew it came to a standstill.
My job also closed but I was lucky, the pay kept rolling in. Then a month and a half in the company furloughed all part-timers and 20% of the full timers. However, once again I was lucky and the pay keeps coming in. They decided last week to reopen. We are paid for 36 hours and any hours we a
Hello old friend.
It's just you and me now.
They are all gone, but their words repeat unending.
I hear their words, but they're long gone.
I don't care, I love him, I cant stay, you're uncaring, you're worthless, you're unlovable.
Hello old friend.
I have my plastic smile in.
Their shades haunt my days and torment my nights.
If you smile while you cut all ties they dont notice.
You're alone, you're unknown, you're unremarkable, they don't see, they d
I have had a really hard time getting over a recent relationship. I even have gone to therapy.
This weekend I was cleaning and my father noticed the boxes in front of the pictures I kept up from my ex. He opened it and found the rings I'd bought for us. He looked and noticed only one was engraved.
"Why only one?"
I looked and spotted what he was holding. I swallowed my feelings. "Because mine was engraved with my promises to him."
He read it and walked out.
Guess inste
It is April, it's rainy, and it isn't helping my mood.
Well, we are already a third of the way through the year. It seems I won't make it to June before hearing I need surgery like I have the last two years. Going to see my eye doctor about cataract surgery. Are we having fun yet?
I find a lot of my life is slipping into my writing. I'm doing my best to camouflage it the only way I can, but I think, at least in some ways, that is normal. Just doing what I can to get things done before
New year - same me but trying new ways.
After a horrendous year last year I needed help and have been talking. Hard admitting one is only human. It also helps to hear or be reminded that there are two or more sides to any story, and while your choices are your own, sometimes the things leading up to it,and the choices others make after it you aren't responsible for.
In other news I'm working on three projects. A story for the anthology using Seeon and the Waza family. A n
I'm terrible at keeping a blog.
Then again I'm terrible or so I've been told.
I'm feeling older than ever. Work has been crazy. Considering I work the return desk, this is crunch time. Long hours, little sleep, and worry about friends drains what reserves I have.
Add that I have a cold and blah.
My circle of close friends grows smaller and I know a few people are concerned. Considering my health and the end of a seven year relationship and friendsh
We are barely into November and the holidays are right around the corner. For most, this is the happiest time of the year. Unfortunately, I am looking at the loss of friends.
This year has been rough. I've faced my own mortality, my own stupidity, and then death kept knocking.
I was barely out of the hospital, when a young soldier found military life didn't suit him. He wrote to tell me he was sorry, but he had too much blood on his hands and the next thing I heard was he
HI all.
I figured I would let everyone know I'm still alive and functioning. Just been a bad year.
I have managed to get some stories done. Luckily I did them early. This has been a year of things going boom. My car died. My computer dies. I became a full blown diabetic. I lost 70 pounds. I've been really sick, but I keep going.
I do apologize for not being around. Hopefully things will get better in 2017.
Wishing everyone all the best. Just know I'm thinking of you if not here
My mother used to joke that if it wasn't for bad luck I'd have none at all. Just want people to know I haven't faded away.
I'd had a temporary fix on the computer but before February was over so was the fix. Computer dead beyond repair. It's okay because I had been saving up.
First of March, the brakes on my car failed. There is nothing like coming to a red light,hitting your brakes, and not even slowing down. I've found out that when your brakes fail you don't coast to a stop. You just
Just a few notes.
1 - still no computer. For my friends from here who may wonder why they haven't gotten a card, um, my address list was on the computer. No computer, no lidt. Sorry. If you want resend me your address, I will be glad to send it.
2 - had some health issues I am dealing with. Part of why I don't have a computer yet.
3 - hope everyone is doing well.
Wayne
Happy Holidays
Just wanted people to know I am alive. My computer died and while saving to get another have had a few issues.
While I did do a story for the anthology I just have no way to type it up and get it done. This will be the first anthology since I joined that I haven't done. When I get my computer I will do it anyway.
For those who haven't gotten a Christmas card, I'm sorry. Most of my addresses were saved on my computer and when it died so did my list. I am hoping to get things together but
For a change I don't want to complain or talk about my life. I want to talk about my writing.
Lately my muse has been active. Which is really nice. What this means for my readers.
1) I have a new Halloween story coming up shortly. Like some of those from my past, it will be a one shot, but hopefully it will be something people can enjoy. Instead of the usual stories about witches, zombies, vampires, or werewolves, I decided to go a little different. My tale is called Halloween - Lilith S
I'm tired but can't sleep and I have to be up again in just seven hours.
My mind is on the go and right now I can't get it to quiet. Too many things to deal with, too many things to wish for, too many bills to pay, too many demands, and above all far too little time and too little me. Ideas and Ideals, stories, obligations, dreams, and hopes swirl around me like some dizzy kaleidoscope of the unknown and the often traveled.
I have been informed that I am now the only one in my family - g
Having issues sleeping.
My back is slowly healing. I'm hoping to be back to work soon.The pain is still there, but I'm staying off the pills.
I had a friend who sort of hit the wall. It is scary to think someone you care about no longer sees light but only darkness. Trying to keep them grounded long enough to find help isn't easy, especially when you aren't close distance wise. I'm not sure I can keep doing this without breaking myself.
Ever have so much happening and yet nothing.
Seems my life has is more of a rollercoaster ride than anything else. Things had been getting back to normal. I was writing, Dad was back to his routine, JJ seemed happy to be walked and stay around us. Then I went to work Monday and all of it went out the window.
I went to lift a printer off the floor and pulled the muscles in my back setting off all sorts of pain. I hadn't seen stars or pain levels like this since I had originally hurt my back two years ago. Tuesday I was barely moving bu
When you have health issues you like to go to the doctor, be told they found the problem and told how to fix it. Fix it can be drugs or diet, you don't care as long as your problem can be fixed.
Mine seems to just keep going.
My primary sent me for blood work, a sonogram, and other tests. He found new issues but not what was causing my original problem. He sent me to a specialist, a GI doc. Today that is where I was. He reviewed the tests I'd been sent for and then has ordered my first e
I prefer to focus on the odd.
This morning the washing machine died. It had a long life. It gave its all trying to wash a load of my father's underwear and socks. Middle of the cycle a belt went and the machine seized. My father dutifully woke me up to tell me, help him go down and drain it, then take all the wash we could find down to the local laundromat and do it.
Tomorrow he wants to go shopping.
Today I am going to recycle the cans and plastics, pick up something to cook for din
Just felt I haven't said much in a while. Time for a bit of an update.
I have been dealing with dad. He isn't fully recovered and I guess this is my new reality with him. Life isn't exactly as it was, but at least it isn't as bad as it could be. He is about 90% back to normal. Balance is slightly off and he has mood swings. Part of what he is like now.
My own health is all over the place. The doctor wants me to go for some tests. Not sure for what now but always not a good sign.
I'm
Funny, I knew the date and tried hard to put it off. Dad and I just don't talk about it, but he has it worse than I do. Remembering my mother. Today would have been her 75th birthday. He went to bed a few hours ago. I don't think either of us mentioned it at all to each other. I couldn't let the day go without saying something. I posted it on Facebook and I am commenting here.
Next week I know he will want to go to the grave site. The snow should be gone and it will be their anniversary. Mar
Shh. Don't tell anyone but I started to do that thing called writing again. I am doing multiple things at once so unsure how it is going.
Chapter 16 of Jonas is with the editor and beta.
Finishing three stories to be sent for possible publication.
Working on the final chapter of Seeon. (Anyone even remember that one?)
Have a new prompt piece I'll be putting up later.
All of this and a terrible cold on top of it. Who knows, might actually finish another story then try to find
I've worked hard this year and there are spots where I just can't seem to get ahead. Sometimes it is my fault and sometimes I have help.
I am way behind because with my now way overdue holiday packages I plan to send something homemade. I bought bananas and had pumpkin ready to go so I could make my breads. I left in the am, getting done early for a change, figuring everything would be cooked finally tonight. Dad tossed my bananas saying they had started to turn brown (which is when the suga
Unlike so many on here, I never really consider my work worth publishing. Face it, unlike so many others who have reached the hosted level, most of my work is in the field of short stories. Even among short stories I have a tendency to go for Fairy Tales.
However I have watched so many authors I admire from here take the plunge one after the other. Andy, KC, Cia, Renee, Nephylim, and so many others have parlayed their work into longer pieces and sold them.
I was considering gathering all
I don't know about anyone else but this year can be over, and it isn't soon enough for me.
Just to recap the worst highlights - Dad went into the hospital in October with massive blood loss. I was up every day for over two weeks before I went back to work and really needed a break from my break. Dad then went to rehab after three weeks in the hospital. He remembers ambulance rides to the hospital and to the rehab center but not the time spent there. HE will finally come home from rehab on Ne
