MDBCs 29 Sep 2023

My wife is a very adventurous cook. “How does this sound?” she called out from the kitchen. “Bonito, surimi, and anchovies in a decadent, silky broth.”

“Sounds delicious,” I hollered back. “Is that what we’re having tonight?”

“No. I’m reading from this packet of cat food.”

***

On a trip to Sweden, I asked a few people where I could find some good local cuisine. “This is a pretty cosmopolitan city, so you can find just about any kind of international food that you’d like,” said one man.

“But if you want truly local cuisine, get the meatballs at IKEA.”

***

Working as a telemarketer for MCI Communications, I made a call to a Minnesota home one evening. When a boy around eight answered the phone, I identified myself, told him I was calling for MCI and asked to speak to his parents.

As he put the phone down, I heard him yell, "Dad! Dad! The FBI wants to talk to you!"

As soon as the father answered the phone in a quivering voice, I said, "Sir, this is not the FBI; this is MCI Communications."

After a long pause, the man said, "This is the first time I am actually glad to hear from you guys."

***

The DMV was as crowded and noisy as ever. When I finally got to the  window, I asked the clerk,

“Does the never-ending line of loud people ever drive you crazy?”

She shook her head. “We call it job security.”

***