So what is it about attraction? To be fair I think if we each made an effort to answer this question, it'd be pretty interesting to see the differences for each of us.
Lets not just consider the basic principles of attraction ie. looks or personality, but actually drill down to think about the specifics of what it is that we consider to be the things that make us stop and take a closer look.
I've often thought about this, as to be honest, if I go onto a website full of an array of men, and were to choose ten men that I considered good looking, they'd all appear totally different.
It's strange to me sometimes when I stop to consider what it is about looks that means I think of someone as being attractive. I've also noticed it largely depends on my mood at the time I am looking. I've found that people I've thought 'Yes' to today, when I might have been looking through rosy coloured glasses considering I was in a more 'frisky' mood, becomes a very definite 'no go' the following day when I check him out under normal circumstances.
I guess the real truth is that while looks certainly do play a huge part in attraction, there is so much more to attraction and then you really need to consider exactly what it is that you want out of the person your admiring.
As a general rule there are some trends that I've begun to notice. While they do play a major part in what I predominantly consider attractive, they are most certainly not exclusive as there is an exception to every rule.
Some of the things that I really go for you might consider a little strange, but then these are the things I look for in a guy so hey, wind your neck in! After all, I'm sure if you really thought about it, you'd have a couple of strange one's yourself.
Ok. One of the biggest things that seems to get my attention very quickly is thick, dark eyebrows. I'm not talking about a mono brow, but I do mean a wide, manly eye brow. I do not tend to go for plucked, neat eyebrows, although there are some good looking men who do have shaped eyebrows.
I like fairly long dark hair as a rule. Blondes while cute are not really the first thing I'd go for, however there are some stunning beautiful blonde men. But predominantly I've always gone for thick dark haired men.
I love a tanned or olive skin. There is just something so sexy and healthy about a good tan on the skin. Maybe this is from my African heritage, but the white pastiness of a life in the colder regions looks dull too me.
Within the world of Gay Sex I'm what you'd call a Pitcher or a Top generally. I've been known to be versatile, but only for someone very special. So from that point of view, I'm not really worried much by what hangs between a man's legs, but more alert to what minces behind him. I can hear you all rather indignantly telling me you "Don't Mince".
One of my favourite lines out of a movie is said by Nicolas Cage and taken from the film Face Off. He says to one of the air hostesses on a flight, "I love peaches. I could eat a peach for hours." It's no wonder then that I have a thing for a lovely peachy bum! Nah let's be honest, some guys really have a nice rear end, and there is nothing better than thinking about what i'd do with.................
I've never really been into muscle. It just doesn't do it for me. I like a guy to have a bit of meat about them, ie. not to be too skinny. Probably what most people would call average build.
So those are the more specific things that I tend to look more closely for. Yes eyes, smile, height, style, are things I do take heed of, but are not of major importance in my ideal man.
Hell how long is a piece of string?
There are some things that really make a man stand out from the crowd though.
I love a 'cheeky chappie'! There is nothing better than a whitty nature, banter with someone that likes to tease and 'come back' at you with cleaver talk. This is the kind of person that I can bounce off of well.
I also like a talker. As a fairly quite, probably shy guy, I'm not the kind that will make the first move, nor speak without being spoken too, especially in the first instance. Partly as a result of the way I was brought up, partly due to a lack of self confidence. I've always struggled to say anything to someone that I fancy.
And that is pretty much the main things that I look for in a man.
Does that make me picky? Probably! I mean they are rather specific pointers, but to be fair, I'm not sure that I've ever found anyone that's had all of them in one go. We tend to settle for what comes along, and adapt to suit the circumstances of each relationship we form.
I'd really be interested to know what things you look for. Not the basics though, take a bit of time to think about the specifics.
We all want a man who's honest, magnanimous, loyal, loving, romantic....etc, etc, etc...
Thanks for reading.
Thought for today - "Sticks and stones are hard on bones; Aimed with angry art. Words can sting like anything; But silence breaks the heart." - Phyllis McGinley from The Ballad of Lost Objects 1954.
Song for today - Time to Pretend by MGMT [media=]