I'm not angry.

GREEN

I'm not angry.

 

GREEN

Yes there is a god

Now make up you too... wait I bet you two are doing that as I send this message in.

Chaz and Green,

First of all Chaz, hugs, big hugs.....you said you are there for your brother but you are whom you are and he is whom he is. Individuals. I believe with therapy and time your twin will come around. He has a long journey ahead of him. I am wondering if his coldness and distance relates (and I bet it does) and the walls he built up around him to the abuse he suffered. You suffered it to but you knew and accepted at an early age that you are Gay and knew that when you found love you were going to grab onto it and not let it go.

I sense that your twin has always known he is Gay but felt he couldn't express it, had a lot of self loathing and fear. He was under the mistaken impression for most of his life that the sexual predator made him Gay and he may associate being Gay with that incident. So, to me, he has a long long road ahead of him to love himself first and then his family and will probably shed the old friends and find more loving accepting ones.

I know that you will be there for him and fortunately you have amazing parents who will be there for him to. In the end, I know that his walls and barriers and pain (he clearly has a lot of pain) will hopefully come down and be replaced by self acceptance and love.

You are in a far different place and have a lot of love to not only give but you receive lots of love. I also know that you will be there for your twin as he goes through his therapy (and I sure hope he decides to see a therapist.)

I also hope that you continue with therapy and find a therapist you trust.

One thing I have to say is I found your words to your brother very healthy. I am proud of you that you know that you are not responsible for what happened. That to me is huge! Even more proud of the fact that even though you suffered abuse that you are so loving and giving and refuse to let that abuse keep you down.

Green is a lucky man to have you in his life and you are lucky to have Green in yours......Just remember that you do love each other and Green its important to communicate. I don't say this next to get you upset since I am sure that you were major league upset but things like locking oneself in a room without letting Chaz know that you are not angry or upset you just need to decompress can lead to a bad comedy of errors and bad assumptions where others can assume you are so upset that you are done with Chaz etc...and then well the drama gets worse and the pain gets worse and the laws of unintended consequences get worse and someone says oh yeah (usually someone without the facts) Green is pissed and angry (when you said you aren't) and then assumptions escalate and Chaz assumes you dumped him and bags are packed or you take off again...well you get the drift....

I am glad you are not angry and love your Chaz man:)

Good luck to all and I hope no one is physically hurt.....

Hugs to all:)

Michael

"You are gay you have to face that now. I know that it isn