My Daily Bread Crumbs 08 Apr 2022

Entry posted by sandrewn in Bread Crumbs 250 April 9, 2022

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April 8th 2022 - Holidays and Observances

(click on the day for details)

Buddha's Birthday, also known as Hana Matsuri, "Flower Festival" (Japan)
Christian feast day:
- Anne Ayres (Episcopal Church (USA))
- Constantina
- Julie Billiart of Namur
- Perpetuus
- Walter of Pontoise
- William Augustus Muhlenberg (Episcopal Church (USA))
- April 8 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics)
Earliest day on which Fast and Prayer Day can fall, while April 14 is the latest; celebrated on the second Friday in April (Liberia)
International Romani Day

Observances

On my way to a picnic, I stopped at a fast food place to order a quart of potato salad. "We don't sell it by the quart," the clerk snapped.

"Okay, then give me two pints, please," I replied.

I'm proud to say I held my tongue when she asked, "Do you want it in one container?"

***

I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. "This is where the judge sits," I began, pointing to the bench. "The lawyers sit at these tables. The court clerk sits over there. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. As you can see," I finished, "there are a lot of people involved in making this system work."

At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, "Yeah, but I'm the one who makes it all happen."

***

My doctor friend moved his family to a small town in Montana. An Italian American raised in Philadelphia, he wanted his kids to enjoy clean the benefits of air and the outdoors. The locals were thrilled to have a doctor of their own, and were always inviting him and his family over for dinner.

During one visit, one of his daughters told a rancher's daughter, "We're Italian."

Somewhat confused, the little girl replied, "We're Ranch."

***

Four students walked in halfway through the American history test my father was giving at the local community college. "Sorry," they said, "we had a flat tire."

An understanding man, Dad said that if they could all answer just one question correctly, he would give them each an "A" for the exam. The students agreed.

So my father handed each one a piece of paper, placed them in four separate corners and said, "Write down which tire was flat."