For this to make sense, i guess I need to start this sojourn of a blog around 10 years ago. I was in college (6th form college, to you guys out there in the US) and i had moved out on my own into a really terrible "bedsit" flat. My studies were just coming to an end and it seemed to me that my world had fallen apart.

I spent my entire childhood assuming that I would become an English teacher (actually, not true: I did briefly flirt with the thought of becoming a priest, and got a fair way down the line before I pulled back). But at this point in my life, I found that although my grades were good enough, i just didn't have the money to go to university. Supporting myself and somewhat estranged from my parents, the process for applying for grants and bursaries and loans was complex, and in truth with the trauma of leaving home I had left it slightly late.

And so it was that I found my dream of going to university falling through my fingers.

You have no idea what that was like for me. Let me be clear, back then, failing was not an option. If life has a target, I expected to hit the bullseye every time. So after a lot of soul searching, I got a full time job. And I knew I was going to succeed: i was going to work harder than everyone else and for longer hours. I was going to put every ounce of my life into that job. And I did.

When you read my CV/resume/LinkedIn profile what will strike you first is that I achieved some kind of promotion in each of the subsequent 8 years. I put everything into that company and the job, going from a guy with 4 A-Levels, to a senior manager within a discipline (IT) that I had never even considered.

As some of you will know, I made a career changing break last year to take on a role in London, and with it Paya moved over here with me. The job I have now has significantly less responsibility, but more money. I work 6 hours a day at the most, and get to travel a lot and entertain clients. its a pretty perfect scenario, because it has given me a luxury: TIME

And it has made me realise just how much I neglected when my career - being successful - was my only goal. Apart from online, I don't actually have any friends. I had hundreds of "colleagues" at my old job, but not a single one of them I could class as a friend now. I let my health suffer. Certainly, there are times before I met Paya that I drank too much. I slept too little. I ate junk food (usually pizza on the sofa in my office at 2am). I literally NEVER visited a gym. I got by on 3 hours sleep and a huge amount of caffeine (both in coffee and tablet form).

Since I moved to london, I feel like I've got something back. I'm more relaxed. I'm happier (though that certainly has a lot to do with having Paya here with me). I'm finally starting losing weight. I haven't had a single take-out in six months. I drink less (both coffee and alcohol).

This year will be the third I spend with Paya. It really strikes me as crazy that my life has changed quite so much. I see much more clearly now that my perspective has shifted away from my career, and more towards OUR home life - there's nothing so magical as being in love.

West