MDBCs 02 Apr 2023

Entry posted by sandrewn in Bread Crumbs 609 April 2, 2023

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April 2nd 2023 - Holidays and Observances

(click on the day for details)

Christian feast day:
- Abundius of Como
- Amphianus of Lycia
- Æbbe the Younger
- Bronach of Glen-Seichis (Irish martyrology)
- Francis of Paola
- Francisco Coll Guitart
- Henry Budd (Anglican Church of Canada)
- Nicetius of Lyon
- Pedro Calungsod
- Theodosia of Tyre
- Urban of Langres
- April 2 (Eastern Orthodox liturgics)
International Children's Book Day (International)
Thai Heritage Conservation Day (Thailand)
Unity of Peoples of Russia and Belarus Day (Belarus)
World Autism Awareness Day (International)
Malvinas Day (Argentina)

Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)

National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

Explore Your Career Options Week

International Fact-Checking Day

National Children’s Picture Book Day

National Love Your Produce Manager Day

National Ride Your Horse to a Bar Day

When my wife and I were vacationing in the eastern part of our state, our car's license plate was stolen. We planned to go to a local office for a replacement, but then we discovered that our registration had expired. The new one was at home in a pile of mail.

After much thought, we came up with a solution. Taping a sign over the empty license-plate space on the rear of the vehicle, we made the eight-hour trip home safely. Not a single state trooper stopped us, but many passing motorists took great pains to honk and wave at us.

Our sign read "Just Married!"

***

As a fund-raiser, the chemistry club designed and sold T-shirts. Written across the front were our top "Stupid Chemistry Sayings":

• Have yourself a Merry Little Bismuth

• What do you do with dead people? Barium

• You stupid boron!

• We hope your year is very phosphorous.

***

My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community college. On his first night of class, he started a chapter on banking. During the course of his lecture, the subject of ATMs came up, and he mentioned that, on average, most machines contain only about $1,500 at a given time.

Just then a man in the back raised his hand. "I'm not trying to be disrespectful," he told my father, "but the machine I robbed had about $5,000 in it."

***

Touring Ireland's countryside with a group of travel writers, we passed an immaculate cemetery with hundreds of beautiful headstones set in a field of emerald green grass. Everyone reached for their cameras when the tour guide said the inventor of the crossword puzzle was buried there.

He pointed out the location, "Three down and four across."

***

My wife, Dolores, never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the orderly room and asked to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band rehearsal hall.

"He can be reached at 4700, ma'am," the soldier advised.

With a sigh of exasperation, my wife responded, "And just what time is that?"

***