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Stuff on my mind


I'm trying to get the hang of this blog thing. This is my second attempt. I have no idea what happened the first time.  

So anyway, I've had a lot on my mind lately and I'm not sure how to sort it out in my head. It seems the whole world has flipped upside down and we're living in an alternate universe. 

My world had already been in turmoil before all this other stuff happened. 

There's nothing more shocking than to find out your child was molested by a trusted family member when he was only four or five years old. The poor kid pushed it back in his mind for many years until his brain just couldn't take it anymore. Then there's the phone call from the school telling us we need to have our son evaluated at a mental health hospital. 

This all happened in the fall. We were blindsided and we're still dealing with the fallout. My son is in therapy (remotely until the stay at home orders are lifted) and is doing well. 

There's not much that will cut a mother's heart to pieces more than finding out her child was suicidal. Thankfully he's getting the support he needs. Meanwhile my husband and I are stuck with sorting things out on our own for the time being. Our support group meetings are on hold. 

I will NEVER understand how an adult can consciously choose to hurt a child. It goes way beyond my scope of trying to figure it out. Especially when the offender is someone you trusted implicitly and admired. Not anymore. 

The shit hit the fan this past fall. I was getting used to a new job and I was finishing up 'A Decision for Jarren' and had a hard time focusing. After it was finished my mind was constantly in turmoil. Our group therapy helped and now I'm at a point where I'm writing again.  

I'm working on a two part story, 20 chapters each, roughly 5000 words per chapter. I'm happy to report that I'm halfway finished with the first book and I'm hoping to start posting by the end of the month. 

It's been cathartic. Writing soothes me and let's me get lost for a little while. I'm really glad I  found this site. I  love the stories and the camaraderie between authors and readers. 

Thanks for letting me vent.

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spyke

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Thank you for sharing such an intimate glimpse into your life.  I hope that your family can continue getting the help that you need. I don't think that anyone fully "recovers" or "heals" from such a horrific trauma, but my wish for you and your family is that you find peace and a way forward. 

While writing is "cathartic" and allows you to get lost for a little while, reading for me has the exact same effect.  You and the other amazing authors on GA may not realize how many of us need a bit of diversion and escape particularly when life as you know it gets derailed and your brain gets overloaded and overwhelmed.  I'm sure that you can relate.  Thanks so much for the stories that you've written. I look forward to your next creations.  And a shout out to @Wayne Gray for the subtle direction to your blog.  

 

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