My uncle passed away on Sunday after a long battle with cancer. He was 69. It's hit me pretty hard, even though we weren't particularly close. In fact, my first memories of him aren't pleasant at all. When I was a kid we lived in a house with an inground pool. I hated that stupid pool. My parents had my brother and I take swimming lessons at the Y because neither of us knew how to swim. Those lessons were torture. I don't have specific memories of the lessons, but I do remember that the instructors weren't very nice. I didn't like putting my head under water, so my dear ol' dad decided that the way to teach me was to hold me underwater. So needless to say, I didn't like swimming. Whenever my aunt, uncle, and cousins came to visit my uncle thought it was great fun to chase me until I ended up jumping in the pool. If he caught me, he'd throw me in. I don't think he had any idea how much I hated it when he did that. And people wondered why I liked to spend time in my room when my dad's family came over.

My uncle lived in a rural area on a non-working farm. They had a goat, dogs, and cats, but that was it as far as animals. I loved spending time there. My brother and I would go spend the day or night with my cousins and we would spend the time exploring the countryside. It was great for a country girl at heart. The only thing that marred those times would be when my uncle got drunk and yelled at my oldest cousin. He was a Vietnam vet and an alcoholic. My aunt was in staunch denial about his alcoholism. It wasn't until maybe fifteen/twenty years ago that he had a heart attack and was forced into sobriety. To his credit, he remained sober until he died.

What always amazed me about his family was that despite his gruff exterior, he raised an exceptional family. My cousins are some of the sweetest, nicest people I know. Two of them followed his footsteps into the military. My one cousin was honorably discharged after a motorcycle accident ended his career. My other cousin is still in the Army, having earned his medical degree and is now completing his service.

A lot has come to light about my dad's family over the past few years. It is the stuff of horror novels. It's no wonder that almost all of them became alcoholics over the years. I always admired my dad for overcoming his origins and not succumbing to alcoholism like both of his brothers and his parents. It turned out that that he was suffering from a different addiction - one we didn't learn about until four years ago, but that's a topic for a different blog post.

The wake for my uncle is Thursday. I am going to go pay my respects to my cousins and my aunt. It is going to be a very difficult day for me, since it will be the first time I'll see my dad in almost four years. I feel like I owe it to my uncle, for despite our rough beginnings, I can see he was a good-hearted man who will be sorely missed by all who knew him.