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Depression, Bob Dylan, And The Future


CarlHoliday

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I really don’t know where this is going. I’m out of words to put into my current stories and so I resort to listening to music. My choice tonight is Bob Dylan. I could have chosen The Beatles, Eric Clapton, or The Travelling Wilburys, but I didn’t. I’m not really into modern music because there seems to be no logic to the available choices. Music can go only so far until it starts to repeat itself.

 

If anything, I’m at a loss to what might happen in the future. My only point of reference at this moment in time is the removal of the bit of cancer on my left ear on January 29 and my next appointment with my psychiatrist on October 4. My legs and feet are swollen so much that I can barely bend my knees to put on my socks. My feet are so swollen that walking is somewhat difficult. Looking on Google, I might be in the early stages of heart failure. My father died of stage 4 prostate cancer compounded by congestive heart failure. He was 52 when he died, I’m 67. That he was an alcoholic probably went a long way to contributing to his death. Technically, I’m still an alcoholic.

 

At this point in time I am suffering from a significant level of depression. I’ve been here before and know what it feels like. It’s debilitating in its overall effect upon my psyche and day to day life. There are many things I’d like to do, but I can’t. The only positive thing in my life at this moment in time is my first Social Security check being deposited in my bank account in December. With any luck, I’ll be able to begin traveling in 2018 or 2019. I look forward to taking a train trip, even if it is only as far as Chicago.

 

I will continue to attempt to keep adding to the stories that I am posting to GA, but for all intents and purposes I cannot promise future if additions will be posted in any convenient timeframe. That is as much as I can promise at this time.

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  • Site Administrator

Have you seen your doctor about the swelling in your legs?  If not, I would make an appointment asap.  I hope things go on the upswing for you soon. :hug: 

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Hang in there.

As for your writing and words and modern music :

There are meds for heart failure and for the depression and heart break may be more music :

Hugs and Chocolates.

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