I am only your boyfriend some of the time.

The rest of the time I am nothing.

My voice has no words

My mind is without content

My heart has no value

I exist, as only a broken shadow in your mind.

For I am only your boyfriend some of the time.

I look back through my blogs here, public and private... I look back through e-mails, many I never sent... I look back over my life and for so... so long I have been unhappy - in a desperate struggle with my boyfriend to get him to show the love he once did.

I never win that struggle.

Why do I still bother? I don't even know anymore.

Real happiness is only a shadow of a dream I had a long time ago.