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MDBCs 02 Apr 2023


sandrewn

166 views

April 2nd 2023 - Holidays and Observances

 

(click on the day for details)

 

Observances (click on the day, BD, or week for details)

National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

Day of the Veterans

Explore Your Career Options Week

 

 

 

Geologists Day

International Fact-Checking Day

National Children’s Picture Book Day

National DIY Day

National Ferret Day

National Love Your Produce Manager Day

National Reconciliation Day

National Ride Your Horse to a Bar Day

Nature Day

Palm Sunday

Pascua Florida Day

Semana Santa Spain

World Autism Acceptance Day

Education and Sharing Day

 

 

Traci Braxton’s Birthday

Shannon Boodram’s Birthday

Quavo Marshall’s Birthday

Marvin Gaye’s Birthday

Daniel Seavey’s Birthday

BadBoyHalo’s Birthday

 

 

***

 

 

When my wife and I were vacationing in the eastern part of our state, our car's license plate was stolen. We planned to go to a local office for a replacement, but then we discovered that our registration had expired. The new one was at home in a pile of mail.

After much thought, we came up with a solution. Taping a sign over the empty license-plate space on the rear of the vehicle, we made the eight-hour trip home safely. Not a single state trooper stopped us, but many passing motorists took great pains to honk and wave at us.

Our sign read "Just Married!"

 

***

 

As a fund-raiser, the chemistry club designed and sold T-shirts. Written across the front were our top "Stupid Chemistry Sayings":

• Have yourself a Merry Little Bismuth

• What do you do with dead people? Barium

• You stupid boron!

• We hope your year is very phosphorous.
 

***

 

My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community college. On his first night of class, he started a chapter on banking. During the course of his lecture, the subject of ATMs came up, and he mentioned that, on average, most machines contain only about $1,500 at a given time.

Just then a man in the back raised his hand. "I'm not trying to be disrespectful," he told my father, "but the machine I robbed had about $5,000 in it."

 

***

 

Touring Ireland's countryside with a group of travel writers, we passed an immaculate cemetery with hundreds of beautiful headstones set in a field of emerald green grass. Everyone reached for their cameras when the tour guide said the inventor of the crossword puzzle was buried there.

He pointed out the location, "Three down and four across."

 

***

 

My wife, Dolores, never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the orderly room and asked to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band rehearsal hall.

"He can be reached at 4700, ma'am," the soldier advised.

With a sigh of exasperation, my wife responded, "And just what time is that?"

 

 

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sandrewn :cowboy:

  • Haha 4

1 Comment


Recommended Comments

So, I'm roughly 2.5 billion seconds old.  I'd rather think of it in terms of dog years.  According to the AKC, I'm thirteen.  Sounds about right :) 

  • Haha 2
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