You know...as you get a bit older...you begin to see a bunch of ‘re-runs’ in the world. Or, at least in the world that the mysterious ‘they’ want to present to you. Hehehe, I’ve never understood the fascination, to be honest...trying to control public perception when reality is just….ummm...reality. It just seems so utterly exhausting to me. It’s like going through all of the trouble of kidnapping somebody, chaining them up in a basement with no windows, and soundproofing the whole room...just to tell them that it’s not raining outside when it’s obviously raining outside!

I’ve heard it a million times before at this point, and it simply doesn’t affect me anymore. Rap music is going to cause the downfall of society. Pornography will destroy the kids. Comic books will rot the minds of the youth. Violent video games, and horror movies, and Dungeons & Dragons, and witchcraft, and marijuana, and...and...and...

Ugh! There’s always SOMETHING to be absolutely terrified of at all times. With the very convenient exceptions of the dangers that make people insanely rich. I’ve seen it all...and it gets more tiresome every single time. But I digress….as a writer, there are going to be times when your heart rally wants to express itself and possibly talk about something that you really love and care about...but feel as though you can’t. You may want to tell your own personal story of your battle with drugs, or suicide, or physical or sexual abuse...and there goes that pesky peer pressure, looking over your shoulder every single step of the way and trying to scare you out of your sharing your voice. Not only that, but it’s constantly working on building an army of other people to view your art the same way...and I’m not going to lie...sometimes its going to suck. It really is.

Believe me...I’ve been hurt, ridiculed, and banned, more times than I can count online for that very reason. Even though the stories I write are about first love and are meant to be seen as a nostalgic return to what young love was like. Not just for me, but for what I expected it was like for all of us. And no matter how many positive comments, emails, and ratings, I’ve gotten over the years...that pressure is always there. Desperately exhausting itself, searching for ways to tear it all down and punish me for it all over again. Hehehe, it’s kind of funny when I think about it now...but nobody can say that ‘Comicality’ hasn’t taken his fair share of lumps for these stories over the years. Especially in the very beginning. Oh God, did some of those attack hurt! I’ve lost a lot of hard work, been insulted, publicly humiliated...like I said...it sucked. And I had to deal with that venomous shit for a long long time. In fact, if it wasn’t for GayAuthors finding me, offering me they’re support, and believing in me and what I was trying to do...I wouldn’t still be writing today. I wouldn’t even have a website right now after being blindsided by quite a few shutdowns and pointless witch hunts. But that’s just how hard this random backlash of strangers was working to see me fall. And I’m still here. I sort of look back on those times fondly now. In fact, if I had to go back and do it all over again, I doubt that I would change a thing.

That’s one of the downfalls of occasionally going against the grain when it comes to your personal expression. Especially when dealing with emotional issues that are very close to your heart. As I’ve mentioned before to many of you...while “My Only Escape” was a very difficult story for me to tackle and finally finish, seeing as it hit so very close to home...it wasn’t my first attempt at trying to write about my own experience with childhood abuse. I tried to approach it at some point in “New Kid In School”, and also in “Gone From Daylight”...but the pressure for me to stop intimidated me into shying away from the reality of it all. It was hard to hear those comments, but I had to buckle up and really tell my story the way the way that I felt it needed to be told. And that’s when “My Only Escape” was born into existence.

I understand the backlash from a bunch of readers concerning this series, and if you read some of the comments...it was pretty severe in some cases. They didn’t want to hear it, read it, see it, acknowledge it...many people told me that they refused to keep reading, I got some emails that were borderline threats concerning that story. But you know what? It needed to be told. And I was going to tell it. Period. The rest of the world, be damned.

Sometimes...going against the grain is needed. And that series has helped more people deal with their own trauma than you could ever imagine. I can take pride in that. Because I could have caved in and cut it short, never to write it again. It would have saved me a lot of anguish and been soooo much easier. But when has anything truly worthwhile ever been easy, right?

Please understand, a few years ago I wrote an article about ‘Writer Responsibility’...so I don’t want any of you to think that I’m not fully aware of my position on this chess board of writing stories just like the rest of you. I’m very cautious about crossing any lines that I think might do more harm than good. Especially when it comes to stories with my kind of erotic content and often being seen by a younger audience than some of the other authors out there have doing the same. So I don’t just write whatever I want to write without keeping that in mind. I would never want to inspire anyone to commit any crimes or acts of violence. I don’t want to lead anyone astray, or glorify self destructive behavior, if I can help it. That’s not my goal at all...and it’s definitely a part of my thought process when I’m even planning a story out in my head, much less writing it and making it available to people who may find themselves vulnerable to the subject matter. Even my darkest stories have lines that I try not to cross if I think they’ll be taken too seriously. I don’t glorify gun violence or promote promiscuity with strangers or encourage suicidal tendencies of any kind. Even if those concepts make their way into one of my stories, I treat them very carefully. That’s a part of expressing yourself as well. You don’t want to put any bad vibes out into the world if you don’t have to.

And yet...silence isn’t the answer either. It never has been.

There’s a rapper named Vic Mensa who once said that it was an artist’s duty to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. And I believe the same thing. You can’t keep the world from seeing the rain forever. I don’t care HOW much pressure you put on us...seeking truth is human. Instead of playing pretend, how about you hand me an umbrella and teach me how to be careful out there? You know? It’s a lot less impossible.

I think that...if you really have a part of yourself that you want to share, a story to tell, a perspective that you think might open the eyes of some of the people in your audience...then tell that story. Do it. There will be times when it feels a little scary, and there may be comments that will try to intimidate you out of speaking your mind...but these are the times when you have to ask yourself the question...

...Am I going to try something safe and go with the flow...or am I ready to deal with possibly going up against the grain?

And I mean what I say when I mention ‘being ready’. Because sometimes it takes a bit of practice with some less controversial subjects to sort of get your head in the game and tackle the big fish. (Hehehe, what kind of metaphoric jumble was that??? Maybe I need some more practice myself!) That would be my advice, but...if you just have a deep story burning you up inside and you want to shout it out while the fire is still in you...then go for it. At the end of the day, its all up to you. The key is to thoroughly examine the thoughts and emotions in your head, and deliver them in a way that creates that emotional gut punch that you want it to have...while still being able write with a sense of tact and grace. This is much easier said than done, depending on how close you are, personally, to the subject matter. But that’s where being ‘ready’ comes into play here.

I can remember (during one of my life long re-runs) when the AIDS virus was running wild all over the place, and by the time I had gotten to high school...there were people all over, in the media, and the church, and politics, and the papers...who were just SCREAMING for everybody to be abstinent! No sex! Ever! Sex is bad! Gaaaahhhhhh!!! And anybody who disagrees is a full blown criminal!

Hahaha...an abstinent 14 year old ‘Comsie’...that’s hilarious!

But I remember music and movies pretty much fighting back against that idea. They went against the grain. Because...’fuck off’. You want to teach sexual safety, then cool. But don’t tell me that sex is bad...you’re not going to win that argument. Rap music was rally getting popular around this time and more mainstream...and there were a bunch of songs encouraging safety and condoms and intimacy...but they didn’t demonize sex in general. And this was seen as a huge insult to the powers that be who were trying to control the narrative.

::Shrugs:: Sorry. You failed. Again. Just like you did with everything else.

One of these songs was “Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt N’ Pepa, and it was catchy and fun and delivered a good message without devaluing or dismissing the beauty of sex as a whole. It was going against the grain, but like I said...it was doing it with tact and grace. And that’s how you can get a controversial or even a socially unacceptable message across with minimal threat, and thus...minimal backlash.

This would be an example of using a little sugar to help the medicine go down, as they say. Again...if you’re going to do something that may cause backlash or trouble with people absorbing your story...you have to have enough self awareness to do so within reason. You can’t just spout off whatever you want and expect your readers to stand for it. I’m talking about extremes here, and dancing on those lines that you’re not supposed to cross when writing your narrative. It’s not about self censorship. It’s about being able to effectively get your point across to your audience. Period.

When your subject matter is deliberately creating discomfort or anger in your readers...you begin to lose your ability to communicate. People’s defenses go up almost immediately, and what you end up with is an audience that is more focused on fighting back against what you have to say than they are trying to find some meaning within it. And that was the whole point, wasn’t it? Having your readers understand?

Pushing too hard or trying to be too edgy or controversial can only end up working against you at some point. Let me repeat it again...tact and grace. Say what you have to say, but don’t forget your manners, lest you lose your fanbase to something that they might get more enjoyment out of. Readers and writers have a symbiotic relationship, remember? So always remember to play your part in that.

If you want to maybe challenge your audience to accept certain ideas or concepts that they probably wouldn’t normally...it may take a few extra pokes and prods...but don’t lose your footing in the process.

I remember listening to Madonna’s “Human Nature” over and over again early in my writing days when I just wanted to find my confidence and keep writing some of the stories that I knew I was going to have to hear some bullshit about at some time or another. Specifically, “Untouchable”...which was a constant grief for me at the time. Then again...any sex scene that I wrote either got rejected or completely ignored by people who didn’t want anyone to know that they liked it. Ugh!

But I kept writing anyway. And I refused to stop doing it my way. I used tact and grace, so what was I so worried about? They’re love stories...with sex in them. Deal with it. Hehehe!

These lyrics helped me through a lot...

You punish me for telling you my fantasies
I’m breaking all the rules I didn’t make
you took my words and made a track for silly fools
you held me down and tried to make me break

Did I say something TRUE?
OOPS! I didn’t know we couldn’t talk about sex!
Did I have a point of view?
OOPS! I didn’t know we couldn’t talk about YOU!

And I’m not sorry!
It’s human nature!
And I’m not sorry!
I’m not your bitch, don’t hang your shit on me!

Now, will this keep you safe from all manner of backlash and criticism? Hahaha! Hell no! You wish! You can tell people that they have some lint on their shirt, and they’ll throw a full blown tantrum over the horrendous offense! All I’m saying is that I realize that some of you, maybe even most of you, have a very personal story to tell. One that is full of struggle and strife, heartache and pain, and any number of any other harsh experiences that you might want to write some day. You might even want to start today. And it might be uncomfortable for some people to hear it. But as long as you’re able to write that story without judgement, anger, some overpowering agenda, and without losing your audience or sense of responsibility for what you’re doing...then you can not only craft one hell of a powerful story, but you can end up making a real difference in the lives of your readers. And that’s something that lasts forever.

Take care, my beloved peers! I hope this helps! And I’ll seezya soon with more! ((Hugz))